The Botanist and the Beast
by KarmaKat
Summary: [Sesshomaru x OC] Beauty and the Beast, with a fluffy twist. When the past and the present collide in feudal Japan, how will Sesshomaru deal with the mortal woman Rin just won't leave behind?
1. My first Year

_**Disclaimer: I don't own, Sessh Rin and all other inu char's, I barely own a beat to hell dodge, to whoever does own the Inuyasha char's: if you want it the van is yours.**_

The Botanist and The Beast

Chapter 1: My first Year

_Dear Alice,_

_Stay the hell out of my hole._

_-The White Rabbit_

It all started simply enough with my dream job, studying plant progression and elevation correlations, at varying altitudes of Mt. Yari, in Japan. Ok it sounds boring and mostly my day was consumed by hiking, taking GPS coordinates, marking ten meter square plots of land, identifying and counting the number of each plant in the plots and hiking on. Job perks included: lots of hiking, camping, solar powered computers, plenty of paid tanning time, and some rock climbing; job downsides: boredom, infrequent bathing, weeks in the middle of nowhere, and not being able to pick the people you will be spending these weeks in the wilderness with.

My excitement about the job stemmed mostly from being in a foreign country, studying exotic plants I would normally only encounter in a lab, climbing an unknown mountain and the chance to see feudal era ruins. The last wasn't a promise, but there where many rumors of hidden feudal lord strongholds and demon caves, it all sounded exciting and magical. Yet by the time the real supernatural events occurred, I had lost all my enthusiasm and what I encountered was far more than the crumbled home of a long dead warlord.

I would like to open my tale by saying that reality television has nothing on grimy, arrogant, short tempered, undergrads stuck for weeks in the woods doing mind numbing, repetitious data collection and analysis. It was only week three, of six, when coworker interrelations caused me to lose my temper and leave for the days study area without my assigned aid. My pain in the ass-signed aid, was actually my thought as I stormed into the woods, a good four hours before the teams where supposed to leave base.

Terrance Palmer was an ass of the highest caliber. That morning over an early breakfast, Takai, the official Japanese Governmental Representative to the Mt. Yari Project, was telling me a story about the mountains history of being the home to the Inu-no-Taisho, a demon Dog General who fought amazing battles against the forces of hell. I was engrossed in his tale, my spoken Japanese; I felt, was an atrocity due to my horrible American accent. However, I was a great listener and Takai loved to tell stories about the spirits or yokai, which used to fill the mountains. TP, however, could not speak a single word of Japanese, poorly accented or no, and decided to take offense to Takai and my bilingual conversation.

"What the fuck are you rambling about now, Tacky?" Terrance's nasal voice whined as he approached us still in his sleepwear. Both being early risers, Takai and I had greeted the rising sun an hour earlier. We were fully dressed and drinking our third cups of gritty camp coffee by the time the offensive American approached us. The difference between Takai and me, at this moment, was that after three cups of coffee he becomes far too cheerful.

"Konichiwa, Terrance-san! Coffee?" he called happily to the grumpy researcher offering an empty cup. But the cheerful tone, polite smile and promise of coffee would not detour TP's bad mood.

"You can fucking speak good English, what the fuck are you two talking about that the rest of us shouldn't be able to understand?" He groused moodily snatching the cup from Takai before filling it.

"I am so very sorry, Terrance-san, Donella-chan wanted to practice her Japanese, despite what she says though she is already very good." Takai smiled encouragingly.

"See there it is again, what the fuck is with that? My name is Terrance, TERR-ANCE" he spoke the syllables loudly and slowly for emphasis, shoving his face towards Takai rudely, "there's no fucking san, chan or chin at the end of it, can you get that into your stupid fucking head?"

"Terrance you have no right to be so rude! We are here at the sufferance of Takai-sama's government and you should be more considerate of our precarious status as visitors in this country." I cried as I pushed him away from the cowering dignitary and inserted my body between them.

"Fucking you too? I don't need to take any advice from you chicky, you're the only bitch on this crew and it's got everything to do with affirmative action and political correctness and nothing to do with what little brains you may have in that fluffy little head of your." He bawled, by now everyone in the campsite was up and watching the show with unconcealed curiosity. In such a small campsite with no TV, this was all the drama they'd get to enjoy.

"I would like to remind you, Mr. Palmer that my GPA, tests scores and over all class standing is higher than yours, or anyone else's present and that this project is based on my research proposal. The only reason you are here is because of me. And the little brains I have in my fluffy little head!" And that's when I grabbed my pack and decided that I'd give myself time to cool off and let the other teams meet me at the sight.

It was not a difficult trek and I was of the opinion that with GPS you can't really get lost in the woods anymore. So of course that's why when it went haywire, I fell off the mountain. Or to be more accurate, into the mountain, since I fell down a hole.

I woke up in a cavern to the sound of a little girl singing. It was a nice song, from what I heard, some one was the bravest and strongest and had a faithful servant named Jaken. More importantly to my state it was in Japanese and off key enough to convince me that I was not dead or hearing the songs of angels nor golden harps. My attempt to move elicited an involuntary moan of pain from my lips as I struggled to associate the aches in my body with conscious knowledge of my state.

The singing stopped abruptly at my whimper and I opened my eyes to find myself in a cave suffused with afternoon light and I lay still thinking, _If I left at six and it's past noon now then I have been out almost five hours, surly they've mounted a search party by now! My GPS locator should have brought them right to me hours ago, I'm only a little over an hour from base camp, at the most._ I pushed myself to a sitting position and took stock of the situation.

I landed on my back, which was good; my backpack absorbed most of the impacted, and from the distance to the top of the cavern, I must have fallen a quite a distance, yet tentative tests proved I had nothing more than minor abrasions and bruises. Then, laying eyes on the scattered pieces of broken brown plastic and electronic components I realized that help would be a long time in coming. The GPS was toast.

"Hi, are you ok?" A little girl was skipping towards me a look of concern creasing her tiny features.

"I think so," I replied in my heavy accented Japanese, "Do you parents live near here little girl?" _Maybe they even have a phone?_ I thought hopefully.

The little girl reached me and knelt next to me and giggled. "You talk funny. My parents are dead," The little girl said baldly, "But Lord Sesshomaru, master Jaken and I live in the big castle near here. They would surly help you if you could make it that far! Lord Sesshomaru is the bravest, kindest lord ever." _Castle huh? Lord, master, what sort of game is this kid playing in her imagination? Oh well, she looks well fed, hopefully they have a phone at her 'castle'._ I tried to stands and found that my left ankle throbbed mercilessly under my weight but that I could indeed move.

"Lead the way, little one, My Name in Donella, what's yours?" I asked as I shuffled to the cave mouth.

"Oh, I'm Rin. You can lean on me if you want I'm really very strong!" She said trying to fit her small frame under my torso for support.

"Well none of that, Rin, I can walk on my own, but thank you for the offer. Besides you would be better help if you'd just lead the way, I'm afraid I have no idea where I'm going." We entered the forest and I was surprised to find that the cave was on a well walked path. In the three weeks I had been on the mountain such obvious trails should have been apparent especially from above as our camp and research areas where.

_Wow how hard did I knock my head to be this disoriented? I know I fell down, but how far did I walk and in what direction before the fall, are my memories wrong? Never mind, if you find a phone you will find people who can give the rescue team directions. This will all be a funny story by dinner… And TP will never let me live it down. _That thought pained me greatly, but there was really nothing for it_. I made a stupid mistake marching off on my own and I will just have to be the bigger person and accept the derision to come, gracefully._

While I had been lost in thought the little girl, Rin, had been prattling on about Master Jaken, and Lord Sesshomaru-sama. It all seemed to be in the same vein the lord was great and good and handsome, blah, blah and Jaken was apparently tiresome and annoying but good and brave, blah, blah, blah. Both would help me, blah, blah… _At least her voice isn't grating and easy to tune out._ I thought ungraciously as we turned a bend and the path all of a sudden looked down into a valley and I was so stunned by the sight before me my stumbling steps came to a halt.

There was a castle; a real life feudal era warlord's castle nestled into the natural fortification of the V-shaped valley. Two tree-lined and rocky slopes rose high above the castle nestled in their junction. There was only one entrance point it being the exact path Rin and I where on and the entryway was guarded by a massive gate and a towering stone wall. Wow. _The guys who designed this place planned on holding off not just an army, but a demon army of epic proportions_. "Holy Hanna, that's really a castle." I said in English, and to my complete amazement the child replied, "Mhmm and you're not talking funny any more."

I looked down at her, and stated in astonishment and delight, "You speak English."

"I don't know I just talk like everyone else."

"But you understand me, so you must have been taught English."

"No, you are talking like me, what is Eg-lish?" _Great, more games. At least we won't have to put up with much of my crappy Japanese though, if nothing else I can use her to translate to her parents. _

"Ok, you win; let's just get to the castle." As we continued our trek into the valley I noticed I could see some cows, chickens and a dog in the complex but no people. Yet, smoke was rising from the chimneys of the thatch huts that surrounded the main building and where there is smoke there are people. It also struck me that there where no power or telephone lines, satellite dishes or motorized vehicles in evidence, but I was not disheartened. Even in the most remote portions of South America and Africa you could find one broken down truck that was the pride of a community hidden in a shed somewhere. _It might take some convincing and a little elbow grease but at the most I'll be back at camp in a day or so, depending on what sort of task they set as recompense for the gas. _

A few more minutes on foot and we reached the compound's open gate, and that's when a little toad told me I wasn't in Kansas any more. "Rin!" a whiny little squeak of a voice called, "Rin, where have you been? You know Lord Sesshomaru ordered you not to be wandering off alone anymore. Why didn't you tell me were you where going and who is this, this woman!" Then my brain finally registered what my eyes where telling them. A frog, dressed in brown, and carrying a stick with two dried up heads on top was yelling at my little guide. Considering all the drama and trauma I had suffered that day, it was little wonder that that was the trigger to make me pass out again.

The next time I woke it was dark outside, torches burned in wall receptacles in the well-furnished bedroom where I found myself. I was on a futon covered in blanket that would have cost me a year's salary. My injuries had been dressed, my ankle was expertly wrapped, and my pack sat discarded in a near by corner. I noticed my cloths had also been changed. I now wore a red and green kimono that I also would never have been able to afford and I felt very out of place.

Laying my aching head back on the luxurious pillow I thought. _Well the toad was probably a hallucination due to the extreme smack in the head I suffered. He's no doubt a very ugly little midget, but still human._ I thought logically, _and that staff?_ I asked myself tauntingly, _well, ok, these folks are obviously into some really weird things, but the little girl seems to be in good shape and they didn't tie you to a sacrificial alter and invite their demon gods for dinner._ Yet, I decided that if I was going to be in a poorly written fairytale I would do it in my own cloths. Though the kimono was lovely, it would seriously hamper me if I had to run. Let's face facts, when in a strange place surrounded by crazy shriveled head brandishing old men, being able to run unhindered seemed like a sensible stratagem.

Going to my pack I pulled out my, "if I fall into a river", change of cloths. A pair of socks, a small black cotton tank top and a pair of black denim shorts. My shoes where still MIA, but after changing into my normal cloths I felt more relaxed. _Time to explore_, I thought as I tentatively opened the sliding wall divider that passed as a door, and entered the most beautiful and fragrant garden I'd ever seen. Glowing in the moonlight it was almost magical.

My brain started to automatically catalog identifiable plants and their Latin names. _Lilliacea, orchidacea, poacea_… I knelt before a beautiful purple flower with spoon-shape petals, "Berberidaceae Ranzania japonica, you shouldn't be here. Pretty little Togakushisgouma, this isn't the right climate for you, don't you know it's far to cold here for you to be flowering?" I murmured to the plant as I laid a palm on the soil above its roots. The earth was warm.

"It is not easy to cultivate at this altitude, but its petals have some very useful qualities." A chill voice spoke from behind me. I jumped to my feet startled and reprimanding myself.

"I'm sorry I didn't know anyone was here." I said in startled English and then realizing that I spoke in the wrong language I searched my memory to translate what I had said, but the darkness near the building responded, "You are not a prisoner, you may go where you please, there is no need to apologize." It was a flat statement with no discernable tone.

I was startled into asking the obvious question, "Does everyone here speak English?"

"No." was the short reply as the shadow I was talking to stepped into the moonlight. Long white hair, white kimono with red floral accents his hands where hidden it the billowing sleeves, he wore an eccentric fur boa and two swords belted to his left hip. The stranger looked like he had stepped from a panting of what a feudal Japanese Lord should appear. But I was more stunned by the pointed ears.

I couldn

t help my exasperated response to this new development, "Great, I've either A: fallen down a rabbit hole into a land inhabited by talking toads, crazy orphans and handsome pointy eared devil elves. Or the most likely explanation is B: I'm bleeding to death at the bottom of a cavern in a foreign country, hallucinating my last few hours of life away with no hope of rescue!" I flopped onto the nearby stone bench and covered my face in my hands.

"I assure you, you are not hallucinating."

"Says the product of my fevered mind, please, excuse me if I don't really believe you, but your unnatural appearance contradicts your words. Though I'm really very disappointed in myself, you don't really resemble Jude Law at all."

"Believe what you will." He said in that same colorless tone of voice and then in a blur of white he vanished. I sat on the bench in a despairing fugue. All of the excitement of prospective castle exploration and the rare plant discovery where consumed by the overwhelming idea that I had just created all this as an escape from my slow and untimely demise, and I was growing very cold. _Great, probably the manifestation of shock setting into my body, might as well pretend to warm up; it may make this all easier._ So I plodded my way back into the sumptuous suite I had started in and curling up into the imaginary luxury of the bed, I fell asleep again.

I awoke to sunlight pouring into the room and a child shaking me awake, "Miss Donella, are you feeling better? I brought you some porridge I made, would you like to come pick flowers with me?" _Rin, couldn't I have thought of a better name for this chatter box?_ I thought as my grumbling stomach awoke to even the idea of pretend food. I sat up and gratefully took the proffered bowl. "Thank you, Rin." I said and gained a sunny smile for the effort, she prattled on, "I'm so glad you remember me! I'm sorry master Jaken scared you into fainting, or maybe you where just tired, but he's not bad he's a very good person once you get to know him, although not very patient…" and on she went as I consumed my porridge, dressed in the kimono from the night before and followed her out into the garden.

The day passed pleasantly, Rin chattered on and asked a zillion questions. I taught her some of the Latin names and medicinal properties of a few of the plants found in the garden as we made garlands and crowns from them in the languid sunshine. We had a simple lunch of bread and cheese, and I watched her chase fire flies that evening after a meal of cooked fish and rice before telling her a story, hugging her good night and going to bed.

Six days past uneventfully this way. From Rin's incessant chatter I learned that Lord Sesshomaru was an Inu-Daiyokai who had recently been searching for a big bad hanyou named Naraku. He'd saved Rin from the master of hell and was supposedly taking a break at the castle, but never appeared to be around. I met Jaken a few more times, and confirmed my initial impression that the little kappa was an annoying whiner with an over blown sense of self worth who constantly berated Rin for everything she did and completely disapproved of me. It appeared that the only reason he didn't kill me is because his lord left orders to leave me be.

I taught Rin to sing the most annoying song in the world to make him suffer, and occasionally heard her enthusiastic cries of, "This is the song that doesn't end! Yes it goes on and on my friend! Some people…" and his protests in the distance as I bathed or read from one of the books I found in the castle's extensive library. Slowly I came to the conclusion that I was in fact not hallucinating and that I had some how ended up in a crazy alternative version of my world.

_Well, when leaving Brigadoon you only have to walk through the mist._ With this crazy mythical logic in mind on my seventh day I put the cloths I arrived in back on. Dressed in my green cargo pants, yellow tank top and hiking boots and carrying my pack, Rin and I returned to where she'd found me. I climbed the outside ridge and was excited to find that the landmarks on the hill above the cave where the familiar ones from near the campsite. Curious unimportant thoughts flitted through my mind momentarily, like: _why hadn't a search party found me already and why had we never seen the castle until I fell_, but it was unimportant as, with Rin stoically following, I hurriedly made my way down the familiar path back to reality.

Yet, when I arrive thirty minutes later to the familiar clearing there was no sign of the camp, nor any suggestion a camp had ever been there. Even the area where the latrine had been dug was nothing more than grass; no evidence of man was apparently anywhere but in the persons of Rin and me.

Retracing our steps Rin followed me back into the cave. She was abnormally quiet as I tried to climb through hole I fell from, but even with my climbing gear the walls of the tunnel where just to sheer for me to attach to and resisted my attempts.

I tried it with my boots, I changed into my Barracuda rock shoes and I even tried it barefoot. Each time I fell I accumulated more scratches and bruises for my efforts and gained no ground. As I dangled from my safety line for the hundredth time that day I let out a wordless cry of defeat and anguish. Slowly I climbed down, packed my gear away, gathered the shattered pieces of my GPS unit and we returned to the castle in silence.

In the garden that night as I finished our usual story and hugged her she said sadly, "You tried to go back to where you came from, didn't you?"

"Yes." My soft reply echoed her sad demeanor.

"But I saw, you couldn't go through, you just kept falling."

"Yes." I sighed and she hugged me again, tightly.

"I'm sorry, I bet you miss your family very much." She mumbled into my arm. I thought about my family and said quite honestly, "My father isn't ever around, and I don't know him very well. My mother is a mean, unhappy woman who hates children and my siblings and I only speak when a catastrophe occurs. I don't really miss them much, but I miss my life. I miss my job and my sense of purpose and all the things I was constantly fighting for." She lifted her head from my shoulder, "Do you miss your boyfriend?" Her question made me laugh as I thought about Garry, not once as I reflected on my life had a longing to see him occur.

"I have a boyfriend, his name is Garry, but I don't think I miss him either." I answered honestly.

"Don't you love him?" Her shocked tone made me smile.

"Not really. He's not the kind of person you love."

"Then why is he your boyfriend?" The bald personal question frustrated me.

"Not that a little girl should be asking a grown-up such questions, but when you get older you'll understand that not all the arrangements of life are going to bring you happiness. Now please go to bed, Rin, I've had a long day and would really appreciate some time to think." She energetically hopped out of my lap, my annoyance and angry words not even affecting her buoyant nature.

"Sure thing, Donella-sama!" She cried happily before skipping to the door on her side of the garden. As she reached it she turned and said, "I'm glad you're here," and quickly closed the door behind her.

Alone in the still evening garden, I contemplated my life. I couldn't stay in the magical castle forever, it smacked of freeloading and I am far too independent for things like that. Also the idea that the predatory creature I'd insulted in the garden my first night might be my unintentional host worried me. I doubted I'd made a favorable impression and in a feudal system he had every right to kill anyone under his purview, and living in his castle definitely put me in that position. My mind made up I went to sleep for my seventh night in the magic castle and I had intended it to be my last.

The next day I rose before the dawn and packed my things, and then went to Rin's room across the garden. With out knocking I entered and looked down at the child's sleeping form for several minutes, soaking in the peace and innocents of youth, then I shook her awake.

"Hey, Rin?" I said as her eyes fluttered open in the dim predawn light.

"Donella-sama, what's wrong?" She asked a note of alarm in her voice.

"Nothing is wrong sweetie; I just needed to get going early this morning and wanted directions from you." I said brushing her disheveled hair down reassuringly with my hand.

"But where are you going?" She asked the distress creeping back into her voice.

"Well that depends, I figure with a castle this size you need to get farmed products from somewhere, and that means eventually a human settlement of some place is near by right?" I was really just guessing about that but it seemed reasonable and if there where people the child would know where.

"There is one in walking distance down stream, but the people there are not nice." She said making a rather grumpy and ugly face. _But at least they are human, and angry annoying people are always easier than dealing with fickle yokai_, I thought moodily.

"Well that's where I'm going to go for the time being, I hope to find something outside of the settlement, I don't really like people either, but is it close enough that you can visit me?" I was actually going to miss the child and it seemed that she didn't get much companionship in the apparently empty castle.

"Well there's an empty building halfway between here and there, I could make it there in a few hours and its right next to the river…" The child trailed of hopefully. _A few hours to town or a few hours to the scary demon castle and the little princess inside, yeah that's got the ring of a dysfunctional fairytale with great vacation options._ I thought acerbically as I considered the sleepy child. "Well then that sounds like the place to find me if you ever get to lonely." I said giving her a cheerful hug.

"But why can't you just stay here? Don't you like it here?" Rin looked up at me with confused, pleading eyes.

"I do sweetie, but I've already been abusing your lord's generosity to much and I need to find my own place. Could you do me a big, important favor though?" I asked her and at her solemn nod I gave her the only valuable possession that had been in my bag, "This bracelet is gold, and it belonged to my great, great grandmother it's the only thing of worth I have. This big stone is called a ruby and it's very expensive where I come from." It hurt to let the heirloom go, but I just couldn't leave a debt between me and a Daiyokai, all legend pointed that being a very bad idea. "Now Rin, please, the next time you see your Lord Sesshomaru, would you give him this and tell him I hope that it repays the debt I owe him, please?" The girl took the bracelet gravely and nodded again. Giving her a brief hug I said, ok then I'm off and I hope to have a visit from you soon, k?" Another quiet nod and I fled to the gate, I fled the child's inevitable tears and from the silent, lonely castle.

The hut was not hard to find, tucked away from the road on a little side path it too was from a fairytale. In the early sunlight it glowed. Covered in flowering vines next to the energetic river and surrounded by vegetation it was the typical good granny's house and seemed to be waiting for no one else but me.

Settling into the cottage took very little time, a venture into the nearby village informed me that the people their where not receptive to strangers, but where also desperate for an herbalist and general healer. The former I had down pat and the later proved to be mostly 20th century common sense about cleaning and wrapping wound, sewing cuts, and supervising the occasional birth. Birth where actually the easiest to deal with because there were always so many female relatives around for such things I was only present for moral support.

Weeks passed pleasantly as I planted an herb garden with local plants I found in the near by woods, made salves tea satchels, and hung herbs to dry near the fire. I had a boy repair my roof and re-tar the slats of my cottage for fixing his brother stomach pain from mushroom poisoning, I experimented with making lotions and I learned to make soap from a local granny. It was a full month before Rin came to see me, Jaken in tow.

"Donella-sama! Donella-sama! Are you home?" The child's voice was insistent and cheerful as in filtered to me in the garden.

"Do not yell Rin, if she is not here we will just return to the castle that much sooner." Jaken grating voice was far less welcome than Rin's but a necessary evil.

"Oh no you don't toad!" I called as I came to my feet, "Rin I'm in the garden, follow the path." But directions where unnecessary, for the moment she heard my exclamation she was running around the back of the hut and barreled me down with a leaping hug which made me laugh with joy. "Even though you where the one who gave me direction, I was beginning to believe you'd forgotten the way here, kiddo."

"No it just took me ever so long to convince Master Jaken to let me come, and finally Lord Sesshomaru told him he had to bring me." She said breathlessly as I climbed to my feet again still holding the child.

"Well then, Master Jaken," the shade of irony in my voice was heavy; "perhaps I could make it up to you with some soup? I received some venison yesterday and it made a fine stew." As I carried Rin to the house I heard him smack his lips behind me.  
"It might be a start, human." He said haughtily and followed us into the hut. That evening was a happy one as I fed Jaken and Rin stew and told her a story. Jaken pretended not to listen, but he was also captivated by my tale of Robin the Hooded. It was well into the evening when they left, and I promised Rin a story about a girl named Persephone and how she got lost from her mother.

More time passed; weekly I would get visits from Rin and Jaken. We spent pleasant evenings together and I told them stories, fables, myths and legends from all over the world. If they came early enough, I told Rim about herbs. She told me of the time she saved Jaken from fatal poisoning with a plant called the Thousand Year Flower and how she thought herbs where very useful because they could save people like that.

When a wounded samurai was brought to me, short one leg at the knee cap, I helped him fight off infection, helped the fever go down and held his hand in the night while he cried for what he had lost. In return he gave me his sword and taught me everything he knew about using it and to defend myself without it. After he left I practiced the katas he had shown me every morning before going to my garden and starting my day. That summer I practiced by the river, and when winter came, I practiced by the fire in my home and learned to weave cloth. And so my first year passed in the strange feudal Japan.


	2. When Bandit’s Attack

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's, I barely own a beat to hell Dodge, Takahashi Rumiko: if you want it, the van is yours. (Please pay for delivery.)

The Botanist and the Beast

Chapter 2: When Bandit's Attack

_Dear Alice,_

_Earl Grey is infinitely better that horse dung, but I prefer Madagascan Red._

_-The Mad Hatter_

My fulfilling, if boring life, was interrupted the day the village was raided by bandits. Rin was in the garden with me when the marauders came upon us. Unthinkingly I ran to the cottage to get my sword and she followed, Jaken was taking a nap outside the door. It happened all at once, and to this day I blame myself.

I tripped over Jaken; Rin, so close at my heels, fell over me and the bandit's blade dug into the child's side. As she screamed I turned, grabbing the brigand's sword arm and pulling him into my fall. We grappled for the sword, he punched me several times in the face, kicked me, and kneed me in the stomach, but some how I managed to gain control of the sword and send it through his sternum. Sheer adrenaline allowed me to pull it free as I whirled to a standing position and faced another attacker. Jaken was to my left, shooting spears of fire from the mouth of his staff, Rin lay still on the ground behind him. _Rin, Rin I have to get to Rin,_ repeated in my brain on an endless feed back loop as I thoughtlessly went through the motions of killing my opponent and taking on the next. There where only twenty of them, I say only twenty not because my skill was so great, I only killed three men that day, and Jaken four, but only thirteen human men faced Sesshomaru's rage when he arrived, and he mowed them down like grass, and the anger in his eyes was not satisfied as he raced to the fallen child's side.

"Don't you dare move her!" I cried as he reached to lift her, and that driving, bloody rage was turned to me, and I was not afraid. I was too worried about her wounds; to frightened that moving her would take all the life she had left out of her before I could bandage her enough to hold even a single spark of her shinning life force into that limp little body.

"If you move her she will surely bleed out, and their will be no hope at all," I said as I dropped my sword and dove past the red eyed, snarling, creature to the child's side. With the knife I had strapped to my side I cut the child's kimono open to reveal the wound. It was deep, but she was breathing and had fallen towards the wound staunching it to a degree. She had not lost a lot of blood and was only unconscious due to shock. I cut a large strip of my left sleeve off with my knife and balling it up I pressed it to the wound. "Here hold this while I get my kit." I said forcefully tugging the yokai's clawed hand to the wound. He startled and pulled back. "Look, kill me later, but for God's sake, help me save her NOW!" I yelled, Jaken was chattering something, but I was lost in the moment, nothing mattered but the child bleeding, the yokai and me as I reached for his hand again. He brushed past me and knelt, pressing his hand to the wound.

"Hurry." Was all he said, and needing no more encouragement, I ran into my home. It took me less then thirty minutes to sew her up, put salve on the wound and swath it in bandages, but it felt like an eternity and all the while the Daiyokai stood above me, waiting to pass judgment. The blade must have been dull, it only sliced muscle and tissue and the cut did not reach the child's organs, but there was still so much blood, and she had left a lot more on the ground as we had fought our attackers. When I was done patching Rin up as best I could, I reached to lift her, but Sesshomaru had her in his arms before I could even register that he'd moved. "Wait." I said numbly hoping to stop him before he carried her away to the lonely unpopulated castle, and he just stood behind me waiting.

Climbing to my own feet I confronted him, looking into his face. "She will not die immediately, but I need to keep her here so I can watch her at least for the night. A secondary infection could settle in or an illness. I need her here so I can treat her, or all my efforts are pointless." I was weary and frightened for Rin, but I met his eyes squarely and did not look away for his impassive visage or his angry eyes.

"She is no longer your concern, she will be cared for." He said as turned to leave, and I lost my temper.

"Yes, of course, how could I have presumed to know more about human physiology and what may harm them than a great inhuman monster such as you. I'm sure you've nursed many a mortal back to health from wounds, and illness and all of the wonderful little accidents of life than could quickly end our short existences and of which you have no experience. Please, by all means, take her back to your empty castle and order her to be well. I only ask that you place a lily on her grave for me, when it doesn't work, and know that you are the only one to blame." And with that furious utterance I entered my hut and wrathfully slammed the door without waiting for a reply.

I threw myself onto the bed and fumed at the ceiling for several minutes before there was a loud knocking on the door. My first thought was to wounded villagers. I had been so caught up in my own drama with the yokai and Rin that it did not occur to me until that moment that the band would have ridden right through the village before reaching me. I snatched my discarded medicine bag and flew to the door to be confronted with Jaken.

"Jaken, not now I have to go to the village and see to the wounded." I said brushing past him in my hurry.

"Forget the pathetic humans, Lord Sesshomaru instructed me to help you with whatever you may need to carry to the castle." I stopped in my march.

"Explain that to me Jaken, why would I be going to the castle?"

"Baka, ningen, to care for Rin of course!"

I thought about turning him down, but maybe this would be considered me granting him a favor, and having a Daiyokai in your debt was never a bad thing. "Tell your lord I will acquiesce to his appeal for assistance with the child as soon as I am finished in the village, and that anything I need I will be quite able to carry myself."

Jaken's sputtering arguments where quickly drowned out by my own panting breath and pounding feet at I raced to the village my medicine bag in hand. The toad gave a brief chase, but was quickly out run as he stumbled over his own feet and I continued to the village. It was dark by the time I arrived, and the moon had not yet risen, but the still burning fires from huts lit the nightmare scene that greeted me.

Bodies of the people I had tended, mended and help bring into the world littered the ground. Except for the crackling of fires, the night was silent. I wandered through the ghost village calling, "Hello! Anyone?" repeatedly to no avail, and I was hailed with only more bodies in various states of defense, attack or flight. It dawned on me that I did not know more than a handful of their names, and there was no one else left to remember them. I fell to my knees and wept in despair, for them and their cruel fate, and for myself trapped so far from home in another people's historical terror.

I don't know how long I knelt there in the mud created by a river of spilt blood, surrounded by the ghosts of the dead before the dragon descended. I was so numb from the horror of the day, that it almost seemed natural for Jaken to appear riding a two headed dragon and demanding that I accompany him to the castle immediately per his lord's request.

I chuckled to myself bitterly as I mounted the bizarre creature's back and settled into the saddle. _After this, everything should seem normal from now on, and I should expect anything to happen._ If someone had told me the previous summer what my life would be like at that moment I would have told them to put the crack pipe down and seek counseling, and yet there I was; probably no more sane than the imaginary addict. After all, I was the one quietly sitting on a dragon, next to a Kappa in feudal Japan waiting delivery to his Demon Lord's castle instead of running screaming into the night like a good sane woman would.

The trip to but moments on the back of the great beast, and then I was quickly following Jaken down a familiar hall to Rin's bedside. Sesshomaru was there sitting next to the unconscious child on the bed, seemingly perfectly relaxed, head supported by the wall eyes closed in hi quiet repose. Jaken announced, "Here is the ningen woman as you ordered, my lord." The yokai's eyes languidly opened as if he had all evening to open them and looked on his servant and the captive that trailed him.

Sesshomaru's gaze rested on Jaken for several moments before it rose to meet my own, "She is cold and has not awoken, is that normal?" his voice was like a glacier, emotionless and cool. Without answering him I went to the bed. With the child between him and I, I felt only marginally more comfortable as I knelt beside her and took her wrist; feeling for her pulse. "Her hand is indeed icy, but her pulse is strong. She has lost a lot of blood though, and the next few days will be crucial to her survival." Not expecting a reply I was not shocked when he continued his silent observation and I stood and went to the door to the garden. Wordlessly I went out and retrieved several large stones from the stream that fed into the fishpond. Returning placed them as close to the fire that heated Rin's room as possible without burning my fingers.

Somewhere in my absence Jaken had left, I expected that the illusive Lord of the castle would have evaporated into mist also, since that's what previous encounters lead me to believe. Yet, he remained in the room, next to the child and watched me, as I took off my outer shirt and wrapped the now hot stones in it. I carried it to the bed and placed it near Rin's still form.

With nothing else to do for the moment, and not wishing to have any form of conversation with my creepy host, I sat on the bed next to the child. Leaning my head against the wall I allowed exhaustion to over come me. Morpheus' hold upon me lasted mere hours though, as I was wakened by feverish moaning and shivers emanating from my young patient.

Acting quickly I went again to the garden. With my knife I pried some bark loose from the nearby willow, and harvested a portion of the valerian and fevers bane I'd notice on my previous visits. Back in the room I once more ignored the yokai's scrutiny as I pull a stone mortar and petal from my medicine bag. Adding water to the ground ingredients from the garden I placed the mortar near the fire. After the herb mixture had steeped I pulled a cup from my bag. Pouring the concoction into the cup I allowed it to cool to almost room temperature before going to the child and struggled to bring her to a sitting position without spilling the contents of the cup.

It was becoming clear to me that the child's inhuman guardian had no intentions of helping with her care. In fact, my presence was the only sign that he had any concern for his charge whatsoever. I was therefore startled when he deftly took the limp body from me and very gently leaned her against himself in a sitting posture.

For the first time that evening I allowed my eyes to meet his for a moment and I was struck by the concern I saw there. With a reassuring nod, I tilted the Rin's head back and gently pried her mouth open. By pouring small amounts of the tea into her mouth and massaging her throat I managed to get half the cup's contents into her and I looked to her guardian again, "You can lay her down now, it will only take a few moments for that to work and she should sleep restfully through the night."

With more care and gentleness than I would have ever imagined, he laid Rin on the bed again and pulled the blankets over her before turning to me. "If that is the case, and she will sleep through the night, then you may go to your own bed also." I'm not sure what angered me the most, the abrupt dismissal or the idea that I should make the three-hour hike to my hut in the middle of the night through possibly bandit infested woods. _Then again, I certainly don't want to sleep here either, and it might be almost daybreak by the time I get there_.

Wordlessly I grabbed my bag and stood. "Send Jaken to my home tomorrow and I will tell him how to prepare the tea. The wound needs to be cleaned, rewrapped twice daily and coated in this," I said as I took a tube of antibacterial cream from my bag. It was all I had left, but I didn't trust local herbs as much as I trusted hundreds of years of science and bacterial hysteria to kill anything that might threaten her. "Also, if any discoloration, swelling or foul odors around the wound occur send for me directly. She should avoid any strenuous or exuberant exertions for at least the next three weeks." Out of instructions and out of any real energy I turned to leave.

"Arigato" Came the voice behind me; "Yep." was my dismissive reply as I let myself out of the room. The castle was not even an hour behind me before the trauma and exhaustion of the day caught up with me. The terror of the attack, the fact I killed two men with my own hands, Rin's wound, and the horror of the village came crashing down upon me, driving me to my knees. All my tears had been shed at the village, so I sat there, next to the river, hugging a tree for support and screamed my frustration. My throat was raw and tight when I finished, and I abruptly decided I could go no further. Curling up at the base of the tree, I closed my eyes, and gave myself gratefully over to exhausted oblivion.

To be woken after day break by the sound of Jaken yelling my name from over head and grousing to himself about my shortcomings, most seemed invented since I'm not sure how he could even determine if, when, or under what circumstances I would mate with a goat. "Donella! You wretched, indecent, mistaken spawn of a baboon where are you! Donella!" His continued cries became fainter as he flew towards the castle. Apparently he was returning from my hut and searching the path I would have taken home.

I debated my options. I could go back to my hut and assume all was well, after all he was supposed to come and learn how to make that tea, or I could return to the castle and pretend it was my intended destination. Looking down at myself in my blood stained kimono from the day before I opted to take a bath, wash my cloths and wait. If it was urgent enough either way, Jaken would surely pass overhead again, and if it where only about the tea, he would return to my hut at a later time.

Using the soap from my bag, it did not take me long at all to wash myself and my cloths, but even though the kimono was a deep nutmeg brown, some of the blood had still managed to stain the torso and sleeves and the under garments where never going to get clean. I determined to burn them all the moment I got home. In the mean time I secluded myself from the road behind some shrubs and sunned my naked body near the river as thy dried and I promptly drifted off.

I dreamed of my family. It was my sixteenth birthday and I had spent the whole day joyously awaiting something grand. Sweet Sixteen, just like in the movies, good things are supposed to happen on your sixteenth birthday. I wished that daddy would come home. I wished that momma would magically be sweet, notice me and say something wonderful about how smart I was, how good I was or maybe how proud of me she was and we'd have a big party with cake, ice-cream, balloons and lost of presents.

In the dream my sisters, my brother and I would eat the birthday fare on the porch while momma and daddy talked about how happy they where to have a family like ours. Yet the dream got dark, in real life my sixteenth birthday passed unnoticed by my parents, and my father did not come home.

My two sisters Jane and Lizzy and our brother Matt gave me a homemade card and an orange from the fridge and sang happy birthday to me in the room we shared before going to bed. And in the dream, my magical birthday party was ripped to shreds by feudal era bandits and everyone was killed, and I stood there among the bodies of my family, popped balloons and torn presents, and could not cry. My thought before waking, or maybe as I woke was, _at least I still got to have a party_.

I sat there thinking about the dream, mulling it over in the afternoon sun. My eyes drifted to the tree that held my now dry cloths. _I should get dressed and go check on Rin,_ just as that thought drifted into my brain, the bushes rustled behind me. I grabbed the knife from my bag and rolled into one of the bushes in a low crouch. It wasn't much concealment, and the branches where harsh on my bare skin, but hopefully it gave me the element of surprise over a would-be attacker. _This place has more bandits than the Arabian nights!_

A Black boot and white leg stepped through the bushes and I saw the hem of a yellow obi sash fold forward as I realized I recognized the pattern. "Jesus H. Christ! Don't sneak up on a girl like that!" I yelled at the yokai before me and made a dash for my cloths. "What the hell are you doing here anyway? Can't a girl get some peace without bandits and marauding pointy eared freaks sneaking up on them? What kind of world is this?!" I hid my flustered and damaged pride behind anger as I leapt forward and snatched my cloths, clutching them close I dove behind the tree that had held them trying to hide and dress.

"Why are you not at your hovel?" _Hovel? You arrogant cretin!_

"I was bathing, obviously!" I growled somewhat flustered as I tied my kimono on.

"This is some distance from your hovel, why are you not closer?" I audibly ground my teeth angrily. _I do not need to be explaining myself to the likes of him! _

"I don't need to explain my actions to you! Why don't you explain yourself? You are an Inu-Yokai with, I presume, a keel sense of smell and hearing, you knew I was here why the hell didn't you just leave me alone?" Now fully dressed, I left the shelter of the tree to confront him. He stood regally right where I'd left him, as if he had all the time in the world and that was where he belonged. The light of the noon sun made the cascading waterfall of silver hair glow and his pristine cloths made the markings on his face stand out, drawing my attention to his fascinating eyes and well-formed cheekbones. I gritted my aching teeth harder, no one capable of pissing me off that much should have any right to look that good.

"Rin woke and is quite upset; she appears frantic to assure herself that you are not harmed from the attack. Jaken could not find you and his failure has made her even more hysterical. I could not calm her until I promised to retrieve you myself." _Oh geeze._

"Aw fuck!" I exclaimed and then, not used to swearing in front of people I immediately blushed and covered my mouth with my hands. "I'm sorry" I muttered, he raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing. Not wanting to be the one to break the silence I walked towards him and knelt down to retrieve my socks and hiking boots. I put the socks on and then I shook my boots out incase of small bugs or rocks before habitually checking the soles and putting them on. Through this whole procedure the Yokai continued to gaze down at me.

Wordlessly I stood, without looking at him I gripped by bag close and I started towards the trail leading to the castle. My arm touched his as I pushed past him but if he expected an apology he was going to be sorely disappointed, and as he continued to keep his own counsel I would never know. It seemed to take longer to reach the castle than it had to get to my make shift camp the night before. But then my silent company made the trek more of an ordeal. When I gained the path he somehow managed to be there in front of me. Not liking the idea of trailing in his wake all the way to the castle like some wayward child I hurried forward attempting to at least walk beside him, but he eluded me and stayed in the lead. Angry I decided to ignore his presence completely.

In the hopes that he would get annoyed with me and hurry on ahead, I began scanning the edges of the path and periodically stopping to retrieve flowers for Rin. He never stopped, he just continued his unhurried pace and I fell further and further behind him, and yet he never left, he just continued at increasing distances a head of me all the way to the castle, at a leisurely measured pace.

When we arrived he was waiting at the gate until I was with in grabbing distance of him, and then he preceded me in. still the lord of the castle, still putting me in my place. _Fucker_ I thought insolently, but there was no real action I could take to stop him from being an uncouth jerk and so we made our way to Rin's room. Him coolly staring ahead, while I, angrily glaring at the back of his skull imagining painful and evil things befalling him, _like dog's bane in his bath water to give that beautiful skin a nice red rash or tying him to a really tall tree in a lightning storm_.

"Donnella-sama! I am so glad you are all right!" Rin's excited exclamation pulled me from my murderous contemplations as my eyes fell on the happy child.

"Ah, sweet, Hotaru, it would take more than a few smelly bandits to hurt me! Now lie still or you are going to hurt yourself," I said as I hastily moved to her side and lowered myself to her bed. The color in her cheeks was good, but her hands when they clutched mine where still far colder than I would have liked. "My little firefly, you are freezing! And if you shiver and shake those stitches loose I am going to be quite cross. So tuck yourself into your blankets now and lie still while I make you some tea and then you tell me why you had to entreat your poor master to search me out so hurriedly." Though I really felt no sympathy for her poor master, it was obvious she held a great deal of affection towards him, and the repellent yokai lord evidently had some care for her to invite me there in the first place and then come looking for me at her behest.

"I have to go to the garden, I'll be right back." Retrieving the herbs I needed for my brew I returned to the fire.

"Donnella-samma?" Rin asked struggling to sit up.

"Lay still Hotaru or you will harm yourself more, I am here, by the fire and I won't leave this room without you knowing. Please, what seems to be bothering you?" Sesshomaru continued his vigil by the door, and his presence threatened to make me grumpy and cross as I prepared the medicine.

"I dreamed the bandits had killed you, like my family, and I was so worried and you live out there in that lonely hut all by yourself and I had a bad dream that bandits came and cut you all to pieces and they put the pieces in the river and you floated away and Rin couldn't find all of your pieces so that Lord Sesshomaru-sama could use his sword and save your life, and I couldn't stand to see anyone else die…" Her words spent, or maybe just exhausted from her injuries Rin became still on the bed. I poured the tea into my cup and went to her side, but before I could lift her Sesshomaru was there and the child was tenderly cradled in his arms. The fatherly image conflicted greatly with his cold frosty exterior and I again wondered what a demon lord was doing with a human child.

"Here, Hotaru, drink this." I said gently pressing the cup to her lips she took a hesitant sip.

"Donella-sama that tastes awful!" She exclaimed and made a face.

"Well if it tastes awful I know two things. One: You aren't going to join the legions of the dead quite yet, and two you still have to drink more of it, so that we can make sure that time keeps getting farther and farter into the future." I said cheerfully.

"But Donnella-sama.."

"Rin, drink the tea." Sesshomaru cut off her arguments and she immediately drank the entire cup down, which really impressed me.

"If you could package that trick you'd make millions." The yokai gave me a quizzical look as he lowered the child gently back onto the bed and I only shook my head in response and turned my attention back to Rin.

"Now, no more hysterics, I'll have you know your lord interrupted a very nice nap and kept me from getting any breakfast to bring me here." I gently beeped her nose, ignoring the Yokai who still remained sitting next to us on the bed like a deranged guardian angel. "Listen well little Rin. I'm not sure what Sesshomaru-sama's sword has to do with this. Yet I want you to understand this. I have faced eight years of final exams, muggers, a PHD thesis review panel, boardrooms full of over inflated egomaniacs, and politicians. I have fallen into a hole and traveled through time, and been subject your master's snappy repartee more than once and have not died of boredom; therefore, you should have no fear. I am not going to die by the hands of some unwashed renegades clumsily swinging rusty swords." I stated matter-of-factly, not bothering to see what effect my little barb about boredom had on its recipient, I kept my attention focused on the child before me, and her frowning countenance.

"But the village, master Jaken said all the people are dead, and you are all by yourself. If a lot of bandits came, you couldn't stop them all and you'd die." Her anxious words cut me and I sighed wearily, going for a more straightforward approach and I let some of my bottled down rage free.

"Well damn Jaken and his big flapping mouth and damn the bandits that hurt you, this time and in the past. The truth is, my life has become a very uncertain thing, and I can't guarantee that if a hundred bandits came upon me in my rickety little hut that I won't end up a bleeding pulp. I can promise you I'll take more than one of them down with me, and that the others will remember the encounter for years to come. That is the best promise you can ever get from anything mortal, dear." I let out a sad sigh. "I'm just sorry I can't make you a promise that would make it better, but you and I have seen far to much in this world to believe me if I said everything is going to be sunlight and roses forever." I looked down at her sad, drooping eyes.

"You could stay here with me; Sesshomaru-sama and Jaken-dono would keep you safe." She said sleepily, I shook my head.

"We will talk about this another time, sleep now and I can at least promise you that I'll be here when you wake up." I kissed her on the forehead and slowly fled to the garden. Too much honestly, too much perception from someone so very young; I cursed the world that had taken her innocents, and hated myself for my own weakness and fading mortality. The garden was bathed in late afternoon light, still warm and glowing and I turned unseeing, remembering Rin's chilled hands and that she needed another blanket. My movement was halted painfully as I smacked directly into a solid, immovable object. Where did the tree come from? I thought, before I realized the hard object my head had encountered was a breastplate, and the immovable object was Sesshomaru.

I hurriedly stumbled backwards. "Rin needs another blanket," I mumbled stupidly attempting to step around him and back into her room.

"It has already been taken care of." His voice was like an arctic breeze.

"Oh, all right then." I responded numbly. Confused by his continued presence and discomfited by the removal of my only task. I turned and made my way to the bench I had sat on in our previous encounter and stared at the Togakushisgouma, waiting for him to explain himself, or leave.

"It was good that you where honest with her." _Well what do you say to that?_ _'Huh, thank you captain obvious?'_

"Hmm." I responded in what I hoped was an imitation of his cool manner.

"You will remain here in the room you occupied before until Rin is well enough to travel." I started at that and turned to look at him. He was regarding me with something like curiosity on his face, the expression shocked me more than his words something had managed to crack the icy exterior.

"I need to go back to my cottage." I said softly.

"Your absence disturbs Rin to much; I will not allow her to cause herself more injury on your behalf, you will stay." The icy mask slid back into place and his words ignited my anger at him again.

"Baka!" I announced angrily as I stood, "I need cloths, supplies and I will not leave my sword in that shack for anyone to walk off with, I'm lucky to have it in the first place!" I yelled, and then his claws where resting on my face, his grip on my chin was iron.

"Do not insult me, ningen; I could snap you like a twig, if you where not still of use to me you would be dead at this moment. You will remember your place." _So, this is what death looks like_ I thought absently as I gazed in to his furious countenance, _Wow, his eyes are like melted gold. _

But fear would not reach me in the place I was detached to, and my heart refused to quicken its pace. Calmly I said, "But I am still of use to you, and I still have to get my things." Then his eyes widened just slightly, my reaction had surprised him. I let a small, slow smile cross my lips. "Please, release me, Sesshomaru-sama" and I was happy that my soft voice was not pleading or frightened.

He continued to hold my face in his hands and the silent staring contest continued for several minutes as I calmly held his eyes, waiting to die. My neck began to ache, and then he gave a growl and released me. "Jaken will accompany you with Ah-Un, and you will return before nightfall." I blinked in surprise at him, and in that moment he was gone and I was alone in the garden once more.

Ah-Un I discovered was the two-headed dragon I had ridden to reach the castle the previous evening. I was heartened to learn from Jaken that it was an herbivore, and I was appreciative for the transport it provided. I was too numb upon my first encounter of the beast to appreciate it fully. The trip to my cottage upon Ah-Un's back took only moments, and the sensation of flight without the confines of an airplane was priceless.

It took all of thirty minuets to strap a years worth of my life to the dragon's back and all of my belongings fit spaciously into one basket and a my backpack. I contemplated all of the knickknacks, kitchen items, bath products and various sundry items that made up my daily life back home. I began to wonder what, if anything, I would have taken with me from there if I'd known how it would all turn out. My mood was thoughtful as we returned to the castle as I pondered the differences between my old life and my current one as Ah-Un landed in the courtyard and I unpacked my things tuning out Jaken's protests against helping. I had learned early in my association with the toad that he never did anything without threat of physical harm, and I did not care enough to take that rout. _Beyond things like shampoo and basic first aid supplies, I can't think of anything I've really longed for. Or anyone._

The idea hit me suddenly that in the span of a year I had resigned myself to my new life completely, and had never really looked back once in regret or dismay. I continued my internal inspection has I trudged down the hallways leading to my room. What did I really miss of my old life? _Jane, Lizzy, Matt_…Thinking of my siblings made me miss them, but I still didn't feel an overwhelming longing to return to my former life. I stopped within feet of my door stared at the floor thinking of my family, my past, and waiting for homesickness or nostalgia to over come me but only felt guilt when I could not summon them and wondered if I was some how defective.

With a sigh I made a step to my door and walked into something solid. "Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed as my thought-glazed eyes focused again on the pattern of an all to familiar breastplate and followed it up to center on Sesshomaru's slightly amused face. "If you make a habit of doing that its no wonder Jaken has such a poor attitude." I grumbled in lieu of an apology or greeting."

"You should pay attention to where you are going instead of the thoughts in your head, and learn some respect."

I ground my teeth on the flippant remark that was threatening to jump past them and angrily met my host's gaze, "I apologize for my thoughtlessness; I am accustomed to spending much of my time alone and find it difficult to adjust to your officious ways."

"Your apology does not sound sincere."

"Good, I had no intention of being sincere, just polite. Now, if you will excuse me the weight of these items are becoming tiresome." I responded pertly as I moved to push past him down the hall, and was surprised when he stepped aside and allowed me to enter my room.

"Rin is awake and wishes to see you." He said from behind me.

"Thank you, I'll go to her as soon as I change." Without waiting for a reply I slid the wood and paper door shut and for the first time in a year missed something of home: steal reinforced doors with dead bolts.

My obtrusive host was not in attendance when I finally returned to Rin's room in clean dark olive green kimono splashed with a brown rice grass pattern, instead I was greeted by the cheerful sight of Rin braiding flowers into jewelry. "How are you feeling, Hotaru?"

"Donella-sama! I am feeling much better, but my wound aches." I placed the bandages I carried on the bed next to her as I lowered myself to a sitting position.

"Well let's take a look and see if we can't make it feel a bit better." I said gently beginning to unwrap the bandage to reveal the scabbing stitches. Going to the water basin I found it full, and an iron teapot and a basin resting next to it. _It seems my mortar will finally get a break. _I thought, for once grateful to my charges master. Filling the pot I places it near the fire only long enough to make the water hot and then poured the water over my bar of soap into the basin and returned the pot to the fire to boil as I cleaned Rin's wound.

Using a mixture of the antibiotic ointment and a lemon balm salve to help numb the wound I rewrapped Rin's side and helped her lay back on the bed. Then I prepared her tea and without protesting, she drank it down devoid of my help. Pillowing her head in my lap I leaned against the wall and with no other means of entertainment I began to tell her a story.

"Dionysius was a king who ruled over a land called Syracuse. He was such a cruel and malevolent ruler that he earned the label of tyrant. To all appearances he was very rich and comfortable, he had all the things money could buy, sumptuous cloths, jewels enough to cover all the walls in his immense palace with a pile left over, and the delectable foods that any mortal has ever tasted. He even had people who followed him around and told him how wonderful he was to inflate his ego. One of these flatterers was a man named Damocles.

Unlike the others though, Damocles mocked the king about his soft and pompous lifestyle and one day Dionysius turned to Damocles and said, "If you think my life is so easy, why do you not live it for one day?"

Damocles readily agreed, eager to live the life of a king for one day and so Dionysius ordered everything to be prepared for Damocles to experience what life as Dionysius was like. Damocles was enjoying himself immensely enjoying the cloths, the food, the gold and the women of the court, until he tipped head back at dinner to get the very last drop of the delicious wine from his cup. Then he noticed, suspended from the ceiling by a single horsehair, and only a breath from his head there was a great, sharp sword.

This, the tyrant explained to Damocles, was what life as ruler was really like. Never knowing when something tragic or some one more powerful would come and take it all away. Damocles became terrified and quickly revising his idea of what made up a good life, and fled back to his hut and to his poorer, but safer life."

"I don't think that I want to be a king" Rin sleepily mumbled into my lap.

I petted her head and said, "Neither would I," and I kissed her forehead before gently placing her onto her pillow and rising to my feet. In doing so I glance at the door to the garden and saw the silhouette of a man standing outside. _I wonder how often he listened to the other stories I told her._ I thought, and decided to take the long way to my room instead of destroying my peaceful night with another confrontation with Sesshomaru.

As I drifted off into my own slumber a random thought crossed my mind, _where did Rin get the flowers?_

The next week fell into an awkward routine of caring for Rin and avoiding her master. Ironically enough my one true companion in this was Jaken since it appeared that his master loathed his presences even more than I did. So I took to sitting in the garden with Jaken and encouraging him to tell me stories of his life and his master's exploits as I sewed, knitted, wrote in my journals or even read my one book, _The Collected works of Edgar Allan Poe_. It was big book to hike with, when I had been working in the field my colleagues mocked me for carrying such a heavy pack, but it had turned out to be a pricelessly good hardship to endure. Jaken did not care how I busied myself as long as I made some small noise of acknowledgment to his story periodically and sat still long enough for him to tell them. I often carried Rin out into the garden so she could join us and play with the early spring flowers, and night I told her more stories or sang songs to her, many of which she insisted on learning.

Eventually she was able to walk about on her own, I removed the stitched and all that morning I actually looked for her master to tell him the good news, but even Jaken did not know where he could be found.

It wasn't until that night after I was done tucking Rin in and reading her The Tell Tale Heart, that I saw his familiar silhouette at the garden door. E_ver night he's there, I wonder why._ Seeing my chance to speak to him I went to the door as the shadow began to recede. "Please wait." I said as I slid the door open. He stood in the garden, he didn't seem to be discomfited in the least by being found eavesdropping.

Gently I closed the door behind me and cautiously approached him. "Rin should be able to travel now, if it is on Ah-Un's back and not for long stretches. Though her wound will still need to be watched closely and making sure she has a very soft place, warm to sleep ant night would be a good idea."

He looked at me contemplatively for several moments before replying, "That is good, you may return to you hovel in the morning." He turned to leave and I sat on the garden bench.

"I won't ever go back there again, but I will leave in the morning. Thank you for giving me enough time to say good bye to her." He stopped his retreat and looked at me again.

"Surely you do not intend to occupy a house in that ruined village."

I chuckled darkly at the idea of my living in a burned out village surrounded by the rotting corpses of the dead and ghosts. My morbid vision of it had me hanging laundry in the sunlight, humming as I step over the blacksmith's body to get more cloths pins. "No, that's a little too Poe for me. I'm going to follow the road south; historically speaking there should be a village a few hundred miles down that way. Though historically speaking this castle doesn't actually exist…" I sighed, "My options are finite and the village is my best one, considering the circumstance, but I probably won't be back this way again. I didn't get to say good-bye to anyone when I fell down that hole, and I'll never see them again… It seems important that I at least say goodbye to Rin, since it's unlikely I'll ever see her again." My verbosity embarrassed me, but he continued to watch me after I'd finished and I realized he was probably waiting for me to leave him alone in the garden, "I'm sorry, how rude if me I'll leave."

Yet when I reached door he spoke, "You will stay and accompany us when we leave."

I was shocked, "Thank you, but no, Rin doesn't need me anymore and I've already abused your patience and generosity enough. You allowed me a place in your home to rest after I fell here. Since then you have graciously ignored my rude words, poor manners and my audacious behavior on several occasions. I no longer serve a purpose here. I refuse to become a burned and I cannot permit myself to be any further in your debt."

"It is not my home." The bald statement was not really a response to my statement and confused me.

"Excuse me?"

"This castle was merely a safe place for Jaken and Rin to rest while I searched the surrounding area, this is not my home."

"Oh." I said dully.

"Jaken was right, you are stupid. You will accompany us as far as the nearest human village, it will take you months to reach one on your own and I will not be able to tolerate Rin's worrisome behavior if I sanction you making the journey alone."

I recalled Rin's terrified reaction to my absents after the bandit attack and sigh, "Arguing with you would be a waste of my time I suppose?"

"Indeed."

"Fine," and with that I entered my room and went to bed. The conversation with the demon lord whirled in my mind for hours before I finally managed to fall asleep. _If this isn't his place, why did he say the Togakushisgouma was his? And why in the world would he take the time to cultivate one here if he was just going to leave it? What an incredibly odd man, _it was my last thought before Morphius claimed me.

_**Author's note: It has been suggested that I need to interject a Sesshomaru POV here somewhere, any thoughts from the readers? Are there any readers to have thoughts? **_

**_I think Hotaru means firefly and it sounded like a cute pet name for Rin._**


	3. Pieces of Your Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's, "Me and Charlie Talking" is a song by Miranda Lambert I don't own it either, I barely own a beat to hell Dodge. Takahashi Rumiko, Miranda: I don't think the van is worth fighting over...

The Botanist and the Beast

Chapter 3: Pieces of Your Heart

_Dear Alice,_

_You missed our last croquette game. I have enclosed an envelope, postage paid, please mail me your head, and I'll see you next month._

_-The Queen of Hearts_

Traveling in the feudal era is slow going, even with Ah-Un, it was nothing more than a protracted march from one place to the next and I was self conscious of everything. In the field researchers don't have the luxury of a toilet often, and so I was used to making due in the woods, but knowing that I was traveling with a Inu-yokai who's sense of smell was probably twenty times better than mine made be nervous and I longed for the unembarrassed and practiced ease in which Rin settled into daily life on the road.

The first night out I hung back, watching what was obviously a routine with the four companions. (Though having two heads I counted Ah-Un as one entity.) Jaken unsaddled Ah-Un and lowered the beast's pack to the ground. Rin gathered firewood and then Jaken easily started a fire with a flame from his staff. Ah-Un drew near them and sat the three travelers formed a circle around the fire and Rin and Jaken settled into a comfortable banter as Rin drew some roots, berries and mushrooms she had gathered along the train from her kimono and began to assemble them into a meal. Sesshomaru sat apart from the group eyes drooped staring at nothing as he leaned against his tree and I marveled that he managed to make the pose appear regal.

I had been sitting away from the group, lingering at the edge of the clearing. Until I realized Rin was going to eat her foraged meal cold and then I approached them pulling a pot from Ah-Un's pack. Moving to the fire I brought forth a sack of rice, some herbs from my medicine bag and a dried fish I had salvaged from the village. Pouring the remaining water from my canteen into the pot I began to cook and moments later an enticing aroma soon filled the clearing. Even Jaken eyed the pot with greedy interest. For the fist time since we had left the castle I spoke, "Rin may I please have your mushrooms and roots for the stew?" she nodded eagerly and began to prattle about how delicious my cooking always was and about various food items that can be found in the direction we where headed.

Putting a content smile on my features I tuned her out and continued my task until the rice was cooked and the broth was thick. I went to Ah-Un's pack again and retrieved three bowls and chopsticks. Spooning equal portions into each I offered the first to Rin and the second to Jaken. Suddenly, it was as if we where sharing a meal in my little hut, and nothing had ever happened. Rin and Jaken bantered back and forth, Jaken complained that his portion was smaller and the food was horrible as he devoured every morsel and I argued with him as Rin defended my cooking and berated the toad for his inconsiderate behavior.

After, Rin leaned lazily against Ah-Un's side and Jaken sat cross-legged, his arms folded staring into the fire; the two-headed staff balanced in the crook of his arm. I gathered the dishes, kettle, water bottles and a change of cloths from Ah-Un's bundle. I strode to the river, not sparing a glance from the path at the thoughtful Yokai as I passed. _If everyone else is ignoring him then so shall I, after all they know him best._

The water was frigid. I filled the kettle and my water bottles. Then I bathed and dress quickly before hurriedly washing the dishes and returning to the group. Setting the kettle to boil I put the other items away and noticed that both Rin and Jaken where drifting to sleep. When the water boiled I made tea, recovered my medicine bag and with her tea in hand I went to Rin's side.

"Rin," I said softly, shaking the dozing child awake, "I need to look and your wound dear, and you need to drink your tea." She nodded sleepily taking the tea from me and drinking it down as I opened the front of her kimono and gently pealed back the bandages.

The wound was heeling more quickly than I was used to and I was pleased at how well it looked. "You are going to have quite an interesting scar to explain to your husband some day, Hotaru." I said as I methodically cleaned and redressed the injury. Rin giggled.

"I'm never going to get married Donella-sama." She said cheerfully.

"Never say never, dear heart, fate has a way of turning your life upside down, and love is a flower that can blossom in even the harshest of environments." I said with a conviction that I did not feel closing her kimono and laying her back against Ah-Un and covering her with a blanket.

"Donella-sama, what's love like? Have you ever been in love?" _The child goes for the jugular doesn't she?_ I thought about her question for a while before answering.

"Love and death are the only things that can stretch through the length of eternity. You can love many people, and each one takes a piece of your heart with them wherever they go." I sighed, "I loved a man once, he was proud and strong, and now he's dead and I'm, he took that piece of my heart with him to the grave and I'm still learning how to live without it…" I trailed off sadly as I fought my melancholy. "You can never get those pieces of you heart back. When love is over it can leave you stronger and weaker, but I know I would do it again if I could." I finished and the child peeked up at me with thoughtful, sleepy eyes.

"Why would you want to hurt yourself again?" I smiled.

"Because, even though it hurts sometimes, and I miss him a lot, I'm better because I loved him and I have a lot of happy memories."

"What was he like, the man you loved." I chuckled leaning back against the dragon and slipping under the blanket next to her. "Adrian." I breathed the name like a pray thinking back to his quiet speech and soft smile. "Adrian was always trying to defend people who where too stupid or too weak to do it for themselves. He used to take me to rallies and fundraisers for all these causes no one cared about. He spent his holidays giving coats and food to the homeless while the rest of us where at parties. He didn't talk much, but when he did it was always well said and carried a lot of importance. People admired him and even the ones he fought respected him. He worked hard to make me less cynical and more caring. Whenever he was around I felt like the whole world was a better place. He had so much hope and faith in the goodness of others it was infectious." I paused thoughtfully sorting through my memories of that brief and happy time, working past the grief and anger I continued, "His one failing was that when he decided a path was the right one he would give everything he had to see its end even if he was the only one who believed in it. We argued a lot about his need to save those who didn't want saving but he made me think about how fragile and hard life is for everyone, and he convinced me that when we can, we should help."

"He sounds very kind." Rin mumbled into my side and I wrapped my arm around her and closed my tired eyes.

"Oh he was very kind, and smart and incredibly foolish." I whispered.

"What happened to him?" _So persistent, child you don't realize how much that question hurts._

"He died, a long time ago." The pain in my voice was raw, even to my own ears, and being the insightful child she was Rin said, "Donella-sama, please sing me a song," and so I sang 'Me and Charlie Talking' and thought of my past as the child at my side drifted to sleep, and eventually, I went there too.

_**Author's Note: I don't really like this chapter, but I needed to transition… Any suggestions about improvements are welcome.**_


	4. Bad Frog, No Stick

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's, "Little Orphan Annie" belongs to Harold Grey. I don't own it either; I barely own a beat to hell Dodge. Takahashi Rumiko, Mr. Grey: The van needs new tires.

The Botanist and the Beast

Chapter 4: Bad Frog, No Stick

_Dear Alice,_

_Have you found the moral yet?_

_-The Duchess _

I really don't understand why there are so many fairy tales about the feudal era, the middle ages or anytime that doesn't have trains, planes or automobiles. After the first week we had settled into a fairly regular routine. Jaken, Rin and I argued, told stories, sang songs and played inane word games Rin made up to pass the time while we traveled. Sometimes I would pause to show Rin an herb or plant along the way, and as I gathered pieces of them I told her of their medicinal qualities and she would reveal her knowledge of edible roots, fungi and bugs. Occasionally Jaken would interject some knowledge about local fauna or signs of other yokai. Patience was not something the toad possessed in any great amount and I was surprised at those moments to see him calmly and pridefully answer all the questions Rin put to him on the subject.

I was not really surprised at the frequency in which Sesshomaru left our little band, or the protracted lengths he was away. Despite his haughty manner and indifferent mien I had the distinct feeling that he did not feel completely comfortable in the group and preferred his solitude. _Like Aunt Cora's Doberman, always restlessly patrolling the yard or the room, looking for some danger. Wary, and happy to be where he was but never content. _

Sometimes he would come back smelling like blood. Despite his impeccably kept appearance, even my human nose could recognize the metallic scent. No one remarked upon it so I too kept my council, but I could not help but feel a little less at ease in his presence and I watched him warily until the smell faded. Some times he would give us warning of his departure, "Jaken wait here, guard Rin and the girl," was all we would say and then he would be gone. Like a shadow in the night, and the party would dutifully settle in to wait for is return. Sometimes we would be away for days others hours. Sometimes he would just be gone and we would continue on if he didn't show by the morning of the third day we would just stay where we'd camp and wait for him to find us.

It irked me to know that we where sitting around on our thumbs while he was off doing God knows what. I loathed the delay, even though I had no particular place to be, but I did not argue when Jaken agreed to wait, it seemed petty and pointless. My opposition would not change his mind. Though I never actually tried arguing, it was just one of those inborn things you know with an unshakable certainty, like a child being afraid of the dark, instinctual and wise.

Sometimes Jaken would ask him where he'd been, especially if we stayed camped for more than a week, but he never received an answer. The longer his master was gone the more nervous, fretful and crabby Jaken became, often time lashing out at Rin. She took it all in stride and so I let the verbal assaults and miss aimed swings go un-remarked upon as Rin gave as good as she got and spent much of her time provoking the little kappa. They whole routine seemed to be part of their normal interaction, until he actually hit her and I lost my temper.

On foot my map of Japan had become horribly confused. The only thing I new for certain was that we where west of Mt. Yari, but how far north or south we had drifted from that landmark was anyone's guess or even how far west we had managed to travel, since there was no way to judge the miles. We had been camped for almost two weeks by a river I could not name. Rin had been catching fish and exuberantly splashing the toad who stubbornly refused to leave his rock by the river as he alternated yelling at the girl and grumbling worriedly about their master under his breath. With her wounds healed Rin behaved like any young girl swimming as plashing in the water. When she had finally caught a fish she hurried to the bank to show me.

"Donella-sama look dinner!" She called cheerfully as she struggled to the shore, but before she made it to me she fell back into the river near Jaken's post. The fish flew out of her hands as she struggled to grab hold of Jaken's rock. She regained her footing and smiled cheerfully up at me. The flopping fish, however, had landed in Jaken's lap and the toad was screaming bloody murder and brandishing his staff at Rin has he threw the fish from him. I chuckled to myself at the whole soggy scene until I heard an audible knocking sound and Rin cried out as the staff connected with her head.

"Serves you right, baka ningen, for making me stink like a fish market." He continued to rail at her, but I'd stopped listening. I think his self-justified tone that did it, or maybe it was just camp fever, but I was furious. Snatching the staff from his frenzied grasp I said not a word as I proceeded to pummel him ruthlessly with it. Rin watched in stunned amazement as I throttled Jaken mercilessly. She seemed ready to protest my abuse of the yokai, but she did not speak.

Jaken, on the other hand, wailed loudly in protest, but I continued to beat the now cowering kappa until my rage was spent. Finally, I gave him one last kick, and with the staff tucked securely in my arm, I walked calmly back to Ah-un, retrieved my book and sat down to read. Rin whispering remarks to Jaken carried to me as I blindly stared at the page, "Master Jaken, you made her very angry. I don't think you should try hitting me again."

"Shut up, Rin." He replied, as he gingerly touched a particularly large bump forming on his head and glared at me with angry apprehension. Sesshomaru's voice was a shock. He had not spoken much in our time on the road as it was, but after such a protracted absence it struck me like a bucket of ice water after a sauna. Mechanically my whole body stiffened and turned in the direction of the voice as if sensing mortal danger, "Jaken." His tone was a crisp warning, but the kappa was so overcome with relief at seeing his master he was completely unaware of the underlying threat as he flung himself to his master.

"Sesshomaru-sama, where have you been?" He shrieked as he went into an extended diatribe of worries and accusation pertaining to his masters absents, I heard my name but I ignored it, pretending to return to my book in disinterest, the staff two-headed securely resting in my lap. Rin laughed happily and danced around the clearing in her delight. I continued to studiously ignore the pandemonium his return always incited from my companions, but I felt his eyes on me and I fought to suppress a shiver.

"Damare, Jaken, we are leaving," was all he said as he turned and strode westward, and away from us. Rin had warned me the first time he left that we should remain packed during daylight hours incase he returned and we needed to leave quickly. His boorish conduct annoyed me. After several such instances I had become accustomed to the abrupt manner, but familiarity did not breed acceptance. I stood slowly the staff held firmly in my left hand as I returned my book to Ah-Un's pack and took his lead. Jaken stood in my path angrily and I looked down on him coolly as we faced off.

"I want my staff back, woman." He demanded holding his hand out to me. I continued to eye him, his master and Rin both stopped to watch the little drama unfold and Ah-un glared from behind my shoulder at Jaken. _Him I can handle, as long has his master stays out of it._ I thought warily. I stoically resisting the urge to break eye contact with the toad and glance in Sesshomaru's direction. _Stare him down or you'll never hear the end of it._ I schooled myself as Jaken puffed up before me.

"How exactly do you propose to accomplish that?" My voice was hard as steel in my ears.

"I am a great Yokai lord, leader of my people, and you have stolen something that was placed in my care by Sesshomaru-dono himself and I demand it's return."

Using a trick I'd learned by watching far too much star trek, I raised one eyebrow ironically, _Thank you Mr. Spock_, patiently I retorted, "It seems to me that if it was so easy taken from you, you are a poor guardian for something so valuable. I doubt it was intended to be used to pummel innocent children, but that is beside the point. You obviously misunderstood my question so I'll rephrase it: What do you plan on doing to get the staff back?" Jaken is a petty bully, and petty bullies do not like to be put on display.

I was aware, as I saw him clench his fists in furry, that my tactic could back fire and cause him to not only do something stupid and rash, but I could also earn myself a serious enemy, _an enemy who would eventually have a fire breathing staff back under his control _I thought cautiously as I waited for the toad to make his move.

He leaped at my left hand intent on prying the staff from my grip; gratefully it was the action I was hoping for. I sidestepped to my right as the angry kappa flew past me and into a tree, knocking himself on the head. I went to him as he held his sore skull gingerly, and crouched down so my eyes could meet his wrathful glare. I offered him the staff. Fury was replaced by wary surprise and he did not reach for it, suspecting a trap. My voice was gentle when I spoke, "My grandmother was a very smart woman. She used to tell me that bullies are ninety percent bluster and ten percent brute stupidity. The strong should defend the weak, no matter how foolish they are, because it is something the weak cannot do. You make yourself smaller every time you forget that, but even small men can learn to be noble." I pressed the staff into his hands and pulled him to his feet. Turning from him I retrieved Ah-Un's reins and looked towards our leader inquiringly.

A look crossed the granite features of Sesshomaru's face for a moment, it was almost curiosity or maybe admiration, but it was to short lived to be anything more than my imagination. He whirled away and marched off into the west. Rin laughing ran forward, leisurely I followed, and lost in his own thoughts, Jaken took up the rear, his staff clutched close to his chest.

That night, after our meager meal had been consumed I sat writing in my journal by firelight. Jaken sulked across from me and stared blankly into the fire and Rin sang a nonsensical song to Ah-Un while she groomed the dragons' mane. Our impassive leader was hidden in the shadows somewhere behind them, _Ah, the mundane routine of it all._ Throughout our first few weeks on the road, the grueling task of marching for hours without end had made me too tired to do much more than minimal domestic tasks and I had given up practicing the katas I had learned completely.

Slowly, as my body adjusted to the demands of travel, I found myself itching to take the routine up again. I am not used to being helpless. In LA not being helpless meant a concealed weapon's permit, weekends at the gun range and staying off the bus after dark. In the feudal era it meant keep your body strong, get a sword, know how to make someone bleed, and don't hesitate. So I learned and I practiced, but I didn't kid myself, against a trained killer I expected to do nothing more than leave him with a few deep cuts before watching my own blood feed the grass. That knowledge, however, didn't discourage me from wanting to make those cuts.

So, during those weeks Sesshomaru had been away I'd added the katas to my schedule. When dinner had settled I would tie my sword to my hip, and take the dishes and my evening things to the river and practice before taking my bath and the washing dishware. Occasionally Rin would follow me, and I would show her how to perform a few of the simple unarmed moves. Yet, the child was more interested in watching than learning and I determined her sporadic presence probably had more to do with avoiding Jaken than watching me.

That night as Jaken was still angry with me, and conversation with his master pointless, I determined to make use of my time by practicing. This decided, I carefully repacked my journal and began to gather my things for the evening, including my sword. Jaken did not look up from his sulky contemplation of the fire as I moved to leave the clearing but Rin paused in her ministrations to ask, "Donella-sama, would you tell me a story when you get back?"

"I don't know, can you tell me the name and uses of four of those herbs I showed you?" I challenged playfully, She rattled six off easily and gave me an accomplished grin as I smiled warmly at her.

"Such studiousness! You have earned a very special story, to be sure, Hotaru." I beeped her nose as I gathered my pack and strode to the river, grateful that I did not have to pass the shadows where Sesshomaru lurked. The daiyokai and I had not spoken directly to each other since leaving the castle, he told Jaken to guard Rin and the girl, I asked about their master, or was told of him and we ignored each other as best we could. For my part that meant avoiding as much contact with him has possible, and his generally unpleasant manner helped tremendously.

An hour after I had left camp, avoidance was made impossible as I finished my practice and moved to sheath my sword, "You're defense is slow, and when you attack you extend yourself to far, leaving your left exposed." His voice made me jump out of my skin and a yelp of surprise escaped my lips. I unconsciously spun, sword still drawn to the origin of the sound. "Is it your intent to challenge me, ningen?" He asked ominously as he stepped into the moonlight.

Realizing my danger I quickly I lowered my sword and allowed my head to bend slightly in difference, "No, Sesshomaru-sama, forgive me," _what the hell does he think he's doing now?_ I struggled to remain apologetic and soft-spoken, ignoring the anger I felt at the intrusion, "Please. You startled me." I sheathed my sword in one smooth motion, as Kazuo had taught me, and then I lifted my head trying not to glare at him.

Careful to avoid making eye contact I waited for him to speak or leave. _The last thing I need to do is try to stare a foreign dog demon down after brandishing a weapon at him. Why is he here?_ I struggled to find the tassel on his armor fascinating as I waited, like a child, for my elder to speak.

"Jaken is quite angry with you." Glaciers held more warmth than his voice; it conflicted with the baritone silkiness of it. I tried not to giggle, as the absurd image of him singing Barry White's _'Standing in the Shadows of Love' _popped into my head, but I could not keep a small smile from my face.

"Jaken is quite angry with existence, I try not to take it personally." My voice held my suppressed laughter and I prayed he wouldn't take offense. _What offends an Inu-diayokai anyway? Sorry, Fluffy no Kibbles-N-Bits tonight? _I suppressed another bout of hilarity and scolded myself; _he could rip my head off wih out even shifting that pretty tassel, and you're laughing at him?! Knock it off!_ But stress makes me nervous and I deal with nervousness with sarcasm; it was a struggle to control myself.

"Indeed." He paused and I prayed he was done and would leave, but the gods are not that kind to me. "Draw your sword." _And get myself killed?! _His demand startled me.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you hard of hearing as well as stupid? I told you to draw your sword, ningen." I balled my hands into fists at my side, fighting to hold back my mounting frustration.

Anger pushed back my fear and I glared up into his face. "You must think me incredibly stupid or mad! I would never willingly pull a sword on you! I'm incredibly fond of breathing and have no wish to stop anytime soon." He chuckled at that, and the sound was surprisingly pleasant, but I was not given a chance to contemplate this new discovery long. A whoosh of air to my left was my only warning; intuitively I pulled my sword and whirled to meet the threat. He stood, calmly, as still as a statue, an inch from the tip of my weapon, and the look of surprise on his face was astounding to me. It was short lived; however as I exploded, "What the hell are you doing!" I stumbled back from him, my sword still extended and he allowed me to retreat.

"Your instincts are at least good. I would not have expected that, you move quickly, for a ningen." He said, his voice betraying nothing about the meaning of his words. _That almost sounded like a compliment,_ anger and frustration where still boiling inside me and my heart was threatening to pound right out of my chest. I lowered my sword; I would have dropped it if I could have convinced my hand to release its death grip on the hilt.

"I am very aware of my inadequacies, thank you. I would prefer a colt .45 and a speed loader but unfortunately they don't let you take those on diplomatic scientific exchanges. It's not like I was informed I'd be dropped like a sack of potatoes into a psychedelic, acrimonious production of Oz." His continued silence actually helped to dissipate my rage, _after all you can't stay angry at a statue, _I thought and sighed, "Never mind, though Jaken makes a great Lion, you are a poor Toto."

"What is a Toe Toe?" He asked and at that I did giggle. _Oh great, I laugh at him and then I say_ '_He's the heroin's pet dog', yep and then he kills me…_

"I'm sorry. I don't think I want to answer that, though Toto is a noble character in the story of Oz, my poor attempt at a description would be most unflattering without explaining the story, and it is a long one."

"Hmm." He responded and for several moments we stood looking at each other in silence. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind, they where mostly confused theories on why was there, and all where probably wrong. Shortly he spoke again, "Your technique is flawed; in a real battle you would be killed quickly."

I wanted to sit, but it would have been harder to look up at him and talk, and my pride wouldn't allow the indignity of it. _If he kills me, at least I died on my feet; _the thought brought a rueful smile to my lips. My anger was completely gone, leaving me with a sad lost feeling. " I know I'm out of my league here. I can only imagine what you must be thinking, but I don't really care enough to try. The fact is I'm unaccustomed to being helpless; defeat is not in my nature. It was very clear back when Rin was wounded that if you had not intervened I would have only prolonged my inevitable death, but this," I shook the sword in my hand, "is my only means of defense, and I will do what I can with the tools available for as long as I can."

His new position in the clearing made the moonlight shine on his marble features his hair glowed, granting him an even more unearthly radiance, _like an angel, though not a good angel, or a malevolent sidhe._ "If you know that you will not win, why fight?"

I gave him a genuine smile at that, "I come from a long line of fighters, and we are stubborn people. If we cannot fight to win, we will fight to maim and leave our mark on our enemies, so that we will be remembered even in their stories as they explain the scars to their babes." _Grandma O'Conghaile would be proud of me, quoting her twice in one day,_ I thought as I waited for him to respond.

"Rin," he said and I did not have time to be confused by it as the little imp popped from a nearby bush and answered cheerfully.

"Yes Sesshomaru-sama?" She portrayed no embarrassment or apprehension at being caught eaves dropping.

"Why are you here."

"Donella-sama was late, Rin came looking for her, her practice and bath never take this long, Sesshomaru-sama. Rin didn't know you where here."

"Indeed." He said and wordlessly he moved back towards the camp leaving the Rin and I alone in the clearing. Confusion made me numb as I stared at his receding back silently.

"Donella-sama, are you finished yet?" Rin asked eagerly, her voice snapped me out of my fugue and I turned to her.

"I still have to wash the dishes and bathe." I remarked and she bounded into the clearing and gathered the dishes from their resting place.

"I'll wash the dishes down stream while you bathe and it will go faster then!" She announced eagerly and rushed away without waiting for a reply. _No help for it I suppose, he is always going to be creepy weird, and rude and…Pretty, _my thoughts wandered away from the majestic memory of him in the clearing, my sword at his chest the moonlight reflecting off of his hair, and the blade of my weapon. I shivered as I entered the cool water and scrubbed quickly.

I washed my kimono thoroughly before putting on a fresh yukata and returning to camp. Rin was already there snuggled into her mountain of blankets at Ah-Un's side and the dinner things where packed away. I could not see Sesshomaru, but somehow I could sense him in the shadows to my right; just beyond the glow of the fire. Jaken was nowhere to be seen, and I returned Rin's happy giggle at my arrival with a smile as I hung my kimono on a tree near the fire.

"I swear, by the time this journey is over, everything I own is going to smell like soil and wood smoke." I remarked to no one in particular.

Rin giggled again, "Well if you only washed and changed your cloths when they where dirty instead of every night, then you could put flowers in your pack and make them smell nicer."

I went to Ah-un and folded myself into the blankets at Rin's side, "But my dear, even after an easy day in my cloths they are dirty and they smell, and I don't find it pleasant, so I'll live with the wood smoke." A quiet grunt came from the darkness across the clearing and I wondered, _Approval or derision?_ But there was no way to tell either way and so I turned my thoughts to telling Rin a story. I had originally planned on telling her a story about little Orphan Annie, but the events of the day had drawn my mind to my grandmother and her stories and so I told her this one,

"Ireland, the land my people come from, is a bit like this one. It is a island inhabited by humans, and many different spirits, like your yokais, onis, kappas and the like, but different. They all are descendants of the goddess Danu and are called the Tuatha De Danann. All of Danu's children have luminous eyes, pointed ears and sharp teeth. All the great sidhe are beautiful beyond human understanding, but there are many different kinds of sidhe. Like the Great Aes sidhi, the light sidhe; haughty, lords of all the Tuatha De Danann hosts, they are Danu's favorite children. Gorgeous creatures of fickle wants, the Aes sidhi often lure pretty mortals to them for one night of pleasure that means death to the fragile human creatures.

"Then there are the lesser Spirits like the beautiful Leanan, who will enrapture a mortals mind and inspire them to produce great works of art, and then drive them to eternal madness. The Sluagh, which are stupid, ugly, creatures who sneak in from the west during the night and steal the souls of the unaware, the banshee who mourn the death and collect the souls of the great houses, and many others of lesser importance.

"My story involves a mortal who survived the Wild Hunt and two of Danu's greatest children the Cusith sidhe and Daoine sidhe.

"The Cusith are immense dogs who can look like any greater sidhe, but in their natural forms they have soft, flowing, green fur, powerful bodies, immense stamina, amazingly keen senses and are wickedly cunning hunters. Because of their color they blend well with the lush green grasses of the Irish countryside and they can run for years without food or rest to catch their prey.

"The Daoine are much like their light brothers in appearance, except where the Aes sidhi are golden, with bright yellow or white hair, shinning pale skin and eyes like the ocean, the Daoine are creatures of dark beauty their eyes and hair varying in earthly hues and their eyes are often golden brown, green or yellow. The Daoine do not involve themselves with mortals the way their brothers do, considering themselves above such foolishness. Instead they dedicate themselves to knowledge, preservation of nature and fighting the chaos that threatens the balance of the world.

"It happens now and again that the soul of a mortal that is gathered to the other world wishes for something more and so they challenge the Tuatha De Danann to the Wild Hunt. If the soul lasts from midnight to sunrise on the eve of a blue moon then the Tuatha De Danann are forced to grant it anything it asks. If, however, they are caught, the soul is turned into a stag, and the Tuatha De Danann feast, according to the laws of Danu the soul is then sent into the eternal darkness, never to return.

"A man named Donal, who's name means 'one who rules the world', son of Tiernan, the little lord," I whispered to the distinctions to Rin in a conspiratorial tone, though I know it carried. "Was one of these foolish men and on the eve of the blue moon the entirety of the Tuatha De Danann ran forth hunting the mortal soul, but Donal had listened to his grannies tales as a child and had learned a few tricks about the Tuatha De Danann. You see he lesser spirits are easily distracted by mortal lives and feel compelled to meddle, while the greater sidhe cannot smell anything if it crosses living water and so Donal ran all night to the settlement of his father's enemies and not pausing there, he ran through reaching the Danu River, and with what remained of his strength he managed to ford the great river.

"The lesser spirits stopped in the settlement and, forgetting their hunt, began to reek havoc on the Tiernan's enemies while the gretaer sidhe continued the chase, but when they reached the river they lost the scent of their prey and milled about in confusion. On the other side of the river Donal watched from his hiding place at the confused sidhe and laughed his delight and triumph. The Cusith's sensitive hearing caught the sound, but did not know what it was, he turned to his clever companion, Donella of the Daoine." At the sound of my name in the tale Rin gasped and I laughed. "Yes that's right, my name means Dark haired sidhe, and my clan name, O'Conghaile, means 'as fierce as the Cusith' this story is special because it is about my family and how we got that name."

"Oh Donella-sama what happened next?" She exclaimed in anxious expectation. I smiled at her before continuing my tale.

"Well, Uactaran the Cusith remarked to Donella that he heard the sound of laughter from across the water but it disturbed him because all the sidhe both light and dark where with them and the lesser spirits where still behind them in the village.

"Donella realized that the laughter must be that of their prey and she announced eagerly to the company of sidhe that the mortal had crossed the river. The Aes sidhi scoffed at her declaration, while her dark brethren sat to discuss the idea that a mortal could cross such a vast and powerful river after running such a great distance. As time passed and the predawn light began to appear, Donella fumed at her companions and Uactaran the Cusith itched to continue the chase. He turned to his friend and said, 'These others are all fools, and we shall lose to a mortal if we do not act. Quickly I will change my form and you may perch upon my back. Together we will ford this river and capture this impertinent creature.' Donella readily agreed and together they traversed the waters as true dawn began to touch the far horizon. They quickly cornered Donal and Uactaran moved in, eager to end his hunt, but the mortal had one last trick up his sleeve. Quickly he shoved a handful of Apocynum, known as dog's bane, into the beast's mouth and the great Cusith writhed in agony from the poison.

"Donella, enraged by her companions injury drew her saber of beatha. Now, the sword of life is a weapon meant only to be drawn in the defense of the balance and not to be sullied with mortal blood, to do so is to grant chaos a victory over his enemies. Yet not caring Donella charged Donal as the sun's rays touched the blade and made it shine like a star." I paused looking down at the child in my arms and noticed she was fast asleep I sighed and closed my eyes fully intending to stop my tale for the evening, but a voice banished the thought sharply from my mind.

"Finish your tale." My heartbeat quickened in fear and my eyes flew open as they focused on Sesshomaru's towering form above me, my mouth was suddenly dry and I struggled to speak around the cotton that was somehow lodged in my throat. Unselfconsciously, the Diayokai folded himself gracefully to a sitting position at my side and continued to watch me expectantly I hesitantly sat up a little and turned towards him.

"Well the sun had risen and Donal had won the challenge. By rights he could ask anything of the sidhe host, but the only sidhe present where Uactaran and Donella and both where beyond caring about pacts. As she charged forward intent on bloody vengeance for her fall comrade and Uacteran could not speak from the poison that coursed through his veins. Instead, realizing the great iniquity his companion was about to commit by killing a mortal with the saber of beatha, he used the last of his energy and leapt between her blade and the human. The sword pierced him through the chest and his blood rushed out into Donella's hand. A cry of rage and pain left her mouth and echoed through the sun-drenched hills and she crumpled to Uacteran's side, afraid to remove the sword from the lethal wound.

"The goddess Danu herself appeared then, drawn from her home in the heart of the world by her beloved child's painful keening and knowing instantly what had occurred she asked, 'Dear child, why do you cry?' and Donella answered through her grief, 'I have killed my love Uacteran and all for this mortal's greed.' The goddess gaze fell to the cowering, deceitful human and said, 'Donal, you who, not content to be the son of the little lord wished to rule the world, have killed Uacteran the greatest among the Cusith and brought grief to one of my guardians. Speak now, and tell me what do you wish to have from the Tuatha De Danann?'

"The feeble mortal stood and said, 'I wish to gain life, strength and the power of the world' the great goddess smiled at this and said, 'Your wish is granted, from this moment on you shall be granted another span of mortal life, and you will possess the world's power, as you guard it for me against those who would upset the balance. You and your line will be granted the strength of my servant Uacteran de Cusith who's blood you wear on your hands. Your children will bear the name O'Conghaile, they shall all share a measure of your power and be known as fierce warriors against chaos. I will take them to me as my own and when you pass away from this life, stupid mortal, your soul is forfeit to the darkness for your greed.' Donal could not argue against the goddess for she had granted him his wish, and he was the fool for letting his greed rule his judgment. Danu then turned to Donella who continued to weep over the body of Uacteran de Cusith.

" 'Donella de Daoine, why do you still mourn so?' and anger filled the Daoine sidhe's wretched eyes as she gazed upon the goddess saying, 'Why do you not grieve for the loss of your loyal servant, my lady? He died to save this human my killing blow, and a bad bargain it was indeed.' The goddess considered Donella's contemptuous words and said, 'So my servant, for your misdeed, this one suffered, what bargain would you accept to make it right?' Hope filled Donella's eyes and without hesitation she replied, 'I would give myself, body, mind and soul to undo this shameful deed.'"

" 'Then,' said the goddess, 'I will return his life to him, if you swear that for the remainder of Donal O'Conghaile's life you will be his faithful wife, helpmate in his task and mother to his children.' Donella agreed whole heartedly at that the goddess took the saber's hilt and withdrew it from the great dog's chest; slicing away the minions of death from his soul with one stroke. Those assembled, save the goddess, gaped as Uacteran breathed once more, and Donella realized her true punishment. She had held the power to save her love the whole time and was now cursed to marry the one she would have killed and bear him mortal children."

"And she did, eight strong sons and four brave daughters and she taught them all that though rage is powerful, it should be tempered with thought, for no battle is ever truly lost as long as you have breath to fight. And so the house O'Conghaile came to be a clan of fierce warriors destined to temper the just and moderate the malevolent. Keeping the world in balance for all time, even though Uacteran and Donella are long past and Danu will never rise again." His inscrutable gaze had never left my face as I related the end of my tale and I was tired of looking in his direction, I settled back into my blankets and closed my eyes, hoping he would leave.

"What does Uacteran mean?" I opened my eyes again and gave him a slightly annoyed look.

"It means superior, best, most important something of that nature Uacteran de Cusith is the greatest of great hounds."

"You said Uacteran and Donella are long past and Danu will never rise again what does that mean?" I sighed in exasperation.

"It's just a story, generations after Donal passed, Uacteran and Donella where killed at each others side defending Danu in the Great War in heaven where the goddess sacrificed herself to place a portion of the world's power in each living mortal. Setting those of the O'Conghaile blood to guide them and fight a never ending battle to maintain equity." He nodded and I closed my eyes, hope he would finally get the picture and leave me be.

"An eternal fight that cannot be won to keep the world in balance, it seems like a burdensome legacy." He remarked ponderously. I frowned, but did not open my eyes.

"It's just a granny story to make us proud of our family name and convince disobedient children to be more respectable. Hell my family hasn't lived in Ireland for three generations and my sister married a drunken used car salesman. We aren't the guardian type." I remarked crabbily and was relieved to feel the rush of air as he left me. I sought sleep, but I lay awake twitchily for a while half expecting him to return with more obtuse questions. When I finally drifted off, giant green dogs and swords that could bring people to life haunted me.

_**Author's Note: Ok, one, thank you Wandering Hitokiri and Tootsiepop254 for the wonderful replies, I was beginning to despair. **_

_**Two, I took a lot of liberties with the Gaelic, and my real Gran would be pissy about it, gratefully she hates using the computer and she's never gonna read this. **_

_**Finally three, no we aren't reliving the story and there will be no green dogs, final sacrifices or Gaelic/Japanese fairy tale crossovers. It's just a story, and it serves an entirely different purpose than foreshadowing, I SWEAR on my van.**_


	5. Bruised Ego, Tender Id

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. "You are My Sunshine" belongs to Jimmie Davis, Charles Mitchell and the entire state of Louisiana. "My Girl" Belongs to the Temptations, Smokey Robinson and Ronald White. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll because I've failed to mention it before. I own none of those things. I barely own that beat to hell Dodge and they seem lest interested in owning it than I do. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 5: Bruised Ego, Tender Id

_Dear Alice, _

_Remember your lessons! A dog is not mad. A dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad._

_- TheCheshire Cat_

One good thing about traveling the stoic and creepy Inu-yokai was his sense of smell. In the months we had been on the road we never got caught out in the open during a rainstorm. Though the sometimes cramped lodgings we were forced to deal with where wearisome. The only thing worse than Jaken, is Jaken cold and damp in a confined space.

"Are you sure these are all of the blankets, woman? I don't see why we cannot start a fire! How long will this wretched downpour continue? Move your foot, Rin, I need more space," and on it went in a whining diatribe of abuse for several hours. Rin and I where huddled with Ah-Un In the back of the cave under our blankets. The dragon's hide radiated a good deal of warmth and we where actually quite cozy, but every time Jaken moved to join us; both head of the dragon would face the belligerent toad with a menacing glare. Sesshomaru sat at the cave entrance, not far from us, but his unapproachable demeanor made the distance seem like miles.

I had been telling Rin an Irish tale about the War in Heaven where Donella and Uacteran died and Danu passed from the world. "What a sad story Donella-sama." Her tearful eyes looked up at me and I gave her a gentle smile.

"I thought so too, when my Gran narrated it to me, and you know what she told me?" Her sad gaze had become thoughtful and she shook her head. "She said that even being immortal is no guarantee against death. Life is hard and sad for everyone, and more so for immortals because they see more, live through more and have to continue on as the same people. While we have fresh lives and another turn of the wheel to look forward too, an immortal's soul goes directly to heaven and spend eternity there, all their lessons learned."

"Wow." She said and slipped into thoughtful silence as I looked for something else to occupy my time.

"Rin, hon, your closer to the pack, would you please see of you can get my journal for me?"

"Oh, Yes!" She replied with a happy, eager nod before jumping out of the blankets and turning to Ah-Un's pack. Moments later she returned with the prize in hand grinning gleefully. I thanked her as she passed it to me. But before my hand had touched it she let it go. I snatched at it and caught the battered leather book, but the photo sleeve I kept tucked into its pages fell with a loud, "SMACK," to the floor. Rin picked it up quickly and handed it to me. "Sorry." She said and her downcast mien making me eager to reassure her that she had done nothing wrong.

"No it's alright, see," I flipped my thumb over the five plastic photo pages making them shuffle. "The plastic protected them." I said cheerfully.

Her eyes widened as she looked down and the photos I held. Her hand came up and she pointed a finger at the first picture in the book. "Donella-sama, that girl looks just like you!" She said and I looked down at the photo of my family and I laughed. Settling back into the blankets I patted her spot next to me and she too crawled back into the enveloping warmth.

"That is me, Hotaru, and the man holding me is my brother Matthew. That girl to our right is my little sister Elizabeth and the one standing on the chair is our baby sister Jane."

"She doesn't look like a baby." Rin answered pensively and it made me smile.

"No, she's eighteen years old…" I trailed off thoughtfully she was eighteen when I'd left. Maintaining my journal was one of the only ways I managed to keep sane during those years. Every page was dutifully dated from the day I fell into the cave, and thus I marked the passage of time. The date on my journal for that day was August fifth, one year after the cave. "I guess she's actually nineteen now." I remarked bemusedly as I stared at the photo lost in thought. It had been taken during our last family trip to Ireland. We where all on the porch of the rented cottage; my brother Matt held me in his arms while I attempted to strike him with a book in my hand; Lizzy was on our right with a foam bat hitting him and Jane was perched on a chair behind Lizzy, pointing as she directed Uncle Pete to take the picture. Everyone was laughing and smiling at the camera. "We used to make a trip every year, a pilgrimage of sorts, back to the home country in Ireland with or parents and Gran, to see where the family came from and vacation by the sea. This photo is of our last trip before I came here."

"Your parents and you Gran aren't in this picture." Rin's inquisitive voice broke my reminiscence.

"Oh, Gran passed the year before, and dad and mom so no point in going after she was gone. Dad went to Chicago for a business meeting, and mother was afraid the wind and the sun would make her look old so she stayed at home." I laughed at that, "They weren't around much anyway and we had a lot of fun." She was obviously confused about my remark, but didn't say anything as I flipped to the next picture.

Adrian and I smiled back at the camera from a California beach next to our sand sculpture entry of a sea turtle. Sand covered our knees, hands and powdered his black hair. His blue eyes where laughing as he waved an orange, plastic shovel at me. My hand trailed the happy features of his face sadly.

"That's him isn't it? The boy you loved?" Rin asked quietly and I nodded. "Where are your cloths?" The surprise in her voice made me laugh. I suppose a man in a pair of swim trunks and a woman in a bikini would seem naked to a girl in the feudal era.

"We are in bathing suits, it's what everyone wears to go swimming in where I come from." She remained silent next to me as I flipped to the next photo. I stood Arms out stretched, long white dress and hair fluttered in the strong ocean wind and a dazzlingly sunset behind me. I looked like I might leap, wild and free from the jutting rock into glimmering Pacific Ocean below.

"Donella-sama! You look so beautiful!" Rin exclaimed her finger outlining my photographic self thoughtfully. I blushed.

"Matt took that photo, said like I looked like a roane returning to the sea."

"What's a roane, Donella-sama?"

"It's an seal sidhe that sheds its skin to take a human shape and dance on shore, or to find a human mate, if you hide the raone's skin from them, they are bond to stay with you until they find it again." He made a wordless sound of wonder before I flipped to the last photo.

My Granny O'Conghaile returned my smile from a rocking chair. She looked so prim in her sensible tweed dress, with her white hair in a tight bun, holding the family crest for the camera, I stood behind her, an awkward girl of seventeen, in a matching outfit trying to look proud and somber. "Who is that lady and what is that?" Rin asked pointing to the image of the plaque.

"That's my grandmother O'Conghaile and I. That thing she's holding is the symbol of our family. It tells people who we are, and what our ancestors have done. See there in the middle are two crossed swords saying we are warriors and protectors. You can't see it in this picture but that blurry thing right there is a Cusith and the loops around it are called a sidhe knot. The red and purple of the shield tell people we are one of the great noble houses."

Her eyes widened as I said that and she looked at me with surprise in her face, "You are a Hime?" I laughed at that. Jaken had gone silent through the inventory of the photos, but was clearly attempting to see the pictures I held in my hand without being notice. I ignored his antics but sat the photo book on the ground near him and he quietly turned the pages.

"I'm not a princess, but a long time ago, when those things still mattered, my ancestors where kings, queens and princesses amount their people. Leading them to war and making the laws they all followed. There is even a story about a great grandmother who was such a fierce chief she refused to leave battle to give birth to her daughter and had the child right there among the blood of her fallen enemies and then strapped the infant to her back, continuing to fight until they had won the war." A scornful snort came from the mouth of the cave at that.

"You wish to say something, Sesshomaru-sama?" I called to the derisive figure silhouetted in the fading light. I did not expect him to answer, but he did as I took the lantern from Ah-Un's pack and struggled with the flint to get it lit.

"It is an absurd tale." His cold, condescending voice sounded bored. The lamp caught and I smiled sweetly in his direction as I settled back into my nest of blankets and Rin cuddle close, "It is absurd, but then so are many tales we tell about love, life and war, trying to make it all better than it is, and death more noble than it should be. A man kills another man for a cause and we call it just, good and right. Yet, the same act committed in a barroom, over a pint of beer occurs or a woman and we call it murder."

"Ningen are stupid." His dismissiveness annoyed me.

"Do you expect me to believe you've never tried to justify killing someone in you own mind? You have never wanted to kill someone that, beyond a prejudice you held in your heart, deserved to live?" My words struck a cord, and a low growl came from his direction causing my heart to leap in fear.

"I expect you to remember your place. Don't presume to know what I think, ningen, we are not the same." The angry warning in his tone made Rin gripped my hand and I put my arm around her reassuringly.

"Please forgive me, Sesshomaru-sama, if that is the impression my words have conveyed. I would not willingly evoke the notion of similarities between us. Please, believe me when I say that I personally cannot think of one such example." My tone was a match for any of his sardonically arctic remarks and I was proud that I did not let the terror in me show, though he could probably hear the cacophony of my hammering heart from a mile away. He didn't respond and after a while my heart rate returned too normal. The only thing to be heard was the pounding rain, and the breathing of my comrades. Eventually I withdrew my pencil from the spine of my journal and set to writing.

Hours later, the rain stopped. I looked up from my journal at the sudden change in background noise to find Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un where all fast asleep and Sesshomaru gone from the cave entrance. Careful not to wake Rin, I set my journal down and extracted myself from the cocoon of blankets. Gingerly I stood, allowing blood to flow back into my cramped limbs as I made my way from our shelter into the damp night.

It was warmer outside, the humid August air caressed my shoulders and I breathed it in gratefully. The scent of ozone and wet earth was invigoration and I suppressed a joyful giggle of freedom as I strode away from the cave, thankful to be under the open sky and moving again after my days of confinement.

As I walked I thought of the photos I'd show Rin. _I still don't miss them that much. Jane, Mat, Lizzy, Mom and dad they will all move on. Adrian and Gran are both dead and can't miss me. _My thoughts went back to Adrian, and stopped in my aimless wandering. Regret and anger over his senseless, stupid death still haunted me, making me want to scream, cry and rage against the pointlessness of it, but I had done all of that too much already. _He's gone, they are all gone; it's just me now and there's no way back._ I thought of that too, and laughed over the daydream I had of telling them about inu-yokai's, bandit attacks, two headed dragons and talking toadmen. A very clear image of my brother shaking Sesshomaru's hand came to mind and I let out and explosive peal of giggles.

A breeze brushed my shoulders and I looked up from the ground at the sky. The vastness of it stunned me; the breaking clouds revealed millions of stars and the bright, full moon. I was filled with a sense of wonder. _The universe is so big, and I'm so small compared to all that. It lasts forever and I'm just a twinkle in time._ I smiled at my poetic turn of mind and was filled with happiness. Delight for being out of the cave, for the great beautiful night sky and for my bizarre life filled me to the brim. _No one else in the universe could possibly have the same crazy story. _An ecstatic a laugh escaped my lips and I gave a little bounce of joy. On impulse I began to run, for the sheer enjoyment of moving my limbs and the freedom of the motion.

Seconds later I caught a flash of white out of the corner of my eye and the sense of motion from it distracted me long enough to stumble over a rock and fall to the ground. Rolling with the impact I stopped facing the starry sky. Heart racing, adrenaline pumping, I preparing to run again, as I immediately pushed myself to a crouching position and scanned the clearing for what had caught my eye. Sesshomaru stood like a statue not four feet from me, arms resting casually at his side. "It's just you!" I exclaimed in relief as stood and brushed damp grass from my yukata. "You startled me half out of my wits."

"Why are you here?" _Does it always have to be the most obtuse question? Can't he for one just ask something obvious? Damn it, I was having such a nice night! _I sighed in exasperation.

"Here as in outside in the moonlight running like a mad woman, or here as in why am I traveling with this eccentric band of misfits? Or are you looking for a more existential answer? Because all are valid questions and could be encompassed by what you asked." I inquired boldly. He did not answer me as I moved a little ways to a nearby tree and leaned against it. "All right, I'm a madwoman then." I responded acerbically.

"An obvious answer." His habitual frosty tone was reassuring after the hostility he had shown earlier that night.

"I hope you weren't expecting a profoundly convincing answer, I'm afraid I am not in the right frame of mind to provide one." I remarked offhandedly.

"You should watch your tone with me, ningen, I am not to be trifled with." A note of warning slid over the condescending glacier of his voice. _It must be exhausting to be that frigid all the time._ I thought sadly.

"As you've said on more than one occasion, Sesshomaru-sama," I responded wearily staring into the night sky, "I assure you, I don't posses a suicidal disposition, and therefore have no intention of even attempting such a ridiculous endeavor." My weary tone was not lost on him.

"You say the words; yet they are insincere." I pushed away from the tree and looked at him directly.

"My words are quite sincere, I do not wish to annoy you anymore than I wish to continue having this same conversation with you over and over again. I am fully aware that at anytime you choose, you could fillet me like a fish and there would be nothing I could do to stop you. You are a scary, creepy yokai, fine, I get it; but if you expect me to cower in the corner every time you say boo I should probably leave now and save you the trouble of killing me for my impudence. Because I've had it up to my eyeteeth and I can't bring myself to give a damn anymore."

"You are walking a dangerous path, ningen." He warned taking a menacing step closer.

"Say it, say, 'I will kill you' and I will believe that, but in the time I have traveled with you I have quietly endured to many barbs and off handed remarks. I've cowered and tiptoed too much. I am tired of the wretched pettiness of it. So just leave me be and find some other way to amuse yourself." Before I could even blink his fingers where around my throat and his red, luminous eyes bore into mine as he, one handedly, pinned me to the tree by my neck.

"I should kill you right now and rid the world of your insufferable mouth." He growled and I felt his claws graze the skin of my throat as his grip tightened, unable to speak around his crushing grasp I just returned his burning gaze as calmly as I could with my heart pounding in my throat. I gave him a pained smile. A furious growl escaped his lips as he lifted me by my neck and whirling, threw me across the clearing. I landed hard in the wet grass and did my best to relax into the fall trying to turn it into a roll, but despite my efforts my left shoulder took the brunt of the force and would be bruised for days to come.

Not bothering to stand I turned to face him, "Feeling better?" I asked in a hoarse whisper. Wordlessly he moved to tower over me. A brisk wind blew his hair and the sleeves of his kimono wildly. I stared in fascination as the one covering his left arm blew like a flag all the way up passed where his elbow should be. _Huh, only the one arm all this time. How could I have over looked that?_ The gold had returned to his eyes and, apprehensively, I pushed myself into a sitting position; careful not to meet his eyes again or move suddenly. _And the night had been so pleasant,_ my throat was raw as I said, "We both know you're not going to kill me."

"You are so sure?" _He pronounced from his place on high. _I narrated agitatedly.

I heaved yet another long-suffering sigh, "I suppose you could loose it and kill me unintentionally in a fit of rage, but that seems unlikely since you are the most self-contained creature I know." He continued to glare down at me as I experimentally rotated my arm. It hurt, a lot. _That'll leave a mark._ "I also know Rin would wonder were I'd gone, and my sudden disappearance would cause her no end of worry and alarm. I am more certain than anything else in this life that you do not wish to be the reason for that child to suffer like that." He did not reply, but he moved from me in the direction of the cave.

"We leave at dawn." He said over his shoulder as he strolled away abandoning me to the quiet clearing. I sat there for a long while, in my damp cloths, thinking and taking in the night air before following him back. I was grateful to find him still absent as I wander to my blankets, and fell into my troubled sleep.

The next morning my shoulder was a mound of pain, and my yukata was a grass stained mess, but I ignored it all as I made my morning tea and ate cold rice as Rin quietly packed the blankets and Jaken gawked at my messy attire and the ginger way in which I moved my arm with an inscrutable expression on his face.

I did my best to pretend nothing had happened as I we made our way down the road, and even with the swollen pain in my arm, it was not hard for me to be cheerful on the sunny summer morning. We were free of the confines of the cave, the breeze was brusque and the sun was warm on my shoulders. I sang as we went, teaching Rin children's songs like 'You Are My Sunshine' and even a mangled version of 'My Girl'. We did not stop for lunch but with my uninjured hand I plucked roadside flowers for Rin and she occupied herself from Ah-Un's back by braiding necklaces and flower crowns as we ate cold rice balls and passed the afternoon away pleasantly. I tried to tease Jaken out of his gloomy funk, but he remained uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn; becoming even more reticent when I directed my laughing cheerful tone his way. I eventually ignored him and listened to Rin's animated story about catching fireflies in a field much like the one we where passing.

That night Jaken disappeared after starting the evening fire and did not reappear until dinner had been consumed. Though I saved him a bowl he seemed uninterested in eating, so I gathered the rest of the dinner things, and together with my normal bath items I made my way to the river. I was stunned when I arrived to find the shallow pool that we had discovered while preparing to make camp had become a deep steaming spring. Someone had painstakingly moved enormous rocks to excavate the pool and somehow managed to heat the water to a warm, inviting temperature.

I immediately assumed that this was Sesshomaru's doing. Though I had never actually seen evidence that he bathed, his immaculate appearance spoke of frequent maintenance. _Probably went to get the VO5 or whatever he uses to keep his hair so shiny and fluffy, a_nd with that flippant and resentful thought, I turned to go back to camp unwashed, and was greeted by Jaken awkwardly standing on the path.

"Jaken?" I inquired in surprise. The kappa did not look at me, but stared at the water, his staff clutched nervously in his hands.

"Sesshomaru-sama is a good master, but sometimes he loses his tremendous capacity for patience and can be ferocious in his punishment. I am certain whatever you did you deserved what you got, but hot water will help you shoulder heal faster and…" He paused apparently out of words, "baka, just don't leave because of this!" He exploded.

"What?" I asked confounded by the kappa's actions and his bizarre outburst.

"Baka, woman, it would be stupid for you to leave so far from other humans, your company isn't abysmal and your cooking isn't horrible. So you shouldn't go away over something so idiotic." I was over come, _who knew the little bastard cared? _He turned to leave but I quickly caught him in a severe embrace.

"As if I would leave Rin alone with you. You ugly, rude, ungrateful, dear, little toad." and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek I let him go. His usual gruffness returned as he muttered about my crazy, dimwitted antics, spitting and sputtering as he angrily scrubbed his cheek with his sleeve.

I threw a dirty cup at him, "Just go and leave me to enjoy my bath in peace, you unpleasant little thug." But the cup missed and I said it laughingly as he left; still grumbling angry retorts over his shoulder. The hot soak did wonders for my shoulder, I hummed happily as I finished the dishes and returned to camp. I fell asleep that night thinking about what I could do to repay Jaken's aberrant kindness.

The next day Jaken was completely restored to his disagreeable self as we wandered down the road and he complained about the miserable heat and windless day. To his credit, this time his complaints where not unwarranted. The day had been humid at dawn and was miserable by early afternoon. Our stoic leader appeared unaffected by the melting heat, but then I didn't expect such mundane things like discomfort to affect his generally impervious disposition. I was however surprised the mordantly arctic creature didn't melt into a pool of foul smelling acid.

When we again left the shelter of the trees and where walking along the river my resolve to bear Jaken's complaints and the heat cheerfully, cracked. Without warning I threw the whining kappa into the frigid water. He surfaced screaming bloody murder and threatening me with grievous bodily harm and I laughed at him. "You're supposed to be a kappa you fool, you should like the water!"

His face was furious as he waded from the river. Aggressively ringing his cloths out as he screamed at me, "Swamps, woman, we live in swamps and pools not rapid frigid rivers, and we do not prefer to swim if we don't have to!" I laughed again as he caught up to our still marching group.

"But you're cooler now aren't you?" he paused at that and muttered something under his breath about that not being the point, but I ignored him as I thought longingly about a swim for myself._ Well it's not like I won't be able to catch up, and it would be so nice._ "Rin, do you know how to swim?"

"Not very well, Donella-sama, but I never go deep enough to have to."

"Ah." I said understandingly. "Well I do know how to swim and that's just what I plan on doing," I announced quickly shedding my boots and tieing them to Ah-Un's pack before rushing to the water, "see you down stream!" I called as I leaped into the water. The last word was punctuated with a loud splash as I broke the surface and deftly swam out to the deeper water. The current helped push me down stream and I was soon past even Sesshomaru's lead. The cold water was a shock and helped numb my poor shoulder while cool my overheated body. Invigorated, I swam back to the bank several minutes later, laughing happily as I dripped on the shore and waited for the company to catch up.

My clothes clung wetly to me and without the aid of a bra my yellow tank top revealed a bit more than I would have been comfortable with in a public setting. Yet I doubted that any of my companions really cared as they came upon me. Rin yelled a hello and I splashed my feet in the water. However, the moment Jaken caught sight of me he complained habitually about my immodesty. "Jaken, where I come from we usually wear far less when swimming."

"That's true, Jaken-sama," Rin spoke up as Sesshomaru passed me with out a glance and standing I waited for Rin and Ah-Un to draw abreast of me, "didn't you see the picture of Donella-sama and her lover in their swimming cloths?"

"I was trying to forget! Tiny squares of cloth do not a garment make! The people where you come from, woman, must be complete degenerates." The toad stopped to glare at me and I kicked some river water in his direction.

"Yes, well, in a lot of ways your right, Jaken." I answered seriously as I stood and joined the part once more.

"Nani?" He asked, surprised I agreed with him.

"Where I come from is much less civilized in a lot of ways. I wouldn't be attacked by band of marauding bandits or insane yokai there, but the odds that something just as bad would happen are much higher. In one small city, in my time, there live more people than populate this entire island. The city I lived in there where over four million people and that number continued to increase every year. When humanity gets that concentrated it's harder to avoid the bad ones. Unfortunately, most humans are no smarter than sheep, content to cower in fear from the wolves rather than to stop them, and so the wolves increase."

"It doesn't sound like a good place." Rin remarked sadly and I smiled at her.

"It can be good, most of the time, but people do horrible things to each other no matter where you go. Where I come from could be a great place, but the fight to improve it is like rolling a bolder uphill, a lot of work and little gain. Adrian was one of the good ones, trying to make it better where he could, but even he knew that we would never see it really progress in our lifetime. He always told me we just had to push the rock of a little way, and then hold it there for the next generation, and eventually we would win the war." I smiled at the optimistic memory.

"Your lover was a fool." Sesshomaru stated condescendingly, and I was startled that he'd even been listening.

"Yes," I agreed, and his step slowed at the unexpected answer as I ponderously continued, "But he was a fool I wanted to believe, others devoted themselves to and who did a great deal of good to help those who needed it the most."

"And now he his dead." Again I was more stunned that he'd listened and remembered such a long ago remark than the emotional wounds his words where intended to inflict. Yet, I felt a need to defend my dead lover against his brutal scorn.

"Yes, five years ago, to lymphatic cancer. He spent everyday he had left on this earth fighting to get others to care for the poverty-stricken people in our country, and none of it cursing his fate or bemoaning his condition."

"I suppose you think that's noble." He remarked in a bored tone.

"I'm not sure, but if it doesn't fit under your definition I would love to hear what would." I replied distractedly as I struggled to remove my hairbrush from Ah-Un's pack while walking. I pulled it free triumphantly, lost my balance, wobbled backwards and fell on my butt hard, slamming my bruised shoulder into a near by boulder. The pain made me cry out and Rin leaped to my side, "Donella-sama are you all right?" The alarm in her voice distressed me more that the pain in my shoulder, and I laughed through the hurt as I stood. "Rin, there's no need to worry about me, I just fell against this rock."

"But how did you hurt yourself in the first place? It looks awful!"

"You've been waiting to ask that one all day haven't you, Hotaru?" I smiled at her as I notice the whole caravan had stopped, and even Sesshomaru was watching the unfolding mini-drama with hooded eyes, "It looks uglier than it is, and I fell while running in the dark two nights ago."

"Was something chasing you?" she asked curiously, all signs of worry gone as I gingerly lifted her onto the dragon's back with only a wince to show that it hurt me.

"No I was running for the fun of it, but I did see something that scared me, and it made me fall before I realized it wasn't anything to worry about." _It's not a lie._ I thought to the twinge of conscience I had for the deception.

"Oh," she said and giggled, curiosity apparently assuaged, "I did that once, I imagined that a tree was really a monster…" She began to prattle on into her story of imagination run wild, as Ah-Un advance forward, and the procession began to move again. Hours later the tantalizing aroma of the sea reached me, and by that evening we where camped in a rocky alcove above the shore.

I told Rin the story of Aibhlinn who longed for a child so much she left her husband's bed and called forth a roane from the sea to father it. Only to have the chimerical taken from her by his natural father, as she lay dieing by the sea from her husbands rage. The story made her so distraught that I told her an abbreviated version of the little mermaid to sooth her and mentally kicked myself for my callousness and melancholy frame of mind. When she had drifted off to sleep I left the glow of the campfire and the shelter of the stones to sit on a rocky outcrop above the sea and watch the moonlight dance on the water as the wind whipped my hair wildly.

There was nothing about his approach that would have given his presence away, but my protracted time in his company had made me acutely aware of some emanation of power from him. If I was not distracted, I had learned, I could sense when he was near. As the telltale aura approached my perch I pushed down a rising sense of annoyance. Without turning I spoke to the yokai at my back, and was please by my calm tone, "Am I allowed no peace? Is it some fiendish compulsion of yours, this habit of disturbing every quiet moment I get and turning it into something unpleasant? Because I find it implausible that you do not do it intentionally."

"Perhaps." He replied softly and I realized he was even closer than I had first thought. Turning slightly, I saw the billowing fabric of one leg a whispers length from touching the bruised skin of my shoulder. Self-consciously I scooted to my right, putting more distance between us and, apparently misinterpreting my actions, he sat beside me.

I ignored him as best I could, the peace of my refuge lost, but pride would not allow me to stand and relinquish my right to it. _I was here first let him leave, _and I refused myself even curiosity as I stared blankly out to sea and struggled not to think at all. "I threw you." He said without preamble and my numb mind struggled to make sense of his words.

"Excuse me?" I managed dazedly as I turned to look at him. The wind had made a long silky flag of his hair and the moonlight made his face glow as he continued to look out at the water. _I wonder if he calculates where to sit and stand to the best advantage of his appearance, or if he just naturally looks that good everywhere? It's probably the former, machinations bastard._

"You did not fall, as you told Rin, I threw you." The pieces clicked into place as I returned my vision to the sea.

"Well if you want to be technical I fell and then you threw me, but since my fall led to the events causing you to throw me I don't see a need to make a distinction between the two episodes." I replied evenly.

"You should have told Rin the full truth, I do not need you to conceal my actions." I chuckled at his arrogance and conceit.

"I didn't truncate the story to conceal anything. I just saw no need to waste my time upsetting Rin over something so inane."

"Inane?" It was his turn to look at me as I refused to meet his gaze.

"Oh please, you had no intention of killing me, and it's not like you damaged anything seriously. I've gotten worse bumps falling off my mountain bike." His only response was a considering "Hmmm," and so we sat for a time in an almost companionable silence, watching the eternal motion of the sea.

"We shall reach a human village in two days time." _So soon!_ I thought in distress over leaving Rin, Ah-Un and even Jaken, but my voice was untroubled as I replied.

"Ah, and then you will cheerfully be rid of me and my abrasive nature." I said merrily.

"Indeed."

"So why come all the way out here to tell me that, instead of just spontaneously broadcasting the news in front of everyone?" I asked.

"Rin is quite fond of you and I did not want to deal with her outburst so soon." I nodded my understanding.

"Well you have my thanks, I am not fond of tears, and there will be enough of them when we reach the village." I responded softly as I pulled idly at a string from my fraying shorts.

"When the time comes, you will not weep." Is tone was colorless and I could not discern if it was a statement of fact, or a divine edict.

"What makes you say that?" He stood abruptly.

As he slowly departed he remarked over his shoulder, "You are not the kind," and again, I was left sitting on the ground; mystified by his words and too stunned to immediately react.

_**Authors Notes: So many People to thank for this chapter! **_

_Wandering Hitokiri and Tootsiepop254** thanks for being there from the beginning and the Gaelic hurrah! I didn't expect the mixed media to go over well.**_

_Arvael, Feathergriffin and DARKeNeD-ANGeL-RaiiRi**: Thanks so much for the great pins-and-needles reviews. I will try to keep my updates timely and well done.**_

_Arya:** wait until chapter 6 please, you won't be disappointed (I think :) . If I've missed anyone I'm sorry! Please chide me and I'll personally send you virtual flowers and possible the title to that pesky van, though it's stopped running… j/k ;)**_


	6. Pitchforks and Kimonos

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll because I've failed to mention it before. I barely own that beat to hell Dodge and they seem lest interested in owning it than I do. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 6: Pitchforks and Kimonos

_Dear Alice, _

_Your lessons won't lessen from day to day if you never start them in the first place. Unless, of course, you are beginning from the end and going to the beginning, and still you must start even that at some point._

_-The Gryphon _

I had worried all the next day over how I would leave our dysfunctional little band, what I would say to Rin, Jaken, Ah-Un and how I would approach the village. I wanted to find someway to reassure Rin that I would be fine without Sesshomaru there to guard me, and I still wanted to return Jaken's extreme thoughtfulness when I was hurt. Thinking over my possessions I came up with one item that I could give him that I thought might prove useful.

That night, after the evening rituals of dinner, practice and bathing had been taken care of, I went to Sesshomaru. He did not seem to notice my approach. He never looked away from the unseen spot in the distance, but I knew that he was aware of every beat of my heart and nervous intake of breath as I came to the most distant edge of our encampment and stopped by his side. "May I speak with you a moment, Sesshomaru-sama?" I asked making my tone as soft as I could and keeping my head bowed, hands clasped before me and eyes lowered in respect. It hurt my pride, but I would not risk his ire this close to my departure and leaving my companions with more bad memories than we already shared. He made a contemptuous noise.

"False modesty and respect will win you no favors, ningen. Speak you piece and be gone." He continued to stare into the distance as I straitened from the uncomfortable position gratefully. _This may go easier than I thought._

"I intend on saying my goodbyes to Rin, Jaken and ah-Un this evening, and in the morning if you would point out the way to me, I will continue to the village alone."

"What purpose would that serve?" He asked prosaically, as he finally looked in my direction.

"It has probably escaped your notice, because to you all humans look the same, but the shape and color of my eyes, my hair and skin are different than every other person on this island. I am a foreigner and it takes a great deal of work for me to get these superstitious yokels," _God only knows how that word translates,_ "to accept me. It would only cause me problems if anyone in the village or surrounding area saw me arrive with three yokai and a little girl. Also I don't expect that your usual travel itinerary would include a village of that sort and is therefore a hindrance to those plans. I have been a big enough irritant as it is and I wish to curtail that annoyance as much as possible. God only knows how I will manage to repay you for what you have already done for me." I finished lamely my words spent I fiddled with the tattered sleeve of my kimono as I waited for his reply. _All of my things are so worn out and bedraggled I'm going to look like a war refugee when I get to that village._

"It is a good plan."I was surprised, but only nodded and turned back to the camp, "You saved the life of one of my vassals. You owe me nothing." I turned back to him.

"I would have saved her anyway, I don't really consider it a debt to you." I said dismissively.

"As you please," was his response before falling silent and I left him there, crossing the short distance back to the others, and their more comprehensible issues.

Ah-Un let loose a mournful sound from both mouths and rested his heads on my shoulders as Rin broke into sobs at the news and Jaken pretended grumpily to be happy with it from his place near the fire but I thought the toad man protested too much.

"Donella-sama no, you can't leave us! Villages aren't safe!" The weeping child clung desperately to my neck as Jaken said.

"Heh, good riddance, you do nothing but get in the way and things will be much more peaceful without you're constant chattering about stupid tales and human remedies." His words were harsh but he could not look at me and clutched his staff reassuringly. I focused on Rin, kneeling to be at her level, but I made my words for all of them.

"I am lucky to have met each and everyone of you, and I am grateful for the time we have spent together, but I need to be someplace I can serve a purpose and none of you need me here." Rin answered me with a heart retching sob, and I tightened my hug.

"That's right, woman, you are neither needed nor wanted and I can't believe my lord has put up with your insufferable presence for so long. Slow paced, insufferably smelly moons blood, poor manners and constant disrespect…" The Toad quieted into a discontent and incoherent, angry mutter.

"Rin, I told you before that life is uncertain no matter who your companions are." I continued. "But I'm not going to spend it hiding behind anything. I am glad you have so much faith in Sesshomaru-sama, and I am even more thankful that he takes such good care of you, Jaken and Ah-Un. I have come to love all as much as my own, lost family and it would rip me apart if anything happened to any of you. But, I am no part of your master's journey and I don't belong here. I need to find out where I fit into this place. Can you understand?" Her tear full eyes looked up at me and as she nodded and I heard a stifled sniff from Jaken's direction as the kappa hid his face behind a sleeve.

"Can we visit you sometime? To make sure you are all right?" Her eyes filled with hope.

"I would love nothing in this world more, but that is between you and your master when the time comes. For now lets make the time we have as pleasant as possible," and so saying I sat down to fire and I sang them happy songs and told stories where people were lost and reunited at the end until everyone was asleep, and even Sesshomaru seemed comfortable, slumped against his tree. Then, with one regretful look around the clearing, I removed my things from Ah-Un's pack and distributed them between my backpack and woven basket, before kissing Rin's forehead, curling up next to Ah-Un and giving into sleep.

The next morning Rin refused to leave my side and periodically clutched my kimono in a desperate hug as I moved around the camp preparing breakfast and helping them pack up. Jaken tried to look severe, but sidelong glances revealed his sad frowns. When we were all ready to depart and Sesshomaru said, "Time to leave." I turned to Rin and handed her a plastic sleeve from my photo album containing the picture of me on the cliff. "Since you thought I looked so pretty in it, I want you to have this, so when you want to you can always see my face, Hotaru." She burst into tears and hugged the picture close while clinging to my neck in a fierce hug. When she finally released me from her sobbing embrace I went to Jaken and offered him a green and brown scarf, one of my first successful weaving and knitting projects from the year before. "Jaken, I'd like you to have this. Winter will be here soon and I know you will not only make good use of it, but look quite dashing." He took the scarf gently as if it would melt; a look of wonder spread across his face. "I cannot properly thank you for all of your kindness. Nor can I put into words how much your friendship means to me. I will miss you, and I would like you to know that I am proud to say that I am a friend to you, Jaken-dono, Leader of the kappa yokai."

I pulled him into a rough hug and he softly mumbled, "I will miss you too, Donella-sama, good luck in your travels." I had no gift for Ah-Un, but I hugged both head individually and kissed the dragon's snouts as the creature let loose a mournful howl before I turned to Sesshomaru, and quietly I waited.

He had kept a disdainful eye upon the mournful proceedings, and though I struggled with sorrow I did not have one tear marring my features as he coolly considered me. "Follow the sun keep it over your left shoulder and you should reach the village well before nightfall, if you do not dawdle."

"Easy enough. Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama, for your forbearance, protection and guidance these past few months. I doubt we shall meet again, but I wish you luck in you travels," it was the easiest goodbye of them all as I turned in the direction of the rising sun. With my back straight, and head held high, I moved away from the closest thing I had to family in the feudal era, to make my own way and they traveled in the opposite direction. I did not look back to see if they watched me go.

I arrived at the village late that afternoon, and was surprised to find it more of a large town than the small jumble of huts I had expected. I was not disappointed by the hostility I encountered, as that was even more prolific than I had anticipated. The hostile glances and hushed whispers emanated from every person I passed as I made my determined way to the village shrine._ I'll be fine if I_ _just make it to the shrine, _I thought, _they, by the tenants of their religion, must help me._ I held the though to me as the whispers became more hostile the longer I stayed and my footsteps were dogged by muttering villagers. Eventually, with a crowed of unfriendly people and jeering children behind me, I approached the Elderly Miko waiting outside the shrine.

"Excuse my disturbance, Miko-sama, my name is O'Conghaile Donella, I am a foreigner in your country and am in need of aid." Having never actually addressed a shrine priestess before, I gave her as much deference as I could and prayed to whatever god was willing to help that I had not botched it. The priestess came forward, and taking my head into her hands gazed deeply into my face with her one good eye. I felt a jolt in my stomach as she said, "Tell me Donella-san, where is it ye hail from and how did ye come to this place?"

Something in her gaze made me feel like I couldn't possibly lie to her, but the words that came out of my mouth were not my own as I heard myself answer quietly, "I come from the Isle of Eireann, and I have traveled through the veil of time to be where I am most needed." The priestess frowned at that. I felt that I should say something about America, a botany study and a hole in the ground. Yet my voice wouldn't work for me as her hands remained on my face and I continued to feel suspended somewhere away from the conversation.

"Why are ye needed here, child?" She asked in a perplexed but searching tone.

"I am not needed here, this is just a step in a path made of many such moments that will lead me there." I was screaming in my head at the priestess, out of frustration and confusion. _What the fuck did you do to me you crazy witch? What path, what journey? Let me GO!_ But it was no use and all I could do was wait for the encounter to end, or get worse.

"I see, I will offer ye what aid I can then." She said thoughtfully as she released my head and a dizzy wave of weakness overcame me. The surprisingly strong priestess was under my arm, supporting me before I realized I had fallen, and my thoughts were too jumbled to wonder about what had just occurred as she led me into the shrine.

"My name is Kaede," She introduced as she sat me down on a small futon in an alcove off of the main shrine room. Two young girls were now behind her, eyeing me curiously, as I struggled to regain some of my senses and my strength.

"What? I don't understand what just happened, why did you make me say those things?" I asked weakly trying to arrange my thoughts.

"I merely spoke to your soul, dear child, ye did the talking." The old woman responded cryptically. One of the girls produced a steaming cup of tea and offered it to the priestess, who in turn handed to me. I gratefully drank the strong brew, using the time to examine the Miko and my surroundings. The little girls had wandered back to the main room and were busily sweeping the floor and dusting. The ancient Miko watched me intently as I eyeballed her immaculately kept red Hakama and white shirt, the black silk patch hiding her right eye from view, her heavy build and ancient features all bespoke a hard life and a strong will.

_Well, grandma, you sure haven't skipped any meals lately. _I though rudely but when I spoke my voice was respectful, "Kaede-sama, your people and mine believe that a soul can live more than once, and God knows my being here is enough proof that the world is even more fantastic than even my Grandmother believed. But I'm not sure I can accept that my soul not only knows something I don't about why I ended up here, but also told you instead of me?" I couldn't help but scoff a little; even for my life this was an absurd twist.

"I sense a great deal of spiritual energy in ye, my dear. Though it is not like any I am familiar with. Your soul is very old and your story is akin to one I know well." She remarked sagaciously, "Not that long ago a girl named Kagome entered a well in the year nineteen ninety-six and arrived here in our well, in this time. She to possesses immense spiritual power and uses it to this day to rid this world of a great evil." My astonishment must have been written all over my face for the old woman chuckled, "I do not believe it is that common an occurrence. In my sixty-eight years of life, ye be the only other person I know to have experienced this phenomenon." The old woman's words shocked me as she told me of Inu-Yasha, Kagome, their companions, Naraku and the Shikon Jewel.

When she had finished I asked, "Did she ever make it back? This Kagome girl?" I could not keep the excitement from my voice. Since I had parted ways with my friend in that morning, the sense of uselessness I'd felt when I directionlessly following Sesshomaru had increased and I thought I had perhaps found the answer as to why. _Maybe I've done what I was supposed to by saving Rin's life and need to go back now. _It made a great deal of sense to me that Rin would be an important enough person to bring back someone from the future to save her. Her boundless energy, indomitable good cheer and enthusiasm for life, despite her closer relationship with Sesshomaru, seemed to mark her for an eventful and probably history altering life.

"With the aid of the Shikon no Tama she is able to transport herself across the veil of time at will, I am not sure the magic will do the same for you." She remarked in a bemused tone as I came quickly to my feet.

I wobbled woozily for a moment but remained standing as I requested, "Please show me this well." The old woman gave me a resigned look as she stood and led me to the woods bordering the town. She stopped near the forest edge and in the fading evening light I saw and abandoned well. It was scared and battered with age and had apparently seen some violent use in it's time, as evident by broken boards and splintered wood that surrounded it. I went to the edge and looked into its midnight depths. "Does she climb down, or does she just jump in?" I asked giving the well one last skeptical look before turning to my companion.

"I believe she leaps in." The Miko responded. _Well the prize never goes to the timid._ I thought inspirationally as I stepped to the rim of the well and let myself drop down into the darkness. I felt a tug as my descent slowed a bit, and thought I saw a quick flash of like and a woman's whispered voice before I hit the bottom of the well hard. "Owe!" I cried and heard the old woman call from above.

"Are ye all right, Donella-san?"

I sighed; _ok it was worth a try._ I thought sadly as I looked for a means to heave myself back to the surface. "I'm fine Kaede-sama, but I guess that jewel you mentioned is needed for the transition after all!" I hollered up the well as I found some sturdy roots and began the climb out. Sturdy hands reached for me as I made the lip of the well and again I was surprised by the old woman's strength.

"I am sorry, that you cannot return to your home, child, but perhaps your purpose here is not yet complete."

"If it's not, Kaede-sama, I'm not sure what more I need to do." I responded in puzzlement.

"Perhaps…" But she was unable to finish the remark as an explosion from the village rocked the ground like and earthquake and villagers began to flee in our direction as another explosion followed the first sending stone and wood flying from the demolished homes in our direction. The priestess began to run in the direction of the commotion, and though every instinct in me to me to go in the direction of the villagers, I followed the elderly woman back through the rubble and chaos to the small shrine. She darted to an alcove and grabbed a bow and a few arrows before running back out the door. Catching on to her suicidal plan I retrieved my sword wordlessly followed her to the commotions epicenter.

The fist yokai was terrifying in his size and foreignness. Easily twenty feet tall, with a monkey face, covered in long shaggy hair and equipped with terrifying claws, the creature was occupied by pointlessly spitting balls of pure energy into buildings at will. On his shoulder rested a smaller more human Yokai. Behind them flew a swarm of smaller monsters resembling killer bees on super, evil genius steroids.

The second creature appeared from the distance to be male, with long black hair, wearing a blue kimono and long, sleeveless, Michiyuki; he had a sword strapped to his back and a lotus flower in his hand. The creature laughed at the destruction and pandemonium his lager companion was creating and it made his face light up. _He's beautiful, in a demented angel from hell kind of way,_ I thought ironically as the priestess at my side took aim at the largest monster and let loose an arrow. It struck its mark, a pink glow radiated from the arrows tip and the monster let out a wail of pain. The yokai on his shoulder wobbled on his perch and both creatures looked our way. _Oh shit_ was my only coherent thought as the smaller Yokai alighted towards us, a menacing smile on his lips. When he spoke his voice was a smooth as butter, and as cold as ice. "My name is Byakuya, and my master wishes to speak with Sesshomaru, woman, where is he?" Surprisingly his question was directed at me, and not the Miko who had defensively position herself between the monster and I.

"Not here, obviously," the months in Sesshomaru's intimidating company came in handy; as I spoke, my voice betrayed no fear.

"Baka, ningen, tell me where he has gone or I shall kill you." His tone was bored rather than threatening but a chill went up my spine anyway. It was the priestess who answered him this time.

"This woman knows nothing of Inu-Yasha's elder brother, nor to any of these villagers, be gone demon or you shall be vanquished." Her words were brave but her hands shook and the yokai laughed raucously as he slapped her out of the way; she flew through the wall of the home she'd landed against and did not move. Now he faced me directly, I raised my sword in a defensive stance and waited on trembling knees. _Well, Sesshomaru, here's that fight you told me I wouldn't live through,_ I thought ironically as Byakuya spoke again.

"Where has he gone, ningen?" A strong wind sent my hair flying backwards wildly as I met his red eyes evenly with my own and replied.

"I traveled some months with a kappa, a girl and a dragon. I met their master Sesshomaru but once, and then only briefly. I have no idea where he maybe now." The lie rolled smoothly off of my tongue but the creature looked unconvinced.

"You lie I smell him all over you, tell me where he is, or my companion and I tear this village to the ground before kill every ningen that huddles in the woods around it, including you." It was my turn to laugh at him, the closeness of my own death giving me a reckless clarity.

"You're going to do that no matter what I tell you, the answer I gave is the only one you will get from me. Lets just get this over with shall me?" I smiled and raised my sword in an obvious challenge and the yokai laughed again.

"So eager to defend you master, little ningen, you are willing to sacrifice your life for his?" He teased the petals of the flower he held with is fingertips and I realized it was made out of paper. The idle motion was unreasonably terrifying, and something with in me yelled _TRAP._

_No, _I thought, _not him, but Rin, Jaken, Ah-un I would die to keep them safe. _The ferocity of the feeling startled me because I did not realize they had gained such importance in my life, but the insight solidified my conviction as I stared the yokai down, "I have no master, fiend, and my sacrifice will mean nothing to these people, but I won't die cowering from you."

"Then you are a fool." He remarked as he leaped back from me gracefully while blowing on the petals of the paper flower. The petals detached quickly as they blew in my direction forming into a cyclone of fire. I dove sideways but not far enough to escape the blast and stared in horror as I watched my end draw near. I could not help closing my eyes at the last moment and crying into mind with all my might and emotion. _I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!_ I heard the rush of the flames as they rolled over me and felt the heat, but a few seconds passed and I realized I was in no pain. Cracking my eyes tentatively I looked around. The sight before me caused my crack to widen to an astonished look of wonder as I saw a warm globe of flame encompassing me but not burning. My hand went out and gingerly touched the solid barrier, the globe felt like glass. A shiver ran through me as if someone had run their fingers gently over my skin and something inside me said that the bubble was a part of me.

"Baka, ningen how did you manage to deflect my attack?" Byakuya's voice range with rage now as he blew another wall of fire at me, this time I stood and instinctively pushed my fear and anger into the barrier and felt the creatures flames bounce back towards him. The redirected fire bounced off of Byakuya's own barrier and was dispelled harmlessly leaving both of us unscathed. He howled in rage and pulled a much larger lotus from his hair and blew an immense torrent of flame in my direction.

I grit my teeth against the onslaught and focused my whole being onto the idea of redirecting the fire towards the large hairy monster Byakuya was perched upon. The monster exploded into ash. Through the blinding flash I saw Byakuya leaped away and mount some crazy device as he flew from the scene. _I'm rubber your glue,_ I though perversely as I fell into exhausted unconsciousness.

I woke to find Rin's tear soak visage peering down at me worriedly and as my eyes fluttered open Jaken threw himself upon my prone form with a joyful exclamation. _Could it all have been a dream?_ I thought as my fuzzy brain tried to produce an alternative explanation to current events and failed until I actually listened to Jaken incoherent babble, "When Sesshomaru-dono brought you back and you wouldn't wake up Rin became so worried! Why would you scare her like that Donella-chan? What happened to you, lord Sesshomaru would tell me nothing…" My mind folded back into itself, tuning him out, as I focused on my thoughts. I struggled to understand how Sesshomaru had found me let alone brought me here, or why. My body felt as if I'd just done some intensive physical labor, I was nothing more than a mass of aching muscles and stiff joints with pounding headache. That headache was quickly forming into a major migraine as the whiney toad continued to babble and carp upon my insensitive, and selfish nature.

"Jaken." My voice came out as a froggy, croaking whisper.

"Nani?"

"Damare. You're making my headache worse. Please don't make me go through the inconveniences of having to pummel you into silence. I'm rather sore, and tired at the moment." My threat was weak and devoid of feeling, but he quieted and quickly offered me a hand as I struggled to sit. "How long have I been here?" I asked as I examined the fire lit encampment.

"A little over a day." Rin answered as she offered me a cup of water, "Donella-sama, are you alright? What happened?" I took the mug gratefully and eagerly consumed its contents before answering.

"The village was attacked, Kaede and I did what we could to defend it, she…" I trailed off thoughtfully. S_he was hurt; what if she needs help!_ I laboriously stood, "I have to go back. She was injured, she may need help and my things are still there." A wave of dizziness hit me and I felt myself tumbling to the earth. Strong arms caught me before I reached it; I smelled pine needles and crisp autumn. With a sigh, I relaxed comfortably into the embrace as I was gently lowered back to my blankets.

"The Miko is fine." I felt the base tremble of Sesshomaru's voice run through my back. My whole body stiffened at the sound and it sent a nervous flutter through my stomach as I realized whose arms I must have been resting in. I pushed away from the solid warmth and scrambled to look at him.

"You!" I poked him in the chest with an extended finger as I pushed my face into his, rage out weighing reason as I continued, "You self-centered son of a bitch! You could have at least warned me crazy, yokai assassins might be dropping by looking for you before you pointed me towards an innocent human settlement and abandoned me to them." I put all of the fear and panic from the attack into my exclamation and I could not stop a few weary tears from escaping as I finished. I looked away from him with a wordless snarl of fury and I clenched my fisted hands into the blankets forcing aback the hysterical tears. Rin rested her hand comfortingly on my arm as he responded.

"Baka, there was no need for you to lie, nor conceal my whereabouts from him. I am quite capable of handling Naraku's minions on my own." His tone was exasperated and haughty and it served to only increase my irritation.

"Trust me I would never dream of doing anything so stupid! The truth of the matter is, that asshole was going to kill me no matter what I'd told him. It may sound absurd, but I wasn't going to let him have the satisfaction of killing me and getting what he wanted." The volume and intensity of my argument became weaker as I fought my overwhelming fatigue.

"How did you manage to erect that barrier and deflect his attack?" I looked back at him then and answered honestly.

"I'm not sure, maybe it was the voice in the well, or maybe it was the energy Kaede told me about, I just don't know and I'm not sure I could do it again." My eyes drooped tiredly and then a thought occurred to me that sent them flying open and focusing on his face. "You were there. You were there, listening the whole time and did nothing. You were going to let him kill me, you son of a bitch!"

A perplexed look crossed his face, "You keep saying that phrase, son of a bitch, but I fail to see what my parentage has to do with this conversation." It was probably the exhaustion, but his completely sincere and absurd remark deflated me like pin in a balloon, and I let myself fall back into the blankets and closed my eyes.

"I just don't care anymore, you obviously don't give a damn and nothing I say is going to change that. I don't even know why I tried. The more time I spend around you the more I find it easier to believe it's not you but Jaken who has managed to keep Rin alive this long despite her idol worshiping blather. I can't imagine you would even take the time." I was uncertain if my last hateful words were said out loud, but I didn't hear a response from any of them as I sunk into unconsciousness.

When I woke again I lay still in the encompassing warm void of the blankets and my closed eyelids for several minutes collecting my thoughts and reviewing the attack. _Kaede said Sesshomaru was Inu-Yasha's elder brother, but in her story, Inu-Yasha's brother has tried to kill him and the others several times…No wonder he got so upset when I asked him if he'd ever justified killing someone because of his prejudices…And if Inu-Yasha is accompanied by a girl from the future with crazy energy powers while looking for the Naraku guy I guess it's only fair that the next girl from the future with crazy energy powers ended up with his brother… Though I think Sesshomaru's ending up with the raw deal since I can't even work the powers. Hell it could have been a cosmic one time 'save your ass from terrible death' card and never work again…_ I sighed in my musing and Rin immediately said, "Donella-sama are you awake? Rin brought you berries!" I sighed again as I opened my eyes and looking into her beaming face. Her cupped hands were over flowing in sweet, red berries.

"Rin, I think I need some magic." I remark gloomily and she frowned.

"What kind of Magic Donella-sama?" I took the berries from her and set then down on the blankets before answering.

"Hug magic!" I laughed as I pulled her into a giggling embrace. " Despite the scary yokai attack, I am so glad to be back with you guys!" I announced happily as I released the laughing girl and popped a berry into my mouth. I was feeling surprisingly better after my long rest and very hungry.

"Rin is happy you are back too, and though they won't tell you; I think Ah-un, Jaken-sama and Sesshomaru-sama are happy too." I smiled at her.

"Well I'll believe the first two, but I think I still have a bone to pick with the last one." The bleak tone of my observation was not lost on the clever child.

"Sesshomaru-sama wouldn't have let you come to harm Donella-sama, that's probably why he was there in the first place!" her cheerfully certain tone halted any protests I would have made. _Why ruin her fantasy? Even creeps need someone to love them._

I nodded in response and looked around, Jaken was sitting on a nearby rock watching his master and Sesshomaru in turn was no more than a few feet to my left watching me intently. _All right, I'll ask, _I thought ironically as I used my Mr. Spock trick and quirked an eyebrow at him, "Do I have to ask why you aren't doing your normal interstellar orbit of the camp or do you feel like sharing why you have deigned to join our meager company?" I almost laughed out loud and could not help a smile when he mirrored my eyebrow trick with his own.

"Jaken retrieved your things from the village and the Miko told him several of the inhabitants had become ill after Byakuya departed. She said you should be watched for signs of fever." I did giggle at that and I was rewarded with a dire glare. _Watching for a fever translates into staring at me closely while I sleep? He just gets creepier every minute I spend with him._

"I assure you, Sesshomaru-sama, I'm not ill. I am, however, famished. How far is the village from here?" I asked eagerly standing and busying myself by folding my blankets.

"Do you not listen? Jaken retrieved your belongings; there is no need for you to return to the village." His voice sounded exasperated as he also came to his feet. _Wow, he even makes standing up look like dancing,_ the stray though left me wanting to laugh again, but I managed to refrain as I turned to my work and hid my smile.

"Don't be absurd, of course I'm not. The villagers may be used to a lot with Inu-Yasha's apparent blundering and injurious tendencies but even with such a nice lady as Kaede running the place they aren't going to let a freakish mortal like me wonder back in after leading an enormous fire throwing monsters to their door. There is still a good chance, however, that they'll trade me some herbs and poultices, for some supplies and maybe a new kimono before they establish a torch waving mob and run me out of town." My voice was wistful when I mentioned the cloths, I really wanted something new, but I changed my tone lightheartedly as I envisioned fleeing the axe-wielding horde with my new kimono flying behind me like a flag.

"I do not have the time to stop at that village again, you will collect what you must along the way." Even though I had already decided to continue the journey with them, his cold assumption was infuriating. _Arrogant bastard._ I looked to the sky thoughtfully._ They traveled west and I traveled north and east, so the village must be about two days east and a little south of here. Judging by the sun it should be…_I put my thought into action. Pulling my things from Ah-Un's back and setting my mouth in a grim line I turned southeast. I made two steps before he was in front of me. "I am bound to the west." He crossed his arms over his chest in finality.

"And I won't stop you." I smiled at him, "You're free to do as you please, but I'm going back." I know I was playing with fire, but I couldn't keep the mocking tone from my voice as I moved to step around him. I was surprised when he stood still and let me pass, but he had one truly low blow still up his empty left sleeve.

"You would leave Rin again so soon? Even after you told her how happy you are to be back?" _What a truly evil, manipulative son of a bitch!_ His words hit me like a sucker punch to the conscience as they spun me around to face him and the child clinging pitiably to his side. Rin was struggling to look brave as she bit her lip, attempting to hold back the tears with a contorted smile. My heart and will were broken by that spectacle. I shot him a murderous glower before dropping to my knees, letting my load fall where it would as I held my arms out to her. _Oh you vicious creature! The night you hurt me I used her as a shield, and now that I may prove useful to you, you use her as a sword against me._

"Hotaru, don't cry." I said sadly as she rushed into my open arms sobbing.

"Donella-sama, please don't leave us." She wept into my shoulder. "It's not safe."

I hugged her tighter and gently said, "Ah, hush now little darlin', I will live with nothing but fish and a patched kimono if it means I will never have to see you cry again."

She pushed away to stare into my face, her tears evaporating quickly, "Don't worry, Donella-sama, Sesshomaru-dono will protect you too!" Her eager words belied the look of calculation in her eyes as she turned to her master, "Won't you? Sesshomaru-sama?" her voice was hopeful and pleading and I was certain the cunning child's mien echoed it as she stared at her lord. I too looked at him curiously. His eyes had widened as her words. _Well, oh prince of the arctic glare, how could you not melt even a little to that?_ My suspicions regarding his weakness were confirmed when he answered her.

"Don't be foolish, Rin, of course I will." His tone was nonchalant, and he turned as he said it, but I again marveled at the bond between them.

"Come on Donella-sama they're going to leave without us!" She giggled as she tugged my arm and Ah-Un, with Jaken on his back, launched himself into the air. Once more I stood and gathered my things to accompany the Inu-Yokai and his vassals upon his unknown quest.

We made good time that day, when we stopped for lunch I strapped my belongs back to their customary position on ah-Un's back before we continued on. Soon after that Sesshomaru departed, he did not return until well after nightfall, and by then Jaken, Rin and Ah-Un were fast asleep, but my troubled thoughts would not let me rest.

So I occupied myself away from the camp by staring into the night sky and contemplating the waning moon. He announced his presence by dropping a heavy bag in front of me and tossing a rolled bundle of fabric on top of it before sitting next to me. The unexpected movement rattled my frayed nerves and I shot into a sitting position as alarm making my body stiffen. "What the…" I trailed off as the event my eyes had witnessed caught up with my slow cognitive abilities and I turned to him suspiciously. "What is this?" I started again waving at the pile before me.

"They are the items you requested. You may pretend to be content with your tattered rags and fish for Rin's sake, but I will not listen to your complaints when the weather turns." I reached for the rolled fabric cautiously and even in the pale moon light the fine silk fabric glimmered. It was a deep sage with flowers embroidered into its simple design and a russet obi held the bundle closed. _This is possible the most beautiful thing I've ever held_. I thought in awe as I contemplated my silent companion, "Why would you do this?" I asked my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I do not explain myself to ningens." He responded shortly, but he continued to sit next to me and it caused the spark of curiosity to leap into a flame but I held it back as returned the bundle to its place on the bag of rice and reverted to my original reclining pose. Even sitting he towered over me, but I didn't mind as I joined him in quietly analyzing the night sky. _Still creepy, but definitely less scary and I'm beginning enjoy these quiet moments._

"You are tracking him, Byakuya I mean. That's why you were at the village." I stated mildly.

"I believe he will lead me to Naraku's heart, though his appearance at the village was unexpected." I nodded at that and another thought occurred to me.

"That's why you are leading us west to keep the others safe, because he's behind us, tracking you from the east." He didn't respond and so I continued with that thought. "But he can't just be following you or he would never have detoured to the village. I wonder if he was there looking for the girl that travels with your bother, or maybe Inu-Yasha was his intended quarry to begin with…" I trailed off thoughtfully.

"Never mention that Hanyou as kin to me again, ningen, he is a mistake." The anger in his voice and the word Hanyou threw me for a second before I puzzled it out, _half-yokai_, _oh we have some interspecies pettiness going on here, _I thought cautiously, _no wonder he wants to kill him, he's a bigot._ The revelation didn't surprise me, and not understanding everything involved it was hard for me to become angry with the idea, especially since he was so kind to Rin and in light of his unexpected gifts of food and clothing for myself.

So I gave a little chuckle and said sarcastically, "Sure thing, boss." We lapsed back into silence for a few moments before he spoke again.

"You are still practicing and maintaining that sword even after it proved useless." His colorless tone did not hint at his motivations and so blindly I answered him.

"We've had this conversation before, just because a weapon wasn't useful in one instance, doesn't mean it won't be in another and that's all I have." He looked down on me then as he responded.

"Do you believe I have no honor; that I would tell Rin you have my protection if I was not sincere?" There was reproach and warning in his tone and I chose my words carefully.

"I would never suggest that, I am certain you are a man of honor, but I'm not the fool you believe me to be. You would only feel honor bound to protect me if you did not have to choose between me, and any of our other companions. I won't begrudge them your protection. I would rather you saved them instead, but I'm not going to rest my survival on you uncertain judgment. Your willingness to watch me die at Byakuya's hands will not be soon forgotten, but I can't bring myself to be angry about it anymore either. It's not a decision I would have made, but it was logical and it was yours to make." My voice echoed the calm determination I felt as I moved to stand reaching for the bag of rice and the kimono I smiled at him. "Thank you very much for these. Despite everything, you have shown be a great deal of unnecessary kindness and…" He interrupted me.

"I hesitated at the village because your behavior caught me off guard. I expected you to flee like the rest of the cowardly ningen." I laughed at that and he gave me a genuine smile that stopped my breath. _His eyes light up, I didn't think he could get more handsome._ "Considering your pension for reckless and stupid behavior I must confess it should not have surprised me, I still owe you a debt for Rin's life and I deserved your reproach. I assure you though, I will not allow…" Impulsively I knelt at his side and placed my hand over his mouth to interrupt him.

His eyes widened a bit in surprise or anger at my action I wasn't sure and I quickly stammered into the silence, "Please, make no vows and assurances to me, I don't want them and they are better spent on more important things. Nor do I wish to hear of debts or obligation between us, I told you before I would have saved Rin without any payment and I do not want any. In your own way you have been kind to me, which is more than I expected and payment enough to cancel any dues that you believe you may owe me." My hand still rested on his lips and I blushed at the feeling of his breath on my hand. I looked away from his intense gaze and with drew my hand quickly, "I'm sorry, that was presumptuous of me," I managed around my pounding heart as I gathered the forgotten buddle from the ground and stood. He made no response as I walked back to the campsite, and for once I had managed to leave him bewildered in a field and I smiled at the irony.

_**Authors Notes: Yeah this ball is rolling down hill now! Any questions about references know that my time line is loosely based on the manga so Seshou only has one sword and has gone through a lot of stuff, and I personally lost Kohaku along the way, we may have to pick him up… If you need to brush up here's a web site to the abbreviated manga summaries, as per Tootsiepop254 suggestion (please, forgive the spaces it wouldn't let me put it on any other way): www furinkan. com iycompanion/ manga /index. html The TV series leaves off at the beginning of manga vol. 36.**_

_Wandering Hitokiri and Tootsiepop254: **You two are great! Thanks so much! Please, please tell me where I need to edit if you see it…**_

_Arvael: **I made the parting brief for you but still filled with sorrow, and alas there is still a lot of rough road a head, but the destination will be worth it. :)**_

_Feathergriffin:** I am counting on you to tell me when my Sesshomaru gets out of line, but I'll be happy to fix his clock of he gets to goopy, and thanks. I think deep, (deep times ten to the 2000th power), deep down, Jaken is a cool.**_


	7. Beauty and Beast: Instigation

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. The Story Beauty and the Beast was written by Marie Le Prince de Beaumont in 1765 I don't think they had copyrights back then so the disclaimor is moot. The song "Beauty and the Beast" belong completely to the Disney Corp and is used without permission. I barely own that beat to hell Dodge and they all seem lest interested in owning it than I do. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 7: Beauty and Beast: Instigation

_Dear Alice, _

_Jam will only help you out of a jam if you aren't already trapped in a jam jar. In that case you will only drown in the jam. Try some nice marmalade._

_-The March Hare_

As was my custom I did not change into the new kimono until the following night after I had practiced my katas, bathed and washed my outfit from that day. I could not help but feel a little giddy as I done the expensive garb and in all fairness I have to admit that for a creepy, stoic; self-centered ass, Sesshomaru had good taste. The kimono not only fit me beautifully but the high quality and solid workmanship hinted that it would be a very durable garment.

"Donella-sama! You're gorgeous!" Rin exclaimed as I reentered the clearing and hung my threadbare laundry near the fire to dry. I was self-conscious of the way such an expensive outfit must look on me and running river water does not make a good mirror.

I felt a blush creep into my cheeks at Rin's obvious delight and even Jaken nodded approvingly before saying, "That color suites you very well, Donella-san. Sesshomaru-sama has excellent taste…" When it comes to flattering his lord, even when his lord isn't around, Jaken is a fifth degree brown-nosing black belt and I had become quite accustomed to ignoring his incessant obsequiousness and he was on a role about the kimono. I just nodded a few times to make him feel listened too and then placed myself next to Rin.

Letting the girl snuggle close I said, "I've got a very special story for you tonight Rin, it's one of my all time favorites." She grinned up at me and I returned her smile as I began my tale:

"There once was a rich merchant and his three beautiful daughters. I will not bother to name the first two, because they play such a small part in this story that their names don't matter, but the youngest was called Beauty.

"Many men courted the daughters. Even though the eldest two were haughty and cruel to their suitors, they were offered for often because of their father's wealth and their own superficial charms. They denied all offers, however, thinking themselves to good for such men and were hoping for proposals from titled lords. Beauty was also proposed to often, but she was gentle in her rebukes saying she was yet too young and wished to remain by her beloved father's side for a while longer.

"The eldest sisters spent their time at parties and balls while Beauty learned her father's business and joyfully spent her time studying books about the world around her. All was carefree and joyous for the family. Misfortune; however, was soon to end their lighthearted lives in the form of a sunken fleet of ships and the utter ruin of their father's fortune.

"The family was forced to sell everything they owned and buy a small cottage in the countryside. The gentlemen callers, party invitations and frivolous things the two eldest had occupied themselves with were gone with their fortune and no one would acknowledge them now that they had only their looks and spiteful demeanors to recommend them. There were still offers for Beauty's hand, however, since she was not only beautiful but sweet, smart and kind. Yet the girl would not be parted from her father and followed her family valiantly into their country exile." I recounted my tale of how Beauty's father became lost in the woods, his encounter with the beast, and Beauty's selfless exchange of her life for his. As I came to the part where Beauty arrives at the castle and her first encounter with the beast I was surprised to see Sesshomaru leave his lone position at the edge of the camp to join us by the fire. I cocked an eyebrow at him as he sat crossed legged in front of me and he returned my gaze with a hard stare that made me uneasy.

"Is there something the matter, Sesshomaru-sama?" My question startled Rin and Jaken from their dozing postures to look at their master.

"No, continue your tale, girl." His icy command ruffled me, but I let it slide as I went on.

"Beauty found that the immense castle held everything she could hope for, a music room, a conservatory and to her greatest joy: a vast library containing more books than she could possibly read in two lifetimes. Her elation was tempered, however, by her sorrow over the loss of her father and she even missed her cruel sisters.

"As her melancholy overcame her and she fell to the floor sobbing, a deep, gravely voice spoke from the shadow of the door, 'Do not weep fair Beauty for you are now the mistress of this castle and everything here you behold is yours.'"

"The girl looked up at these words, but she could not see the speaker, and remembering her father's tale of a ferocious and evil monster she steeled her heart and said boldly, 'Please sir, if you are to address me I would see your face.' There was a long pause before the Beast hesitantly entered the room fully and she beheld his terrible visage. She did not cry out, but she could not keep a look of horror from her face at the terrible fanged creature before her. He was made even more gruesome by the mockery of human attire that draped his deformed body. As if he could somehow pass as a gentleman of the court with his massive claws, hairy body and fanged, boar-like countenance.

" 'I am horrible to behold. Am I not a true monster?' His words were mocking, but Beauty heard the mortification in his voice and her kind nature responded, 'Among mankind, there are many that deserve that label more than you do, and I would rather be here with you, just as you are, than with those monsters that wear human faces to hide treacherous, twisted and evil souls. Your form, though not pleasing to the eye, is at least an honest one.'" As I continued my tale, I was fascinated and a bit embarrassed at the yokai's wrapped attention.

Though he sat perfectly still and his face remained blank the whole time, his absorbed interest gave me the impression of an eager child hanging on every word. When Beauty broke her promise to return to the Beast in a week's time and the flower on the mantle began to quietly die I could have sworn I saw the twitch of a frown almost crease his forehead. When she returned to find the Beasts prone and wasting body I was certain I saw a flutter of angry fire in his cool eyes. Yet I did not imagine the full blown look of aversion on his face or the dissatisfied grunt that escaped Sesshomaru's throat at Beauty's declaration of love, Beast's transformation into a lord and everyone living happily ever after.

I finally tore my eyes from him as I finished my tale. Glancing around I noticed Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un were fast asleep and even the firelight had died to a quiet glow. Ignoring the frowning Daiyoukai I gently extracted myself from the sleeping child and made my way to the fire.

"I find your tale unreasonable." I sighed, _I expected as much. Maybe I should tell him he's becoming predictable._ The memory of him slapping me across the field like a gnat floated into my mind. O_n second thought, maybe a little tact…_ "Of course you do, it's a child tale, and they aren't supposed to be reasonable; they're supposed to be about love and hope and whatnot." I said keeping my voice low in hopes my companions would not wake. I added some wood to the fire and blew on the coals to bring it back to life.

"Beauty did not abide by her word, the Beast should have killed her for her faithlessness." I heaved a long-suffering sigh. _And how do I explain this so that I get some sleep tonight and not insult stupor-man? Must think like a self-involved, arrogant yokai…_

I pondered that point of view for a moment before replying, "If he had killed her he would not have been released from the curse by her declarations of love. Also, since the magnitude of the spell isn't explained by the story, it's possible that killing her after becoming human might have caused him to revert to the monster form. So even if you don't believe that they were truly in love and she deserves forgiveness, she at least cannot be killed, and marriage is a sound way to make sure she remained unharmed and he continues in his desired state." I smiled brightly at him as I finished my explanation, proud that I had puzzled the ending out so cynically.

"That is a reasonable explanation, but you do not believe it." I pivoted in my crouched position by the fire to glare at him.

"What, pray tell, do you know about my beliefs?" His impassive face revealed nothing as I waited for his answer, but he rose without comment and moved to the edge of the clearing. I shrugged; content with his silence and happy the interrogation had ended quickly. He raised his head skyward and I could not help comparing his posture with that of a dog scenting the air and an unexplainable anxiety seized me.

"What is it?" I asked quietly resisting the urge to glance around nervously as I forced myself instead to apprehensively watch him. He continued ignoring me as he said.

"Jaken wake up." There was an urgent command in his voice and the silly toad woke to it grumpily.

"What is it Sesshomaru-sama?" He asked cantankerously rubbing his eyes, irritation written in his body and voice.

"Take Rin and the others into the woods," He gestured dramatically behind himself as he stared intently forward into the darkness.

"But my lord you can't be serious.." By now Rin had woken up and began to gather the blankets together as Jaken began to whine, but Sesshomaru interrupted him with an imperious command that even I didn't ignore.

"Now!" I snatched my backpack from Rin as we moved in the indicated direction and brusquely slipped my arms into the straps. Sesshomaru's odd behavior worried me, but his sense of urgency couldn't be denied. _Something's out there, _ran through my mind in a panicked whisper as images of the giant beast that accompanied Byakuya flashed in my brain. Thoughts of Byakuya ousted the vague idea of a threat for more even terrifying possibilities, _what if he's here? What if he brought reinforcements? Sesshomaru has fought him before, but Byakuya is still alive. What if Rin gets hurt? We need to find a place to hide._ The practical mode of action was reassuring as we hurried into the unknown darkness and I tried to remember what I had seen earlier that evening as we looked for our campsite. Jaken muttered cross reassurances about Sesshomaru's safety to the visibly shaking Rin and my heart went out to the anxious girl.

"Rin the best way we can help Sesshomaru right now is to find us a safe place to hide so he has less to worry about and distract him from fighting whatever is out there. Do you remember those really big rocks we were climbing on earlier?" I tried to make my voice as calm as possible as I referenced a tight circle of giant stones we had played in earlier that evening.

"The one we pretended were dragon caves? Yes Donella-sama those would be a perfect place to hide!" her cleverness made me smile into the darkness despite the fear.

"That's right, Jaken, do you think you would be able to defend those rocks with your staff? They are about ten minutes east of here." The kappa let out a derisive snort.

"Heh, Quite easily, my lady, it is a very good idea." His tone held some admiration in it as we changed our direction and I felt even more reassured by his approval. The glowing moment of pride didn't last long, however, as a crashing roar ahead stopped us. A giant, furry worm materialized before us through the trees. A very bad feeling developed in my stomach.

Without thinking I lifted Rin from her feet, pushing Jaken to the ground and I rolled behind a tree clutching the child to my chest as a dart of flame ripped through the air we had recently occupied. I heard Jaken yell as he countered the worm's surprise attack with a blast of flame from his staff, but it did not seem to damage the creature at all. Ah-Uh let loose with an electric blast from both mouths and the creature backed up, but was still not visibly injured. I looked down at the tremulous child in my arms "Rin stay here." I didn't wait for her to object as I ran to Ah-Un's side and pulled my sword free from his pack as the dragon let loose another attack in conjunction with Jaken. Yet even their combined force had no affect the creature.

The worm charged forward again and aimed a blast of fire at Jaken, I smelled burning flesh and when the blaze died down the Kappa was physically holding the monster off with his staff and he was loosing the confrontation quickly. I charged forward with my battered sword and was surprised to feel it bite deeply into the fiend's hide as the monster swung back to face me with a bellow of rage and pain. I grabbed Jaken and pulled him behind another covering tree. "Jaken, you aren't doing any good here. Take Ah-Un and Rin to the rocks, I'll hold him off and try to buy you a little time."

"You are a ningen you'll be slaughtered by that beast, my lord will not forgive me for abandoning you." The grim line of his face made me even more determined, and inpatient. _I'm not going to live through this but damn it you have to. _

"If I die here, you, Ah-Un and Rin have a chance to survive. If you and Ah-Un die here we are all toast. Two can ride Ah-Un easily, Sesshomaru already considers me expendable and he's right. So get your little green ass moving and get Rin out of here!" He didn't have a chance to argue as a blast of flame from the worm incinerated our tree and sent us fleeing, but I was reassured to see him dart towards Rin's hiding place as I charged the monster again.

The creature was enormous and close up it's venomous, glowing eyes and rows of razor-sharp teeth were incredibly intimidating. _Ok, so it had demonic strength, heals quickly, and spits fire. I have a battered, over-sharpened sword, little physical ability and walking casualties somewhere behind me, this should be a cinch._ "Hey! Slimy over here!" I yelled as I swing at his midsection again and was rewarded with a splattered mess of blood all over my new kimono. He countered by rolling his body forward trying to crush me, and I dodged, but not far enough as my foot was caught beneath him.

I heard Ah-Un cry from above me and looked up to see the dragon hovering over the fight. I drove my sword deep into the flesh over my foot and was granted my freedom as the monster slithered back with another roar of pain. "Get out of here now Jaken!" I yelled with all my power as I stumbled out of the way of another blast of fire from the beast. The monster was in earnest now and I did not have time to see if the toad had headed my order. I spent the next few moments of my life dodging and hiding from my enemy as I looked for an opening to attack.

I was bleeding from a burn in my right leg and a million small cuts and scrapes all over my body. I was moving from fatigued, to exhausted blackout quickly when sheer dumb luck saved me. The worm had my body in a death grip in the center of the burned out clearing our battle had created and I was futilely stabbing at its body with my sword when Byakuya flew into the clearing with Sesshomaru in hot pursuit.

The worm let out an earsplitting bellow and the new intruders, and lunged its head forward to snap at Sesshomaru. The action finally brought the underside of its head within reach. With every once of my remaining strength and adrenaline I jammed my sword upwards into the soft flesh of it's jaw and buried the weapon to the hilt. The dieing convulsions of the worm caused it's muscles to contracted around me and I screamed from the bone crushing agony before it fell limply into death and my battered body fell out of it's loosened grip onto the ground beside it. The sounds of battle raged around me, I heard Sesshomaru yell something and Byakuya responded, but my befuddled mind could not translate the clamor through the fog that had claimed it. With great effort I found my feet and managed to inspect the scene before me.

Sesshomaru was in bad shape. A gaping wound was evident in his chest, his customarily impeccable kimono was almost as singed and blood soaked as my own. His breathing was labored and he was leaning heavily on his sword for support. Byakuya was in only slightly better shape. He bore bleeding claw wounds all over his body, his raven hair was lank with drying blood and his beautiful kimono was seared and torn into rags, but his tone was still arrogant and mocking as he addressed Sesshomaru.

"Our little game is at an end, Sesshomaru. Naraku-sama sent a gift for you, incase you were unforthcoming with the information he wants. Now you die!" with those words he threw a ball of dirt towards Sesshomaru. Bands of blue glowing light flew from the mass and rapped Sesshomaru who screamed out in agony as he fought vainly against the bonds. Laughing Byakuya manufactured his flying paper crane and with one last gloating look flew away to the east.

I did not spare the retreating yokai a backward glance as I rushed towards Sesshomaru. His eyes were open and staring sightlessly into space as he struggled and writhed in pain against the ever-tightening electric trap. I gingerly put my hand out and toughed one of the glowing ropes. It was cool to the touch but didn't hurt me. Some instinct told me that it was made to hold a yokai, and specifically Sesshomaru. Going with the intuition, for lack of any other option, I threw myself bodily against the bonds and they parted around me. The force of my actions shoved Sesshomaru completely clear of the snare, and I landed heavily on top of his limp body as the glowing bonds reformed themselves into one enormous ball of energy and hurtled towards us. "Oh Shit!" I cried and shut my eyes against our end.

I expected a loud noise, or at the least agonizing pain, but at the instant of impact the world change around me. All I could hear was the labored breathing of my companion and myself. I felt light, as if I was floating and a tremendous sense of peace over came me. I hesitantly opened my eyes to find that we were encased in light and bellow us the countryside flew by at an alarming rate. Within seconds we were deposited by our glowing transport in concealed thicket. Lacking much energy I rolled away from the unconscious yokai and soon slipped into oblivion myself.

Sesshomaru was still asleep when I woke sometime later and examined our refuge. The early dawn light revealed fragrant Autumn-Olive shrubs, Japanese Barberry and Kalkora trees. To my trained eye that meant one startling fact, _That damned glowing ball of light sent us to the completely opposite coast!_ My anger at our predicament fueled me with enough energy to heave myself to my feet and toddle off to search for some food, water and a private bush to relieve my bladder.

During my walk I assessed the damage to my person. The left side of my face felt swollen, I was covered in bruises, the burn in my leg was developing into the largest, ugliest blistered mass I have ever seen, I also had a zillion tiny cuts, at least one cracked rib and I was covered in dry smelly blood and goop. _I have never needed a bath more in my entire life!_ I thought as I pulled mushrooms.

When I returned the sun was beginning to warm the air and the slumbering Daiyoukai had not awaken, but had shifted himself into the growing shade of a nearby tree revealing the green straps of my backpack beneath him. "Wow, we are luckier than I thought." I remarked to his unconscious form as I set the berries and fungi I had found on a nearby rock and seized the exposed bands. At first I tried to be gentle, but the burn in my leg was agony and my patience nonexistent. The unresponsive yokai did not seem to be aware of my frantic tugging and so I threw my weight into the exercise and was rewarded when the whole mess came free and I fell onto my butt with the prize in my lap. "Damn, for a lanky freak you sure are heavy!" I grumbled as I began rummaging into the bag.

"What do you think you are doing disturbing me in such a manner?" The icy voice was weak and strained, but it reflected his usual calm and startled me as I looked up to see that he had not moved, but his eyes were open and he appeared to be lucid.

"Well good morning to you too, Sunshine, I trust your nap was restful?" He didn't respond so I proffered a threadbare kimono in my right hand and my worn shorts in the other. "I think I'm going to cut this into bandages, Then I think I'm going to bathe and finally I think I'm going to dress my wounds and change into these shorts and a tank top so I can clean this rancid kimono I'm wearing. After that I will have to give the situation more thought, but the day is still young." He remained quiet so I continued to rummage in the pack until I found my small medicine bag, a pocketknife and the aforementioned tank top.

Gathering my prizes to me gingerly I stood and considered my surroundings, a vague wet earth smell had been wafting to my nose and I turned in a slow circle sniffing softly. _Damned dog, he knows where the water's coming from, his sense of smell is a million times better than mine, but will he even give me a hint? Hell no._ Ignoring the inscrutable look from the unhelpful yokai I started off in the direction that smelled stronger to my weak human nose and was delighted to find a small brook within a few minutes walk of our retreat.

My new kimono came clean faster than I had expected and neither the worm yokai's blood nor my own seemed to have left the fabric any worse for the wear. Even the burn and cut marks seemed to be smaller than my wounds. _It's gonna mend easily and look as good as new. He may be a self-absorbed dick, but he knows how to pick some damned durable fabric._

Bathed, bandaged and dressed I decided to catch some fish before returning to the cantankerous canine but I had little luck. _I'm gonna have to praise Rin more the next time we eat fish, this is tough!_ I altered my strategy and moved some rocks into the water, creating a fish trap and made plans to check on it before dinner.

It was approaching late afternoon when I finally returned to the makeshift camp to find the injured yokai leaning against a Kalkora tree with his eyes closed. Though is breathing was even his twitching nose belying his ruse. "You don't have to pretend to be asleep just to avoid talking to me, I'll have no problem ignoring you either way." I murmured quietly as I sat my supplies down, hung my dripping kimono up, and began digging a shallow hole to build a fire in. He remained silent and so I proved my boast as I pretended he wasn't there and went about my business of setting up camp.

After the pit was dug I placed a large stone in the center for my one small pan to rest on and left him to gather firewood and scout for useful edibles and herbs. I returned triumphant with two wild yams, a handful edible shelf fungi and my pan full of berries. _One great thing about being lost in summer, you won't starve to death._ I happily laid my horde near the fire pit and without a glance in Sesshomaru's direction left the camp again to check for fish. Luck was on my side and I returned with two small gutted and cleaned fish to accompany my mushrooms and herbs into the frying pan and I was humming happily to myself.

"What is that tune?" His voice had regained its usual strength and chilly aloofness and the impertinent question actually soothed me. His obviously weak state had alarmed me more than I would have admitted, signs of normalcy were comforting. I thought about what I had been humming and chuckled at myself before replying.

"It's called 'Beauty and the Beast' it's from a Disney movie based on the story I told last night." _I hope he doesn't ask about Disney that would take some explaining. Wow his hair is a mess. God had it only been last night? _An involuntary shudder ran through my body as I temporarily relived the terrifying events of the night before and my knees suddenly became weak. _How am I still alive?_ Sitting down quickly I wrapped my arms around my legs and hid my head from view as I struggled to regain control of the emotional upheaval inside of me. _Don't cry in front of him. Don't cry in front of him. Don't cry in front of him, you're a big girl you can handle this. Don't you **dare** cry in front of him. _The mantra repeated through my head for several minutes and eventually alleviated the impending outburst.

Taking a deep breath I lifted my head and assessed my next move as I scanned the campsite for things to do that would distract me, but my diversion came from an unexpected source, "Is it just a tune, or does it posses words?"

My brain slowly registered the question and I realized he was referring to the song I'd been humming. "It has lyrics." I replied finally glanced in his direction as he gave me a thoughtful, "hmm," In response.

In the strong afternoon light he looked even worse than he did that morning; blood-soaked and torn his usually impeccable facade was in shambles and his glorious glossy main of hair was matted and brown with blood. _Even his boa looks dingy._ I thought as I considered the garment, the fur had become a sickly yellow.

Overall his bedraggled appearance incited conflicting emotions in me. The pathetic image made me want to give him a bath and brush his hair, but the irony of it all made me want to laugh at him. I settled for a bemused shake of my head as I said, "Wow, you look like hell."

He snorted derisively, "Your own stupid actions have lead to a distinct decline in your appearance as well. What did you hope to gain by attacking that mushi?"

I was too worn for tact or diplomatic speech, "My stupid actions are really none of your damned business, and I hoped to gain time for the others to find a more defensible position. I didn't actually expect to kill it, or live." I yelled at him as I balled my hands into useless fists.

"It is not like Jaken to flee when I have given him a direct order."

"No that was me, I convinced him that if I died they would be ok, but if he died we would all soon follow."

"You do not seem to value your life much, ningen. It is amazing that you still live, seeing as you spend much of your time finding absurd way to die."

_I suppose that between bandits and yokai, the last six months of my life have seemed a bit suicidal._ I laughed, "Well my life hasn't really been worth much lately, there doesn't seem to be much reason not to shuffle off this mortal coil." I smiled ruefully, "Though I'm not really all that eager to see this roller coaster ride end anytime soon, it's gotten pretty interesting since I met Rin and the rest of you." I lapsed into a thoughtful silence as I considered my last year and a half, _I'm actually happier here, being chased by bandits and monsters that I was back home counting plants and arguing research._

I sighed and my unnaturally loquacious companion asked, "What are the words to that song?"

I numbly blinked at him a few times in amazement, "Do you work on being this incredibly random or is it an Inu-yokai thing?" _well better now than never, he can't really kill me in his condition, though I may regret my cheekiness anon._

"A woman who continuously mentions my parentage in the middle of a tirade on my lack of concern for her well being does not have the right to disparage my randomness, and a ningen has no right to comment on my behavior at all." His prissy tone made me laugh again and I moved to prepare my dinner feeling more like myself than I had since I woke up.

"Touche, but then again, you keep talking to me so my comments are not entirely un-educed. Frankly if you aren't yapping it's very easy for me to ignore you."

"Watch yourself, ningen." His voice was a warning growl and I gave him a cool, scrutinizing look that bespoke his bug like status in my world.

"We've been over this, you aren't going to kill me and right now you're far to weak to go slapping me about, so why don't you get over yourself, I certainly have." It must have been his weekend condition, blood loss making him kiddy or some such, because he smiled. Though it too was as dangerous cold as an iceberg, the smirk made his face even more handsome than before.

"You should learn to watch your tongue around your betters, girl, I will not be in this state for long." He warned with an evil glint to his eyes. I returned it with a sheepish grin.

"My Gran always said my wagging tongue would get me into trouble, 'Donella' she'd say, 'Is minic a gheibhean beal oscailt diog dunta'. I suppose she had to be right sometime." I chuckled humorlessly as I gathered lichen from the trees to use as fire starter, "But I am glad to here that you will recover quickly, I feel rather exposed here and we are a long way from where Rin, Ah-Un and Jaken are. I just hope that they will be safe until we can reach them." I couldn't keep the worry from my voice, but I tried to distract myself from it as I took my flint and steel from the pack and employed then in starting a fire.

"One minute you are speaking coherently and then foreign gibberish is falling from your mouth. Speak comprehensibly or don't speak at all."

"You mean 'is minic a gheibhean beal oscailt diog dunta', doesn't translate like my English does? It's good to know that whatever spell I'm under only works for one of the languages I know, or maybe not. Lei capisce?" the frown that creased his brow answered my question. "Ok so no Gaelic and no Italian. Is minic a gheibhean beal oscailt diog dunta means 'An open mouth often catches a closed fist' in my Gran's native language and Lei capisce is Italian for 'Do you understand'." My clarification did not seem to impress him much and I shrugged before adding a few twigs to the growing spark of my flame while I blew on the increasing conflagration.

The silence continued as I prepared my meal, consumed it, went to the stream, washed my things and returned. As the sun began to set I collected more branches from the forest floor around our camp and resigned myself to an evening of peace as I pulled my journal from my pack and began to write. He chose that moment to speak.

"Byakuya no doubt believes he has killed me, and therefore the others are safe from him. When I am fully recovered it will take only three days to return to them." I set my journal aside and looked up at him. _Is he trying to reassure me?_

"It may only take you three days, but I move a great deal slower than you do and we are a very long way from them. If you wish to leave me behind to reach them sooner, however, I won't object. God knows they need you more than I do." He eyed me coolly from across the fire.

"My mode of transportation is quite capable of accommodating myself and a creature of your diminutive size, should I chose." I responded with a thoughtful, "hmm," before taking my journal back up. I managed three sentences before he spoke again and I frowned as I refocused my attention onto him.

"What are the words to that song?" I let a frustrated sigh escape my lips, _this again?_

"Why are you so hung up on that?" I asked crossly.

"I'm bored and your voice is not unpleasant." I made a disgusted sound.

"As amazingly delightful as your flattery is, I'm not in the mood for singing." I replied acerbically.

"A tale then." He persisted, _what an aristocratic ass._

"There is absolutely no reason I can possible think of for me to be your one woman cabaret. I'm not here to entertain you, take a nap if you're bored." My cross tone didn't phase him.

"You sing those songs and tell your tales to Rin every day for hours on end. It is obviously no hardship for you to perform this one task, and I am in need of a distraction."

"Yes, but the difference here is I like Rin, and she's not here." I returned to my journal furiously ignoring him, but he was relentless.

"If you wish to see her again you will sing." I threw my journal and pencil to the ground as I jumped to my feet angrily.

"You're interpersonal communications skill suck buddy, threats get you left alone." And with that I stomped into the dark forest. As I walked I listed descriptive adjectives that fit the subject of my rage, _Pompous, pretentious, arrogant, snide, egotistical, supercilious, conceited, loathsome, abhorrent…_The list continued for several minutes and my anger began to cool. The forest was pitch black and though the night was quite muggy I felt a chill run through me as I realized how exposed I was. _Weaponless, alone in unknown woods in the middle of the night; recent history and LA street-sense tells me this is no good._ With growing trepidation in my stomach I turned back to the campsite, my anger gone.

The walk took longer than I remembered and by the time I approached the glow that depicted the campfire I had been gone over two hours. My feelings of consternation only increased as I approached the camp and I heard an unfamiliar voice, and the even lower murmur of Sesshomaru's bored responses.

"It is my duty to vanquish you, yokai, tell me where you have hidden the woman and I will make it swift."

"I may appear weak to you, ningen, but I have ample strength to kill you." Sesshomaru responded. The scene revealed to me through the trees was of a very young monk brandishing a staff at Sesshomaru with one hand while shaking my now dry kimono at him with the other. The wounded yokai had raised his arm and his hand began to emanate an evil green light. _Woman? This kid's gonna get himself killed for some stupid chivalrous impulse, and I'm gonna end up cleaning blood out of my kimono, again._ Ignoring the pulling scabs on my wounds and the protesting muscles I drew myself up to my full height. Standing tall and straight, I stepped into the light.

"Monk, if your blood befouls my clothes I swear before you die I will rub salt into whatever wounds my companion inflicts upon you. If you flee now you may yet keep your life and be spared both our reprisals." I kept my voice calm as I came to a stop between the monk and Sesshomaru's threatening appendage. The monk scrutinized me closely and I ignored the contemptuous snort from behind me.

The monk's eyes widened as he looked at me. "Lady you are obviously a Miko of great power yet this yokai has clearly ensnared you in some spell. I beg you fight his control enough to move so that I may kill him and free you so that you may return to your life." The monk's pleading tone and ignorant words made me laugh. _I tried to return to my life, that isn't gonna happen by killing Sesshomaru._ From the stories I had heard from Takai I formed my response.

"Do you sense a spell on me monk? Do you sense this," I waved a careless hand back in Sesshomaru's direction, "or any other yokai's touch on my aura?" A frown creased his forehead as I continued, "Your concern is appreciated, but misplaced; I follow this yokai willingly."

"But he is a monster, he does not deserve your loyalty." The boy replied confused.

"Loyalty?" I contemplated the word before discarding it for a better argument, "There are many different monsters in this world, and most of the worst ones I have encountered are human. He is better than any of those and at least his motives are logical and respectable." I kept my voice soft and my expression blank in hopes that he would see reason beyond emotion.

"That may be, my lady, but I have a duty to destroy all evil I encounter and this creature's yokai is the darkest that I have ever come across. He deserves death."

I sighed and allowed my shoulders to slump, _I should resign myself; the little fool seems hell bent on dieing. _I used my most authoritative professor's tone as I tried one last attempt, "You are very young, child. If you live much longer you will learn that evil is subjective and that the only ones who deserve to die are those actively trying to kill you, those you love or those you have sworn to protect. Though, if you refuse the wisdom of your elders, then I will not stop you from your suicide." With those words I moved slowly out of Sesshomaru's way, but the monk spoke again.

"No please, if a Miko of your caliber believes he can yet kill me in his state, I would be a fool not to head you. Your words are wise and I will consider them, Miko-sama, I will leave this yokai to your shrewd judgment. Please both of you forgive my intrusion into a matter that I am not equipped to understand." He handed me my kimono. "Please, before I leave. May I have the name of such a powerful and wise Miko that I may tell my master of you when I speak to him of this encounter?"

"I am O'Conghaile Donella, but when you speak of this encounter to your master, you should not mention my name, but that of the Inu-Daiyoukai Sesshomaru, who has spared your life." I felt Sesshomaru's eyes on me then, but I didn't look from the monk's eager, wide-eyed face as he replied.

"Yes, of course, I thank you and I will be sure never to forget either of you names, O'Conghaile-sama, Sesshomaru-sama." He bowed to each of us in turn before walking into the impenetrable night. After he had been gone for a few minutes I released a sigh of relief and let my ramrod posture relax, I felt blood running down my arm and knew that a wound on my shoulder blade had been torn open.

I went to my pack and placing my kimono safely inside I pulled my make shift bandages and medicine bag out. Turning my back to Sesshomaru I gingerly removed my shirt and began the struggle to dress and rewrap my wound single-handedly. "Why do you feel the need to intervene where you are not needed?" Sesshomaru's voice was deathly calm.

_Why so pissy, my beautiful and petty fiend?_ "I didn't want to rewash my pretty kimono, and that brat would have bled all over it. I'm sorry if I thwarted your entertainment." A snort of laughter caused me to jump.

"It would have been a complete waste of my energies to kill him." I worked my shirt back on and turned to face him. The look of puzzled consideration he wore made me nervous, but I tried to ignore him completely as I lay down on the hard ground, pillowed my head with my backpack and shut my eyes. The terror of the night before, my wounds and worry over the others had made me exhausted, but my mind was too keyed up to sleep. Carefully, to avoid exacerbating my wounds, I turned onto my back and stared up into the moonless sky. Counting stars isn't a good as warm milk, or benzodiazepine for getting you to sleep, but since milk in the feudal era is a sketchy thing and sleep aids were still five hundred years in the making, it was my only option. _One, two, three…_I made it to five hundred and thirty eight before he interrupted me.

"Sing something." _Like a pit bull with a bone, he's gonna gnaw this one till it's nothing but splinters._

"You were one of those children that poked dead things with sticks just to see if they'd eventually get up and do something, weren't you?" My words dripped with sarcasm as I glared at him in from across the glowing coals of the fire.

"Sing." He repeated in his cold commanding tone.

I ignored his demand and asked a more pertinent question, "Will you be able to move tomorrow?" I asked cautiously.

"I have sufficient energy to walk a few miles now, however being stationary quickens the process and it will take approximately four days of rest for me to regain enough to transport both of us any great distance." I wanted to point out to him is earlier threat to leave me behind if I didn't sing for him, but I let it go for less petty concerns.

"We should leave here as soon as possible then. I managed to cow that young monk, but there is no reassurance that his master won't lead a larger group back here to try and finish you off, and I doubt I can persuade a hell bent old man and his devoted followers to listen to reason." The glow for the dieing embers had receded enough that I could only make out his vaguely human shape in the darkness. _I wonder how much better his night vision is than mine? Can he see me blink, or smile on this moonless night? Could he lead us safely through the woods to a better hiding place?_

"You say try, though you think me too weak to walk you do not believe that a group of ningen monks could eliminate me?" _How do I answer that?_ I thought about it. Even though he hadn't moved from that spot all day a serious aura of danger still radiated from him. My instincts had served me well since I had arrived, and though I didn't know how to use my Miko power I was certain that's where this intuitive knowledge came from. _It's the same way I knew that monk had little to no power compared to my own, I just know._

"I believe, that if you wished, you could kill me right now without leaving that spot." My answer was mater-of-fact and I put every ounce of honest conviction I felt into it.

"You are wiser than you appear, ningen." The left-handed compliment was delivered in is usual icy tone, but there seemed to be an inflection of humor at the end. _It maybe a just trick of the night, but it was still a compliment._

"Fine, then we should leave and find a safer place for you to recover as soon as it is light enough to travel. Hopefully these monks aren't early risers." I remarked grimly.

"You wish to save their lives."

Again my sarcasm won out over my prudence, "Well yes captain obvious, I would like to avoid as much needless bloodshed as possible. Especially since I'm sure there are many truly despicable yokai around here that really do need killing. Those monks serve a purpose and should, if possible, be left alive."

"You do not believe me to be despicable." I rolled over, putting my back to him, in response to the obvious question. _What the hell does he want me to say to that? What a freak._ He remained silent, and after a time I quietly began to sing 'Beauty and the Beast', before finally drifting off to sleep.

_Tale as old as time  
Tune as old as song  
Bittersweet and strange  
Finding you can change  
Learning you were wrong  
Certain as the sun  
Rising in the east  
Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the Beast_

_**Authors Notes: To everyone I'm sorry this took so long, I've been fighting sickness, finals, losing my job and the holidays to get this out and I just want to thank you for your patience. As it is I think my other stories are on a back burner for now, my time is at a premium. :'( **_

_Wandering Hitokiri: **We will be seeing a lot of Naraku's incarnation because all good stories need a bad guy, but I'm still iffy on actually getting the big guy involved. **_

_Tootsiepop254: **You are wonderful as always, thanks for listening to me bitch, and Gilmore Girls Evil. You truly are and Evil Genius forevery to be known as the arch enemy of Study Girl. ;) Keep it up. :D**_

_Arya:** Thank you so much for the compliment I hope you continue to enjoy reading this.**_

_InuDstories and Arvael: **Thank you so much for the encouragement. blush**_

_Feathergriffin:** Stay tuned for Chapter 8; we will see a short cameo of the Inuyasha gang as we go looking for Rin and the others. **_

_Black Angel of Envy: **Wow, Thank you so much for the amazing compliment and the grammar check I really appreciate it. I haven't had time to edit past chapters, but I think I fixed the problem in this one. Thanks for the eagle eye and please feel free to point out any more grammar errors, it really helps me.**_


	8. Lean on Me

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. The song "Beautiful Disaster" belong to Kelly Clarkson, or whoever owns her "The Wizard of Oz" belongs to the Estate of L. Frank Baum and "The Return to OZ" belongs to Disney. All of them are used here without permission… I sold the Dodge to a junk yard for $100 which I spent on groceries… I'm almost certain no one wants the resulting materials. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 8: Lean on Me

_Dear Alice, _

_Your letter is impossible to read! I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!_

_-Eaglet_

I was roughly shaken awake several hours before dawn, to find Sesshomaru kneeling at my side. His appearance was again immaculate. Even his cloths showed no signs of damage. I want to say that it was the heightened state of jeopardy our situation demanded that sent my heart racing and my adrenalin pumping through my veins and not the physical nearness of him. I want to say that, but then who lies to their own journal… Instead my first groggy thoughts were, _Wow, if he smiled at me right now I'd probably melt. Where did he hide a change of cloths and how obsessive compulsive do you have to be to carry the same outfit with you? _

Gratefully I had more sense than to actually say any of that realizing he wouldn't have come that close to me, or touched me, without a reason. Instead I stood as he drew himself up and I put on my pack asking, "What is it?" I kept my voice a calm whisper knowing that he would here it.

"If you wish to spare those monks their lives, we must leave now, they are no more than an hour's distance from this place."

"An hour isn't much time…" I trailed off thoughtfully eyeing the camp for a second, How to buy more time? He came from the South… A plan forming I asked, "Which way are we going?" as he gestured north vaguely, I threw myself into motion grabbing my pan full of water and dumping it around the still warm coals and then quickly kicking sand on top of the whole mess.

"Baka, ningen, if you wished to cool the fire you should have placed the water on the coals, the sand will only keep it warm." I rolled my eyes at the dense yokai and strapped my pan to my pack.

"That's sort of the point," I muttered. Moving quickly I went to the eastern edge of the camp and randomly began breaking branches and hastily kicking the leaves and dirt around. Rushing forward I broke and scuffled a path all the way to the small brook. There I filled my water bottle and quickly made my way back to my waiting companion. The whole process of laying a false trail wasted fifteen precious minuets, but I felt safer as I silently followed Sesshomaru northward.

The sun was brushing the hills before he spoke again, "Your ruse was very obvious, but they seemed to have turned westward."

"People believe that if they are lead astray the true path most likely lies in the opposite direction, some believe they are clever and look in four, but most forget that when you chose one path there are thirty-three other possibilities." He stopped moving to look at me condescendingly.

"Thirty-one." He corrected and I smiled that he had fallen into the obvious hole of the map's compass rose conundrum.

"No, you're forgetting that the world is three dimensional, and you can always go up, or down." I smiled impishly as I pushed past him. He was quick to regain the lead but I heard him emit a small sound that could have been mistaken as a chuckle, from anyone but him.

Another hour's march found the wounds in my shoulder and leg throbbing and my energy waning, but I gritted my teeth and kept on, determined not to be the one to call a halt to our trek. We were skirting the edge of a cliff on a downward trail from an unknown mountain when Sesshomaru's sturdy step wavered. Though he had been marching at a steady clip and shown no sign of weakness to that point, my hypersensitive instincts kicked in. Thoughtlessly, I dropped my pack and rushed forward. He began to tumble and though I couldn't stop him I managed to change the direction of his fall as I roughly dragged him back from the edge of the precipice. He landed heavily on top of me instead and I felt the wounds in my leg and shoulder rip open from the force.

His left elbow was digging into my stomach and his head was resting uncomfortably on my collarbone. I put all the pain I was feeling into my voice as I snarled into his ear. "Ok, new rule: if you become tired, stop before you fall over, dumb ass." I pushed him away from me roughly as I struggled to stand and he managed to weakly roll into my efforts. Free, and on my feet once more, I scrutinize the exhausted yokai. "We are a little exposed here, but if you need to rest I suppose I can set up a small camp." He pushed himself into a sitting position and gave me a look that spoke of bloody visions of my torture dancing in his head. I grabbed my backpack and busied myself by rummaging around for more bandages.

"We have no time for that, the scent of your blood only makes it more urgent we keep moving. There is shelter another mile from here; we must reach it before nightfall." He remarked weakly as he struggled shakily to his feet.

I stopped rummaging and looked at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"There are predators nearby that will prove difficult to combat in my current state. I will endure, but we must continue moving." _Yay, your exhausted and we are being followed by something you can't handle, but lets just keep that little tidbit to ourselves shall me? Let's not frighten the ningen needlessly! Asshole!_

"Fine then." I replied as I positioned my backpack on my shoulders and not waiting for him to find the energy to walk independently I slipped myself under his arm and struggled to move the over six feet of dead weight forward.

"Unhand me, ningen, I do not need your assistance." He growled.

"Sure thing!" I grunted as I released his arm and watched him drunkenly weave earthward again. I hastily threw my arm around his waste and propped my shoulder under him. "Now that we're done being a big man, can we get going? You aren't exactly light and have an additional ten pounds of backpack to contend with isn't going to make this easier. The least you can do is start using your feet and save all the energy you are wasting on being a jerk for forward motion."

"Ningen, I should kill you where you stand." He huffed as we started walking.

"Yeah, yeah plan whatever you will for later; move now." I snarled as we made a turtle's progress towards the promise of shelter. To this day I don't know how we managed to make it to that far off destination. A mile as a yokai's crutch, wounded, and carrying a pack is far beyond even a marine's idea of impossible masochism. The one brief rest I allowed, I used to drink some water and relieve myself.

When I returned Sesshomaru was out cold and I had to kick him several times to get him to wake up. When he finally opened his eyes they glowed red with rage and I was forced to scramble out of his reach in fear for my life. I uneasily watched him for several minuets as the dangerous light began to fade and reason returned, but at the same time his eyelids began to droop once more and I was hard pressed to find a way to keep him awake without touching him. _Think, think, think, what can you reasonably threaten him with? Even with him in this state he could easily kill me…_

Using my most serious tone I said, "Sesshomaru listen to me carefully, I swear that if you fall asleep I will find the most foul smelling mud this area has to offer and cover you in it. I maybe even go looking for some animal feces and fish guts to make that amazing hair of your especially fragrant, and then I'll leave you here."

A malevolent growl emanated from the back of his throat, but his eyes were lucid as he replied, "You would not dare."

"Do I really strike you as the bluffing sort? Mark me, the instant you're defenseless, I will do it with a smile on my lips and song in my heart." My voice was a contemptuous challenge. The ruse paid off as he struggled to stand and I waited a moment to see if he could manage the maneuver on his own. He gained his feet, but unsteadily. Wordlessly I moved to his side and wrapping my arm once more around his waist. I felt his arm come around to rest on my shoulders and the now familiar weight settled upon them as we began to move.

It was nearing nightfall by the time we reached the shelter of the cave and I was too exhausted to leave it again in search of food, let alone go through the trouble of making a fire. With what remained of my strength I lowered my burden gently to the cave floor and collapsed into a graceless heap at his side. The straps of the backpack still weighing against my rubbery arms, I slept.

I woke groggily the next morning curled into his side and snuggling his boa for warmth. I had somehow removed the pack in my sleep, but my arms were incredibly sore and blood from my unattended wounds plastered my tank top and shorts to me. Lazily I let my eyes roam up from where my head rested in the crook of his arm to his face and I was started to see his eyes open and watching me. I let my grip on his boa relax slowly and gingerly pushed myself away from his blushing_. Oh great! Rin be damned, now he really is gonna kill me. _

"Um sorry, I must have passed out." I muttered slowly as my heart slammed against my rib cage violently and my hand shook with my anxiety. He didn't reply and so I decided to pretend that I hadn't woken up clutching him like a giant killer teddy bear and asked, "Is it safe for me to go out there?" I nodded to the sunny cave mouth.

"You will be relatively safe in the daylight. The creatures you must fear are nocturnal and have consumed most of the predators in this region as they slept a long time ago." His voice was much stronger than it had been the day before and I resisted my mother hen instinct to ask him if he would be all right on his own. Instead I nodded and gingerly opened my backpack. Pulling out the kimono he had given me, and my medicine bag, I made my way to the exit, "There is a potable spring to the southeast, and a short distance to the northeast of here, you will find a small onsen."

The advice was unexpected, completely out of character. It startled me into asking him, "Are you feeling well?" the worry was evident in my voice, but he sighed wearily in response and shut his eyes without replying. "Fine, I'll be off then…" I hesitated before breathing an almost inaudible, "thank you," as I advanced into the glaring sunlight, still worrying about his aberrant behavior.

The cave entrance was concealed by a thatch of Autumn-olive bushes which blocked most of the wind blowing up from the distance canyon floor, but as I stepped past them the chilly early morning breeze reminded me how inadequately dressed I really was. I quickly followed Sesshomaru's directions to the hot spring and discovered it to be only a few feet from the cave. Eagerly I stripped off my shorts and tugged at my tank top, only to find that the wound in my shoulder had adhered the fabric to my body during the night. _Well, there goes another shirt, I guess I'll have to soak it off, but it's ruined now._ The thought losing yet one more pieces of my limited wardrobe depressed me a bit.

I heard birds singing in the nearby trees and the scent of summer flowers drifted past me on the strong wind. The soothing atmosphere began to cheer me as the burning sting the warm water on my wounds had impelled slowly faded and I relaxed into the comforting hot heat. _After everything, this is the most surprising event yet; I can still find comfort and respite in the midst of chaos. Tonight, tomorrow or four seconds from now some bloodthirsty monster, angry bandit or machinating yokai could burst upon the scene and incited terror and pain into my life once more, but for now, I have this_. I let a short happy giggle escape me and even though I was alone I blushed at the childishness of it.

I took my time in the hot spring. Soaking, scrubbing, and even applied some scented oil. I examined the little red bottle wistfully. _Akemi gave this to me last winter after I helped her brother with that fever. Now they are all dead_. I let a sigh escape my lips and tried to move my thoughts past the melancholy recollection, _Was it really only last winter? Has it really been more than a year? _I looked up at the early September sky thoughtfully, what will I be doing this winter? _Will we all still be traveling, holed up in another abandoned castle or dead like Akemi and the rest?_ With a rueful shake of my head and I sigh I put my kimono on and began brushing my drying hair out. As I began to put it up in my usual bun, but the wind caught my tie and blew it out of my reach. I silently cursed it as I helplessly watched it drift off upon the fickle current over the cliff edge, and into the canyon below. Vexed, I sat down once more and contemplated my hair.

As I looked thoughtfully down at it against the soft fabric of my garment I noticed the holes in my kimono where completely gone. The shock of it made me stop brushing and examine it more closely. Not one rip, not even a wrinkle. _What the hell is this stuff?_ Panic over took me for a moment as I contemplated the insane fabric but a calm voice interjected itself into the mess that had become my mind, _Calm down, he may be a jerk, but he's not going to give you some evil demonic cloths that will steal your soul or suck out your life. _The voice of reason sounded disturbingly like my grandmother's but it did the trick and my panic subsided a little. _So I guess he didn't carry a change of cloths either, it just healed itself like this did. I'll have to ask him about it when I get back. _My stomach growled and my thoughts switched to more important matter as I gathered my things and went looking for food.

The shallow mountain spring Sesshomaru said had drinkable water was an unlikely source of fish. Without anything to trap or kill animals I contented myself with a vegetarian dinner of mushrooms, berries and tubers I could cook in my small pan. Many of the berries I ate before they made there way into my collection and I was happy to find then sweet and juicy.

It was well into the afternoon before I stopped by the hot spring again. Idly I glanced at my reflection in the smooth surface of the water. It was the first time in a year that I had actually gotten a good look at myself and I was startled by the green-eyed girl who gazed so intently up at me. I knew I had lost weight and gained muscle, but I wasn't prepared for the athletic woman before me. My dark Auburn hair had grown out from the short crop I had gotten prior to leaving LA for Japan. The shining copper mass that hallowed my face and ended at the small of my back startled me.

I knelt down by the water's edge and took a closer look at the pretty woman before me. The Sage of the kimono made my hair and eyes appear more vibrant, and the obi matched the shade of my hair perfectly_. One year in the feudal Japan and a spiffy outfit and I go from passably pretty researcher to California babe. Oh Adrian if you could see me now._ The woman in the water developed a sad and haunted look in her eyes and her mouth curved down into a troubled frown as she ran a stray hand over the darker green flower pattern on her kimono, _It's mostly the outfit. Jaken was right, Sesshomaru may have a lot of failings, but he has a great eye for cloths. Maybe he's gay…_An evil grin lit the face in the water as I stood and I made my thoughtful way back to the cave chuckling about the over acted, Hollywood style, flamboyantly gay Sesshomaru my mind had created. _Not likely, but way funny!_ I thought as my imaginary Sesshomaru reprimanded my imaginary Terrance Palmer about how his hiking boots didn't match his eyes and where incredibly last season.

My good humor didn't fade as I entered the cavern. Upon my arrival I noticed Sesshomaru appeared to be genuinely asleep. Quietly I set my belongings down and contemplated the cave. _Jaken always does the fires when we are in places like this, how the hell does he know where to put it so we don't suffocate from the smoke?_ I tugged thoughtfully at strand of my hair and Sesshomaru's deep voice pulled me from my reverie, "There is adequate ventilation for a fire directly to your left."

I lowered my eyes from the ceiling to his prone form, "Thank you, I'm sorry if I woke you." I wanted to ask how he was feeling, but I knew that he'd just be insulted and dismiss the concern out of hand. So I tried to be considerate instead, keeping my movements to a minimum as I went about the work of preparing a fire pit.

He remained silent as I worked and I thought that he had gone to sleep. Yet when I grabbed my water bottle and stepped out of the cave to go in search of firewood I found he had followed me. Thinking he wanted to attend to his own personal needs I ignored him and moved up the slope towards the fresh water spring and the cluster of trees surrounding it. I was irritated to find him silently dogging my footsteps but I continued to ignore him as I filled the water bottle, pulled the strap across my shoulder and busied myself collecting firewood. I made three trips to the cave and back under his careful vigil before I lost my temper and my patience.

We where halfway up the slope for my fourth and final trip when his labored breathing made me whirl upon him and blurted, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Those monks are nearby, it is not safe for you to be alone." I ground my teeth in frustration and pushed past him as I made my way back down the hill towards the cave without my intended fuel.

"Why the hell didn't you say something sooner? Those monks want you dead, not me, genius. I don't need you nanny goating my every move and you're only making yourself weaker with your own stupidity." I wanted to scream at him, but I kept my voice low in deference to the danger.

I finished my tirade as we entered the cave and I wasn't really surprised when his hand on my shoulder turned me around before grabbing my throat and pinning me against the wall. "I will tolerate your insolence no longer, ningen." _My, my, isn't this getting familiar._ I laughed at my own thought and his grip tightened on my throat. I saw sweat beading on his forehead and knew that this show of male bravado was costing him dearly.

My hand came up and smacked his wrist hard. I felt his claws graze my skin as my strike forced his fingers from my neck and I glared angrily into his eyes. "If this is how you treat your allies, no wonder you have so many enemies." I shoved him hard and saw his head bounce against the opposite wall of the cave as he tumbled.

My anger faded instantly and I fought back a cringe and an apology, _Malice is my best weapon right now._ I towered over him, "Don't make me regret dragging your worthless carcass here, yokai, you are quickly losing whatever esteem I had for you by being an egocentric dumb ass." I leaned over him and positioned my face only few inches from his, glaring into his eyes I continued, "You may be incapable of good manners, but I always admired you intelligence and your honesty. Up until this moment I actually believed you posed a great deal of integrity and acumen. I respected your levelheaded good sense, but you are seriously making me doubt my own judgment. Yesterday you would have been able to handle those monks, no question, but now you can barely walk fifty feet without breaking into an exhausted sweat. Yet instead of acknowledging that you blunder on like an idiot, wasting what little energy you have and then you insult and threaten your only ally. I am half tempted right now to find a rock and beat your head in myself and save those monks, Byakuya, Naraku, and whoever else the effort!" He looked dazed and I wondered about the damage the fall had inflicted upon his head. _His aura is so weak, even this close to him, and knowing what to look for, I can barely feel it._ Worry gnawed at me.

With a weary sigh I stood and pushed him away from the wall. I then quickly positioned myself behind him and roughly shoved my hands under his armpits, my left hand grazed the stump of his missing arm but I ignored the sensation as I took hold and began dragging him towards the back of the cave. I felt his body tense against my efforts and he made a noise of protest. Stopping I snarled at him, "You are to near to the cave mouth, your aura, or whatever it is, is really weak but if you sit that close to the opening the monks and whatever else is out there is sure to sense it and come looking for you. So if you can walk then walk, otherwise I'm going to drag you, but one way the other you will move."

There was a long pause as I looked down at him resting in my arms and then he said hoarsely, "What you say is true. I will walk, with you assistance." _That's the closest he's probably going to get to asking for help._ I knelt down at his side and waited for him to wrap his arm around my shoulders before I lifted him to his feet and we made our sluggish way to the back of the cave. Turning both our backs to the wall we made the slow descent to the floor together.

I rested in that position for a moment, relishing my victory with my arm still securely attached to his waist, his arm around my shoulders. Slowly I with drew my grip and awkwardly removed his arm from my shoulder. He was breathing heavily again and his eyes where shut, but they opened quickly as I detached myself from him. Embarrassed by my earlier outburst I couldn't meet his gaze as I felt furious blush burning my face and I hastily retreated to the fire pit.

His eyes followed me; even with my back to him I could feel them boring into the rear of my head. I knew I had been way out of line, with most of what I'd said, but I fought the urge to apologize. _He won't appreciate contrition, in his eyes that's only another sign of weakness. _So I ignored him and busied myself with the fire. _He's probably so mad at me now that if I wait for him to speak first, I may just be able to live the rest of my life in peace._ The prospect of him never talking to me again was a pleasant and I started humming a soft, sad song. I was into the second verse before I realized it was 'Beautiful Disaster'. I stopped humming abruptly, _Freudian slip?_ A mocking voice in my mind asked me and I chuckled silently at the absurd idea as the fire finally caught and I began cooking my tubers and mushrooms.

My peace lasted for several hours as I ate my dinner, washed the pan with water from my water bottle, made myself some tea and settled down to write in my journal. Sesshomaru was still watching me, but I was doing well ignoring him. I flipped to a clean page and realized that I was nearing end of my journal. I thoughtfully ran my fingers over the empty pages and felt the photo album behind them. Maybe because I had thought of him that morning, I pulled it out and flipped to the one of Adrian and I at the beach and gazed at it thoughtfully.

_I didn't look bad back then, fewer muscles, but I was still thin and pretty. I look great in than bikini too. God I was so happy that day. _Adrian's face was turned toward me in the picture and his laughing eyes made his whole face light up. I admired the way his toned body looked in his blue swim trunks with a slight smile. _We where both so tan! We must have spent every weekend at the beach that summer. _I felt tears threatening to spill and a sad frown cross my face. I took a deep breath fighting the sadness. As I turned the album over a noise from the cave mouth made me jump to my feet and sent both the album and my journal skittering across the floor in different directions. I snatched the journal first before I realized the album and slid right into Sesshomaru.

He slowly raised it on to his lap and leisurely began flipping through the pictures. A feeling of angry anxiety filled me as everything in me screamed to rip my most precious possession from him, but I forced myself to ignoring my childishness and inspect the noise instead. Clutching my journal to my chest, I gazed out into the inky night. The wind had picked up and the sky was filled with ominous black storm clouds. Looking around I saw a stray tree branch stuck into the little hedge in front of or refuge. As the wind blew, it caused the stick to scrape against the rocks creating an ominous screeching sound. _Just a stick,_ I sighed in relief and pulled it free. Carrying it inside I threw it onto the fire before turning to Sesshomaru. To my surprise he wordlessly offered the photo album to me. I took it from his hand cautiously and restored it to its resting place in my journal.

I went back to my writing in silence. I managed to update the entries for the previous three days, place the diary back into my pack, add more wood to the fire, curl up on the hard ground next to the blaze, and close my eyes before he finally spoke. "Is that form of dress really very common in your land?" _CHRIST! He was so quiet and it was so nice! _The sound of his voice was grating and when the question finally registered my irritation only increased.

"Remember when it was quiet, just a moment ago? That was really nice, lets do that again." I responded curtly, but he persisted.

"What are the words to that song you where humming earlier?" His tone was board, detached and more irritating than a fly buzzing in my ear.

I sat up and glowered at him exasperatedly, "You are absolutely unbelievable! You're really just going to pretend that the whole argument didn't happen and you expect me to be all right with that?"

"I lost my temper in that field and did you an injury, you lost your temper and lashed out at me. I expect that it is now fair to assume we are even on that score." It was almost an admission and almost an apology and yet neither, and since it was obvious it cost him something to go that far; I was willing to accept it as both. I made a frustrated noise and answered him haughtily.

"That form of dress is known as a swimsuit and as I've mentioned to Jaken before, it is very common in a certain setting. Despite Jaken's opinion, the people where I come from still have standard of decency and that particular garment is limited to the beach and summertime only. It's not like I'd wear it to an interview or even on the bus." I was pretty sure that since there was no form of public transportation in the feudal era that 'bus' didn't translate, just like Disney and several other words I knew he couldn't possibly relate to, but he ignored it and moved on to another topic.

"Sing the words to the tune you where humming earlier."

I though about the words to 'Beautiful Disaster' briefly, "I don't recall if it had words, I really only remember the tune." The lie rolled off my tongue hesitantly and he frowned at me. _Ah crap he's gonna call me on it._ I blushed and tried to think of an un-embarrassing way to explain why I refused to sing it.

"There are many ballads that I know of which have less than wholesome lyrics, I assume from your reaction the one you where humming was one of that nature?" I felt my tiny blush expand to encompass my face and my embarrassment was compounded by his explanation. _I don't want to know what dirty limericks you may have floating around in that Machiavellian little head of yours._

"Sort of." I responded lamely as I pretended intense interest in fluffing my pack into makeshift pillow. _God, let me melt into the floor now!_

"Why did you lead that monk to believe you hold me in some sort of esteem, and why tell him to remember my name instead of your own when it was your interference that spared his life?" _Out of the frying pan into the fire._

I lay back down and stared at the ceiling as I directed my words behind me to where he rested. "I said nothing about your character, then or earlier tonight, that I don't believe myself. You are motivated, from what I've witnessed, by a fairly rational and honorable set of rules and for the most part I trust your judgment. I told you that even when you didn't intervene at the village. The decision was a logical one I could understand, and I meant it." I paused and ran a frustrated hand through my hair, "I told the monk to remember your name instead of mine, on a whim, because of some stories I'd heard before I came here. The real bottom line is that in the scheme of things you will live a great deal longer than I will and play a larger role in the formation of history. There are a lot of stories about the deeds of unnamed yokai in the future, and I thought it would be a nice change if a name could be attached to at least one of them. Besides, they always remember the humans."

He didn't reply directly and so I assumed he had finally fallen asleep, with a sigh I sat up and put more wood onto the fire. I stared broodingly into its flickering depth and thought about what it would be like to live for thousands of years, _would I become that cold and unapproachable too?_ Looking down at my hair I was fascinated by the way the firelight reflected in it, _It's so pretty now, if I keep it down like this I'm going to run a serious risk of becoming vain. _I smiled at the thought of me spending all day gazing at myself in the mirror as I followed Sesshomaru and the others all over hell and creation. My imaginary self fell over an unseen tree root and landed face first in the mud. My smile became bigger and I fought not to laugh and wake Sesshomaru. My eyes trailed down to my kimono, Damn, I forgot to ask him about the holes. I did chuckle then at my own inanity. _I brow beat him, hit him and dragged him around the cave like a sack of potatoes and I'm upset I didn't ask about a stupid kimono?_ The sound rang out of me and I childishly threw my hand over my mouth to stifle it.

"Rin habitually does that as well, I frequently wonder what it is she manages to find so amusing." Sheepishly I turned to face him.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I replied in earnest contrition.

"I was not asleep."

"Oh, alright then." I couldn't keep myself from blushing, _I'm sitting by the fire acting like a ten year-old and he's been watching me the whole time. I am such a doofus. But I still want to know._ "How is it that all the holes in my kimono mended themselves? It's a little disturbing." There was a long pause and I thought that he wouldn't answer, but then his weary voice drifted towards me.

"It is made from yokai moth silk and is in some way still in possession of the moth's life force."

"Wow, the explanation makes it even weirder," I chuckled, "thanks." I gave him a rueful smile before turning and added more wood to the fire. The cave had become chilly and I wrapped my arms around my legs as I huddled close for warmth. "I wish there was a way to speed this process up, I don't like the idea of leaving Rin and Jaken alone for six more days. They will both be worried about you, and they probably think I'm dead. Even without Byakuya to contend with that's a lot for them to handle on their own."

"Jaken will take care of Rin until our return, and the child is quite clever and resourceful in her own right. Yet I also wish to, as you put it, 'speed this process up' I do not enjoy being in this state. If only I had some Togakushisgouma petals." I looked up at him in outraged surprise.

"All these months and you still don't get it!" I stood and went to my pack. I continued to berate him as I rummaged through my medicine bag, "I am a botanist, I study plants and when someone tells me that 'its petals have some very useful qualities', or some such, I'm not going to ignore them." I pulled the little drawstring sack from my pack in triumph.

"You thought that I was a construct of your imagination at the time, I did not expect you to heed my words. Particularly since I did not resemble someone you held in esteem." I tried to remember who I'd compared him to, but it had been over a year and my brain wouldn't bring it to mind.

"Yeah well not then, but later, just before we left on this journey I went through the garden and collected as many useful herbs as I could, and remembering what you'd said I clipped every bloom that the Togakushisgouma had at the time." I dropped the small buddle onto his lap as I moved back to the warmth of the fire.

"It must be brewed into a tea." He responded colorlessly.

I sighed at looked to the dark cave mouth. "Well then it will have to wait until morning, are the monks still around?"

"No they have moved on, but you are right, there are still many predators out there that you would be unable to defend against, however, you need not to leave the cave. Place your cooking container outside the entrance, it will rain soon." I did what he said and thunder rumbled overhead as I moved back to the fire. I heard rain pattering outside as I sat.

"Shit, if I'd known earlier that it would rain, I would have gotten more than a nights worth of firewood. I'm going to freeze by tomorrow night." I was mostly grousing to myself in a low angry mutter and was glad when he remained silent. A half hour of rainfall passed before I retrieved my pan and began brewing the infusion of petals. As they began to steep, a sickeningly sweet aroma filled the cave and the water in my pan turned to an unnatural shade of magenta. "How pink does this have to be?" I asked him still stirring the now thickening mess.

"It will turn purple." Moments later it did darken to a thick purple sludge.

I hesitated before putting the mess into my only teacup, "Will this stuff wash out?" I asked skeptically and when he only gave me an exasperated glare I bit the bullet and filled the mug to the brim before taking it to him. The smell turned my stomach but he gulped it down like a shot and handed the cup back. I watched him for a second before returning to the fire, and pouring the remaining sludge into the cup. I then put the pan outside before asking. "So how much help will this stuff be?" I eyeballed the purple goop as I set the cup next to him.

"I will need but one more day of rest before I am at my full abilities once more." His voice had already returned to its accustomed icy strength and the color had returned to his eyes. Even his boa was a snowy white again. I smiled up at him with genuine relief.

"Thank God, you where really becoming quite unpleasant company for a while. Your threats where so weak and unimaginative I was worried you actually might be in trouble. Though you rallied all right at the end; almost your petty, scornful self." He glared at me and parted his lips to speak but I cut him off, "I know I know, watch yourself, ningen, I could kill you in an instant." I stood and went back to the fire. When I spoke again my voice was still soft and shaky with unshed tears and dissipating worry, "I really am sorry for being so rude." He said nothing and after a while I curled up with my pack as a pillow and fell into a deep and contented sleep.

I woke in the morning to find myself encompassed in fuzzy warmth, and Sesshomaru's boa wrapped securely around me. There was a blazing fire and an excessively large pile of wood near by. My pan had been cleaned and was resting in a warming position near the blaze with some sort of meat stew inside. My full water bottle was also in easy reach on the floor, _Wow, little house elves have nothing on grateful yokai_. Sesshomaru was nowhere to be seen.

I delicately disentangled myself from the downy fur, and carrying it like a teddy bear, I went to the cave mouth. I found Sesshomaru standing just outside, watching the early fall rain and getting soaked. Silently I offered him the boa as he replaced it his shoulder I said, "Beautiful day isn't it?"

"The rain will cease soon." He replied in his usual monochromatic tone and the emotionless pitch reassured me. _He's going to be just fine now._ I smiled cheerily and went back into the cave to eat mystery meat soup. It was dreadful, but I finished it all and carried the empty pan to the cave mouth quickly. The rain had stopped in the mean time, but Sesshomaru was still where I'd left him, statue-like and dripping.

"If you wanted to get clean, a rain bath isn't really going to do much for you, but a yokai with abysmal manners informed me yesterday that there's a hot spring up the hill." My cheekiness shook him from his reverie and he glared down at me in silent annoyance. My tone became serious as I asked him, "So, what's out there?"

"Nothing more than pests and vermin, but the lack of sunlight has kept them active. They will not trouble us as long as you remain in the cave." _Well it's nicer than, 'none of your damned business, ningen, just keep your inferior self in the cave.'_ I eyed him with a thoughtful, "Hmmm," before going back to the fire.

I wanted to thank him for the supplies and the food, but I knew he wouldn't appreciate it. _Probably thinks its payback for the herbs. Everything has to be debts and repayment with him, everything accounted for._ I sighed over the formality of it all. His footsteps where again as silent as death, but his aura was as strong as ever and alerted me to the fact that he had crept back in and was standing only inches from my exposed back. I ignored him, poking the fire idly as I waited for him to speak. _There was a time not long ago that having him that close would have freaked me out. When did his presence change from petrifying to comforting?_ I sighed again and gave the fire a viscous stab with my stick _Wonders never cease_.

He continued to stand behind me for several more minutes before, to my own shock, he settled down next to me by the fire. He was only inches from where my empty left hand rested on the floor and I self-consciously moved it into my lap. After several more moments of silent contemplation of the fire, I began to tell him a story. "There once was a young girl named Dorothy, that due to tragic circumstance lived with her Aunty Em, Uncle Henry, three kindly farm hands and her dog, Toto in a place called Kansas." It took me all day to tell him the story of the 'Wonderful Wizard of Oz' as well as 'Return to Oz' but he never moved, he never spoke, and though I only took my eyes off of the fire to take drinks from my water bottle, I could feel the all to familiar intensity if his gaze on me.

It was well into the evening when I finished, and my stomach rumbled embarrassingly into the empty void my silence created. I made an exasperated noise, clutched my stomach and curled over it in hopes of muffling any more involuntary sounds. "If you are hungry there are fruit bearing bushes nearby. If I accompany you, it will be safe enough for you to retrieve some sustenance." For the first time since he sat down I looked to him and was surprised that his intense gaze was still focused on my face. I blushed and looked away before answering.

"That's really a very generous offer, but with those clouds there isn't any moonlight tonight and though I think I know where those bushes are, my night vision is abysmal. I wouldn't make it without aggravating my injuries more. One hungry night isn't going to do me any harm." I saw his shadow on the cave wall give a curt nod.

"I believe I am now insulted that you compared me to Toe Toe. However, the stupid creature was, as you said, noble and Dorothy's protector. I am curious as to why you believe I would fit the role so poorly." I gave a short laugh.

"Because you're not stupid and you wouldn't have just bitten Almira Gulch, you would have ripped her to pieces. Then the story never would have happened." He grunted and stood.

"Jaken is a perfect Lion." He remarked from behind me, I was startled then, as his boa settled around my shoulders. "Sleep now, we leave at dawn." His receding voice told me he had moved to the far wall.

"Sure thing, boss." I replied sarcastically as I settled down on my pack and wrapped the piece of fur snugly around myself. The scent pine needles and crisp autumn surrounded me,_ It smells like him._ W_hat the hell,_ "Sesshomaru-sama?" I whispered tentatively and when he made a small noise in response I murmured, "Thank you," Before closing my eyes and waiting for sleep as I drifted off my traitorous mind sang:

_His magical myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change him  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight_

_**Authors Notes: See Chapter 9 ;)**_


	9. Pocky and Pulchritude

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. The song "Beautiful Disaster" belong to Kelly Clarkson, or whoever owns her and is used here without permission… I sold the Dodge to a junk yard for $100 which I spent on groceries… I'm almost certain no one wants the resulting materials. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 9: Pocky and Pulchritude

_Dear Alice,_

_Which way you ought to go from here depends a good deal on where you want to get to, and since you don't much care where you get to then it doesn't much matter which way you go. Eventually you will get somewhere if only you walk long enough._

_- TheCheshire Cat_

The next morning he shook me awake and as I groggily sat, Sesshomaru took the boa from me and pressed my now clean pan and full water bottle into my hands. Sensing his haste I quickly strapped the pan and water bottle onto the pack and shoved my medicine bag into its depths before standing and following him outside. I didn't get a chance to say anything, as I exited the cavern he held up a silencing hand as a pool of mist formed around his feet, "Sit here and keep your bag strapped to you." He ordered as he pointed to a patch of mist directly behind his feet. _He's the expert._ I thought as I quickly followed his direction and I settled in. I felt the ground lurch out from under me and we were airborne.

Flying with Sesshomaru is different than flying on Ah-Un's back, for one thing you can see right through the mist and there is nothing to hold onto. I felt very exposed in my seated position, but it was exhilarating and cold. "May I stand? I called over my chattering teeth and without replying he took my freezing hand into his and drew me up. Once standing, his boa came around my shoulder seemingly on it's own accord as his only hand was still holding mine. _So warm!_ I thought, and shivered for reasons other than the cold as the boa and his hand held me close.

Looking for a distraction I gazed down at the ground as it whizzed by. _A little slower than a plane, _I thought, _but still crazy cool!_ I let lose a genuine belly laugh of delight and self-consciously drew both my hands over my mouth to hide it. I was a little disappointed as the action caused him to draw his hand from mine, but the thrill of the adventure quickly banished it. My delight didn't diminish through the day as I alternated from standing at his side and staying warm and kneeling at the edge of the mist as I watched people, animals, yokai and places raced away below us.

Sunset found us making a lazy descent to an open field and my empty stomach protesting the day's lack of food. Yet to the perplexity of my companion, my cheeks were still flushed and I was still practically vibrating from the thrill of air travel and not even my hunger could diminish my childish delight. I had spent the whole day in laughing, foolish, wonder but the trip really had taken its toll. As the mist dissolved around us I made a concerted effort to reign myself in and locate my politesse. "Is it safe for me to go foraging?" I was glad that my voice sounded as composed as I had hoped.

"In a moment it will be" His answer was directed to me but his eyes were focused on a group emerging from the forest on the far side of the pasture. As they approached I could make out a girl in a modern school uniform pushing a bicycle with a kitsune in the basket, a large yokai cat, a monk, a woman carrying a giant boomerang and a white haired boy in the most vivid red kimono I had ever seen. Moments later I noticed the boy had small dog-ears and I realized who he and the girl had to be, _Kagome, Inu-Yasha, and their companions. _

The other names escaped me as I struggled to remember what Kaede had said about them, _'Not that long ago a girl named Kagome entered a well in the year nineteen ninety-six and arrived here in our well, in this time. She too possesses immense spiritual power and uses it to this day to rid this world of a great evil' 'Inu-Yasha's elder brother is not a kind man, and has tried to kill them all on several occasions. He cannot encounter his brother without being goaded into a fight, yet because of the apposing magic of their father's swords, they cannot kill each other.' _At that momentInu-Yasha yelled a rude taunt in the direction of my waiting companion and Sesshomaru rushed forward to meet him. _Oh, this isn't good._

Kagome and the others quickly moved up the hill as the brothers engaged each other. I followed their lead and was soon standing next to the Kagome's bicycle as the four observed me suspiciously. "Um, are you Kagome?" I asked.

She eagerly blurted out, "You speak English," In heavily accented English of her own.

I smile happily at her, "I don't know if you've had a chance to talk to Kaede yet, but I'm Donella O'Conghaile, from America, I kind of landed here last year and I'm stuck."

Kagome nodded eagerly and the girl with the boomerang broke in, "We spoke to Kaede just a few days past, and she said you weren't able to get back through the Boneater's Well. It must be terrible for you to be so far from your family."

By this time the Monk had reached my side eagerly took my hand in his own. "Kaede failed to mention that her visitor was a vision of such loveliness, however, what amazing eyes you have, miss. I was wondering if you would do me the honor…" before he could finish the girl with the boomerang struck him soundly on the head.

"Geez Miroku can't you stop for a second?" the Kitsune asked in annoyance. _Shippo,_ _Sango and Miroku,_ finally remembering names I smiled, but my triumph was short lived as an electric crash shook the earth behind me and drew my attention back to the fight. Deep furrows in the earth extended from Inu-Yasha's lowered sword to his seemingly unscathed brother about twenty feet away.

"This doesn't look good." Kagome's worried voice made me look her way as the others just nodded their agreement.

"How do these fights usually end?" I asked returning my gaze to the battle before us, Miroku answered.

"Usually something more dangerous appears or Sesshomaru decides it's a waste of time and leaves."

"But how we get them to stop without either of those things happening? I really need to actually have a conversation with Kagome and I don't particularly want Sesshomaru to get injured..." Sesshomaru charged forward a glowing green whip appeared from the tip of his fingers and lashed toward Inu-Yasha who tried to deflect it, but his arm was sliced open anyway and blood spurted out.

"I can always make Inu-Yasha sit, but I don't know how to stop Sesshomaru." Kagome answered worriedly. _If only I could do that shield thing again._ I thought anxiously and a eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach answered as I saw Inu-Yasha's sword glow and I knew instinctively he was going to use that electrical attack again. Thoughtlessly I ran down the hill at a breakneck pace and flung myself between the brothers just as the attack was unleashed. _I don't want anyone to get hurt here!_ I cried in my mind as I put the anxiety and worry I was feeling at the moment, into that one focused idea."STOP IT YOU IDIOTS THIS IS POINTLESS!" I yelled at them as the attack reached me.

A_nd now I die?_ I asked as static electricity sent my hair and cloths flying madly as the lightning ripped over my shield and lashed back at both of the siblings wrapping them in glowing strands of light. Drained by the effort I collapsed to the ground as the bonds around the brothers faded and the others rushed towards me. Screaming worry about my well-being.

Two black shoes and the white billow of Sesshomaru's hakama greeted my eyes as I slowly opened them and tried to raise myself up. "Baka, ningen, you interfere to much in things that are none of your concern. This is unforgivable." He growled and the others moved back from us.

"Leave her be, Sesshomaru," Inu-Yasha growled from behind me as I pushed myself shakily to my feet to face the wrath of the Daiyoukai before me, but instead I turned my back to him and raged at the Hanyou.

"You must have shit for brains! Are you really that fucking stupid? Did it ever occur to you to use the gray matter between your ears before starting an incredibly worthless fight? Next time you open your mouth just bite your tongue instead, it would serve you better and the rest of the world would be spared your ignorant prattle!" My fist came up on its own accord and slammed into his stunned and exposed face. I felt his nose crunch on the impact and he fell backwards, but no one moved to stop me and I continued emphasizing my words with kicks and stomps to his groin and ribs.

"From what I've seen and heard, so far, you are nothing more than a testosterone driven mouth with a sword that's far more powerful than any over grown monkey like you should have. I don't need you defending me against him," I shoved an angry thumb in Sesshomaru's general direction, "anymore than I need his inane diatribe about my interference in things that he thinks aren't any of my business. My only concern is that if he kills you then Kagome is never going to send a letter to my family. So if one more imbecilic word passes from your lips to set him off, and ruin that chance, I will personally kick all your teeth in myself, AM I CLEAR?" I emphasized each of the last three words with forceful kicks to the ribs as Kagome finally came over and took my hands in hers.

"Donella-chan are you alright?" she asked worriedly and the wounded hanyou on the ground let out a protest.

"Is she all right what about me?"

Kagome muttered a hasty, "Inuyasha, sit boy." That sent the grumbling, bleeding mess into the earth as she lead me back up the hill murmuring soothing words. Sesshomaru followed us in silence as the others helped Inu-Yasha to his feet with friendly taunts and jeers.

"Donella-chan how did you do that thing with Inuyasha's Kaze no Kizu?" Kagome asked as I sat wearily down next to my pack.

"Honestly, I have no clue, I just sort of knew how." Instead of rebuking me the girl nodded in understanding.

"Sometimes I can erect a barrier, but it's the same thing. I can't actually control, it I just have to really want it, but most of the time even that doesn't work." She smiled at me reassuringly. "It always makes me really hungry and tired afterwards though, have you eaten?"

I gave her a weak smile, "Yesterday morning."

By this time all but a sulky Inu-Yasha had joined us and Shippo exclaimed. "Well you're in luck then! Kagome brought ninja food and ramen from here time, it's wonderful!" He exclaim smacking his lips and rubbing his hand eagerly.

I leaned over to Kagome and whispered, "Ninja Food?"

She gave me a sheepish smile. "Mostly potato chips and crackers."

I nodded knowingly, "I thinks ramen sounds awesome." I declared as the whole group went about preparing their camp and eyeing Sesshomaru warily, Inu-Yasha had placed himself in the branches of a tree several feet away; pretending to ignore the whole scene. _Wow, awkward!_

"I'm really sorry about my outburst earlier, it's been a really long year and I find that I loose my temper a lot more often since I fell down that hole…" I trailed off mumbling my apologies as Kagome flung her arms around my neck in a crushing hug.

Pulling back she said, "Don't worry about it, I beat him up worse than that on a regular basis, he's just pouting."

"Yeah, Inuyasha can really be a big baby sometimes." Shippo remarked scornfully and the others chimed in to reassure me. Maybe because I was listening for it, I heard a short grunt from Sesshomaru.

"Be that as it may, I don't want to impose and we really need to get back to Rin and Jaken as soon as possible. So, um, Kagome would you please take a letter back and mail it to my brother for me?" I looked at her with eager hope and she immediately beamed.

"Absolutely! I have my school notebook if you need paper and lots of pencils." She proclaimed as she dove for the enormous backpack and I smiled.

"No I have the letter already written right here." I said pulling the battered folds of paper from my pack and handing them to her. "I wrote it last winter, mainly out of boredom since I didn't know if I'd ever get back or have a chance to send it. Thought maybe an archeologist or something would find it like in, 'Timeline'," I giggled at the ludicrous idea, "My brother Matt's address is on the first page." I was blushing by the time I finished my explanation but Kagome laughed.

"I loved that movie! I sometimes think about it when I'm back here." I couldn't help but return her infections grin as I stood.

"Well that's really everything I needed, thank you so much and it was a pleasure meeting all of you." I bowed to them formally as I turned, but Kagome grabbed my sleeve.

"Please, wait, if you've been here a year I bet there are some things you'll want." She went to her yellow pack again and quickly returned with some antibiotic ointment, a cup-o-noodle, a box of chocolate Pocky, a wrapped toothbrush, toothpaste, a purple click pen and a pink hello kitty diary. "I was hoping we'd meet, I've been thinking about giving these things to you since Kaeda told us your story." She smiled shyly as I took them from her, "Tell Rin I said hi, ok, I really like her."

I gave the girl an impulsive hug of gratitude before clutching my prizes close, "Thank you so much! I could never repay you enough for this."

"No problem, and if there's anything you want, I'll bring it back next time and carry it with me, we sometime run into Rin and the others."

I gave it some thought, "Maybe just some coffee, I really miss coffee. I'll even take instant at this point and praise it as ambrosia." She laughed.

"Done then. Take care of yourself." Said it to me, but she was glaring at Sesshomaru.

"You too." I replied with feeling as I shouldered my pack, they all came close and made their farewells, and I distinctly felt the monk grab my butt before Sango struck him again. Sesshomaru was already halfway down the hill, by the time I had parted from them and I hurried to catch up. I had just reached his side as Sango came rushing towards us.

"Sesshomaru-sama, would you please tell my brother that I would like to see him sometime soon, and that I miss him?" She huffed. For an instant I thought I saw a sad frown crease his immaculate features.

"I am unable to do so. Kohaku returned to his father's home in the yokai taijiya village over a year ago, you should seek him there." Having said his piece Sesshomaru continued his forward motion.

I was the only one to see the girl give him a reverent bow, but I'm certain he heard her, "Domo arigato gozaimashita, Sesshomaru-sama," as I rushed again to catch up in the dimming light. _What an incredibly odd group; fun, noisy, and very, very odd. _I hugged my new treasures close _I really like all of them… _

We walked into the woods for several minutes before the deepening gloom caused me to stumble. I sat down where I had tripped and began digging a fire pit, not caring if Sesshomaru kept walking until dooms day or not. I was exhausted, starving and done. _He's still angry. _I thought despondently as I began collecting fallen leaves and branches from the immediate vicinity and finally started a fire. The glow revealed Sesshomaru several feet away propped against a tree, silently considering me.

_Well I've ignored his high and mighty pissiness this long. I might as well enjoy the silence before the roaring and threats start._ So I put some water on to boil, and took my Poe books from my pack. I paused in my reading to make my cup-o-soup, and I eagerly and noisily slurped the noodles for lack of chopsticks or a fork before putting the paper cup in the fire and returning to my story. I was halfway through 'Some Words with a Mummy' when he finally broke the silence, but not as I'd expected.

"What is a mooveee?" _And way out from left field…_

"It's like kabuki, only more realistic." I replied softly, _If he's not going to be pissy I may as well try to be nice if for no other reason than to keep the peace for as long as possible. Has Kabuki been invented yet?_ Apparently it or something like it had because he didn't press the issue and silence reigned again.

I took my box of Pocky out and could not silence my, "MMmmm," of delight as the sweet chocolate melted into my mouth, "Oh, how I've missed chocolate!" I remarked retorically as I quickly ate another; greedily I reached for a third but stopped myself. _Rin and Jaken will love these, and I really shouldn't devour them all in one sitting like a spoiled child. I wonder…_ I looked up from the box to Sesshomaru thoughtfully. He was watching me but languorously turned his head away into the darkness as I looked up. _Yeah sure, watching me act like a freak is far more interesting than watching the wind in the trees._ With a sigh I stood and crossed the no man's land between us. Pulling a piece of Pocky from the box I offered it to him, "Here, these really are too rare a treat for me not to share."

"I do not eat ningen food." He scoffed, but I smiled at his rebuke and the evil glare he gave the chocolate covered treat in my hand.

"This isn't really considered food, it's a candy and it's not meant to be consumed frequently." I made an intelligible sound of exasperation at his impassive look, "Please, I swear, you've already seen me eat two, they aren't poison. There's nothing to be afraid of." He snatched the Pocky from my hand before I'd finished the sentence.

"This Sesshomaru fears nothing." He declared before cramming the treat into his mouth. I fought my smile of triumph. _Score one to me for the masterful blow to the ego._ As he chewed I saw his eyes widen a little.

"Well, was it awful?"

"It was quite good." He responded frostily, and I grinned.

"Cool, here have another before I wrap them up, I think when we finally make it back, Rin and Jaken they'll need a treat." I remarked cheerily as I pressed another into his hand before curling up with my pack by the fire. As I stared into the night I sang, 'Ghost of a Rose', before drifting off to sleep.

I'm not sure what alerted me the next morning, but my eyes flew open as he knelt to shake me awake. I sat bolt up right next to his kneeling form and urgently scanned the forest around me as my heart slammed in my chest. A deep feeling of unease had settled into my entire being and I couldn't shake the sensation that a malevolent being was looking for me. Then the early dawn light illuminated a small yellow ball floating our way and every instinct in me screamed, _It hasn't seen you_, _HIDE, NOW!_ Following it I whispered, "Quickly we need to hide." Before scrambling for the cover of some nearby shrubs. I didn't think he would follow my erratic behavior, but wordlessly he moved to my side in the small hiding place with more grace and speed that I had managed. From the cover of the bushes I watched the globe come closer and realized it was a floating eyeball.

"It belongs to Byakuya, he's looking for the others, but if it sees us, or it's destroyed he will know immediately." I whispered, not understanding where my knowledge came from but trusting it to be true. The eye passed by us hastily, and the feeling of panic receded with it. I stood and brushed leaves and dirt from my kimono. I went to my pack, but hit my head against the chest plate of Sesshomaru's armor instead. "Owe, what the hell! I thought you'd stopped doing that." I cried grumpily as I rubbed the sore spot of my forehead.

"How did you know about the eye?" He asked me, his voice was all cold suspicion and his face was dangerous mask of anger.

I shrugged, "I really don't know."

"Ningen, I will know if you are working with Naraku, tell me how you knew that creature was sent from Byakuya." His hand gripped my shoulder painfully and I glared up at him in with murderous fury.

"How did I make the barrier yesterday? Or when Byakuya attacked me at the village? How did you create that mist? What was the glowing ball of light that transported us all the way across Japan to begin with? How do you keep your hair so shiny? All questions I don't have answers to, Sesshomaru-sama, and none of them reasons for you to be angry or suspicious of me. If I was really one of your enemies I would have done something to Rin and Jaken a year ago and not consented to follow you around aimlessly all over creation." I forcefully pulled my arm from his grip ignoring the painful scratches that his claws gouged into my arm. "You are absolutely amazing, I have tried to leave you more than once and have done everything in my power to keep you and everyone associated with you in good spirits and health and after all this time some absurd mystical knowledge pops into my head and you are eager to call me enemy? I am no ally of Naraku's but I don't think I wish to be one of yours any longer either." I pushed past him roughly and flinging my backpack on my shoulders I hastily marched into the woods, furry fueling my flight to anywhere away from him.

He caught up to me easily and was again standing in my path. Tears of hurt and rage were threatening to spill from my eyes and my voice was empty and dead as I said, "You are hail, and healthy, go to Rin and Jaken and leave me in peace. I can no longer stand the sight of you." I couldn't look at up as I moved past him once more and this time he didn't follow me. I marched the whole day and into the night not bothering to make camp when my legs were to tired to carry me. I just fell into an exhausted sleep next to my pack on the ground.

The next morning I gathered some berries and ate them on the go as I continued my directionless trek. My anger had receded, and I missed Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un terribly but Sesshomaru's aura had been gone for almost an entire day, and I still couldn't bear to spend another minute alone with him. _I won't deny that I care about him too, his attitude and abrasive ways have grown on me, but if he can't find it in him to trust me after all this time then I'm better off on my own. _Yet the more distance I put between where I left him and myself, the more his memory haunted me. His scent, the feel of his arm around my shoulder, his hand in mine, his body pressed against me as we trudged, his voice against my back when I fell, his chuckle, His cold glacial stare, his elusive smile… I saw them all as I walked and I felt like I had just left a friend's funeral.

In a blue funk I trudged on, stopping briefly to pick some berries along the way and relieve myself I made my gloomy way west. As the sun began to set I thought, _He should have reached Rin and Jaken today. God, let them be ok now._ It was the closest I'd come to a prayer since I'd come to this curious and bizarre world and as I curled up next to my fire I thought, _I wish I had that stupid boa now._ It was absurd, but it made me cry myself to sleep.

The next two days ran together. As I unenthusiastically made camp that night I thought I felt his aura close. I had, had many such lonely; hope induced hallucinations in my prolonged solitude and I ignored it as I settled down to my fire. Staring into the depths I found myself singing for the first time in my four days alone. Perversely the first song to come to my lips was 'Beautiful Disaster' and as I finished I burst into painful broken sobs.

An icy voice spoke from the nearby darkness, "You deceived me twice, ningen." Cold, unfeeling and utterly familiar his voice washed over me and stopped my tears as if they'd been frozen. I stared wordlessly into the darkness where the sound had emanated.

"How so?" I asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Once when you told me you did not know the words to that tune, and again when you led me to believe the lyrics were of an unsavory nature. They are nothing of the sort." He remarked as he stepped smoothly into the glow of the firelight. He was a vision of arctic beauty against the dark night, the ghost that had hounded my every waking breath for four days.

"All right, I admit to my pettiness. Now would you explain why you are here? Or better yet just leave." I let the hurt and anger I still felt color my voice as I turned way from him to stare at the fire and hug my legs closer to me in my misery.

"If it were up to me, I would abandon you to your folly in an instant, yet Rin and Jaken will give me no peace on the matter. It seems they believe I have a duty to protect you." His voice had come closer and I knew he was standing less than a foot from me, but I refused to look up.

"Sounds like you have a problem. You should go back to them and deal with it. I was enjoying my peace." I replied scornfully.

"So those were tears of joy you I saw you shedding a moment ago, ningen?" his breath was warm against my ear as he whispered the rebuke into it and I jumped away from the intimate contact like someone burned.

My heart pounding I scrambled to my feet and whirled on him, "You threaten me, wound me, insult, annoy and rebuke me and now you must haunt me and upset me as well? I have told you before that I am tired of your games. I've withstood all I can for love of Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un but between you and Byakuya I am finished. I'm nothing more than a mortal woman and do not have the wherewithal to take anymore abuse you yokai freaks have to throw my way."

He moved near me and expecting his usual physical rebuke I stood my ground and glared angrily into his eyes. "I have misjudged you, ningen, on many occasions. You have been quick to point out my folly in this, and you are right to do so." He was inches from me and when his hand came out I expected it to circle my neck, but instead it slowly brushed my stray hair from my eyes as he looked down into my face thoughtfully. "I owe you an apology for my reaction a few days past, you are no enemy of mine, and if you were, I would surly be in dire peril." A small smirk curved his lips, as his hand came to rest on my wounded shoulder, "You have shown more fortitude, courage and strength than any, ningen I have ever encountered. You are intelligent, yet not wise and you continue to surprise me at every turn. I am unaccustomed to asking anything from anyone. However, I am in your debt twice over and I will therefore ask your forgiveness for the slight I have done you, and request that you return to the others with me so that we may continue our journey."

I shook my head in wonder as I took a step back; his hand slid from my shoulder at my retreat and fell limply to his side. "I think I'm the one that needs to apologize, Sesshomaru-sama, Jaken and Rin must be driving you to truly desperate ends if you are willing to use such flowery coercion to expedite my return."

"Indeed." He responded coolly. With a heavy sigh I went to the fire and pouring the contents of my water bottle on it I picked up my pack and turned to him in the pale moonlight. He was a radiant silver prince in the shimmering glow, _This is truly the light that suites him best_.

" I believe that whatever retribution you deserve for the insult you gave me has been repaid twice over by the misery Rin and Jaken have doled out to you in my absence. So unless you are fatigued I suggest we leave, I don't relish the idea of another night without a blanket in this chilling weather." My satirical remark was greeted with a shimmering mist around his feet and I realized that we would not be walking to the others. Hastily I stepped to his side as we rose into the evening sky.

Flying at night was even more magical that flying by day. Among the stars with the moon to illuminate the world it was a shimmering paradise and Sesshomaru was a radiant seraph that belong there. I couldn't deny to myself that I was elated to be with him again_ God, I'm really am an idiot_, I thought ruefully. _Damn it's really cold up here!_ I shivered from the freezing wind and his boa again twisted around me on it's own accord. _Even the creepy self-propelled furry snake is comforting_; I let a small smile touch my lips and gazed contentedly down at the silvery world as it rushed bellow us.

It was still evening when we alighted in the courtyard of a towering manor house. As I stepped form the quickly dissolving mist the boa slid from my shoulders and regained its position on its master's shoulder. I made two solitary steps onto the flagstones before a joyous Rin flung herself into my arms babbling a mile a minute. Jaken was directly behind her expressing his exultation in a barrage of crabby grousing and censures and my ears began to ring from the chatter. "Enough! If you two don't calm down this second I'm going back to the serenity of the woods!" The threat was issued at the top of my voice, but I was smiling broadly and they quieted as I let them each to take my hands and lead me inside.

Sesshomaru trailed the mobile festival into a warm room containing a sumptuous bed with elegant hanging curtains, and a table laden heavily with rice, broiled fish, pudding, melons and plums. I smiled warmly and said, "My it's a veritable feast! Who should I thank for this, Rin?" Rin blushed but quickly answered.

"Rin caught the fish, but Jaken-sama helped get the fruit and gather the herbs so we could cook the food just like you showed me. Do you really like it?"

I raised a teasing eyebrow, "You were so sure of your master's success you went to all this trouble before you knew if I would actually agree to come back?"

Rin's face fell and Jaken took up the defensive, "Of course Sesshomaru-sama would not fail to bring you back, Donella-sama, this is where you belong after all, with us!" I felt a swell of emotion clog my throat into uselessness as I knelt and pulled them both into a crushing group hug.

I could not hold back a few tears of real joy as I mumbled foolishly, "All right, you win, I swear I will never leave either one of you again."

The sappy reunion was cut short by a calculating voice behind us, "Your food is rapidly cooling; I doubt it tastes the same cold."

Rin jumped eagerly away at that, "Sesshomaru-sama is right! You must be very hungry Donella-sama please come eat with us!" I wasn't given much of a choice as she took my hand and began to drag me towards the table. I didn't have to look to know that Sesshomaru had left; I felt him go and I was irrationally sadden by it.

Fighting the momentary melancholy I smiled at Rin and asked, "So, tell me what happened after you left me." The tale was long in the telling and apparently they had stayed around for most of my fight with the mushi, and later returned to find my sword in the monster's throat. It was Rin who decided that since there was no body I must have gone somewhere with Sesshomaru. She had spent her energy reassuring Jaken of this, since he was just as convinced the creature had devoured me whole.

He seemed very impressed by my actions before and during the battle, and his sycophantic deference to my heroic skill and sacrifice was beginning to grate on my nerves. _I may have to beat that out of him. If I let it go it might get as bad as his compulsive obsequiousness towards Sesshomaru. _The idea of the rude little toad following me around and declaring everything I did amazing and perfect made me shudder with repulsion. _Definitely a severe beating if it doesn't clear up in a weak. _Yet in all it was good to be back and when I visited Ah-Un later that night even the dragon gave me happy nuzzles with both his heads, as they made contented crooning noises.

I found that the room we had, had dinner in was intended to be mine, and according to Jaken it was the second best in the entire manor. _Meaning I have the lady's room and Sesshomaru has the lord's. How very ironic._ I thought as I settled into the fluffy bed for some much needed rest. It didn't take long for the lavish blankets and soft futon to work their magic. As I drifted to sleep I dreamily thought, _I hope we stay here a while, it's so nice to be warm and comfortable for a change. I wonder where the bath is._

_**Author's Notes: HEHE Two chapters in two days hopefully the increased volume has no diminished the quality. And I'm sorry for saying Inuyasha shows in chapter 8 when I meant 9, someone told me I had to make it longer! (You know who you are) ;)**_

_**A note on the name: I use Inuyasha when his friends talk about him and Inu-Yasha when Donella writes because the second would be a literal translation for any English speaker and I think his friends would run it together due to excessive use hence, Inuyasha, like when sub title people write it. If it's too confusing I can make it go away though. :)**_

**_Some translation:_**

**_Kaze no Kizu: _****_wind scar_**

_**Domo arigato gozaimashita: Very formal 'Thank you very much' addressed to someone of higher social standing.**_

_**Thanks to:**_

_Tootsiepop254**: For all of your cheerfulness, eager excitement and especially for listening while I ranted about my job, burns and life in general! You are the tops, you Evil Genius you!**_

_Feathergriffin**: Yay, thanks so much! Your tongue-tied praise lifted my day!**_

_Arvael:** Your enthusiasm keeps me going thanks for your positive remarks and exuberance!**_

_WanderingHitokiri:** I hope that I can keep you laughing, that means I wrote it right! Thanks so much!**_

_Black Angel of Envy:** I hope my description of Donella fit what you had in mind, I wrote that part in for you! Thanks for making me think about what she looks like! **_

_**And to all those who are reading and not leaving reviews, I hope you're enjoying it!**_

_** :D**_


	10. Sick as a Dog

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll, they are used here without permission… I sold the Dodge to a junk yard for $100 which I spent on groceries… I'm almost certain no one wants the resulting materials. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 10: Sick as a Dog

_Dear Alice, _

_Be what you would seem to be, or if you'd like it put more simply: Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise._

_-The Duchess_

As it turned out, we spent a week at the manor, but only because I became seriously ill. The scratches Sesshomaru had left on my arm, while not severe, had gone unattended during my melancholy and became infected. When Rin came to help me pack for our journey that morning she found me desperately applying antibiotic ointment to the swollen and discolored wounds and delirious with a dangerously high fever. It wasn't long before everyone had been alerted and I was forced back to my bed. I don't remember much of my convalescence. I was forced to drink several cups of some awful tasting tea, Rin brought me flowers and sang to me, Jaken whined a lot, and through out it all the constant presence of Sesshomaru.

When I finally came to my senses and opened my eyes it was to a pitch-black room that was as silent as a tomb. _Late, past midnight, _My internal clock told me and I struggled to sit. A pale hand shot out from the darkness near my pillow and pushed me pack down onto the bed. I gasped in surprise and struggled against the restraint weakly.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded in a weary rage.

"Donella-san, you should be resting, you are ill." I stopped struggling at the sound of Sesshomaru's impassive voice _That's the first time he's said my name. It sounds nice._ The unreasonable thought was banished from my mind as quickly as it had come.

"I believe the appropriate form of address is, ningen, Sesshomaru-sama. We are not yet on affable enough terms for you to address me by my proper name." My voice was weak and scratchy from dehydration, but I still managed to make it sound haughty. He made a wordless noise as he withdrew his hand into the darkness, "The illness is past." I remarked as I finally succeeded in wrestling myself into a sitting position. He remained unmoving in the darkness, and silent.

Intent on water I carefully I pushed myself to the edge of the bed, the action seemed to take me an exhausting eternity but I finally accomplished it. After a short rest, and using the bedpost for support I managed to stand shakily at its foot. _I must look like a real fool to him right now; to hell with him anyway he shouldn't be here in the first place._ The indignant irritation fueled me and I moved from the support of the bed to the open room intent on reaching the table near the fire where the water jug rested.

Even though the room was incredibly warm the temperature difference from the heavily blanketed bed and open air made me shiver a little in my flimsy yukata. The involuntary action almost cost me my fragile balance and I stumbled, but my pride wouldn't allow me to fall with Sesshomaru watching. Doggedly I stumbled forward. It took me an eternity to reached the table and when I did, I fell against it, grateful for the support. After a restful, panting moment, I managed to slump into the adjacent chair.

I was drained from my exertion and sat breathing heavily for a time before I reached for the jug and gulped it's contents dry. _That cost me too much. I think I'll just live in this chair forever; the bed is far too remote a destination to return to. Yep, forget about the bed, this chair is quite comfy. I think I'll spend the next two hundred years right here._ Mind made up, I drift off to sleep again, but that pesky dog in the corner wouldn't let me be.

"Baka, ningen. You have over exerting yourself." The words reached me slowly through a film of exhaustion, but the impossibly strong arm that inserted itself just above me knees, jolted me awake.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I exclaimed as he quickly positioned my back to rest against his shoulder and deftly lifted me from the chair. Like a baby cradled in its father's arms he carried me back to the bed, _Yeah if I was adopted and my father was a grizzly bear. Crazy that he can do that so easily with only one arm, God I'm tired. He smells good._ My thoughts ran together in exhausted incoherency but that didn't stop my weak protests or even feebler blows to his chest with my fist. "Put me down I wanted to be in the chair! You great, over grown lummox! You can't just bully me like this..." He continued to ignore my ranting as he placed me back onto the bed and threw the blankets over me.

It took me a few seconds of struggling before I managed to pull the muffling comforter from my head, and by then my energy and rage had almost completely abandoned me. Panting from my exertion I remarked with weak skepticism, "This is payback isn't it?"

"If you wish to believe me that vindictive, then you are free to do so." He was seated again in the chair at my bedside and his detached response from the darkness irked me.

"If I wasn't so damn tired, I would have a few disrespectful things to say to you, but as it is, I can't bring myself to waste the time or energy to think them up right now." I mumbled as my eyes drifted shut and I felt sleep dragging me down. _Wait, I was going to order him to leave… _I thought to the ghost of slumber, but it paid me no mind as it carried me away.

When next I woke it was early afternoon and Rin was sitting next to me on the bed watching me attentively and he was gone. "Donella-sama! Your fever is gone and you are awake! Rin is so happy. Do you need help to the chamber pot again? I got you some water. How are you feeling? Jaken-sama and Sesshomaru-sama were really worried about you. Jaken-sama cried and cried thinking you were going to die and Sesshomaru-sama barely ever left your bedside. He made Rin your nurse though, and I helped you use the chamber pot, and made willow tea and got you water when you were thirsty." She made a funny scowling face, "Rin also made you fish broth, but it didn't smell as good as yours and you didn't really want to eat it, but I could make you some more if you'd like some, or rice if your hungry…" I help up a weak hand to fend off the barrage of words and she immediately clutched it tightly with both of hers, "What is it? Aren't you all right, Donella-sama?" She cried in alarm.

I gave her an insubstantial smile, "I'm weak, Hotaru, but I will surely live, thanks to your diligent ministrations." I gave her hands a feeble squeeze.

"She giggled brightly and blushed, "I think someday, Rin would like to be a healer and know a lot about herbs like you Donella-sama. That way if you or Jaken-sama or Ah-Un gets ill, Rin can help them get better."

I smiled again, "You are well on your way, my dear. So far you have managed to help both Jaken-sama and I." I looked at her thoughtfully, "I believe I will try to get a bit more rest and let my body catch up to my brain," A yawn escaped me and she giggled, "But if you would cook some rice and wake me when it is done I would be very grateful."

She clapped her hands together, "Sure thing Boss!" she declared in an imitation of my own sardonic manner as she bounded off the bed and flew from the room. _I really love that kid,_ I thought as I slipped off to sleep with a fond smile.

Jaken was the next to wake me. A teary-eyed look on his face, steaming bowl of rise in his hands and a fractious looking Rin behind him, "Oh Donella-sama I am so glad you are well, I had forgotten that you are just a frail, ningen, I don't know what Rin would do if you died, she was beside herself with worry…"

"Jaken, what have you done to make Rin angry with you?" I interjected quickly to save myself from his unending diatribe. The little toad looked sheepish but immediately jumped to the defensive.

"The little runt wouldn't allow me to show her how to make rice properly…" He clutched the bowl in self-righteously indignation. I held up a silencing hand.

"How did you two ever manage to get along without me? Jaken, you are older and supposedly wiser than she is, maltreatment is not the way to rectify someone's behavior." _It's like I never left, I even missed their squabbling, _I sighed, "The rice smell delicious, both of you." I pushed myself into a sitting position and gave them an encouraging smile, "It would be a shame for me to die of starvation right after killing a mushi and combating a fever. Do you intend on letting me eat it, Jaken, or am I to gain my sustenance my staring at it longingly?"

The kappa blinked stupidly before shoving the bowl into my hands, "Yes of course you must be very hungry, are you cold? I could bring you more blankets…" I kindly placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Jaken, I'm going to live, please stop worrying." I ate a few mouthfuls of the rice before my empty stomach began to protest the sudden influx of food and I handed the still full bowl to Jaken and said, "It was very good, but I will have to eat more later, it would not do me any good to eat myself sick."

Rin eagerly hopped onto the bed and settled in at my side, "Donella-sama, will you have to be in bed a very long time like Rin was when her stomach got hurt?" With such an obviously ridiculous question I waited a moment for Jaken to jump in and brow beat her for being silly, and I was surprised when he didn't. _He's usually all over stuff like that with a 'Rin don't be foolish', but then maybe he doesn't know how long it takes human's to heal and a belly wound and an infected cut could all be the same to him…_ I smiled at Rin, "I wasn't hurt nearly as bad as you were, Hotaru, it was just a silly infection. If I get a lot of rest today, I should be able to move around a little tomorrow, and be ready to travel in the next two or three days." I kept the look on my face encouraging and she beamed back at me.

"Well then, Jaken-sama and I will make sure you aren't bothered anymore, so you can get lost of rest!" she declared leaping from the bed, and turning gave a deep bow, "sleep well Donella-sama," The adult pose was spoiled by her giggling as she grabbed a handful of Jaken's kimono and dragged him protesting from the room. _Peace at last._ I smiled to myself as I closed my eyes intent on more sleep, but though my body was tired, my mind would not let me rest as it puzzled over the past two weeks. Like a child picking at a scabbed knee, I couldn't let the sore spot in my heart be.

_Why does his continued mistrust surprise me so much? Sesshomaru. He spends so little time interacting with us, but he is the center of this whole crazy band. What did he hope to gain by all that flattery? 'You are no enemy of mine, and if you were, I would surly be in dire peril,' in dire peril of what? _An image of him standing tall and proud in glowing moonlight came quickly to my mind and I sighed, _God! He's gorgeous, but he's also creepy, self-centered, wholly self-serving, and a complete waste of my time. All of which out weighs physical beauty by a mother load, _I was quick to remind myself, but once conjured the vision of him wouldn't fade.

'_You have shown more fortitude, courage and strength than any, ningen I have ever encountered. You are intelligent, yet not wise and you continue to surprise me at every turn_.' _How dare he think that pretty words would win me! I swear he said all that just to make me go crazy thinking it all out. Manipulative, twofaced, bastard!_ _Why did I let him win so easily? Why did I let his flowery words sway me? I should have kicked him in the nards…_ Eventually I managed to drift off to sleep, as I mentally yelled curses and threw fish heads and the fabricated apparition of my angst.

The next morning I awoke with more energy, a ravenous appetite and a desperate need for a bath. Leaving my bed I found that my legs were still weak from the illness, but they held my weight as I searched the room for my cloths and bath things. I found my kimono and obi hung neatly on a peg by the door. They smelled freshly of my soap and I wondered who had laundered them during my illness. _God knows after four days in the woods without a bath it smelled none to fresh when I arrived here. Speaking of none to fresh._ I returned to my now urgent mission as I gathered my medicine bag from the hearth, my kimono and obi from the peg and ventured out into the hallway in search of a bath.

As I let the sound of running water be my guide I was grateful that they had chosen the ladies room for me, the bath was only a few doors away and easy to find. I quickly stripped my dirty yukata off, and using nearby buckets, I scrubbed the worst of the funk from my body before stepping into the heavenly delight of the bath. Idly I examined my now healing wounds. The claw marks Sesshomaru had left on my shoulder were still angry wheels, but the reddened, scabbing skin showed no sign of further infection and were shallow enough not to cause any permanent damage, _but they will leave scars as these others will._ The burn in my thigh was now nothing more than tender healing skin. I couldn't see the cuts the fight with the mushi had left on my shoulder, but my exploring fingers felt that it too was nearly healed.

I soaked in the steaming bath for a long time before scrubbing and soaking again. My skin and scalp were raw with my efforts but I felt more refreshed by the time my empty stomach drove me to dress. As I tied my obi securely a stray thought occurred to occupy my mind as I searched for the kitchen, _who in the world undressed me and put me in the yukata?_ I searched my foggy fever damaged memory for the answer, but was still clueless when I finally discovered the kitchen as well as Rin and Jaken.

"Donella-sama you're up!" The little girl cheered as she threw herself into my arms forcing me to drop my bag and catch her. The impact caused me to lose my balance and I tumbled to the floor, child and all. Jaken immediately began reprimanding Rin for her stupid exuberance and his acidic words brought her near tears.

Laughing I gave her a rough squeeze, "Both of you, I'm no porcelain doll, I just fell down. Rin's enthusiastic welcome has made me feel better than any magic pill or willow tea. I appreciate your concern Jaken and I am deeply touched by it, but if you don't stop acting like I am made of glass I will be forced to disprove your notion of my frailty by pummeling you within an inch of your sycophantic life." The threat was hollow but apparently I was the only one who knew it, Jaken immediately changed his tack.

"That will not be necessary, Donella-sama, are you hungry would you like me to make you some rice, tea perhaps…" I waved a silencing hand.

"Rin help me up please, Jaken I would love both rice and tea, but I can manage it for myself, thank you." Rin eagerly bounded to her feet and began tugging me into an upright position.

"Nonsense, Donella-sama I made you angry, I insist on doing this for you. Rin help her to my chair this will take but a moment." The toad eagerly threw himself into the task of making rice, while I sat in the offered chair and Rin brought me up-to-date on the party's goings on; which translated into Sesshomaru's doings.

Apparently after my fever broke he ordered Jaken to take care of my every need and make sure that I did not cause myself more injury through, "dim-witted bravado" as we needed to quit the manor in three days time. I sighed, _This being day two I suppose I should pack before I go to bed tonight._ Jaken was also ordered to gather all necessary supplies from the manor and if possible locate some warm douchuugi's or shawls that would fit Rin and I, and some extra blankets, _So much for a warm place to stay through the cold weather._ I sighed.

Jaken chimed in as he placed a steaming bowl of rice before me and I began eating voraciously. "I have already fulfilled my lords request as far as supplies and attire are concerned, Donella-sama, all is in readiness for his return and our departure. As long as you are healthy enough to travel." I pushed the empty bowl away from me before answering him.

"I will be fit to travel tomorrow, Jaken, as long as the pace is not a taxing one, and it never seems to be, though I think I will avoid accosting any mushi or other yokai for a while yet." The statement caused a thought to occur to me and I was quick in asking Jaken, "In your exploration of the castle did you happen upon any weapons? I am not keen on remaining unarmed."

Jaken eagerly smiled and responded, "Oh yes, Donella-sama please I will show you." His insistent tug on my hand was the only encouragement as Rin and I followed him across the garden and into he adjacent dojo. Lining the walls on inset dowels were a variety of weapons on display, including over three-dozen swords.

I smiled down at Jaken's triumphant face, "Well done indeed, Jaken." He and Rin remained quiet as I tested several of the blades; many of them were poorly crafted even to my untrained eye. Others were to heavy or two long, but I finally settled on a black handled wakizashi that moved well in my hand and didn't weigh my arm down. With the weapon temporarily sheathed and resting in the sash of my obi we returned to the castle.

Jaken went to prepare Ah-Un for the next day's departure and Rin fell asleep in my bed as I packed my things, taking care to place the sword in easy reach and making sure my new-found hair ribbons were with my cloths. _I was right about the pocky, they both devoured it._ I thought with a warm smile over the memory.

Though my body wasn't fully recovered I was filled with a nervous energy and was not eager to return to the bed I had so recently managed to depart. I left it to Rin and restlessly roamed the halls of the manor looking for things that might be useful on our journey. The manor was shadowed and still, only being illuminated by infrequent beams of moonlight, the eerie silence made me feel like the only person on earth. The first room I came upon was a child's and I entered it hesitantly, feeling like an intruder.

The space showed evidence of a violent struggle. Tables, benches and toys lay in shattered pieces everywhere. As I hesitantly entered the room I saw a little girl's doll. Dressed in a pure white kakeshita kimono the doll's Uchikake was stained brown with blood. "Oh little bride, what happened to your family?" I asked the doll sadly as I idly ran a finger over the sinister mark.

My mind was filled with screaming and crashing then; I looked up in alarm to see the room, as it must have been that day, furniture whole, with the toys in boxes and on pegs. A little girl, no older than Rin, huddled under a bench clutching the bride doll close, shaking in fear. A filthy man in mismatched armor charged through the door with an evil laugh.

"Come out little rabbit, I fancy rabbit stew for my supper!" His laugh sent shivers down my spine and the little girl under the bench whimpered. The marauder's smile broadened as he advanced towards her hiding place. I heard myself cry out a warning, but no one heard it.

"Leave her be!" A girl of about sixteen stood behind the man now, she was wielding a battered, recently bloodied Naginata and trembling violently.

The child under the bench cried out, "Onee-chan!" Her voice was quivering with terror and it made my heart ache for them both.

The bandit turned on the girl with a sweeping blow of his sword. The girl blocked the strike with her Naginata and yelled to her sister, "Kazuko, Run! Find Osamu!" The little girl did not hesitate as her sister continued to fight the brigand. She fled for her life and the doll fell forgotten to the floor near the battling pair. The older girl landed a blow to the marauders arm forcing him to step back and slip on the doll, the girl pressed her advantage and took a deep wound to her thigh as he drove the Naginata's curved blade deep into the brigand's belly.

She stood for just a moment contemplating her work as her blood, unnoticed, flowed from her leg and marred the doll's Uchikake. A noise behind her was the only warning as one of the dead man's allies took his revenge. I cried out in anguish and rage as the sword went cleanly through her back and out her chest. She fell upon the lifeless body of her own victim and did not move again as the vision faded from my eyes. I was once more alone in a broken room, clutching a blood stained doll, and sobbing as if my heart would burst.

"Oh God, this is truly a curse, please take these visions from me. They cause me nothing but pain, and strife and do no one any good." The prayer was whispered to the doll, but the answering voice beside me was a far more familiar one.

"Perhaps you truly are a mad woman, to see things that are not there and weep for them." Sesshomaru's icy voice helped the tears freeze, unshed, in my eyes and for once I was grateful, for his mordant company.

"My Gran called it the second sight." I whispered through the pain in my chest, "No one ever believed her when she told them how she knew something, but she would often tell people things that they would not credit until after. Like when a person was going to die, or when they would become ill or to avoid a willow trees tomorrow else a falling branch will harm you. She also said walls and items spoke to her, telling her secrets of their past. She was never wrong, and it was a bit unnatural, but I don't think anyone ever believed she had a real gift." I continued to stare sightlessly at the doll clutched in my white knuckled hands. "Why me, why now?" A memory from my childhood came unbidden to my mind, _'Daniel, young Donella is a very special one. It is good she is named for a ledged, names hold power and she will do great and amazing thinks. Mark me, she has the gift.'_

"My father didn't believe it then, and I don't want it to be true now." I removed the bloodstained Uchikake from the doll and let garment fall to the floor.

"Do not look for sympathy from me, ningen." I laughed at the impassive words as I stood and finally looked in his direction.

"Don't worry, Sesshomaru-sama, I would sooner expect to wring tears from granite." With the battered doll in hand, I made my thoughtful way back to my room. I placed the doll on top of my packed belongings next to my sword. Crawling into bed next to Rin I fell into an exhausted and dreamless slumber.

I was putting the doll into my pack the next morning when Rin asked about it. "Donella-sama she's so pretty, where did you find her?" She fingered the white silk of the dolls kimono with a child's obvious yearning.

"She was hiding from bandits in a dark room last night and I rescued her. Do you like her?" Rin gave me a hopeful nod, and I handed her the doll, "You need to take very good care of Kazuko, Rin, her family is gone now and she needs someone to look after her and keep her safe from more bandits." Rin clutched the little doll close and I hoped the real Kazuko had found Osamu and was safe.

"I will, Donella-sama, just like Sesshomaru-sama takes care of Rin!" She announced with a fiercely determined look. I gave her an affectionate hug.

"I have no doubt about that, Hotaru, now help me with these blankets I'm sure Sesshomaru-sama is eager for us to leave."

The next few days of travel were exhausting for me. Both Rin and Jaken were constantly badgering me about my health and I pushed myself to hide the fatigue from them. My recovery was slow, even though I rode Ah-Un's back regularly; it took me half a month to get enough energy back to resume a semblance of my earlier routine. Yet I still left the camp every night with my sword, even though after dishes and a bath I had no energy to wield it, and I still sang songs and told stories to Rin when I returned.

In spite of it all, I was again practicing my rusty katas with my new weapon and beginning to feel more like my old self by what I reckoned was mid-October. Sesshomaru remained with the group constantly which, in itself, was unusual and he also began joining us at the fire as I told my stories which was astounding. However, his anomalous behavior had not yet reached its pinnacle there.

It was a few days shy of the full moon and I was practicing my katas in a clearing away from the camp when I felt his aura suddenly appear nearby. _He must have been running for it to be that strong so suddenly, _I thought as I paused in my practice. Lowering my weapon I turned towards him. He remained invisible to me in the shadow of the trees, yet due to our prolonged companionship or my blossoming supernatural abilities, I knew where he was and I silently stared into the shadow waiting for him to speak.

It took a long time; my body began to cool from my exertion and the drying sweat in the frigid air made me shiver before he finally stepped into the light and said, "You're motions are too precise, your cuts are fluid, but without a sparing partner to show you your weaknesses you technique will never improve."

"I thank you for the advice, Sesshomaru-sama, did you venture out this way to critique my swordsmanship or is that just that beginning of a list? Perhaps there are other defects of which I am unaware that you would like to expound upon?"

"There are a great deal, ningen, but that is not my intention."

"Well I am relieved that you don't currently plan on listing them all, since the night is chill and I would like to indulge in the warm bath Jaken so painstakingly provided before his efforts are wasted." I sheathed my sword and picked up my bath things as I moved in the direction of the manufactured hot spring.

"Watch yourself, ningen, I am not finished conversing with you." _So he's in the mood to play the lordling again?_ Heaving a longsuffering sigh I turned back to face him.

"And to what do I owe the honor?" My tone was annoyed, my words were flippant and my glare was a borderline challenge.

"You try my patience, ningen." His icy warning did nothing to cool my irritation.

I crossed my arms over my chest hugging my buddle tightly, "I am sorry, Sesshomaru-sama, I am just trying to steel myself for more unfounded accusations or incongruous maltreatment of my character. Please, forgive me if I sound defensive or discourteous." There was no change in his manner to gage if the venom in my words struck home, but I was please with the acidic remarks nonetheless.

"An open mouth often catches a closed fist, ningen." My antipathy dissolved at the bizarre repetition of my own words I let my parcel call to the ground beside me and I slowly sat on the cold earth.

"Even the devil can quote scripture. I suppose throwing my own words back at me is less biblical, but no less fitting. What is it that you have to say to me, Sesshomaru-sama?" my voice was tired now that is was drained of it's malice.

"If you insist on risking your life needlessly, I would be remise in my assurance to Rin if I allowed you to do it so ill prepared." I raised an inquisitive eyebrow in his direction but remained quite, and he eventually continued, "It is obvious that, against my better judgment, ningen, you will continue to fight where you should instead run and hide. Therefore my honor demands I see that you can at least hold off an opponent tolerably until some aid can be provided."

I watched him for several minutes as he stood regally in the moonlight while I considered his condescendingly munificent proposal. _Cold as death itself, and yet just below the surface, so much boiling rage. He could snap me like a twig. _"I appreciate that you rarely do anything without a great deal of forethought, Sesshomaru-sama. I find you're offer is quite generous, however, I would make a very fragile student for you instruction, and I do not wish to be injured by you so soon after the last wounds have healed."

"You attempt shame me, ningen, with your barbs of false accusations and injury." The words were a question, but his toneless reply made it more of a derisive statement "Draw your sword." _Awe shit_, I stood but I held my hands out and away from my weapon.

"Sesshomaru-sama we have been over this once before I do not wish to fight you, no matter what the reason." He didn't bother replying. A ferocious growl was my only warning as he rushed me with an unnatural speed. Like the last time my sword practically drew itself and I let my instinct take over as the white blur continued its assault. His deflecting blows against my blade were not as severe as I had expected, but they still made my arms ache from their intensity.

As I threw my energy into defending myself from his onslaught, it became obvious that he was intentionally holding back. Yet after only a few moments he finally landed a blow to my shoulder that sent me rolling across the clearing. _Rin's said his sword wouldn't cut living flesh, but still it's going to leave one hell of a mark._ He again stood motionless in the clearing as I collected myself and gingerly inspected my throbbing arm. "Christ! The same arm! Now I have unsightly scratches and a giant welt! Gah, you are un-freaking-believable! What the hell was that supposed to prove anyway?" I angrily climbed to my feet and glared bloody murder at the stoic yokai as I sheathed my sword once more and glowered at him with my fists clenched in rage.

"You are not as slow as I expected, but you must learn to do more than just defend yourself if you intend on being effectual against a true opponent. We will continue tomorrow evening." He turned to leave, but my anger was not yet spent.

"You could have seriously injured me and all you can say is, 'We will continue tomorrow evening' I refuse to draw my sword against you again, Sesshomaru-sama, this is a pointless endeavor." I yelled at his receding back and I was forced to take a retreating step as he quickly moved to stand in front of me and meet my own malicious gaze with blazing molten gold.

"Baka, ningen, I understand enough about you now to know that if you were truly injured you would not be yelling like a malcontent harridan. You would foolishly pretend the wound was minor and hide it until it festered. As for this 'endeavor' it proved precisely what I wished it to prove. I am capable of landing a blow upon your person with out serious injury. Though you are not as incompetent as I first suspected, you are yet in dire need of instruction, we will continue your training tomorrow evening," He turned to go and as he left me he called back, "I will have Jaken reheat the water for your bath, warmth will help diminish the abrasion and sooth the ache." _Damn it, again he's left me speechless in a field. _I ground my teeth in annoyance,_ Sesshomaru three, Donella one. The score may be in your favor, you pompous over grown poodle, but it's still nowhere near the final round and I will best you yet._

_**Author's Notes: Wow so many people to thank for this chapter! **_

_Tootsiepop254: **Always at the top of the list girl, you're conversation keeps me going and though sometimes life sucks, you are there to remind me of the difference between being cynical and being SMART! Suki would give you steamed turnip soup, all I have is a crappy dedication.**_

_Feathergriffin:** I love character interaction, but if Donella didn't keep getting herself into danger how can I ever make Sesshomaru her hero. Don't worry more conversations to come. ;) And thanks for the fluffything theory it was just a lot of fun to read.**_

_Avael:** Thanks so much for the enthusiasm it really keeps me trying harder to impress you all. :)**_

_InuDstories:** Brief as always, but your reviews are well appreciated.**_

_Wandering Hitokiri:** Writing those scenes was way to much fun for me and I was trying not to be malicious, however your hilarity was worth every jab and kick, thank you and I hope to keep you smileing.**_

_Waterlilykitty:** Wow for all your comments thank you so much! I am glad that someone out there appreciates my verbosity as well as my diarrhea of the keyboard. I sometimes feel I am adding to much detail, but as chapter nine proves, when I cut back it all feels rushed. So no more of that. **_

_Sohnaka:** I am please and delighted that you have reviewed my new pet project so enthusiastically. Also please don't worry, 'For Amalie's Love' is just on hiatus while I polish the final chapters. Thank you for reading!**_

_Moonprincess: **Thank you for your review and I hope you keep reading, and thank you for the disambiguation on the tail. For future reference do you remember which manga number that was?**_


	11. Fight or Slight

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll, they are used here without permission… I sold the Dodge to a junk yard for $100 which I spent on groceries… I'm almost certain no one wants the resulting materials. The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 11: Fight or Slight

_Dear Alice, _

_Serpents! Serpents everywhere! Night and day serpents! There's no pleasing them! I've not slept in three days. GIVE ME BACK MY EGGS! SERPENTS!_

_-Mother Pigeon_

I left my sword in the camp the next evening as I went about my chore of cleaning the dishes, but in my heart I knew it wouldn't be that simple. "Ningen, I will not be dissuaded so easily." I sighed as I sat the pan I had been rinsing on the riverbank and stood up to face him.

I kept my voice calm and low as I addressed him, "Sesshomaru-sama, I respect your wish to do this, but I will not draw my sword against you." I expected him to argue with me, but he quietly approached me and pressed my sword in my hands.

"Jaken and Ah-Un were powerless against the Mushi; I was preoccupied by Byakuya, only your actions gained them enough time to take Rin to safety. Luck is the only reason you did not die that day, I offer you the chance to make your continued survival rest on skill." _Well what do you say to that?_ I wondered as I stared down at the impassive weapon.

I placed my sheathed sword into the sash of my obi and quietly walked into the clearing. Taking a defensive stance I wordlessly drew my blade and waited. So began my nights off bruising abuse and my days of walking through endless abrasions and muscle aches.

Incongruous to his volatile nature he was a good teacher. By the time snow began to fall I had learned to defend myself against his swift attacks well enough that I had to tire before he could land a blow. I also could manage to attack as often as I blocked, though, I still had not successfully struck his person. Perhaps it is the confined nature of caves, or my own restless soul, but I found that as winter nights became longer, sleep became harder to find. So as my body adjusted to the new muscles I had to develop in my swordsmanship, I often found myself stepping out into the early winter nights, despite the chill, to walk off my nervous energy before finally finding sleep.

Wrapped in a hooded cloak I stared up into the moonless sky and thought about where my life had taken me. _Learning sword fighting from an Inu-Daiyoukai in the feudal era, while in a constant quest to find other yokai to kill. While those same yokai try to kill you._ I sighed,_ Byakuya, if he is an incarnation of this Naraku then we may be in some serious trouble. Though let us not let on to the high and mightily Sesshomaru-sama that he may be out numbered. Least of all suggest that his 'worthless' brother and his friends may be able to help._ I started walking again lost in my thoughts, _From what I hear from Rin, Jaken and that old Miko the Tenseiga and Tessaiga are obviously more powerful in tandem, but what the hell was their father thinking to believe that would ever happen? _I chuckled darkly, _Though, if I ask Sesshomaru about it I should probably write my will first. _That thought made me laugh out loud, _My will. What do I own worth bequeathing? _My jumbled thoughts where halted by my walking into something solid and my eyes focused on an all to familiar breastplate.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! That is extraordinarily tiresome!" I cried as I rubbed my abused nose. The immovable object I'd run into refused to respond and so I finally looked up at him and prompted, "And you came all the way out here to do that because you where bored and find it just absolutely hilarious I'm sure."

"No." _Well duh?_

"Alright I give up guessing." I replied with a dismissive wave of my hand as I walked past him.

"You should not be roaming unarmed on a night such as this." _What the hell? _I let my hand drop to rest on the hilt of my wakizashi.

"I'm not unarmed." I replied, not bothering to slow my pace, but instead of leaving him behind, he fell into step beside me.

"Are you not troubled by the cold as Rin is? It preoccupied her all day." _What game are you playing now? I remembered one ill-fated ice fishing trip with my father to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan._

"I've been colder."

We continued to walk in silence, but the enjoyment was shattered by his curious presence and so I turned back. We were almost to the cave when he spoke again, "There is a castle two days hence; we shall winter there." _All the mystery to tell me that?_

"You could have saved yourself an hour's worth of trudging in the snow if you'd said that from the beginning." I remarked wearyingly.

"It was not unpleasant." He replied enigmatically as we entered the cave. I shook my head in confusion, but didn't want risk my voice echoing in the cavern and waking our companions to ask him what he meant. _Not that he would give me a straight answer anyway. _I thought sardonically as I shed my cloak and settled into the warm blankets next to Rin at Ah-Un's side.

The next day the snow began falling in earnest and the winds where so powerful that we couldn't see the rocks in front of the cave. As Rin and I dutifully packed the camp up, Sesshomaru eyed the weather keenly, while Jaken whined at him that we should wait the storm out right there. After twenty minutes of Jaken's complaining we were ready to leave and I was personally ready to kill the toad, but it was Sesshomaru's patience he was really trying, not mine. So I sat back and tried to enjoy the show.

"Sesshomaru-dono, please Rin and Donella-sama will freeze within the hour; they are only weak ningen…"

"Damare, Jaken we will just have to travel at a faster pace. Rin." Ignoring the frog's sniveling he turned to the little girl.

"Yes Sesshomaru-sama?" she hoped to attention before her master with her usual, giggling cheer.

"We are in need of haste in this storm, it will worsen. You and Jaken shall ride Ah-Un. Wrap warmly."

"But what about Donella-sama?" She asked in childish alarm. _Yes, what of me, you megalomaniacal canine?_

"She will travel with me." He replied curtly as he stepped towards the cave mouth. _Say what?!_

Rin gave me an inscrutable look. "But Sesshomaru-sama…"

He let out an exasperated breath and cut her protest short, "She is too heavy for Ah-Un to carry with the further weight of Jaken and yourself. With that additional burden and the supplies, they would not be able to fly."

He strode from the cave. Jaken and I moved to follow as Rin gave me one last unfathomable look before covering her mouth in helpless giggles and tugging on Ah-Un's lead.

Even with my douchuugi and cloak, I found that I had to huddle close to Sesshomaru in order to stay remotely comfortable while airborne. I spent the time with my eyes squeezed shut against the icy wind, shivering uncontrollably and resisting the urge the physically wrap myself around the living heater at my side. _How the hell can he stay so warm? He must have molten lava running through his veins. Don't hug him, don't hug him, that way lays painful mutilation; don't hug him. Maybe if I were as cold and indifferent to everything around me I'd have a heat reserve too. He smells so good and his hair is so soft! _I shivered for reasons other than cold as the silky strands teased my cheek in the wind. _Different thoughts! NOW! Um, how much warmth is transferred from one person to the next in a hug, a smile, or a kind word? Can the temperature loss be measured in joules or calories? Can it be stored? _Thoughts of this nature distracted me for a while as we flew through the chill morning air, but it soon became tiresome as the chill seeped onto my bones and made even my thoughts numb.

Gratefully what would have been a two-day trip, however, last only a few hours. As we landed in a castle courtyard a little past noon I let out an appreciative sigh. My numb feet caused me to stumble away from Sesshomaru as I hurried to be away from the disturbingly intimate contact the journey had required. I pitched forward towards the ground and knew that my frozen body wouldn't react fast enough to keep me from hitting the icy flagstones. _How embarrassing, I hope I don't knock myself senseless._ I thought detachedly as I tumbled helplessly, and then I was snatched back from the bruising impact by the tie of my obi and dragged gracelessly to my feet. I turned my head, not trusting my legs and looked at my savoir.

Sesshomaru was already walking towards the castle's entrance, _and I figured he'd find me planting myself face first into the snow and stone amusing. Just when I think I've got him figured out, he proves he's still weirder and creepier than I suspect._ "Arigato gozaimashita, Sesshomaru-sama." I said softly as I moved to join the others. An imperceptible pause in his step was the only indication that his sensitive ears had heard me over the wind. _Naw, that's my imagination, _I thought cynically as I helped Rin clamber down from the dragon and started carrying items into the compound.

That night we ate together in castles common room, and though I didn't see him, I felt Sesshomaru's presence close. As I tucked Rin into bed and told her the story of 'Peter Pan' I glanced at the paper bound door several times, expecting to see his silhouette. Yet though his aura was near, I never saw so much as a shadow. It wasn't until I went looking for something to read that I saw him again.

I ventured into a shelf-lined study with a low table at its heart surrounded by ornate cushions. My hair was still damp from my bath and I was wearing a borrowed kimono with a garish red and orange pattern and tied with a black silk obi. I was immensely glad that Jaken was nowhere to be found; _The little toad would die of derision if he saw me in this get up. _

It became evident as I took a book of poetry from the shelf and sat on a cushion that my good luck had ended, "That color compliments your hair." I dropped my book in surprise as my heart jumped to my throat and I leaped to my feat.

His aura had been hovering close all day; I'd forced myself to ignore its incessant pull, _and now here he is making me jump out of my skin as he addresses from the gloomy corners. _"How someone as pasty as you can manage to conceal himself so thoroughly in the shadows is a trick ninja's would give their souls for." I grumbled as I turned magnetically to face the sound of his voice.

He made a noncommittal noise as he stepped into the lamplight and retrieved my book from the floor. I eyed the offered volume apprehensively before I slowly reclaimed it from his grasp. "It would cost them more dearly to learn it." He replied as I leaned against a shelf, crossed my arms and hugged the book to my chest. _Is that humor? _

"I'm sure you would still have a few pupils. Historically, assassins are always looking for ways to make their occupation less dangerous to themselves. Though the short cuts are often just as dangerous."

"Do you believe that I would truly be interested in such?" He asked folding himself down at the table. _Great, he thinks this is going to be a long conversation._ I followed his lead and sat before replying.

"What would such a lowly ningen as myself know about your interests?" _Leave me in peace._

"You are very presumptuous, for a ningen, I'm certain you have your own opinion."

"I may at that, Sesshomaru-sama, but I don't wish to bore you with it." I replied as I opened my book and let my eyes fall to the pages,_ Now leave._ The lamp moved away from the paper and I looked up in annoyance at the petty yokai who had pushed the lamp. _Petty, paltry princes pale to pretty piffling poodles…_

I smiled tightly at him as I laboriously closed my book, placed it on the table and folded my hands on the cover before giving him and long-suffering look. "Is there a reason you are disturbing my peace, or should I assume it to be part of your suspicious and rancorous nature?"

"Rancorous…" he chewed on the word for a introspective moment, "I am curious, ningen, why did Wendy send her daughter for spring cleaning even though Peter did not return for her as he said he would?" _I knew he was listening! _A triumphant voice chimed in my head and I chuckled out loud at my own childishness.

"I have never liked that part of the tale myself. Frankly if I'd been Wendy I wouldn't have left Neverland for anything. I would have railed at Peter for forgetting his promise for so long, and I would certainly not have allowed my daughter to go back in my place." I smiled sheepishly at my folded hands.

"If you do not approve of the heroine's actions, why did you tell the tale to Rin?" I looked up at him then and allowed my eyes to study the contours of his face as I answered.

"The outcome of any story is what the listener makes of it, the tale shouldn't be changed to fit them; it should convey something to alter that person. Peter Pan is a story about the unpleasantness of inevitable adulthood and growing older. It has its funny, happy moments, its drama and its romance, but those are only there so that no one looses interest before it reaches its moral. I may not like the ending personally, but it serves a function." A slight frown creased his alabaster features.

"Why must all your tales have a meaning to them? Life is not that explicit nor significant."

I smiled brightly, "Perhaps it is to make it more significant. Human life is often too short and too senseless. I find nothing wrong in attempting to find a meaning for it as long as one doesn't take any of it too seriously."

"It is evident from your actions, ningen, that you do not value your own life, but why would you teach Rin such an brainless ethic?" His voice was slightly angry and it caused my budding good humor to recede.

"You're wrong there, I do value my own life, but I also realize that it's a fleeting thing. What is eighty or ninety years to history? Hell what is it to you?" He quirked an eyebrow at me inquisitively and I laughed as I saw my own trick used against me. Smiling ruefully I continued, "In the passage of time I am nothing more than a fly on the pages of a history book. A human has limited options in the way they live their lives. We either fight to make a mark in history or we live for the enjoyment of living. Most of us split the difference and have families that we believe will carry on some trivial knowledge, teaching or endeavor we judge to be our legacy."

He thought about it for so long, staring not so much at me as through me, that I considered leaving him there and finding my bed, "What is your legacy?" I laughed a truly jovial laugh.

"My Gran would have said it was to protect the natural balance of things. To carry on the family mission or some such, but personally I doubt that I'll have children to remember me by, so I'll leave that to nieces and nephews. Honestly, I don't find the world even remembering my unremarkable passage through it."

"If you do not believe others will head your words or wonder about your life, why do you keep a written account of it?" _What is this? Yokai twenty questions?_ _Awe what the hell; at least he's not being an ass._

"Before I came here I kept it to track of my thoughts and impressions of things, incase I misinterpreted facts because of an emotional mistake. I continue to keep it so that I don't go crazy from the aberration that has become my life. If I write these preposterous events down they aren't as illogical and I can accept them…" I trailed off with a soft chuckle as I looked at my hands, "I'm not explaining myself very well."

Again there was protracted silence and this time I gathered my book and stood, meaning to leave the inquisitive yokai to his thoughts. "The fire light suits you, ningen." This time I laughed at the incongruous compliment as I looked down at him. _What's your game now?_

"I don't understand why you would say such a thing. I distrust such profligate and satirical words from anyone, Sesshomaru-sama. They are often false and more often meaningless, and from you they are…" I struggled to find a word for the disconcerting sensation fluttering in my breast, "incongruous, but I thank you nonetheless, and wish you a good evening." _What an odd, irregular and random creature._ I let a small smile cross my lips as I walked to the door,_ but tonight wasn't bad._

"Yoi yume o." his bizarre phrase caused me to pause a moment at the threshold, but hearing no further comments I left him. _Sweet dreams_,_ to you too, Sesshomaru-sama._

I wasn't really surprised when he was gone the next morning. Jaken was heartbroken that he was abandoned so soon after our arrival at the winter refuge and Rin spent the whole day alternating between reassuring the toad, and haranguing him. I retreated from the hullabaloo in order to explore our surroundings as Rin began singing, 'The Song that Never Ends' at top volume and Jaken screeched in pain, _That's my cue, exit stage left._

My first action of the day was to exercise my solitary katas in the guardhouse, and then I moved on to servant's wing of the castle. Rin found me just after dark in the abandoned laundry mixing scented oils for soap. Studiously watching beeswax and tallow melt together in a large vat. "There you are, Donella-sama!" She cried cheerfully as she bounded into the room. "Rin has been looking all over for you!"

I flashed her a happy smile before turning back to my work, "And now Rin has found me." I responded mildly.

"Did you make the soup Rin found in the kitchen, Donella-sama?" I nodded as I carefully poured the lye and water mixture into the melted tallow and beeswax. "It was delicious Donella-sama! What are you doing now?" She asked eagerly looking over my shoulder at the yellow goop I was stirring.

"I am making soap, Rin-chan. Is there any particular smell you want for yours?" She giggled happily as she danced away from the simmering pot.

"Sakura Blossoms, Donella-sama!" I laughed at the obvious answer.

"I will make that one of your Yule gifts then, Hotaru." I replied cheerily and she burst into exuberant laughter. I felt Sesshomaru's aura close and looked up to see his faint silhouette in the courtyard. _He's back sooner than I expected._

"That's your holiday where the little boy was born in t he stable so that the fat man gives good children presents right?" I laughed merrily as she drew me back to the conversation and way from my musings. _Well how else could a child born to Shinto interpret it? No matter how many times I explain that the stories are separate, she won't believe me._

"Sure, hon, that's it in a nutshell." I answered her distractedly as I pulled the vat from the fire, added the scented oils and deftly poured the rapidly cooling soap into the blocky bamboo molds. Setting the container aside to soak, I turned to Rin.

"Is there any of that soup left?" I asked eagerly rubbing my hands together as I slid the door to the courtyard open.

The girl giggled, "If Jaken-sama hasn't eaten it all."

I laughed at that and paused to ask her, "Hey, why don't we tell tonight's story in the common room so that Jaken can listen too?" She gave an eager nod of assent and then covered her mouth in mirthful laughter.

"And Sesshomaru-sama too!" she sniggered.

"Well that's up to him, silly goose. Hey!" I cried as she gave me a hard shove and yelled, "Tag, your it!" Before racing towards the castle.

I took off on her heels. Though I had had slightly longer legs, the child was quick and I had to work to gain on her. I had my hand out and was reaching for her kimono sleeve when I slammed into a familiar piece of armor. I growled in frustration as I looked up at the Inu-Daiyoukai. He stared down at me and ours eyes met as I continued to lean against him, and then a wicked thought occurred. Slapping the inflexible breastplate I cried, "You're it, no tag backs!" As I bounded a few feet towards the door.

"Rin." The cool voice gave me pause, _Oh no you don't! You will not punish her for my 'insolence' you overgrown, over inflated Pomeranian!_ I thought as I made to storm back to him and intercede.

But to my utter shock and Rin's giddy delight, he deliberately laid his hand on her shoulder and said haltingly; "You are now it, no tag backs." I watched the scene in stunned bemusement for only a moment as the anger evaporated. Then, the little imp grinned fiendishly at me as she charged forward. I let out a short scream of mock terror before pelting for the safety of the castle, and doors I could shut ahead of my petite pursuer.

That night, replete with vegetable soup we sat near the blazing hearth in the common room. Rin was cuddled up next to me, Jaken sat glowering into the fire and Sesshomaru loomed somewhere behind me in the shadows. I smiled at the absurd sense of normalcy that the setting provided me as I began my tale.

"Now, as you know, Danu is the mother of all the Tuatha De Danann and I've told you of the Great War in Heaven. Yet I am not ready to tell you the tale of the sons of Mil Espaine, who defeated the Tuatha De Danann in the battle that began that loathsome campaign. For to hear that sad and damning tale you must first hear the story of the Forging of the Saber of Beatha and the cost of it's formation. It is a tale that revolves around Danu's three granddaughters: Banbha, Eriu and Fodla, who gave their names to Eireann, and their husbands Mac Cuill, Mac Cecht, and Mac Greine, sons of the Daghda, and the last kings of the Tuatha De Danann." I had to fight to keep a grim from my lips as Sesshomaru drifted towards the group, _like a moth to the flame_. I focused my attention instead on Rin as he gracefully melted to the floor at my side and I continued the tale.

"The First Daghda was named such by his mother Danu, and he led the Tuatha De Danann consummately for over two thousand years, before he was slain in battle and sent to Tir-na-n-Og to rest. In his honor all other high kings of the Tuatha De Danann where called The Daghda and where elected from the children of Danu every seven hundred years.

"Now the Aes sidhi were governed by Danu's first daughter Ernmas and the Daoine sidhe where governed by a comity of themselves. The last Daghda of the time was elected from the Daoine. This choice, though made by all the Tuatha De Danann, angered the Aes sidhi for they did not believe the logical and distant Daoine could rule even handedly over their fellows, with whom they so rarely shared hospitality. The Aes' anger and resentment threatened to drive them to war with their brothers. Bearach, for that was the name of the young Daghda; cried out his alarm and dejection to Danu and begged her to wake from the heart of the world and grant him guidance to avoid such an upset in the balance.

"The Great Mother, unable to deny the anguish in her child's call, woke and knowing everything instantly, she counseled Bearach thus, 'Despair weakens you needlessly my child. You bear in your veins the blood of my most clever children and most trusted protectors. As Daghda you must defend the unity of these fractious clans. Ernmas has three eligible daughters, and you have three strong and cunning sons, propose a marriage to my daughter and you may yet end this hostility.'

"But the goddess, in her great wisdom and foresight, saw more than she told Bearach. Going quickly to her daughter she said, 'Ernmas, the Daghda Bearach shall come to you on the morrow with a contract of marriage for your three daughters, eldest to youngest, for his three sons of the same. However, he is unaware that you have six such maidens. Instead of kind and gentle Eriu, Banba and Fodla, send the younger Badb, Macha and Morrigan to his home. Tell him that they will only marry if your daughters can be defeated by each son in battle, using a sword that produces no wounds. When they have accomplished this task, grant each man permission to wed Eriu, Banba and Fodla.'

"Ernmas was confused by her mothers words, but heeded them nonetheless. When Bearach's contract came she sent to him Badb, Macha and Morrigan, who where naught but girls far from their maiden cycles. When they arrived, Bearach was confused by the children dressed as brides presented to him. He was even more shocked by the mother's insistence that his sons not only fight the girls, but with a sword which would leave no wound.

"He sought out the aid of Goibhniu, the smith of the Tuatha De Danann, to see if such a blade could be crafted. The smith told the young ruler that indeed such a weapon could be forged, but it would take all the skills of the Na tri dee Dana and a great sacrifice from each of his sons. Bearach declared that any sacrifice was merited if it kept peace among the clans and so Goibhniu called forth his brothers Creidhne, and Luchtaine. Together they formed the Na tri dee Dana and began to forge the Saber of Beatha.

"Meanwhile, Bearach's sons, affronted that Ernmas would insist they wed children, ventured to the Aes sidhi's stronghold to deny the contract in full. Yet when the lads arrived, Ernmas was not at home and they where greeted by her eldest daughters instead. Mac Cuill, Mac Cecht, and Mac Greine where enamored with the beauty of the triumvir and outraged that Ernmas would send tots to their father's house when the beauties before them where obviously what the treaty had mandated.

"Ever gentle and considerate, the daughters soothed the lads and begged them not to exact retribution against their mother for her fallacy. The women counseled the men instead to do whatever was asked of them in order to seal the contract, for the sisters where the true prize of this sport.

"So the men returned to their father's home and spoke to no one of their journey and the Na tri dee Dana continued their work. At the Seventh hour, on seventh day, of the third month in the year of the Ash, the Na tri dee Dana called Bearach and his sons forth to complete the blade. It was Luchtaine the Wright, who spoke of the sacrifice, 'For the saber to take no life, it must be contrary to its nature and give life instead. Yet forged metal and magical crafting can not give what it has not received, all those who wish to wield this blade must first grant it that which it does not have.' Knowing the blade would be tempered in their own blood; the brothers immediately stepped forward as one, and accepted the bargain. Creidhne of the Blades drew the glowing sword from the forge's embers and struck. Bearach, realizing then that his sons meant to give their lives for his fool's covenant, threw himself upon the weapon as it made its murderous arch."

Rin's hand held my kimono in a death's grip as I paused in my tale and her earnest face was a mask of anticipated horror. I felt Sesshomaru's intense gaze boring into the side of my face. I gave Rin a reassuring hug as I continued. "The sword was thirsty from its forging and Bearach's blood would not satisfy its appetite as it continued through the willing brothers and consumed all four lives in one sweep. Yet when the blade had, had its fill, the magic of the Na tri dee Dana bound it fast in its satiation. Then, Creidhne once again wielded the weapon against the Daghda and is sons, slicing away the minions of death from their souls and drawing them from the border of Tir-na-n-Og into this world again.

"The Na tri dee Dana declared the blade the Saber of Beatha, and cautioned that though it was bathed in Sidhe blood, and could conquer death for all, it should never be drawn against a mortal life. For having tasted the blood of one, it would not be satisfied again with the other.

"On the morrow each brother in turn wielded the sword against a daughter of Ernmas and though the sisters fought valiantly, the brothers where able to defeat them. In so doing they won their wives and peace between their houses. The Saber of Beatha endured, to become a powerful tool in the hands of their descendant Donella de Daoine. For though there were many bloody conflicts between the clans ever after, no souls were sent to Tir-na-n-Og or the abyss because of them. And lest you over look the roles of Badb, Macha and Morrigan in this tale; know this: their defeat at the hands of the brothers caused them to swear a vow that they would never be conquered in battle again. Together they became the fiercest warriors in all of Irish history and to this day, mortal men call out their names for strength and aid before combat."

Rin gave me a sleepy smile at the end of my tale, "Donella-sama did the brothers feel funny in their stomachs when they came alive again?" I frowned thoughtfully at the girl.

"I don't know Rin-chan, it was a very long time ago, why do you ask?" I inquired as I lifted her into my arms and began laboriously carrying her to her room. _Kid needs to cut back on the pocky, _I thought uncomfortably.

"Well when Sesshomaru-sama saved Rin with the Tenseiga, she felt funny in her stomach for a few days." She responded fuzzily as I as I trudged down the hall. I laughed.

"Well I'm sure that it was a scary time for Rin. Anxiety always makes me feel funny in my stomach, but I'm glad you are here now, Hotaru who loves Sakura blossoms." I gave her a gentle hug as I laid her on her futon. "Now sleep tight and sweet dreams, little firefly." I murmured as I kissed her on her forehead and stood to leave.

"Donella-sama?" She called sleepily from the darkness.

"Yes, Rin?" I replied turning to face her voice in the gloom.

"Rin is very happy you stayed with us and won't ever leave. Sesshomaru-sama needed a grown-up friend." She mumbled drowsily.

"Silly Rin-chan, Sesshomaru-sama has Jaken for a grown-up friend, he doesn't need me at all. No go to sleep." But as I turned to leave I could help but catch her "Nuh-uh." of denial, though if it was about her master, or going to sleep. I wouldn't know were to guess.

Back in the common room Jaken was talking adamantly to his lord. As quickly and unobtrusively as I could, I moved across the room and retrieved my shawl and journal. _Maybe I'll stop by the kitchen and make a pot of tea before I go to my room and finish the last two poems. I hope it's not to cold in that laundry for that soap to set, maybe I should check on it. I see if there are enough cherry blossoms to produce an oil infusion for Rin's present… _ Attempting quiet discretion, I crept back towards the door as Jaken made his less than inveigle observations. "But if he is hiding it that guardedly, my lord, how will we ever get near enough to strike?"

"Baka, Jaken do you doubt me?" Sesshomaru asked with glacial calm as Jaken began backpedaling at an Olympic rate.

"N-n-n-no my lord I have utmost confidence in your skill, Sesshomaru-sama…" _Maybe I can make a cute little flower or heart shaped mold for it._

"Do you know anything of this, ningen?" Sesshomaru's address stopped my progress, jumbled thoughts, and Jaken's protestations as I held the hall door open.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening." I replied, absentmindedly turning to face the duo at the fire.

"Do you know of the place Byakuya has secreted Naraku's heart?" Though it retained it's usual arctic calm I sensed a dangerously low warning in his voice, _Suspicious, mistrustful bastard._

I ground my teeth in frustration, "No, Sesshomaru-sama."

"You are certain, ningen?" Again that thinly veiled threat.

I defiantly raised my eyes to meet his as I said with all the hurt and anger boiling inside me, "Yes, Sesshomaru-sama." Before escaping through the door. _What the hell is he fishing for? If I knew anything I'd tell him, but he would never believe that. Always has to take the hard road, always has to be distrustful and detached. Like a dog that's been kicked too often, he won't trust anything. _The thought made my fleeing footsteps slow in their mechanical mission of escape. _Could that be it? _I laughed at my own psychobabble, _Yes, it's more romantic to think he was an abused, unloved lonely child. It's more forgivable than being an intentional jerk. _It was a long time before I slept that night as angry, injured accusations rolled through my mind. _I can be angry for Wendy, but he's envious of Peter Pan._

Author's Notes:  
My goodness all the reviews thank you everyone.

Yoi yume o: Sweet Dreams

Douchuugi and Uchikake are untied outer garments like coats..,

kakeshita kimono is what a traditional bride would wear.

_**Author's Notes: Wow so many people to thank for this chapter. To all those who usually review and didn't get a chance to Arvael, InuDstories, Black Angel of Envy I know you're still reading so thanks! (I'm sure I've missed some people so I'll send a general shout out to the silent masses and thanks for reading.)**_

_Tootsiepop254: **We shall start the Irish/Japanese Behavioral Boot Camp (IJBBC) and take over the world right after I recover from the Irish part, also advanced thanks for the card. **_

_Feathergriffin:** Thanks so much for all the encouragement; your reviews always make the pain worth it.**_

_Tsubasa Kya:** Thank you for the detailed break down and the advice.**_

_Wandering Hitokiri:** Thanks so much for the enthusiasm it really keeps me going.**_

_The Painted Lady: **You made me blush, I'm just really glad you like both my stories and thanks so much for all the kind words!**_

_HikoCassidy, Moonprincess, and FaintlyAlarming:** Yay, thanks so much!**_

_Inusrosebudforlife: **Thanks for telling me that story it was sweet! And sorry for the Japanese history lesson, I'm too much of an academic for my own good. blush**_


	12. Come in, and Make Yourself Unwelcome

**Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll, "Ghost of a Rose" belongs to Blackmore's Night and Mowgli and Riki Tiki Tavi belong to the family of Rudyard Kipling**

**The Botanist and the Beast**

**Chapter 12: Come in, and Make Yourself Unwelcome**

_Dear Alice, _

_To hell with Dinah, if you do not leave my home immediately I will have Bill burn it to the ground! And bring my gloves with you, you stupid girl, I'm LATE._

_-The White Rabbit_

I was up with the sun the next morning. My restless night had transformed itself into crabby nervous energy and I was in the guardhouse practicing before breakfast trying to alleviate it. Letting my mind empty and my body go through the now familiar motions with thoughtless ease, I was in the zone. I felt my tension dissipate and my body relaxed into the routine, until an all too familiar aura rushed into my perception and a sword met the swing of my blade.

I didn't bother yelling at him, it was pointless. Instead I focused all the anger I felt at his intrusion, and my night's confused turbulence on his behalf, into my assault. Since attacking left me weak against his much quicker reflexes, and inhuman speed, I usually defended myself during our sparing matches and only attack to keep his furious onslaught from cornering me. Today I was in no mood to be chased around a confined space so he could prove some macho yokai point about my inept human abilities. _Fuck it. If he beats me quickly he'll leave that much sooner, but I'm in no mood for backing down today._

So I pushed forward where I should have stepped back and slashed where I normally would have parried. In the heat and anger of the moment I managed to force him to move back and his arm to swing wide while my sword arched toward his armless side and cut into his armor. It was only then I notice the blade glowing red and the faint shimmering aura that encompassed my own hands. I checked the swing as much as I could, astonishment and regret replaced my rage as I retreated and lowered my weapon in shock.

He remained still for several moments examining the gash in disbelief. I kept my distance expecting a furious reprisal. My sword fell from numb fingers, clattering loudly to the floor, in the ringing silence I whispered, "I'm sorry, S-s-Sesshomaru-sama, did I injure you?" My voice was shaking and I was surprised to find that I was trembling in fear as his hazardously glowing eyes focused on me. My heart was threatening to pound right out of my chest; _He's going to rip me to shreds for sure!_

When he finally moved, it was with lightning speed and I had to resist my instinct to reach for my weapon against the expected retribution. _Stay still, stay still he won't really hurt you, stay still! _My mind was racing down that panicked route as I felt him seized my right hand into a death grip. His eyes had lost their dangerous sheen but something in his poster told me that castigation was still undecided.

Slowly he drew the captured appendage to his nose and tentatively sniffed the palm. Confused and bewildered, I tugged on my hand, but he wouldn't release it as he lowered it, "As I suspected, your spiritual faculties are only accessible when you are operating irrationally." He let my hand drop and took a defensive stance a few feet from me.

"We will try that again, ningen, retrieve you sword." Still giddy with unshed tears and a flurry of emotional upheaval, anger again managed to take the forefront. Yet it was a fragile control that threatened to give way to hysteria quickly. _Don't cry in front of him, don't you dare cry!_ I held onto my rage, but my precarious state would not allow me to speak to him. Silently I whirled and strode into the courtyard, intent on putting as much distance between him and my inevitable breakdown as possible. _Like nothing happened, like I didn't just try to kill him, like he's not hurt. Again! I don't want to hurt him I…_But, I could not look down that path of ruin and heartbreak and continue to deny my unshed tears freedom. So I ground my teeth, set my mouth in a grim line, and marched; right into several feet of irate yokai.

Wordlessly I sidestepped him and continued my trek, but a vise like grip on my arm halted me. "We are not finished, ningen." I stared at his hand on my arm mutely; knowing that if I looked up to meet his reproachful glare my hard won self-control would unravel.

My voice came out as a tattered whisper around the choking ball of emotion that clogged my throat, "I am." His hand tightened bruisingly on my arm as I tried to move away from him. _Please, don't make me do this. _I pleaded in my mind, knowing that begging would do no good.

"Donella-sama! Donella-sama, look! Rin found eggs for breakfast! The pounding feet of the racing child and her gleeful calls caused the restraint on my arm to melt away as Sesshomaru turned from me and vacated the courtyard of even his aura in an instant. It was as if that iron grip had been the only thing holding me up, the moment I was released, my tremulous knees gave out and I wilted to the ground. "Donella-sama!" Rin cried in shock, dropping the basket of eggs she wrapped me in a crushing hug. "Donella-sama, are you all right?" The fear in her voice pulled me back from my fugue.

I took a few calming gulps of air before giving her a weak smile and a reassuring hug, "I'm just a little drained, Rin, but nothing a nice egg breakfast won't fix." I tried to make my voice sound energetic but the result was pitiable at best as I stood and helped her retrieve what few undamaged eggs remained. As we walked back the Shiro, Rin worriedly barraged me with questions and observations about my health that I attempted to soothe hastily.

"Donella-sama, you don't look well! You're not sick again are you?"

"No, Hotaru, I'm just really hungry."

"You aren't holding your stomach like Rin does when she's hungry and you're really pale are you sure?" It took me several minutes, breakfast and a hearty grumbling from Jaken, but she finally accepted my assurances. By then the snow had begun to fall again in earnest and so we entertained ourselves through the day by drawing pictures, telling stories and singing by the fire. Rin, much to Jaken's alarm and anguish, related to me a hysterical tale of his attempt to steal Inu-Yasha's sword and his various failed tactics. In turn I attempted to tell her the story of a boy named Mowgli, an abandoned man-cub raised by wolves.

Yet the premise seemed to appall her, "Wolves are bad, bad animals and Rin hates them, Donella-sama." She was so upset I told her 'Rikki-Tikki-Tavi' instead and though it took me a while to explain what cobras and mongooses were she enjoyed it a great deal more and was laughing and giggling at the end. As I tucked her in that night I sang 'Ghost of a Rose' to her,

"When all was done, she turned to run  
Dancing to the setting sun as he watched her  
And ever more he thought he saw  
A glimpse of her upon the moors forever  
He'd hear her say...  
'Promise me, when you see, a white rose you'll think of me  
I love you so,  
Never let go,  
I will be your ghost of a rose...'"

I had been so caught up in the song I hadn't noticed his aura approach, but as I finished, I felt Sesshomaru near and knew he'd been listening. My mind was flooded with the morning's worries, _What will I say to him now? Can I ever bring myself to ever spar with him again? _"Donella-sama," Rin's sleepy voice drew me away from my troubled thoughts of him. "That song was so pretty, but so sad too."

I gave her a distracted smile, "Love songs often are, dear heart, because love relies on the uncertain hearts of two different people and it is seldom sensible." I thought of the Daiyoukai lurking somewhere outside the room, _And is frequently horribly wrong. Making a person more foolish than they care to admit_. That, however, is a truth a child should not be told and one I didn't particularly want a yokai to hear. Giving the drowsy child one last hug I reclaimed my lantern from her bedside and made my way to the hall.

I was grateful that Sesshomaru wasn't visibly present in the hall as I went to my room, but his aura was still inescapably near. Restlessly I donned my boots, douchuugi and cloak before stepping out into the lady's, silent, snow wrapped garden. His presence was still close, but under the open night sky it was less suffocating as I busily brushed snow from a bench and sat.

The garden was magical in the silver moonlit glow and though the night was bitterly cold, I was comfortable in my layers of silk and fur. Gazing up into the starry sky I let the magnificent diamond exhibit lull and relax me. A few moments in the silent landscape lent me enough audacity to speak to the unseen shadow, "Please come out, your skulking disturbs my peace of mind." I kept my voice quiet, in difference to the snow-blanketed silence, but a specter across from my position detached itself from the gloom and strode into the light.

There was a moment of taciturn consideration between us before he spoke, and my heart involuntarily sped up as the baritone glacier crashed into me, "This Sesshomaru does not skulk, ningen."

"Lurk, loiter, creep, prowl, haunt, however you wish to label it, it is no less disquieting." I was glad that, though my pulse was still at a forceful velocity, my voice was as detached as his own.

"This Sesshomaru would not use any of those words." _Well not 'this Sesshomaru' but maybe another one of you multiple personalities might, weirdo._

I gave him a thoughtful, "Hmm," In response as I tore my eyes from his luminous manifestation and focused once more on the night sky, eventually my pulse slowed, until he sat beside me. "Your conduct this morning was puerile and aberrant." I made an irreverent noise and continued star gaze. His hand gripped my shoulder and my head automatically swiveled to face him. "I would have you explain your actions, ningen."

The snow began to fall again. I felt a blush creep into my cold cheeks and I gave him a sardonic half-smile as our eyes locked, "I was operating irrationally, Sesshomaru-sama, I am sorry if I injured you."

"Indeed." His hand wandered from my shoulder and tucked a stray lock of hair back under my hood. I recoiled from the gentle touch; tucking my hands into my cloak as I shivered. "You are cold." _Not really._

"A bit," I replied as I watched the snowflakes descend to the earth absently, "But I have spent too much time surrounded by walls and I don't wish to return to their incarceration just yet."

"Incarceration? I would think you would be more comfortable within walls than following me aimlessly all over creation, ningen." I chuckled softly as he threw my own words at me.

"Words spoken in anger often mean more than they should."

"You do seem to have over come your aversion to my appearance." I gave a small laugh at that.

"Well, Sesshomaru-sama, anger can also make even the most appealing creatures unsightly and you are not the most appealing, nor was I the most composed."

"Your composure was not much better this morning, ningen, and yet you said nothing of the sort."

"I have said too many cross and insincere words to you in recent memory, Sesshomaru-sama, I did not wish to add more." The gentle drift of snow began to fall in earnest. I stood, but a hand on my elbow kept me from leaving and forced me to look at him.

"Your tale confuses me ningen, what inducement did the elder sisters use to compel the Daghda's sons to die for them?" I thought of the Japanese take on suicide: seppuku, oibara, and junshi are considered honorable and in many cases necessary. Even in the modern day, if a man committed suicide his family is often still entitled to the life insurance money. _So what does he mean?_

"I don't think I understand your inquiry, Sesshomaru-sama." He gave me an impatient look.

"Your tale says the men were enamored with the sisters, and the women begged and counseled them to alter their tactics. Yet I find it hard to believe that a pretty face and persuasive words would convince such dishonorable men to die so willingly." His hand fell away as I sat back down on the bench; the ever-thickening snow covered us in its freezing blanket and the cold began to slip into my bones.

My Celtic pride was offended, and the affront was apparent in my voice, "The last kings of the Tuatha De Danann were noble rulers, why would you say that they are dishonorable?"

"A pact made my ones father or liege is intransigent; a subordinate who attempts to discard it in such a deceitful manner is without honor." His voice made it an unassailable truth and it deflated my insulted dignity.

"In Ireland, if a lord makes a bad bargain concerning the men he rules, those men have the right to deny or renegotiate the contract for themselves." _So there. You feudal shogunate, lordling twit._

"And what of women?" The cold made my body tremble as I answered.

"Until the Normans invaded, there was no legal difference between genders. There are stories that are not meant for the ears of children that say the elder sisters seduced and bedded the brothers. Others that say they used foul sorcery, or enticed them with promises of their wealth and land. Still others say that Danu appeared to them and ordered them to sacrifice 'body and soul' for her good."

Another irrepressible tremor shook my body and I stood, "Please excuse me; I'm afraid I really must go back in now." He didn't reply as I headed to my room but his hand appeared on my elbow again as he lightly steered me towards the main entrance. In curious silence, I paused at the door to remove my outer garments and boots before followed him to the common room. He sat near the fire and gestured insistently to the seat next to him. The hearth's warmth was inviting and cautiously I sat. _What is this all about?_

Holding my numb fingers out to the fire and periodically rubbing my hands together, I waited for him to speak. "An item of some power has inadvertently come into my possession. Before I obtained it, Naraku was content to hide from my wrath, but he wishes to obtain this object. Consequently, Byakuya relentlessly seeks me out and hampers my efforts to locate his master. I wish to know more about this thing's origins and purpose."

"I don't know what..." But his reason for telling me became obvious as he pressed the long forgotten circlet into my hand. I gazed down at my grandmother's bracelet with something like the elation you would have for a restored friend. It seemed to exude warmth and amity. I stared down at it for several moments as my fingers fondly polished the red stone at its heart. "So this is why you mistrusted me all this time." I sighed as I gingerly held it out to him, but his lips tightened grimly and he didn't reach for it. I let the bangle and the hand that held it fall to my lap. "You may believe me or not, as you wish, but I only wanted to pay a debt. Until this moment I did not know that there was any value in this item, beyond the pecuniary." I sighed as his intense eyes continued to bore into my face, "There is a granny story associated with it, but I'd put no stock in those." His heated stare finally forced me look away.

"Tell me this story." The chill command in his voice annoyed me, and I made my head lift and locked my gaze with his own as began the legend.

"It's a short tale. When Donella de Daoine birthed her first child to Donal O'Conghaile, a girl called Neala; Uacteran de Cusith bestowed the bracelet of Cusithbrigh upon the child as an infant gift. It has been passed from eldest daughter to eldest daughter ever since." I paused, "So that I'm clear Cusith means fairy dog and brigh means power. Neala received the strength of the Cusith from her father's blood, and a measure of the Sidhe magic from Donella, but the Bracelet of Cusithbrigh is said to have conferred to her the great Cusith's true nature; granting her the full power of the great dog himself. When they were killed in the Great War in Heaven, Uacteran and Donella are said to have bound their immortal souls in the bloody stone instead of departing to Tir-na-n-Og. The bracelet is a symbol of our family's duty and gives us strength to carry on the fight to protect the balance."

"What is the nature of the power contained in the stone?"

I shook my head in ignorance, "That I don't know, Sesshomaru-sama, in my life I have never seen it as more than an ornament and that story is all I know about its history." He held out his hand and I placed it in his outstretched palm. Before my fingers left the gold of the band the room faded away from me with dizzying speed and my stomach gave a lurch as I spun into darkness. My next memory was of a bright open field and my eyes focusing on two of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen.

Their cloths were an ancient pattern, but finely made. The man drew my eyes first. His knee length hair was the color of springtime grass and was blowing in the breeze, careless of its absurd shade. His sharply pointed ears couldn't hold it bay as it flew in his face, occasionally obscuring his merry smile and twinkling golden eyes. His inar trews were a sunny yellow and matched the Celtic knot work embroidery of his snowy leine perfectly. I admired the craftsmanship of those hems as dogs eternally chased and intertwined with each other. "Gah lass, ye took yer time gettin' here!" The woman's voice was like brass bell and pulled my eyes from the enigmatic metal work on the man's belt buckle to her face.

Her hair was the dark, living red of Dogwood branches and her eyes were burning emerald gems. Her leine was longer, becoming a shimmering white dress that made the dark burgundy and scarlet of her brat look like a river of blood running down her body. The shimmering hilt of the sword on her hip glow in contrast and made the complicated whirling knot work of her hems appear to move as she approached me. "Ye were a right fool givin' the torque ta that outland laird." The pointy-eared woman offered me a ring-bedecked hand and pulled me easily to my feet.

The green haired man gave me a doggish grin that displayed a rapacious set of canine fangs. "Aye, Donella's got the right of it there, lass. We've been havin' ta holler at the top of our lungs fer ya to hear us and 'twas nigh impossible fer me to help ye against those bugaboos in the village. Would'na been able to help ya 'tall if'n the beastie laird hadn't followed ya there." The woman put a soothing hand on his arm and he unconsciously covered with his own. He continued to glare at me in silence.

"Too true, my darlin', it was hard ta tell ye anythin' clearly unless he was next ta ya. But 'tis neither here nor there now, love, we don't have time ta scold ya." Her fierce eyes imprisoned mine with a stern and authoritative gaze, "Listen, dear heart, a storm's a comin' and ye'll have ta make a choice. When ya do, though it tears yer heart from yer chest, remember that an oath is an oath and the balance knows that there be moren' one kinda family. Ye must remember, the need not always lay with yer blood kin." The exchange began to make sense as I realized their identities.

"But sin seanmhathair, what oath? What storm? Why me?" my voice sounded childish and resentful in my ears. Donella gave me an indulgent smile.

"First dear, there be no reason for such formality, call me mamo, and I canna tell ye too much of the future, the balance demands it be yer free choice. Just trust yer heart and that white haired leannain of yers and all will be right."

_White haired leannain? Oh for Christ's sake!_ "He isn't my lover, mamo!" But I found myself denying it weakly to the ceiling of the Shiro's common room.

I felt like I'd run a marathon, my body ached and my limbs were heavy with exhaustion, but I was resting comfortably on something warm and silky; the soothing scent of pine needles and crisp autumn filled my senses. _Ah crap. _I thought as my foggy suspicion was brought into sharp reality as Sesshomaru's pale face moved into my view. I weakly struggled to sit up and remove my head from his cushioning thigh. His strong hand between my shoulder blades helped aided me in my endeavor and I was soon sitting upright, but the hand remained in support as my head swam.

"That was… disquieting, ningen." His voice maintained its usual frosty detachment but a slight crease between his eyebrows marred the chiseled facade of his countenance.

"I'm sorry I…" I gave him a sheepish smile; "I'm not sure how to explain it without sounding mad." He slowly removed his hand from my back and when I maintained my upright position he ran it pensively through his hair.

"I do not believe an explanation is necessary, ningen. When you attempted to return the bauble your eyes changed color and a voice that was not yours identified itself as Uacteran. The entity was insolent, but it explained much about your odd behavior." _My behavior? 'Yer white haired leannain,' _A sense of foreboding panic gripped me,_ Oh God! You evil sidhe hound what did you say to him? _

I shook my head; "I don't know anything of what was said, I was given a completely useless warning about oaths and family from my great-grandmother Donella." It was hard to focus my thoughts through the fatigued miasma that was my mind.

"Do you trust these creatures, ningen?" His voice gave away nothing of his thoughts and I answered honestly.

"I do, Sesshomaru-sama, but I have no evidence to endorse that conviction."

"Hmm." In what should have been an awkward gesture, for a man with only one hand, he gracefully placed the torque on my right wrist. "You will retain possession of this object and not allow it to leave your person under any circumstances, ningen." I nodded weakly, unable to find the energy to argue his demanding tone as I struggled to stand, but my weary limbs wouldn't accommodate me as I tumbled towards to floor again.

My fall was arrested as I was scooped into Sesshomaru's embrace, and for the second time in my life, I marveled at how secure I felt pressed against his chest with only one arm to support me. "Please, I'm not a child. Set me down, I may be tired, but I can manage to make it to my own room." I protested in mortification as all the blood in my body rushed to turn my cheeks scarlet.

"Your attempt to do just that failed, ningen." I made an exasperated noise.

"If you insist on treating me as if I am ill, would you at least allow me a little dignity? Help me to my feet and lend me your support, please, I cannot abide this posture." My plea achieved me a standing position, an arm around my shoulders and waist to lean on. _So warm, it really is a shame; he's really very attractive, _I pushed the last thought aside violently as we arrived at my door; I hastily pulled away from him and leaned against the frame. I was grateful for the dim hallway and prayed that the glow from my room didn't reveal my flustered appearance, "Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama; I am quite capable of managing the rest unaided." I slid the door open and stepped into the invitingly warm refuge. His hand caught the door before I could slide it shut.

"Tell me, ningen, what does stocach mean?" The word startled me. _Oh dear Christ!_ _What the hell did Uacteran say to him?_

"Where in God's name did you hear that word?" My voice was a humiliating croak.

"From your reaction, ningen, I do not believe this is a polite word. I wish to know its meaning." His tone was a warning and I took a gulp of air before I answered.

My mortification wouldn't allow me to look him in the eye as I blushed furiously and mumbled, "Stocach is a term used to describe a male a woman is romantically involved with, but has not yet taken as a lover. A, a boyfriend," I searched frantically in my mind for the Japanese equivalent, "kareshi." His hand fell from the door thoughtfully and I slammed it closed before he could ask me any more embarrassing questions.

Anger lent me energy. Fuming, I changed into my sleepwear, _Great, I loose it and cut him this morning, damn near break down in front of him and now I've had the ghost of my ancient granny's lover borrowing my body and telling him God knows what! If I ever get the opportunity to wrap my hands around that green haired mutt's neck, so help me I won't let go until he makes it all the way to Tir-na-n-Og or the eternal darkness. _I took the infuriated rumination to bed with me, but my weariness was more powerful than my irritation, and I was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

I didn't see Sesshomaru for several days after, but like a fish in a bowl, the longer he stayed in the castle the more his aura grew to fill it. I didn't know how comforted and safe the constant presence made me feel until I woke up one morning to find it gone. _No wonder Jaken freaks out so much when he leaves, it feels like a crucial part of the atmosphere has been taken away. _I in a gloomy haze I dressed and prepared myself for the day. Over breakfast I forced myself into a cheerful mood and put all my energy in keeping Jaken from becoming an absolutely miserable companion.

Noon found Rin and me in the laundry elbow deep in bedding. "Ugh! I can't take it any more Donella-sama!" The girl cried as she bound to the courtyard door and flung it open. The icy winter air flooded into the humid room and caused me to shiver in my damp cloths. I laughed.

"If you'll help me hand this last mattress on the rack we can both go to the bath!" I grumbled at her at I struggled to place the last heavy pad on the bamboo drying frame.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Donella-sama!" she cried as she rushed to aid me. It took but moments, yet the morning's work had been arduous and we were both achingly tired. With a shared grin of accomplishment we threw our damp aprons onto a rack, Rin preceded me into the courtyard as I reclaimed my sword from the door and secured it at my waist.

In Sesshomaru's absence it was far too easy to remember that the former inhabitants of our new home were probably driven out by force. It made me jumpy to realize Jaken and I were our only defense against history repeating itself. _I may not be able to do much in a fight, but the sword makes me feel a little safer._ I chuckled; _My security blanket is a wakizashi, mother would be appalled._

The bracelet grew warm and I paused in the chill courtyard as a vision of the field before the castle filled my mind. Five people on horseback: three armored warriors, a woman and a houshi approached our gate at a slow pace. _Shit! Shit! Shit! The second he leaves, it's as if trouble is always lurking around the corner just waiting for us to be defenseless!_ The apparition faded as quickly as it had come, but my sense of alarm grew. My hand fell to the hilt of my sword. "Rin, go find Jaken, order him to stay hidden until I call him. I don't want either of you seen. Inform him that I'll beat him within an inch of his miserable life if you are. There are riders coming, hurry."

It was a struggle to give the orders calmly and even harder to untie and roll down my sleeves, face the open gate and wait for the arrival of the unknown travelers. _I wish there was a way to hide the whole damn castle. _I thought anxiously and Donella's voice answered me, _Sorry lass, but ye be stronger and better defended, now that we be with ya. _The voice in my mind caused me to jump. _Great just what I need, as if things around here weren't mad enough, now I have a peanut gallery. _

_Aye lass and if it weren't for yer mamo I'd be sayin' a few choice things ta ya about respectin' yer elders! _

_Hush, Uacteran, we dinna have the time for this, they're here._

I fought to control my increasing nervousness as the nearing hoof beats grew louder and the first rider came into view. _First, can we conceal Jaken's miniscule aura from the monk, and second can we put up a barrier so they can't actually get close to me?_

_Aye, lass, the toady is already disguised, but we can't do it all. Yer gonna have to block 'em individually if they come near ye. Just focus on what ye want._ Uacteran voice was soothing and my fretfulness receded slightly.

The group shuffled into the courtyard and the first warrior dismounted and approached me. _Focus, I don't want him to come any closer than that really dark stone._ "Ho there, girl! We come bearing grave news for your master fetch him immediately!" The arbitrary landmark rested six feet from me. I remained silent as he approached it, readying myself, and then he reached it. With my entire psyche I though, _get_ _back,_ and pushed. He was flung back almost four feet from my stone. Landing with a clattering of armor at the feet of the panicked horses and the apprehensive riders. _A bit dramatic, darlin', but ye got their attention right enough._ Donella's voice sounded amused and it brought a small smile to my own lips. The other two guards dismounted and drew their swords as their fallen comrade stood angrily. Before they could advance my voice rang out, as cool and condescending as any of Sesshomaru's addresses.

"I am the one to hear your news, soldier; for I have no other lord, nor will I permit you to enter my home without good cause. These are troubled time we live, in and I do not trust strangers easily." I held my hands loosely at my side and my head high, I schooling my face in a mask of deceptive arrogance. _Please don't call my bluff, please don't call my bluff; dear God, please just don't let them call my bluff._ Then from the group a vaguely familiar face emerged.

"Miko O'Conghaile-sama, surely I am no stranger to you." The young monk who had threatened to kill Sesshomaru detached himself from the cloaked woman and stepped towards me smiling. I eyed him coolly as he approached my boarder, but he stopped just behind the dark cobblestone.

"You may not be entirely a stranger, monk, but you are not what I would call a friend. After my companion had the good grace to spare your life, you returned only hours later with a much larger group. I do not believe it was for charitable reasons." The boy's smile faded as he gave me a sheepish look. The warriors behind him began to creep forward, weapons drawn.

"You misunderstand my master's intention, lady. I told him of your immeasurable beauty, and vast capacity for affection, that you would strive to aid all wounded creatures, human and yokai alike. He only wanted to meet such a woman, whose benevolence rivals that of Buddha himself." I warily watched the nearest fighter from the corner of my eye as he approached my imaginary line.

"Indeed, monk, but you keep strange company these days and their weapons do not put me at ease." The soldier crossed the line and I threw him towards the boy, forcing him to back up as the man came sliding to a halt at his feet. "ENOUGH OF THIS!" I commanded, my voice echoed off of the nearby buildings with an unassailable roar. _Oh that's a nice one lass!_ "I am finished with your games and false pleasantries! Sheath your weapons and state your business or so help me you will not live long enough to regret your intrusion." Compared to my thunderous mandate, the calm threat was a pledge. The houshi looked to the woman and the lady waved her hand gently. The men stowed their armaments as she pulled back her hood and came forward.

She was about sixteen by her looks and it was obvious why the young monk was following her. She was stunning; long black hair was piled high in a coif that defied gravity and decorated with thousands of tiny silver pins. Her sultrily painted eyelids framed a luminous, brown gaze which seemed to fill her heart shaped face and gave her a pouting innocence that belied the ruby color of her full lips. Raised in the jaded supermodel obsessing country that I had been, the artfully decorated face made me more suspicious than the naive presentation demanded. _Is she a yokai? _I thought, but I didn't need my peanut gallery to reply, I felt a vague uneasiness, but I sensed nothing more than human guile at work in her person. Still, I found the girl to be untrustworthy.

"Lady please, you and your retainers must abandon this Shiro at once. A strong and terrible yokai has been prowling the hills and valleys nearby killing the innocent and using their blood to fuel his foul endeavors." She fixed me with a fearful and pleading look. _It's probably Sesshomaru's aura he's been sensing. He wouldn't abandon all of us here with something that terrible nearby, me possibly, but Rin… Not on your pretty little curls girly._

"It is true O'Conghaile-sama. At this Hime's insistence I was sent here by my master to stay this terrible beast. I have seen the damage this monster has caused first hand and it has taken Izuki-sama's very family from her." _First name basis, wow monk she has you fooled, but I don't sense any active enchantment._

I gave the girl a long and considering stare that caused her hands to fidget nervously with the fabric of her cloak. I fixed the monk with a sharp look, "What is your name monk?"

He looked startled at the sudden shift of my question, "Daitokuji Masuyo, O'Conghaile-sama."

"Daitokuji-san, in your travels to this place and amongst the wreckage you have seen from this beast, have you once felt the creature's resonance or laid eyes upon it?" The girls fidgeting hands stilled suddenly and she gave me a sharper look than her innocuous mien implied. The men behind her shifted restlessly and I saw one hand fall to the hilt of a sword.

"No, my lady, the creature is very clever and has hidden its trail thoroughly with dark magic." I glared down at the girl. _I just bet it has. Oh little boy I'd like to save you from this, but without Sesshomaru here to back me up I don't want to see what is in this girls bag of tricks._

_But lass, dinna ya feel him arrive? He's been listening behind that wall ta yer left since ye started talkin', _and did feel him then. His aura was faint and obscure, but not injured. I doubt the young monk could sense it, but he was definitely in earshot. I suppressed a grin. _I like these odds better._ I pinned the girl with my most menacing glower. "I don't care to know what fraud you are attempting to accomplish here Izuki," I laced the unadorned name with as much scorn as I could muster, "But I am in no mood. Your lies offend my intelligence and the sight of you makes me wish you harm. You have been able to dupe this poor boy with your fanciful tale and pretty face, be content with that victory and be gone." I let rage spill into my voice and my hand idly wandered to my sword. _Aye girl that be the stuff, strong emotion can be channeled ta make strong magic._

The houshi blanched at my words and stepped forward, obviously intent on defending his lady's honor, but said lady had other plans. With a calculating and almost impulsive demeanor she pleaded, "O'Conghaile-san, even if you do not heed our warning, at least allow us your hospitality for the evening. The nights are bitter and we have traveled a long way to bring this message to your door."

_Right and let you attempt to kill us in our sleep? _"Baka! You try my patience. Take your men from my home before I decide your heads would look better somewhere other than your shoulders."

One of the guards who hadn't tried to approach me drew his sword, "I will not allow you to insult my lady in such a manner!" I ground my teeth in furry as the fool rushed me and I prepared to deflect him with another barrier. _Och, must ye lass? Tis been a long time since this old dogs been off the porch. If ye let me handle this, darlin', ye won't need yer stocach's aid._ Uacteran's voice was an eager plea. I wasn't all that willing to find out just how much Sesshomaru had been holding back when we spared, but I was reluctant to be returned to that voided grassy plane while he used my body. Before I could ask him what he meant or accept, I felt the disconcerting sensation of my consciousness being pushed aside.

From a dreamy distance I felt a feral grin spread across my lips and knew my eyes were glowing an animal gold as my sword was drawn and my body flew into action. The other soldiers rushed forward and I heard my voice say, "And I thought I wouldna get any sport! Come, boyos, let's dance!" _Wound them don't kill them! _I shouted, but no sound crossed my lips. _Dinna worry, lass, he'll be gentle fer the child's sake._ My mamo's assurances did nothing to sooth me, but the fight lasted mere seconds. With flawless grace, and the efficiency Sesshomaru had been training me to, the last man fell away and I felt myself gain control as the sword's weight finished its flight. Smoothly I sheathed my blade.

Two men lay insensible and the one that had initially tested my barrier was bleeding from gaping wounds to his thigh and arm. I felt Sesshomaru's aura close and knew he was only inches behind me. _Thank ye lass, that was great fun_, but it wasn't fun, nor was it over. The horses panicked and bolted for the gate, the poor stupid monk fell under their hooves trying to stop them, but I had no time to see if he was alive or dead as the girl screeched, "You filthy whore! How dare you insult me and hurt my brothers! You will pay!" She pulled an enormous pendant from beneath her cloak and the black stone in its center seemed to draw the surrounding light into its sinister interior.

"Oh for God's sake!" I cried in exasperation as the vile, slimy atmosphere of the depraved ornament reached me. I moved to draw my sword again, but this time Sesshomaru beat me to the punch. With his usual speed and poise, he ripped the gem from her grasp and easily crushed it into dust. The girl seemed to wither with the loss of her toy, or maybe it was out of fear of Sesshomaru, but she fell to the ground sobbing. In horror I watched her gorgeous facade dissolve into a bent, crooked hag.

"The Miko told you to leave, ningen, do so now, or perish." The witch fled. The remaining soldiers managed to rouse themselves, and with a limping tempo, they also made their pathetic and terrified escape. Sesshomaru's aura seemed to swell for a moment and focus, I saw an evil green ooze escape his claws and envelope the remains of the stone; with a sizzling hiss the mess was vaporized. The houshi's groans alerted me to his presence and drew me from my stupor and I realized my obligation was not over.

_**Author's Notes: all thanks to my readers more acknowledgements to follow at the end of chapter 13. **_


	13. Disclosure, by Any Other Name

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's. Takahashi Rumiko does and though some late nights I think they own me; I'm using them here without permission.

The Botanist and the Beast

Chapter 13: Disclosure, by Any Other Name

_Dear Alice,_

_Do not attempt to contact me on the subject of cats and dogs again. The matter is quite closed on my account, after all, who wishes to discuss the positive quality of murderers._

_-The Mouse_

After the stone was destroyed I paid the unraveling drama little attention as I busied myself with the wounded monk. He was conscious, but as I ripped the fabric of his pants away from his bloody right leg I noted the trampling hooves had broken it. I glanced around and saw Rin peaking from behind the door of the laundry, "Rin, bring me the two small bamboo poles we were using to stir the wash pot." I heard the child's scampering about and seconds later she laid the requested items at my side. "Good girl, now go fetch my medicine." With a curt nod she pelted away from me and into the castle. I turned my attention to the injured teenager before me.

"All right, Daitokuji-san, just lay still, I'll have you patched up in no time."

"I'm sorry, O'Conghaile-sama I didn't know. I am such a fool!" The monk wailed. _Oh great, bellyaching, _I grumbled inwardly.

"Now stop that this instant! Don't start thinking that you're the first boy to be fooled by a pretty girl. Women are manipulative and cunning creatures that have been exploitation poor sots like you since the beginning of time."

"I'm sorry, O'Conghaile-sama."

"No apology necessary, but I'll make a deal with you, Daitokuji-san. You call me Donella, and I'll forgive you for being a fool. I'll also refrain from rubbing salt in your wounds for bleeding all over my nice kimono."

"Yes, Donella-sama." He gave me a weak smile. I heard pounding feet, and in a moment Rin's darting footsteps halted, as my bag and the little girl dropped to my side.

"Here huff you puff are, Donella gasp sama."

The panting child gave me a satisfied smile as I opened my bag and said, "Thank you very much, Rin-chan, you're an angel." The girl beamed. Focusing my attention on the battered leg I addressed my patient, "I'm not going to lie to you, Daitokuji-san, this is going to be very painful. Here put this in you mouth, I want you to bite down on it when I hurt you." Not waiting for his consent I shoved the cloth into his mouth and grabbed his leg. Setting a bone isn't as easy as you see in the movies; it takes a lot of force, and the crunching grinding pop of the bone being pulled back into position never fails to make me feel a little ill.

The monk's whole body flexed against the pain of my ministrations. I grit my teeth against my exertion and his muffled scream as I set and wrapped the leg. Rin let out a melodramatic shriek as the boy passed out from shock. "Rin, stop that." I growled crossly at the child.

She complied immediately with a cheerful, "Yes, Donella-sama!" As she peered at the boy with curious consideration as I worked.

"Donella-sama is the houshi going to stay with us?" I gave a short derisive bark of laughter, but Sesshomaru formed the first decisive answer.

"No, he will not. You should not waste your efforts, ningen, the monk deserves to die." Wiping some of the quickly drying blood from my hands I considered the pallid features of the unconscious boy with pity. _He can't be more than eighteen._

I turned from my finished work to glare at the stoic yokai, "Sesshomaru-sama, he is just a child, and while I understand it has been a very long time since you were anywhere near his age, it has been only a few short years for me. If I were condemned to death for every idiotic act I committed in my youth…I'd surely be on my hundredth lifetime by now." I looked down at the boy pensively, "I don't want him to stay with us either, however, the he can't walk out of here, and I won't have his senseless death on my conscience." I sighed.

"There is a small settlement two days walk from here. Ah-Un can span that distance in a few hours." I gave him a grateful look for the unexpected concession.

"Thank you Sesshomaru-sama," I gave the Daiyoukai an appreciative nod thoughtfully I scanned the area, "Jaken." The toad came rushing nervously from his hiding place at my call.

"Yes, Donella-sama?" He looked at me with worried hopeful eyes.

"Why are you still hiding?" I asked him in amused puzzlement.

"Your warning against revealing myself without permission was dire, Donella-sama." I chuckled at the reproachful tone.

"True enough. Please help me carry this monk to the stable and ready Ah-un to travel while I change into more suitable cloths." The toad gave me a traitorous look, but before he could argue the boy began to move on his own. I knelt at his side as his eyes fluttered open. "I'm so glad you are awake, Daitokuji-san, since this weather is vile and I was disinclined to drag you through the snow. Do you think you can stand?" The monk nodded weakly. Placing my shoulders under his arm and gripping his waist, I helped him to his feet. "If you feel up to the journey, I wish to take you to the nearest village for better care." Jaken scampered out of sight before I could remember I had a task for him.

"But, Donella-sama, all the villages in the area are decimated by that witches abominable magic." I gave him a reassuring smile but before I could reply, Sesshomaru broke in.

His voice was reticent and made the frozen courtyard feel like Bermuda in comparison. "There is no need for you to accompany him, Ah-Un is more than capable of making the journey independently and the excursion will quite cold at altitude." I sighed. _Sure make this hard._

_Be nice gal, he just doesna want ye out in the weather, and ye've already had a very tirin' day. He's worried fer ya._

_Worried my ass, why are you defending him? _When I spoke I could not keep my cross feelings from coating my words, "That is exactly why I have to go, Sesshomaru-sama. The boy is weak from his injury and blood loss; he will be unable to hold onto Ah-Un and keep himself wrapped in the garments and blanket necessary to stay warm through the trip." The boy was obviously frightened by Sesshomaru's bravado, but I turned him toward the stable, Sesshomaru remained surprisingly silent while I laid the boy down in the warm hay and gave him instructions to wait while I prepared for the short journey. However, as I made my way back to the castle, the stubborn yokai could not resist putting his foot in his mouth.

"I forbid you to proceed with this foolhardy undertaking." The incontestable decree in his passionless, sub-zero expression made me grind my teeth and stand straighter as, fists clenched, I let my eyes pin his with an angry challenge.

"I have made no oaths and no promises to you, Sesshomaru-sama. I am not one you can forbid or control. You may deny me the use of Ah-Un, and in that case my journey with the monk will last nigh a week with the pace his injured leg will allow." I stepped audaciously into his easy reach and looked up into his now angry continence unflinchingly, "I agree that he cannot remain here, but it is my duty to see to his safety. I will not ignore it because you see fit to prohibit me out of some spiteful caprice. You may not find me to be the most considerate, or respectful woman, but I have my own sense of obligation and honor, and I will not compromise it. I am no lackey of yours and I will not be treated as such. I serve myself first and others as **_I_** see fit." I emphasized the personal pronoun loudly as I furiously turned away from him and stomped into the castle, "I am not yours to command!" I declared as I slammed the door. I expected him to stop me, or rebuff me for my insolence; I was surprised as I changed into a warmer kimono an traveling cloths that I was allowed to do so undisturbed and even more so when I found him giving Jaken and Rin orders in the courtyard upon my return. He quickly broke off when he saw me. The duo, nodded in understanding, and went about whatever assignments he had given them as he watched me cross the quad with a predatory thoughtfulness that made me ill at ease.

"Good luck, Donella-sama, Rin will have dinner for you when you get back, and I'll keep the drying fire in the laundry going. Promise!" The giggling imp gave me a conspiratorial look and a hug before she dashed away. Leaving me too befuddled by her good cheer to comment on her odd expression and exuberance after having faced such recent peril. _Kid bounces back faster than a Superball. _I shook my head in mute wonder as I continued my cautious amble to the stable eyeing the menacing yokai apprehensively. _What the Hell does he want?_ But it was a frequent and rhetorical question where he was concerned and I pushed it from my mind roughly.

In my absence, Jaken had saddled Ah-Un, propped the monk on the dragons' back, and a wrapped pile of blankets around the pitiable teen. "Donella-sama, praise Buddha you have returned, that oni is a vicious creature and the yokai's aura unsettles my mystic senses greatly."

I gave a small chuckle, "Really? I find their proximity to be quite soothing at times," I remarked mildly, and pointedly ignored said yokai as I led the animal outside and mounted.

"Surely not! How could a Miko as beautiful, powerful, wise and compassionate as you be anything but on edge with such terrible monsters?" The monk's shocked tone made a merry laugh bubble out of me.

My yokai audience was making me uneasy and it took me a few moments to reply as I position the monk securely in my arms. Rewrapping the blankets around us, I nudged Ah-Un forward, "Your flattery is pointless and misplaced. I think we've had this discussion before, Daitokuji-san, I believe evil is subjective. I hold both the Daiyoukai and the kappa in the highest regards. Please, try not to slander them in my presence." Ah-Un launched into the air, and I was slightly annoyed when Sesshomaru's lithe figure past us and silently took the lead. _What is he up to?_

_Darlin' be easy, he's just protectin' ye._

_What is there to protect me from? The only menace I face his him._

"Donella-sama, does the yokai intend to accompany us to the village." I gave the monk a reassuring hug.

"The yokai's name is Sesshomaru, monk, please try to be courteous, and I'm not the one to decipher his intentions. Just know that as long as you remain respectful, you have nothing to fear from him." _I hope._

The monk fell into an exhausted silence as the clouds swallowed the evening sun and snow began to fall gently around us. _Time for some answers you two. If you could take over my body like that and talk to me, what exactly was with the out of body experience the other night?_

I heard a heavy sigh before Uacteran replied, '_Twasn't fer yer benefit, lass. I needed ta talk to yer stocach without yer interferin'._

I ground my teeth in frustration; _He is not my…_ but my protest was interrupted by Donella's gentle tone. _Lass, if it looks like a dog, and barks like a dog don't be surprised when ye're bitten. Ye may not have made advances to him, but ye care for him all the same._

It was my turn to sigh, _My feelings have no bearing on the matter. _I thought dismally.

_'Tisn't true, lass… _Donella began, but I interrupted her roughly.

_ Will I have to put up with your running commentary on my life as long as I wear this bracelet, because it's wearisome._

I heard a deep throaty male laugh. _Nay, lass, it takes a good deal of our energy ta talk to ya and even more for us to amplify yer power the way we have been, but we will be watchin' ya. _

_Well then, tell me about the bracelet._

_The stone of the torque was made from my bone and blood, lass. When Danu sacrificed herself for the world, one of her final acts was to seal yer mamo and me into the gem, waitin' on the day ye'd come here and need our strength. Every time ye draw on that power ye become a little stronger and our existence in this world becomes a little weaker. Eventually ye'll be able ta use it on yer own and we will finally be allowed to fade into Tir-na-n-Og._

_But why? _I cried in despondency and bewilderment Donella was the one to reply.

_Fer the balance, lass; twas all set into motion eons before yer conception in order ta protect and maintain the balance. The power'd rip ye ta pieces if we just let it all flood into ya at once. Ye aren't as strong as Neala was, bein' as yer sidhe blood is so weak. The power's gotta be fed to ya a little at a time so ye can adjust to it._

_Why do I need the power in the first place, mamo? Why the hell am I here and how the fuck does Naraku know about any of this? _My heart was pounding, and I couldn't keep my panic hidden from my own mind. I felt Donella's soothing presence flow through me.

Be easy. _Yer here to aid yer stocach, darlin'._

"Stop calling him that!" I growled out loud. The monk fidgeted restlessly in my arms, but the fiercely cold wind and Ah-Un's velocity kept him well muffled against me in the blankets and I couldn't hear his remark.

_Aye, lass, I'll stop fer now, but how long can ye deny the truth? The lad cares fer ye._ I snorted derisively, but my heart did an uncontrolled flip in my chest.

_Just tell me about Naraku, since talking fatigues you._ I urged as I looked out on my surroundings. The evening sky had begun to darken. The snow fell in earnest in the thickening gloom over the immaculate and consistent landscape.

_The beastie doesna know what we are, but just after ye left the torque with him, yer lad fought Naraku's bullyboy wearin' it. The twit felt the extra energy the pup had with him an' he dinna take long ta figure it was the new jewelry the lad was sportin' that did it. The plug-ugly tried ta take it from him, but the whelp wasna havin' none of it. Though he seems pretty burnt ta know he had help in the fight. Plucked the torque right off after that, none to gently I might add. 'Til he gave it back to ya, he'd just carried it 'round and we havena been able to do mucha anythin'._

Sesshomaru's vaguely glowing outline descended to the earth; I felt Ah-Un pitch downward as they followed their master and I struggled against the monk's weight as he leaned dangerously frontward. We were several yards from the village, shrouded in encroaching forest and I was grateful for Sesshomaru's prudence. The descent took only moments and was soon contemplating my dismount. I was hard pressed to detach myself from the warmth of the blankets and disentangle the boy from the dragons' harness, but after a few minuets of struggle, I managed. A short distance off, Sesshomaru watched impassively, obviously not intending to help as the weary houshi slid from the saddle and landed heavily in my arms. "Steady there, Daitokuji-san, you only have one leg to work with." I muttered as shifted his weight to my shoulders.

"I am very sorry, Donella-sama, I will try to be less of a burden. If it is not to forward of me, please would you call me Masuyo-kun?" His eager tone made me flash him a sunny smile.

I'd expect no less from someone who has ruined one of my favorite kimonos, Masuyo-kun. I will, however ask a favor in return, call me Donella-chan and promise me you won't go hunting any more of my friends. It would really dampen our budding amity if I had to rub salt in your wounds instead of mending them the next time we meet." He gave me a weak smile as we moved stiffly to the village.

"I do promise, Donella-chan, but I hope it will not take bodily injury for me to be blessed with your exquisite visage again." _Oi! The lad lays in on thick._ I laughed at both comments.

"Insincere flattery will not make this walk any shorter, Masuyo-kun, save your energy for moving," I grunted glibly, but the boy stopped at my words and stared into my eyes petulantly.

"But Donella-chan I am not being deceitful! Your hair is like a glowing fire and your eyes are as green and bright as shining jewels. I have never met a woman with such power, splendor and kindness; you are truly a wonder." His sober eyes searched my face fixedly. The hand on my shoulder was shaking with the intensity of his words and the teenager looked like he would burst into tears at any moment. _Oh God help me, he's really serious! _I sighed heavily and gave the boy a rueful smile.

"Come on we aren't making it to the village any faster by standing in the snow talking nonsense, Masuyo-kun, please don't make me drag you." I gave the houshi a tug on his waist.

"But, Donella-chan…" I interrupted him before he could say one more idol worshiping word.

"I heard you the first time, Masuyo-kun, and I thank you, but for now, let's just get you someplace warm all right?" The monk nodded and we made our sluggish way to the village while secretly I worried about what Sesshomaru was plotting from the shadow of the trees.

It took an eternity to drag the tiring houshi to the town, obtain lodging for him and explain why I was not staying myself. The quarter moon was well on its path through the clearing night sky by the time I returned to where I'd left Sesshomaru and Ah-Un. Only to find them gone, wearily I leaned against a tree and contemplated the snowy countryside. I could feel Sesshomaru's presence, but he wasn't standing anywhere obvious. _Look up lass._ Uacteran's sniggering voice prompted.

Sesshomaru was almost ten feet up my supporting tree, lounging on a branch and apparently studying the village. I crossed my arms over my chest and let my eyes drift in the same direction. In a low, idle voice I asked, "Does it look like anything more than a collection of mud huts from that vantage?"

He moved quickly from his post to my side. I tensed as his arm suddenly circled my waist and his hot breath in my ear whispered, "See for yourself, ningen," As he launched us into the air. He landed with cat like grace, rolling me in front of him on our narrow perch before lowering me to my feet. He released me then, but a strong wind on the branch threatened my balance and I felt his arm wrap around my upper torso as he rested his hand on my left shoulder. My heart was racing and I hoped he would think it was from fear. Then I shivered and also wished he would attribute that involuntary reaction to the cold, though my treacherous body was suddenly far to warm for my layers of winter clothing. His boa snaked down from his shoulder to wrap me in a warm cocoon, inadvertently drawing me even closer to him.

We remained silent in the intimate pose for several moments and I tried to be careful about keeping my arms crossed and not touching him as much as possible. My pulse eventually began to slow as I relaxed a little into the comfortable posture. I gazed down at the small community before us, outlined by the snow swept scene and illuminated by the sporadically glowing moon through the shifting clouds it looked like a postcard. When he spoke, the low rumble of his softly spoken word reverberated through my back, "Well."

His indiscernible tone didn't really make the word a question, but I answered him anyway, "In my life I have seen some of the most beautiful constructions than man can engineer over thousands of years. Where I come from we have cities that twinkle like gems with artificial lights in rainbows of color that never dim. I swear to you, Sesshomaru-sama, the shadow of those clouds on that pristine snow is more beautiful than any of them." My voice was low and wistful as I contemplated the contrasting images in my mind, _and he's prettier than that aye, lass? _Responded a mocking voice in my mind.

_I thought it took to much energy for you to keep up a commentary, dog breath?_ I asked crossly, but a chuckle was my only response.

"You paint a grim picture of the future to come, ningen." I sighed, and closed my eyes trying to banish my melancholy.

"It was easier for me to ignore the hypocrisy of it all while Adrian was alive, and even after he passed I had a good life that I enjoyed for the most part, but the truth is I do not hold my fellow man in very high regard. I find our conveniences and advances to be hollow attainments."

"And why is that, ningen." I gave a derisive snort and shifted my weight uncomfortably to my other foot.

"Because the majority of humans are to short sighted, not wanting to look past their own fleeting mortality and those with more prescience do not see past the inconsequential." My voice was sad now, and my exertions from the day added to my soul weary answer. I unconsciously leaned into him and then righted myself when I realized my error, though he did not move to rebuke my impertinence.

"Explain yourself." I chuckled.

"If I was less tired I would probably argue the obscurity of your statement, but I know what you mean. My point is this, what is the sense of ruling the world and having all the power imaginable, if you're realm is scorched earth, your throne is built on crumbling ruins and you are sovereign of an empire of corpses?"

The considering "hmm," in response rumbled through my entire torso flutteringly and I felt a blush rise in my cheeks and my heart speed up. Blessedly my peanut gallery had gone silent. "Tell me, ningen, why did you permit the monk such a familiar and intimate mode of address and then reject his advances?"

I tensed a little in his grip as the unanticipated and perilous question came flying out of left field and I felt his hand tighten gently on my shoulder, "The boy was in pain and I feel awkward that my behavior is partially to blame. Also, my rebukes about his ignorant viewpoints and his opinion of yokai in particular, have undermined his entire belief system. I wanted to show him that I bear him no ill will, and since such titles don't even exist in my society, it seemed like a small thing. As to the other…" I paused as I felt my face flush and struggled past my embarrassment, "while it has been a very long time since I've had a lover, I am not yet desperate enough to molest pubescent boys."

"Hmmm, your contradictory behavior perplexes me, ningen. When this Sesshomaru forbid you to make this journey you made an exhibition of disrespectful furry, yet you went to great pains to convince the monk to be courteous, and then you called me friend." I had a sinking feeling in my stomach; the tone of his voice had changed into something I didn't recognize. _God I wish I could see his face, what they hell is he getting at?_

"Sesshomaru-sama, why exactly are we in a tree, instead of returning to the others and where is Ah-Un?" I asked with angry apprehension.

"Ah-Un has returned to the Shiro. There are things I would discuss with you, ningen, and you object to being detained." _So let's put the obstinate ningen up a tree where she needs to do a kamikaze suicide jump or rely on you to get down._ The jump looked tempting. I ground my teeth and I felt his claws through the layers of cloths as he tightened his grip on my, pulling me even more tightly to him. _Trapped_, a fearful voice rang in my head and my heart rate increased. I thought I heard a snigger from my mental studio audience and a short growl of frustration escaped my throat. "It is a long way to the earth, ningen, and even further to the Shiro, watch yourself." The impassive warning was like a bucket of ice water on the boiling flames of my rage.

I took a deep, calming breath before I replied, "I am completely at your mercy, Sesshomaru-sama; I am not reckless enough to wage a meaningless fight when the odds are so monumentally stacked in your favor."

He let out a small grunt, "Answer my inquiry, ningen." I considered so long that he made a warning noise in his throat and his claws constricted menacingly into my shoulder.

"I am not disregarding your request, Sesshomaru-sama, I'm just uncertain about my explanation," _Time to open my mouth and my insert foot. God I wish I could see his face! _I ran an agitated hand over my head and ripped my ribbon out with a frustrated noise as I ruffled my bun into an unruly mane, "Just because I don't enthusiastically concede to every little impulse you may have, or worship you like Rin and Jaken do, doesn't mean that I don't have a great deal of respect for you." I grumbled, as I drew my agitated fingers from my hair. "Despite your often abrasive manner, distrustful nature, irascible mien and reprehensible accusations," I gave a small shrug and felt his arm rise and fall with my shoulders. "I think I trust you enough to call you friend with little fear of regretting it." I gave a rueful smile I knew he couldn't see, "Besides," I remarked ironically; "You are not nearly as insufferable as you were when I first met you." He made another low noise, but I couldn't keep the humor out of my voice when I hurriedly remarked, "I know, I know watch myself or I'll get free flying lessons and an expensive landing exam." His uncomfortable grip on my shoulder slackened and I heard an almost imperceptible sigh escape his lips as he leaned back against the tree, pulling me with him.

Silence reigned then, and I realized that, though I was almost uncomfortably warm in his hold, my legs were becoming quite cramped with their stationary position. The stress of the day and its toll on my body began to take. I slowly shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot several times trying to ease the tension in my limbs while ignoring the way his torso and hips rubbed against my back in the process. "Stop fidgeting, ningen." Is voice was a rough growl and I felt his breath in my hair. Physically I went very still as my internal organs paradoxically did summersaults.

Aware of my precarious hostage status, and my emotional turmoil I couldn't bring myself to give him grief over his insensitivity, but my voice was as aching as I felt, "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru-sama, but it has been a long and strenuous day for me. My muscles are not used to this much abuse and I'm afraid my legs may not hold me upright much longer," and just like that. I found myself tucked against his chest on his cross-legged lap, his arm encircling my waist. _Wow, who knew this could get any more awkward? _I was answered with another ghostly snicker.

My heart thumped against my chest like an escaping rabbit from a pack of starving wolves and I knew there was no way he couldn't feel it slamming through my veins. "I was really hoping we could return to the castle, these aerial acrobatics are really fraying my nerves, Sesshomaru-sama."

"We are not finished conversing, ningen I have one last question to ask you." His breath was warm against my ear and was far more distracting than I'd have liked. _Of course we aren't, because you have no idea how insane this is making me. Bad girl! Focus on not getting pushed out of the tree, not impossible mischief with unfathomable devil dogs. What pretty snow._

"Fine, ask away." I responded brusquely as I unsuccessfully urged my pulse to return to normal and hugged my arms to my chest fiercely.

"If you consider me your friend, are we then on affable enough terms for me to address you by your proper name?" It was as if someone sent a thousand volts of electricity through my body. I jerked away from him as much as physically possible while at the same time; I remembered vividly the first and only occasion I'd hear my name pass his lips, and the sharp thrill of joy it had given me. I felt his grip tighten in response to my adverse reaction and my mouth suddenly went dry. I momentarily lost my ability to think coherently. Obviously taking my violent reaction and silence as denial, he growled angrily has he yanked me from the tree. The ground came rushing towards us at an alarming rate. A tight squeal of terror escaped my lips as we plummeted, and then suddenly we were airborne again and conversation was prohibited by the break neck speed with which we returned to the castle as I clung to his breastplate for dear life.

_Gah, gal ye fouled that up right proper._

_What he startled me! What the hell does he want from me anyway? Unapproachable, creepy, irrational dog…_

_Watch yer self, lass, yer no less a bitch. The poor lad likes ye and yer not makin' it easy for him._

I appealed to Uacteran's more reasonable side, _Mamo!_

_I agree with my fear cheile on this one, lass. Despite his surly exterior the boy likes ye and yer too harsh on him. Throw the dog a bone._

_He didn't give me enough time to reply, and I didn't say no, besides what the hell do you guys know about it anyway?_

_I told ye, lass, the pup and I had a talk._

_But what the hell did you say to him you green haired, pointy- eared mongrel!_ I felt my hands ball into angry fists.

'_Twas nothing ye need ta know, ya ungrateful whelp, just believe the boy cares fer ya. _I let out a frustrated snarl and punched the hard breastplate in front of me. The action had the unforeseen consequence of the offending hand being seized, none to gently, by the owner of said breastplate as we made an unscheduled and rough landing still several miles from the castle gates.

"How dare you strike me, ningen!" The angry yokai roared as he flung me into the snow with the obvious intention of leaving me there.

I jumped up quickly and prepared to fire an angry retort at his back. _Nay, lass, listen to yer mamo, gentle words be needed here._ The cautionary and soothing tone reached me through my anger, my voice was an exhausted petition, "Sesshomaru-sama, please. You can leave me in this field, and I will readily walk the rest of the way back, but hear me out first, I implore you." His retreating back paused and I hurried on softly, "Your last question shocked me and I couldn't readily find the words to acquiesce properly. Of course if I would allow a houshi I barely know use my name…" I struggled to get past the lump in my throat and knew the bitter gag was my pride as I swallowed it, and I hung my head as I sputtered, "Then… Then you are not only welcome to do so, but it is a small slight to me each time you don't." I heaved a heavy sigh as I finished and stood trembling with the violence of my emotions as I examined my worn boots and waited for him to depart so I could have a good cry._ Well said, whelp._

_ You shut the hell up, seanathair altrama, or I'll trop this trinket down the nearest midden and to hell with your prophecy and balance. _The silence dragged and my racing heart and pounding blood cooled with the frosty night. Sesshomaru's inpatient voice made me jump as I looked up to meet his inscrutable, golden eyes, "If you have calmed yourself, Donella-san, I suggest you hurry. The meal Rin has prepared is probably quite cold by now and Jaken will be unmanageable of we delay much longer."

I eyed him skeptically for a moment before nodding and going to him. Softly I offered, "I find that a judiciously placed blow to the head will do wonders for Jaken's manageability, and attitude." He gave a small chuckle and I only stiffened slightly as his steadying arm came around my shoulders as we rose into the night sky. His boa wrapped comfortingly around us and I admit to falling into a fitful doze as we continued the rest of the expedition at a more reasonable pace.

I was jolted to full consciousness as we arrived into the courtyard and I found myself cuddled embarrassingly in the crook of his arm while his hand rested far to easily at the small of my back. Fortunately, my sleepy discomfiture was covered by Rin's exuberant shriek as she bounded giggling towards us. Jaken's almost simultaneous and contrastingly bad-tempered greeting produced a familiar, and somehow reassuring, accompaniment.

The fish stew Rin had prepared was still hot and I suspected that one of Sesshomaru's directives before we left was to anticipate our return to be several hours after dark. _Cocky, calculation bastard, _I thought and was relieved when my mental audience remained silent.

Sesshomaru disappeared before our trouping band made it to the kitchen, but is aura was still close. After dinner I listened to Rin rattle on for a while about how she and Jaken had finished the laundry and remade the beds and Jaken grumbled about the indignity of a yokai of his standing having to do domestic chores. When I could no longer maintain my mask of polite interest and my meaningless encouragements for more information I raised a surrendering hand. "Rin, you did an excellent job today. Both in helping with the chores and assisting with the monk, thank you." The little girl flushed with the praise and then stuck her tongue out at Jaken. I shook my head indulgently, "Could you go find me a hand lamp to carry to the bath?" The girl didn't bother replying as she eagerly pelted from the kitchen.

Standing I address the kappa, "Jaken, I am truly grateful for all of your assistance today, it was invaluable, especially during that unpleasant encounter. I want you to know, I really appreciate your level head and adherence to my instructions. You had no incentive to heed me and yet you did so with unquestioning valiance," I gave him a very formal bow, "domo arigato gozaimashita."

The toads eyes filled with tears and he grabbed my hand enthusiastically, "Donella-sama your performance today was stunning! The way you handled those ruffians was truly…" I flicked his stupid hat roughly as Rin returned holding an oil lamp gingerly.

"I won't have you spoil my perfectly good compliment by making me beat you, Jaken, just let it be." I replied crossly as the confused girl looked from Jaken's tearful countenance to my dour expression.

Tentatively she asked, "Has Jaken-sama done something wrong, Donella-sama?" I put a reassuring palm on the toads shoulder and felt the tiny claws on his tri-digited hand cover my own as he gave it a small squeeze.

"No, Rin-chan, today Jaken-sama has done absolutely everything right." I gave her an encouraging smile as I reached for the full lantern. "Now, thank you for the light, and if you two will excuse me I think a hot bath will do wonders for my frazzled nerves and sore muscles; I will bid you goodnight."

"Goodnight, Donella-sama." The girl laughed as I placed a kiss on the top of her head and wandered down the hall. For once Jaken remained speechless, _Maybe I should compliment him more often_, I reflected satirically

_**Authors Notes:**_

_**Short Irish-Gaelic/English Lesson:**_

_**Mamo: grandmother **(informal)_

_**Seanathair: Grandfather**_

_**Seanmhathair: Grandmother **(Formal)_

_**Altrama: Foster/adoptive**_

_**seanathair altrama: foster grandfather**_

_**Sin: great **(familial)_

_**Sin seanmhathair: Great-Grandmother**_

_**Leannain: Lover**_

_**Stocach: Boyfriend**_

_**fear cheile: Husband**_

_Tootsiepop254:** The Inu-no-Taisho of my Pomeranian Army, viva le revolution!!**_

_Arvael**: Updated sooner than you think, thanks for your praise and prompt review. ;)**_

_feathergriffin**: Thanks for your review! Donella needed a little nudge to figure it out, but I think she's /finally/ getting that Sesshou is looking at her a bit differently. Now what did Uacteran say to him. ;)**_

_Tsubasa Kya**: I will consider the "Botanist and the Beggar" and thank you so very much for the amazingly insightful post, sorry I haven't had a chance to reply more fully to any of my reviewers this story and life are eating all my time.**_

_The Painted Lady**: Keep up the keen insight and I hope you continue to enjoy the development.**_

_Wandering Hitokiri**: He's learning, but he's a rebellious puppy we have to be patient and keep a rolled up news paper on hand.**_

_Moonprincess**: I'm so glad you like the Gaelic angle, please keep reading.**_


	14. Crisis:Of Conscience,Claddagh’s,and

**Disclaimer: Um, yeah fourteen chapters and I am now thoroughly sick of these things. I own nothing but Donella and her badass attitude. So sue me, but I ask you, if I had money would I really be writing fanfiction? ;S**

The Botanist and the Beast

_**Chapter 14: Crisis: Of Conscience, Claddagh's, and Christmas **_

_Dear Alice,_

_You still have not successfully recited 'You Are Old, Father Williams' and I will not stand for your ignorance any longer. 'You incessantly stand on your head' Indeed! I am writing the Queen next, your head may function better without the distraction of being attached to your body._

_-The Caterpillar_

I woke to the smell of clean sheets and hot rice pudding as Rin jumped onto the bed and quickly snuggled her icy body into my sanctuary. I gave a surprised shriek as her chilly feet made contact with a toasty leg. The child burst into uncontainable laughter. "You think that's funny, Hotaru?" I challenged with mock menace, but before she could reply my door flew open and both Sesshomaru's aura and his tense person were flung into my room at an accelerated rate. Rin and I sat up immediately, humor being replaced by apprehension as we simultaneously asked him worried questions.

"What is it?"

"Sesshomaru-sama, should Rin hide?"

It took him a long time to reply as he eyed me pensively, "Why did you cry out?"

The question caught me off guard and I fought to hold back my laughter, I gave Rin a mocking look and waved a scolding finger at her, "I apologize, Sesshomaru-sama, but my bed and my sleep were disturbed quite suddenly by this child-shaped iceberg. My exclamation was not meant to raise an alarm." He gave Rin a prickly look and I noticed it was the first time I'd ever seen him without his armor. _Wow, really nice! Bad thought, bad thought stop. _I felt humor from my eaves droppers but no remarks were forthcoming as Sesshomaru sharply turned to leave. Impulsively I called, "Sesshomaru-sama, I'm sorry we disturbed you, though if you wish to join us for breakfast your attendance would not go amiss." He gave me a disdainful look, "I know the fair isn't to your taste, but the company would be appreciated." He gave me another drawn out look, and I felt a little panicked, _Ok, I've now completely lost my mind, what it the world was I thinking? God now I wish he'd just leave._

"Indeed." One word and it stunned me to my core as he claimed a chair at the small table. Rin gave me a mischievous look and bounded of the bed to take a seat next to him. _Why do I feel like woman waiting for her execution?_ I cautiously slipped out of the warm blankets and grabbed the quilted robe I'd left by the bed. While I tied the garish scarlet and black garment on over my yukata, I suddenly wished I was anywhere else on earth. _Jamaica's always nice, _I thought savagely Trying to make conversation I addressed the talkative child.

"I gather from the amazing smell of that porridge that Jaken didn't help you make it, Rin?" The child just giggled and shook her head while she shyly hid her face. _Oh for crying out loud what is wrong with her?_ I tried again, "and where is the asinine anuran this morning?" I asked as I poured tea and offered the first dainty cup to Sesshomaru before pouring one for myself.

"I think he's still asleep, Donella-sama, he was awful weird after you went to bed last night and spent a reeeeeaaaally long time scrubbing the kitchen up." I took a thoughtful sip on my tea as I considered the odd behavior. _Sheesh maybe I should compliment him less often, the toad has a knack for going overboard,_ I sighed.

"He has been acting pretty crazy recently; maybe I should talk to him." I murmured thoughtfully into my cup.

Rin gripped my arm earnestly and I had to scramble not to spill tea on her as she gazed up into my face, "Please don't, Donella-sama, he's being very helpful and if you talk to him he might stop." I chuckled as I set my tea down while she pulled back her arm.

"Naughty little imp, even Jaken needs some consideration some times." But I gave her a sly smile and a wink, "I'll let it be for a bit longer, but I'm afraid that Jaken being helpful is going to be worse that Jaken being disagreeable. If he doesn't snap out of it by the time we leave it may become a serious annoyance. Please, try to show him some mercy."

"Sure thing, Boss!" She gave me a quick salute before breaking into hysterical laughter and planting an enthusiastic kiss on my cheek, "Thank you, Donella-sama! I'm going to go take Jaken some pudding for all his hard work!" She bounded from the room and with a sinking feeling; I realized I was alone with Sesshomaru. I gave a rueful shake of my head as I focused on my own pudding and not the close proximity of the beautiful yokai. The meal progressed with only the small sounds of my eating and infrequent, muted sipping noises from my companion to break the silence. When the pudding was gone I pushed the dishes away and refilled my teacup. Wordlessly Sesshomaru pushed his empty mug across to me and I refilled it before reclaiming my own.

"Would it be tremendously impertinent of me to ask where you went yesterday?" I asked, raising half lidded eyes over my cup to look at his face as I sipped my tea.

"You do not seem to be very repentant of you past insolence. I do not see why it would bother you over much at this juncture." He replied smoothly.

I gave a small, good natured laugh, "I was not attempting to be reverent; I was merely shrouding my interest in the guise of courtesy."

A corner of his mouth twitched upward in a shadow of a smile before he hid it behind his cup. When he spoke, he was expressionless once more, "I became aware of malevolent magic being used in the vicinity and left to investigate the source. That search led me back here."

"The brigands and the witch," I observed, sipping my tea.

He gave me a short nod, "Though they were not, evidently, a threat."

"They seemed pretty threatening at the time." I remarked irritably.

"You did not appear to be ill at ease, ningen." I raised an eye brow. _After all that crap yesterday he's back to name calling._ "This Sesshomaru was in fact astonished by your poise." _Compliments from him this early in the morning could cause me to develop a heart condition. _

I sighed and put my teacup down, "Thank you Sesshomaru-sama, but I do not feel I handled the situation very well."

"Explain." A small crease marred his forehead in puzzlement, but only someone who spent a lot of time around him would have noticed the unperceivable crease. I breathed an even heavier sigh.

"I really wish I could have avoided an altercation. I dislike participation in needless confrontations."

"They destroyed several **hitobito**settlements and killed a number of innocents; even by jinrui standards their actions warranted death." I was captivated by his eyes. Even though the rest of his face remained an inscrutable mask, his eyes were incredibly expressive, showing a wide range of philosophy. Just then they were clouded with puzzlement. _So that's the key, eyes really are the window to the soul._ I thought with satisfaction, and I felt a small measure of approval that I know came from my mamo.

"I don't disagree with you, Sesshomaru-sama, they were definitely monsters and if they had pushed the issue I would have killed them remorselessly. I'm glad, however, that I'm not the one that will have to dig their graves."

Those animated gold orbs narrowed tightly, "You speak in circles, ningen. If you say you would have killed them without pity how then can you be glad they survived."

I gave him a grim half-smile, "I do not regret that my hands are unstained by their blood, because I am not overly fond of killing. I am, however, not pleased they continue to live. I'm just glad I don't have to waste my energy removing their corpses from the courtyard." His eyes widened a little at my words and then narrowed reflectively. _Did I surprise you?_ I wondered, but there were no sighs and I busied myself with gathering the breakfast things back onto the tray.

He stood, "Your sword skills have improved; it is obvious to this Sesshomaru that you will no longer require luck to win most of your battles, Donella-san." I faced him from my chair across the table, but mentally I was blown clear out of the stratosphere. I'm not sure if it was the unexpected praise or the use of my name for the second time in twenty-four hours, but my stomach did flip flops and my brain spun into the black void of space. Struggling for words I stood and reached for the teacup in his hand.

As he handed it to me our fingers brushed. I blushed furiously at the lurch my stomach gave and murmured awkwardly, "Ah, thank you, Sesshomaru-sama; I will regard that as a compliment."

He made a wordless grunt in response as I placed the troublesome cup on the tray and watched him; waiting for him to leave. He lingered there for several moments; gazing back at me with an inscrutable expression in is vivid eyes. Then, as if compelled, he looked away and strolled from the room. _Just when I think he's finally mellowing out, he finds new ways to be creepy and enigmatic. _

I shook my head in confusion as I went about the onerous task of dressing myself for the day. _At least I'm in the Sengoku Jidai and not the Edo period or I'd probably be reduced to dressing like a man to avoid all the complicated etiquette involved with tying my obi._

_Aye, lass, 'tisn't a bad idea, ye might try it out by asking that white haired pup if'n ye can try on his trews._ Uacteran sniggered.

I snorted my disgust, _If your going to waste your energy talking to me can it at least be mamo who does it? You're more pig than canine, seanathair._ I was grateful when I didn't receive a response and indolently, I made my way down the hall to the common room in search of my companions.

To my surprise Sesshomaru was with them, idly watching Rin and Jaken as they decorated the walls and furniture with glee. I stood in the doorway for several moments, stunned by the festive air and thoughtfulness of my friends. A small Umbrella Pine was positioned to my right and evergreen boughs from the same species were ornamentally placed everywhere. Someone had also twisted the difficult wood into a large wreath which they then adorned with silk ribbon, children's toys, and Japanese Holly before positioning it on the far wall near the round hearth. Jaken was busy flitting about the room hanging Ume flowers and humming tunelessly. Sesshomaru noticed my arrival immediately, but he said nothing as I watched the proceedings raptly.

The previous year I'd used Chinese Tallow Berries in place of mistletoe and I was overwhelmed to see Rin scampering about with several branches of the waxy white berries; gleefully placing them over every framed opening in the room. Finally, she turned to hall entrance and seeing me, dropped her burden and rushed forward exclaiming, "Donella-sama! What do you think? It was Jaken-sama's idea, does it look chrissmassy?" The girl leapt at me. Catching her up into a hug I held her in my arms as I continued to study the room. At Rin's outburst Jaken had paused in his work and cowered expectantly by fire. Sesshomaru just continued to give me the same inscrutable look from his location in the corner.

We all remained in that pose for a long while as I fought my overwhelming emotions and the tears of joy filling my eyes. _God, they really are something. _I thought as the love I felt for this mismatched band of vagabonds threatened to send me into an undignified fit. "Don't you like it, Donella-sama?" Rin asked concern furrowing her brow and making her voice sound tiny and uncertain. I gave her a rough squeeze.

"No, Hotaru, I absolutely love it." I whispered and Jaken visibly relaxed as he let out a long held breath.

"Then why were you so quiet, Donella-sama? You worried Rin." Her uncertainty had melted into childish annoyance and I laughed shakily as I set her down.

"I was just thinking how very, very lucky I was that you found me in that cave, Hotaru." I beep the child's nose and she giggled.

Jaken's shrill voice drew my attention to him, "Donella-sama, there are apples in the cold cellar, I am not sure if they are enough to make your cider, but I recall last years to be quite good." He remarked sheepishly.

"Really, Jaken, because **_I_** recall a certain Kappa tell me last year that he'd experienced warm urine that tasted better."

The toad blushed furiously as he bellowed, "Well perhaps I believe you will do better this year and wish to encourage you pathetic endeavors, woman!"

I beamed at him, "Well since you put it so nicely, **_toad_**, I suppose I will employ myself in the kitchen today attempting to improve my culinary skills. However, there are just a few items this room still needs to finish its festive adornment. I'll be right back." I hurried to the weaving room and pulled out my first real gifts to my new family. Last year I gave Rin a hair ribbon and fed her and Jaken makeshift Christmas fare. This year I had a very well stocked castle's resources at my disposal and, in the weeks we had occupied the place, I'd put my free time to use creating several individual gifts for the quartette.

I stumbled back into the common room moments later with my arms laden with paper wrapped gifts and four hand sewn stockings. With three sets of eyes watching me curiously, I gently placed the load under the unembellished tree and then I took the stockings and positioned them on the wall with the wreath.

Sesshomaru's was first, a simple white silk creation. In red thread I had painstakingly embroidered is name in both English and kanji down the side and placed the beehive and flower pattern from his kimono on the toe. Little, silver bells adorned the opening of each stocking and they jiggled merrily as I hung them up. Mine was a dark almost black purple with burgundy trim and lettering, as well as the O'Conghaile family crest complete with knot work and snarling green dog on its toe. Jaken's was light brown with a bright green cuff; his name ran down the side in yellow lettering and a floating lily pad in sky blue water decked the bottom.

In the morning Jaken would unwrap his gifts to find a thickly quilted wool and fur blanket lined with soft green silk and a new leather/wool cloak for harsh weather. Sesshomaru's present was small next to the mountain of gifts for Rin, but it was all I could decide for him. The hand painted, claddagh pendant took two days to make, several failed molds and firings in the shiro's ancient kiln before, with a great deal of trepidation, I eventually at a piece I could string on a black silk cord.

Three of the stockings would be stuffed generically with nuts and dried fruit while special bars of cherry scented soap would be given to Rin and three digit gloves for Jaken. As special considerations I didn't bother putting food stuffs into Sesshomaru's stocking, only a hand written translation of "Beauty and the Beast", though I was uncertain about its intelligibility or reception.

I had put the most thought and effort into Sesshomaru's gift and stocking, but Rin's consumed the most of my time. The orange and yellow quilting of her stocking made the green letters of her name and the snowy petals of the cherry blossoms at the toe glow as three fireflies swarmed around the festive bells on its cuff. In the paper wrapped packages that bore her name she would find a pair of winter boots, a douchuugi to match her kimono, a small backpack and five dolls resembling all of us. I'd cursed and bled over the two headed dragon and I had nightmares over Sesshomaru's reaction to his tiny silken double, but I could not bring myself to leave him out. Ah-Un would be graced with a new saddle blanket and the anticipation of everyone reactions to my offerings had me quite giddy.

"Donella-sama! They are beautiful! Look at the cute hotaru, and Rin loves her sakura flowers!" Rin proclaimed exaltedly as she immediately rubbed the soft fabric of the stocking between her fingers, Jaken seemed to be moved to brink of tears, though I was certain he didn't understand the significance of the ornament. Even Sesshomaru eyed his suspiciously as he ran an inquiring finger over the Latin letters, before aiming a pointed look in my direction.

"What do these symbols represent?" _Great, he hates it._

I blushed, as a ball of anxiety tangled my intestines, "It is how your name would appear in my language, Sesshomaru-sama." His eyes narrowed.

Gratefully Rin interrupted any further inquires, "Donella-sama! You made Rin presents, and their soft!" She declared squeezing the nearest package enthusiastically, "Can Rin open them? Please, please, please?" I laughed.

"I made gifts for everyone, Hotaru, but today isn't Christmas. You have to wait until tomorrow." The girl gave me a rebellious look but nodded as she put the parcel back with its compatriots with a sluggishness born from longing.

"Why don't you help me prepare the sweets and cider for tomorrows feast? I'll let you clean the bowls." I offered invitingly knowing her idea of 'cleaning' was to use her fingers to remove all the batter.

"Sure thing, Boss!" She cried and bounded from the room in the direction of the kitchen. Laughing I made to follow her.

"Donella-sama," Jaken's voice was rough with emotion and I gave him my full attention.

"Yes, Jaken?" I asked, agitated by the kappa's tone and Sesshomaru's movements as he returned to his corner station.

"Make a lot of those bricks you call cookies, we may have to use them to fuel the New Year bonfire." I gave him a gentle cuff on his shoulder for the slight, but we were both smiling.

"Only if you do something about that tree, it looks naked, and find me some candles or something." I remarked with faux severity as left him and perturbing master alone.

Late that night, Sesshomaru caught wearily filling stocking. "You should be sleeping, Donella-san." I seriously thought about revoking my permission for him to use my name, it was far more disquieting to my emotional state than, ningen was.

"Adults aren't supposed to get much sleep on Christmas Eve, it's a tradition." I replied with a smile as I replaced Rin's stocking and turned to look at him, but he was examining the now decorated tree.

"What is the purpose of this?"

"Ironically, a dead tree in your home is a symbol of hope, but frankly I think it's just a way to distract children from the temptation of presents." I wandered to the table and poured myself some tea, but it had long since grown cold and had become bitter. I placed the pot and cups back on the tray as he asked.

"What do the branches and other rubbish represent?" I raised an eyebrow at his slighting words.

"Evergreen boughs are to keep evil at bay since Yule is the time of the Wild Hunt and to show that even in the depth of winter there is life. The holly is dear to the sidhe, symbolizes eternal life, and the Tallow berries are the closest thing I can find to mistletoe this far from home." I smile over the recent memory of Rin antics over the ornament. She had ambushed Jaken and I under the bough several times throughout the day and the kappa was incensed over her giggling tricks. She'd even managed to press a kiss into Sesshomaru's palm once, to the yokai's complete astonishment. _Only one berry left by the hall door, and six there to the kitchen. Though no one has tried climbing out the window yet Rin has been busy, poor Jaken. _I chuckled softly.

"And what does it represent?" Sesshomaru pressed taking a seat next to me.

A recollection of my brother Matt popped absurdly into my head. I couldn't suppress my grin as I replied, "A trap." He raised an inquisitive eyebrow and my smile broadened. "Tradition mandates that, unless you want to bring misfortune upon yourself, any two people caught under the mistletoe must kiss, and remove a berry from the decoration. If there are no berries left then the good fortune has been dispersed and the obligation is removed. However, if fruit remain at the end of the holiday, then they should be burned on the Yule fire to avoid the ire of the fairy folk." I looked at the ornament reminiscently, "My brother always said it was an evil holiday trap, orchestrated by old ladies and girls to force him to have to kiss people like Aunt Katie and cousin May. He'd spend whole Christmases trying to avoid the rooms with mistletoe." I gave a small chuckle at the memory of my poor brother at age nine being dragged, kicking and screaming under the mistletoe by Aunt Gertrude.

"Hmmm," He replied thoughtfully, "So that his why Rin behaved in such an absurd manner." He paused for a moment as his hand disappeared into his sleeve, "Tell me then, what is the meaning of this?" His hand flew out and placed something on the table. Looking down, I saw the claddagh I'd made lying on the polish wood between us.

I gave him a wry smile, "Well to begin with I would say it means Rin wasn't the one I should have been lecturing to about the virtues of patience."

"This Sesshomaru does not have to abide by your meaningless directives, answer my question," He replied with a disdainful sniff.

I rolled my eyes at him as I idly traced the crown, letting my touch wander down to one of the hands that held the heart aloft, _Well their often exchanged by lovers to show affection or given as wedding gifts… I'm **so** glad I thought this through!_ "It's called a claddagh; each part represents a virtue. They are given as a token of," I paused briefly in a struggle to find an innocuous word, "friendship." _Safe! Now I just have to get past the heart and I can go kick myself in the shelter and privacy of my own room_, "The hands represent friendship, the heart: devotion. The crown signifies loyalty and nobility. If we were in my time I probably would have given you a CD and a book, but my resources were limited and I would have felt callous if I'd left you completely out of the festivities." I let my hand curl around the ornament; _Well I tried,_ "Though I admit it was a mediocre conception. If you don't care for such things I can always…" The speed at which the pendant was snatched from my loose fingers halted me.

"This Sesshomaru did not say he disliked the object, ningen. Do not presume." He remarked frostily as the clay adornment disappeared somewhere up his sleeve. _I'll take that as a positive reaction I guess._

Feeling a bit discomfited by the elation that one, small gesture of acceptance gave me, I struggled to change the subject, "May I ask how long you plan for us to wait here?" My nervous fingers worried the sleeve of my kimono, I watched them absentmindedly.

"The extreme cold of winter nights is unsuitable for Rin's fragile body. You will therefore remain here until spring." His tone had the finality of an order and it made me look up at him sharply.

"So you expect us to meekly sit here while you continue to search for Naraku?" My tone was severe but he didn't seem to register my presumption as he calmly answered.

"I would expect a great deal more from you, ningen, but I have found that you would disregard such logical behavior. However, I do not see that you have much choice in this particular matter." As smooth and passionless as a frozen pond, his words ignited mutiny in me.

"I'm not sure I should be listening to a lecture on logical behavior from a man who continues to pursue the same antagonist, with near fatal results, and never manages to gain anything by it." His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You presume too much, ningen, how dare you reproach this Sesshomaru." His voice was a treacherous growl that sent a shiver through my body and made my hair stand on end.

_Big bully, always relying on brute strength and intimidation, fuck you._ I kept my voice calm when I replied, "I dare because no one else will; I dare because it's the reason Jaken worries himself sick, but you ignore him. I dare because Rin worships you like a god and I'm the one who's going to have to watch her fall to pieces when you get yourself killed to prove you aren't."

"You believe I would be so easily defeated, ningen?" Anger flashed brightly in his eye.

"I believe I have seen you closer to it that I ever wish to and Byakuya is only a part of that abomination. I'm not certain why this means so much to you. Perhaps it's pride or honor or some need to prove you are stronger than he is, but if defeating Naraku could be done by brute strength alone you would have been finished with him already." Hi eyes were beginning to take on a familiar evil glow but I pressed on with the memory of his weak, battered body fresh in my mind, "I'm not saying that you can't defeat Naraku, I believe with my entire being that you can, but not the way your going about it." I angrily balled my hands into fists and glared into his menacing eyes, and snarled, "What frustrates me the most is I know you're smarter than that. You're smarter than him, but you keep chasing him around and playing his pathetic games instead of devising one of your own and I can't sit silently by and watch you kill yourself that way." I choked on the emotion that had some how lodged themselves in my throat as I dashed the tears from my eyes with trembling hands. _God! Why am I crying? I don't want to cry in front of him._

I averted my face and stood abruptly, intent on leaving him before I could make a bigger fool of myself, but his clawed hand shot out and retrained my wrist in a death grip. The contacted made me glare down at him, heedless of my tear stained appearance as I tugged uselessly on the captured limb. "Sit, ningen, there are things I would say to you." He growled.

"I am sorry for that, Sesshomaru-sama, because I don't believe I am in a frame of mind to listen at the moment." I gave another furious tug on my captured limb, but his grip was unyielding.

"You will listen, Donella-san." The use of my name and the inexorable grasp on my wrist quelled my rebellion; I looked away sullenly as I sat.

"Since I have little choice in the matter, would you at least keep your admonishments brief, the sun will be up soon and I wish to bathe before the others wake." Silently he turned my hand over and examined my callused palm; he loosened his hold on my extremity to cup the back of my hand in his large palm while he gently ran his thumb over the tough skin. A small tingle went through me at the unexpected touch and I tried to pull my hand away but his clutch tightened again as he looked to my angry, downcast face.

"The sun is still several hours from rising, ningen. Seeing as I have no intention of reprimanding you for your unacceptable behavior, I am certain you will have adequate time to bathe." I stared at an embroidered flower on my obi and remained assiduously silent. He made an impatient noise and grabbing hold of my chin forced me to meet his icy gaze. It was a wonder than I didn't melt those frozen depth with the furnace of fury that burned from my own grief wracked orbs, he let his hand drop, but I continued to glower at him.

"Time is not measured by yokai the way it is by you ningen, a span of decades mean very little to my kind, but some events require an accurate accounting and are remembered. Five years ago, Naraku abducted Rin from my care thinking that I could be coerced into killing Inuyasha in exchange for her life. At that time she had only been following me for a few cycles of the moon, yet I had some how grown accustomed to her presence." I broke in with a derisive snort; I think it was the tears and my own hurt dignity that made me lash out at him so vehemently.

"Please he wounded your pride by taking Rin and insulted you by his attempt at manipulation. I believe you have a soft spot for the girl now, but that's obviously from years of association not some passing fondness of a few months. I may be human, but I'm not foolish or sentimental enough to believe your vendetta against Naraku has to do with anyone else but you and you alone, Sesshomaru-sama. You insult my intelligence if you expect me to believe anything else." His hand shot out and enclosing my jaw in an iron hard grip that forced me violently into silence. _Wow, deja vu._

"Do not interrupt me again, ningen." I kept my eyes steadily locked with his as, ironically, I felt my heart slowed and I grew calmer.

"Fine." I retort dully. He loosened his fingers and withdrew his hand. I realized that he was no longer physically detaining me, but I decided not to test his patience and remained sitting as he continued.

"During that encounter, Naraku attempted to goad me several times into doing his bidding. The coward does not like to dirty his hands. Instead he manipulated a boy named Kohaku as well as his minion Kagura to do his will in an attempt to eliminate Inuyasha and absorb my own power." I had heard the story from both Rin and Jaken, but the account Sesshomaru gave was more analytical, more detailed and in his defense, not very flattering of his own impetus. "You are right to say that I was initially motivated by anger and slighted honor, but as the years pass Naraku's malevolent existence has become intolerable and cost too much. I will be unable to continue my own endeavors until I see his end at my hands, but It has only been recently, with the introduction of you bauble, that I have been forced into these distracting skirmishes with his incarnation." He took some time in the explanation of his search for Naraku's heart, and his plans to destroy it. It was like a light bulb had been turned on in my head. When he had been silent for a prolonged time I finally spoke dejectedly.

"If I hadn't come here you wouldn't have to play this cat and mouse game with Byakuya. Why in the world didn't you just leave me in the woods when you had the chance? Rin and Jaken's discontentedness over my absence would eventually fade, but my continued presence is nothing more than a liability to your mission." I again felt the futility of my circumstances and the uselessness that had plagued me since my arrival. Folding my head to the table I murmured into my shielding arms, "How am I supposed to be of any assistance if I am the cause of so much hardship?" I felt a wordless comforting within me and knew my mamo was attempting to sooth my anxiety without wasting the energy of speech. I closed my eyes against more tears and breathed deeply.

"Baka, ningen, while it is true, your company is not required, and may have caused some minor difficulties in the past; there have been a number of occasions where you have proven yourself quite valuable. Though lacking in common sense, your courage in the face of adverse circumstances has also been of some small assistance. Also, since your last parting, it has become obvious to this Sesshomaru that your absence at this time would cause Jake and Rin to be more than discontent." I lifted my head a little to see his vexed features, "In the time the kappa has been in my service I have never seen him in such an appalling state, I was almost forced to kill, him, again." I chuckled at that. Initially it was the shock of his obvious attempt to comfort me that banished my grief, but then his reassurances had made me feel genuinely better. I gave him a limp smile that was incompletely concealed by the fall of my hair and I was glad that my sorrow wrecked appearance was obscured.

"A few days after my arm was injured in that fall, Jaken told me the story of how you, 'tested' your sword. I believe he was attempting to reassure me that there are worse possible fates than a few bruises. Though I must admit, it was an appalling tale, Sesshomaru-sama."

He made a pained noise, "Jaken speaks to freely. However, I have more effective methods of expel my dissatisfactions than abusing Jaken. Though, occasionally I will revert to by old practices, I do not believe you require me to apply the same measures to modify your unsuitable conduct." I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. Leaning forward he gently pushed my hair back behind my ear and when I tried to hide behind my arms again I felt his index finger press my chin warningly. I stilled and when I spoke I felt the edge his incredibly sharp claw poised to break the skin at the slightest misstep.

_One minute he's nice and the next he's reminding me I'm walking a razor's edge. God, grant me strength._

_Hush child, he's nay gonna hurt ya._ Donella's voice was a warning of its own and it annoyed me.

_You hush; no one need's a peanut gallery at a time like this._

_But do ya really grasp what sorta time this is?_ Uacteran's voice in my mind was mocking.

_You, I really don't need right now!_ I scolded and they remained silent, but they had helped raise my ire towards the canine control freak holding me captive. "And what unsuitable manner am I displaying at this moment that requires this coercion, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"I will not have you hiding like a child while I speak to you, Donella-san. I would have you," he paused for only a second. Through the emotional flutter the use of my name had caused within my person, I noted that he was having difficulty explaining himself, yet his voice remained as stoic as always, "look toward me, directly." I frowned slightly at the odd statement, _'I would have you look toward me, directly'?_ W_hy the hell can't he just come out and tell me what turbulence is rolling under the surface of that icy mask? Why must he leave me tilting at windmills with these obscure acts and indiscernible phrases?_

My brows were still furrowed in confusion, but my answer was conciliatory, "As you like, Sesshomaru-sama." His touch slid gently from my chin, almost caressingly, although I was certain he was incapable of such an intention.

"I will tolerate no more discussion of your leaving. You are," again that slight, bewildering pause, "significant to this endeavor, Donella-san," I opened my mouth to reply but the words were stuck behind an embarrassingly large yawn and I covered my mouth politely as I blushed. _Thank God for small distractions._

"My apologies, Sesshomaru-sama, the hour is late and I am fatigued. Before my involuntary reaction to the time, I had intended to say that I will not broach the subject again until Naraku is dead. If that is what you wish." I'm not certain what reaction I was expecting, but I know it was not the agitated scowl I received from him or his impatient, dismissive response.

"It will do, go bathe and take your rest, Donella-san, dawn approaches." His tone was almost sullen. I nodded my acceptance, but his behavior puzzled me as I absently gathered the tea tray into my arms and made my way to the door. _He got his way didn't he, what was he expecting me to say?_

_Gah, lass yer hopeless the man wanted ye to say ye'd stay._

Uacteran's exasperated exclamation annoyed me. _I did say I'd stay!_

_Nay lass, Uacteran has it right ye dinna tell him what he needed ye ta._

_And what is that?_ I demanded angrily as I reached the doorway, but my internal monologue ended as I struggled to slide the door open with my tray laden hands. The cups rattled lousily against the tea pot as I labored with the contraption and the juggled load. Ten Sesshomaru was next to me; sliding the door open, I gave him a shy smile. "Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama."

I turned to go but he blocked my exit with his body, pressing me back into the door jamb. Startled and a bit frightened by the aggressive behavior; I was unprepared when he leaned forward and brushed my lips gently with his own. My brain went numb and my blood boiled in my veins as my heart tried to make a kamikaze dive from my chest. I felt my eyes go wide is astonishment as he drew back and reached above the frame to remove the last berry from its branch. "I do not believe I wish to risk misfortune from foreign magic, it is good that the enchantment has been dispelled now," I still could not get my vocal cords to work or the jello between my ears to invent anything to say as, in a rustle of silk, he disappeared down the hall.

_**Authors Notes:**_

**_The Christmas episode! ;) Also classes start tomorrow so posts may slow down a bit, but I'll still be working on this, probably as much as my dissertation. So if you think it's slow just remember: so is what the peer review at the college is getting! _**

_**Please bear with me I am only a second year student of the language:**_

**Ningen: Human (individual person)**

**Hitobito: Humans (A group) (I think)**

**Jinrui: Humankind/Humanity**

_**Thanks to all my readers and special thanks as always to **Tootsiepop254**: who listens when the plunnies attack.**_

_Arveal:** You have managed to hang in there and read loyally, even when I garble the English into incomprehensibility, Thank you so much!!! I hope the translation helps!**_

_FeatherGriffin**: Your cunning and eager reviews keep me not only on my toes, but fervently tapping away to continue the story, thank you. **_

_Wandering Hitokiri and Tsubasa Kya**: So Glad you like them! They make me giggle with glee to write.**_

_Suki dah Turdle, sueariel, HikoCassidy, FaintlyAlarming, InuDstories,_ _Inusbabe,_ _inusrosebudforlife, JamminChick93613, moonprincess, and all the rest: **Thank you so much for your reviews. They're like crack, makes me all giggly and eager to tap at my keyboard until 4am. Please keep reading!**_


	15. Noodles, Served Ice Cold

**Disclaimer: Wow a disclaimer. Ok this is chapter 15, if you made it through all the other chapters then you know who, what belongs to, if you just popped onto this chapter randomly, read backwards. **

_**PS: I am aware of the format problem in the middle of the chapter, but it is a problem with this sight and not the document, I'm sorry I can't fix it. :(**_

The Botanist and the Beast 

Chapter 15: Noodles, Served Ice Cold

_Dear Alice,_

_So the baby became a pig? Good for it! I some how knew it would make a better swine than a child._

_-The Cheshire Cat_

_**Some Vocabulary to help you trough the chapter:**_

_Pog:_ Kiss

_crann clis:_ Trick Tree (n) reference to a portion of male anatomy (please don't make me explain it. blush)

_Amadan:_ Idiot, fool, stupid (n)

_muchadh is ba ort_: Smothering and drowning on you.

Nintoujo: Jaken's staff of two heads

The next few days passed fairly uneventfully. Rin loved her dolls and spent hours acting out imaginary scenes with them. Most ended ironically with Sesshomaru-sama Doll defeating Naraku or wolf yokai while standing on the Jaken-sama Doll's head, sometimes he saved her other doll Kazuko from the bandits that had ravaged the doll's home. Ironically Donella-sama Doll spent a lot of time cooking and playing in rivers and Rin wouldn't rest until I had promised to make Donella-sama Doll a little black sword and journal just like mine. "So she can write down her memories and play fight with Lord Sesshomaru-sama Doll! Donella-sama Doll can kill bad bandits too!" She exclaimed in childish glee and making my tiny double face the imaginary bandits she declare loudly, "Take your men from my home before I decide your heads would look better somewhere other than your shoulders!" I winced inwardly and, to my chagrin, I actually heard a soft chuckle from Sesshomaru, until he caught sight of his own small effigy.

His initial reaction to the toy was not as hostile as I had imagined, though still unflattering. His face became a mask of thinly veiled antipathy as he immediately claimed his soft likeness from Rin and scrutinized it, "I do not find this object amusing, ningen, this Sesshomaru will not be mocked." He closed his fist around the doll and glared daggers at me.

I fought not to sigh in exasperation. _Well, at least I anticipated this one_, I thought smugly as I launched into my prepared speech, "I apologize if that is the way you interpret it, Sesshomaru-sama. It was never my intention to ridicule you; I merely wanted Rin to have something to play with until the flowers come back." I lowered my eyes to the floor to hide my annoyance and hoped it would make me appear docile, "Where I come from we give children dolls of those we believe have exceptional traits, in order to help then adopt those same qualities through mimicry and play."

When I paused to look up at him, Rin leaped into the fray with tears in her eyes, "Sesshomaru-sama please, stop hurting Sesshomaru-sama Doll, I love him the most of all my dolls and Donella-sama works so hard to make him the best!"

The sniffling plea had an immediate affect on the yokai. His expression instantly softened and his grip on the toy went slack. Turning to the child he gingerly handed her to doll saying severely, "Do not allow it to become dirty or treat it poorly, Rin, or I will destroy it." In that brief sentence he made it sound simultaneously like the most precious and foulest object he had ever seen. Then he turned haughtily and stalked from the room. Rin's tears and sorrowful countenance evaporated into oblivion the second he was out of sight and she merrily returned to her game. It was the last time the topic was mentioned in his company.

Though his aura was strong throughout the castle, and he attended every evening gathering just long enough to hear my bedtime stories, Sesshomaru was markedly absent from our everyday routine. Rin and Jaken however, did not appear disturbed by his aloof behavior, but I admit I missed his company. _He wasn't around much during that year I lived in the village and even traveling, it wasn't like he was a real active member of our group…_I tried to push the longing away every time he popped into my mind, but unfortunately my mental studio audience made their amusement known rather loudly at the most inopportune time, and in Uacteran's situation, quite vulgarly.

For example: my evening bath. I was relaxing into the soothing heat of the water thinking, _There is absolutely nothing better than a long hot soak after a hard day's work. Well, maybe a massage, how far away is the nearest masseuse," _I though idly, and considered the present date,_ "actually, how long until they make that a profession?" _I chuckled a little at my on ridiculousness, "_Oh well, swimming pool size baths are awesome._ I declared to no one in particular as I sank down into the bath, when an annoying mental voice rudely interrupted my indolent musings.

_Bet that white haired pup would be happy to give ye a rub down, lass, _Uacteran chuckled knavishly.

_I don't think I need you commenting on that particular aspect of the already confusing life I lead_, I remarked peevishly.

_Uacteran has a point my darlin' and that wasna handshake he gave ye t'other night._ Donella replied knowingly.

_It was nothing, _I replied crossly, not wanting to repeat this conversation, but I couldn't help the sharp thrill that ran up my spine over the memory.

_Gah! Who ya lyin' the blarney on ta lass?_ _The lad pog's ye and ya say it's nothin'! What does he havta do, whack ye with his crann clis befer ya notice?_ The disgust in is voice annoyed me slightly less than his crass metaphors.

_I know you're a dog but try to think with something besides your own crann clis for a second._ I sneered,_ it barely qualified as a kiss, he had a reason; it meant nothing,_ I mentally yelled, but even I felt the lady was protesting too much. Uacteran interjected with several more lewd remarks, and after yelling at him to leave me alone a few more times, an uneasy silence descended, but by then the tranquility of my bath was ruined and I called it a night.

I had been rather hesitant to spar with Sesshomaru again but his prolonged truancy and my mamo's hounding finally had me back in the guardhouse two days before New Years going through my katas. _Focus me darlin', the more control ye have the easier it will be fer ya ta use the power at will. _Donella's restful voice was a nice counterpoint to Uacteran's snide instructions.

_Gah, lass, ye wield that pig sticker like ye are afraid of yer own shadow! T'sn't a wonder ye dinna go fer the lad! Yer a cowered! Donella, we should go back ta sleep, we waited too long, yer blood's fire t'was burned out of this line generations back!_ I tried to ignore him, but his verbal abuse was maddening and I continued to get more and more frustrated with him as I struggled to focus on the measured and precise moves. Finally I stopped and bellowed into the empty room. "What the hell do you want me to do you heckling brute?"

_Aye there's a spark in ye yet lass, but ye still havena got the fire burnin' where's yer rage, where's yer passion?_An incredibly vivid image of Rin in front of my hut popped into my mind's eye, the bandit's sword tearing through her exposed stomach and her tiny, pain-filled cry made my heart ache and a violent need to strike back fill my stomach. _Aye, better, lass, now use the anger. Focus it inta yer sword like ye did before with yer fear and frustration._ Another memory followed the first. This time I saw Sesshomaru ensnared and screaming in Byakuya's glowing trap and then yet another of him wounded, week and unable to stand. My grip on my sword tighten, I felt the power flow through me as I started the kata over again. Uacteran continued his taunting but I ignored him as I focused on the practice dummy and, with a burning memory of my enemies before me, I thought only of my weapon going through the shape like a hot knife through butter.

Then the unexpected happened. Sesshomaru's aura rolled over me like an arctic wave just as my sword touched the mannequin's armor. The sudden knowledge that he was there watching distracted me and fear rushed through me as I worried he would try to spar with me again. My panic made me lose my focus, and the mock-up at my swords edge exploded in a shower of armor and straw. Trembling I lowered my blade and surveyed the damage.

The dojo was covered in debris and I could feel pieces of the dummy in my hair, covering my kimono and a thin layer of grime from the dusty hay lay all over the exposed skin of my arms and face. I sighed heavily, "If that had been living flesh this would be really disgusting." I muttered to no one in particular.

_Aye, lass, but doin' somethin' 'tis better than doin' nothin', ye'll get the knack fer it yet, lass. That took a lot out o' yer mamo and me though._

"An impressive display, Donella-san," Sesshomaru's chilly voice caused me to turn and face the door, blushing a little over my disheveled state.

The force of the blast had pulled several locks of my hair out of my bun entirely, as the ribbon and the remains of the coif dangled haphazardly at the back of my head. "Unfortunately, this was not my desired effect, Sesshomaru-sama." I remarked with a rueful wave at the wreckage. He made no response, and after a few silent minutes, I sheathed my weapon and began removing the mannequin's remains with a broom.

It took me a half an hour to clean the guardhouse. Dillegently, Sesshomaru kept silent watch the entire time and I tried to ignore his stoic existence as assiduously. When I returned the broom to its customary corner I again glimpsed my filthy arm. _God I'm filthy!_ Blushing a deep scarlet and moving to the occupied exit I muttered shyly to the mute bystander, "If you'll excuse me, Sesshomaru-sama, I wish to go clean myself up."

He didn't reply, but before I could push past him, Tenseiga was drawn and I was knocked back to the center of the room. Reflexively, I withdrew my wakizashi and took a defensive stance, "I do not wish to fight you, Sesshomaru-sama." I made my voice an angry warning, as my stomach was pinched tightly in dreads icy grip. _I don't want to hurt you._

"At this moment, what you wish is inconsequential, ningen." He remarked calmly as he charged. He meticulously blocked the room's only exterior egress, giving me no choice. His attack was as furious as it was swift and allowed me no prospects for retreat. I quickly lost patience with the exercise and my fear evaporated under the pressure of my resentful wrath. I suddenly changed my defensive tactic, kicking out towards his feet as I aimed a cut at his torso.

My ploy had the desired effect; he jumped back and gave me a few precious seconds to think. Balling all of my confused emotions up and focusing them on a point directly in front of me I thought, _BACK OFF! _

Predictably, he lunged forward to renew his attack, and was repelled with enough force to shake the building and knock him clear through the exterior wall and across the courtyard to land at the laundry door. I heard my sword clatter to the guardhouse floor as, in a horrified fog, I ran through the newly fashioned outlet intent on reaching his side.

Yet, he had other plans, with an angry roar he stood and charged me again. Turning to run back into the dojo I tripped over debris from the wall and sprawled forward onto the wreckage and felt my head make painful contact with a jagged tile. _I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!_ I thought fervently as I felt his sword-generated wind on my back. A bright glow surrounded me then, and just like Byakuya's flame, I felt Sesshomaru's sword brush the skin of my barrier as it was deflected. _Aye! Ye did well, lass!_ Uacteran's weak voice overflowed will pride and Donella's congratulatory approval ran through me, just before my world shrank into a black void of unconsciousness.

I woke to darkness and after a few, hazy moments; I realized I was in my own bed. My head hurt terribly as I struggled to sit up, but the pain brought me further from my stupor into the real world. I hear a low moan escape my lips. Suddenly a strong hand was supporting my back and a rich baritone voice spoke from the darkness, "You hit your head very hard, Donella-san, if you are still in pain you should not move."

Remembering the events leading up to said head injury I remarked crossly, "Since my condition is a direct result of your actions, I don't think I care to hear your opinion on the matter, Sesshomaru-sama." I leaned away from his fortifying embrace and scrambled to my feet. I was grateful to find my equilibrium was not marred by nausea or dizziness as I carefully moved from the bedside to the table and lit the lamp. The sudden illumination hurt my eyes; taking up the hand mirror I carefully watched my pupils dilate. _I wish I had a flashlight, but it looks like I was saved a concussion_. I sighed my relief and sat in the nearby chair. Sesshomaru coolly claimed to seat next to me and the fact that he remained rankled me, "Why are you still here?" I asked in a quarrelsome tone, simultaneously elated and angered by his presence.

Instead of the answering my question he countered with one of his own, "You have been unconscious since yesterday morning. How are you feeling?" I gave him a hard look. _As if you care!_

"I feel like I've been trampled upon by an asinine yokai and then struck on the head with a rock. However, I don't appear to have a concussion, so I was probably spared any lasting impairment." I answered harshly. "Do you have anymore empty inquiries, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"Indeed, I will assume hunger is causing your inappropriate decorum, perhaps sustenance will improve your manners and sense of propriety." _Yes, I am ravenous and you are the last person I want to see right now. I am also chilly. _I thought distractedly as I looked down at my cloths, someone had managed to bathe and redress me in my sleeping yukata while I had been unconscious. A slow blush crept into my cheeks when I thought about whom, and decided instantly I'd rather remain ignorant and find something else to think about. _Don't think about bath time with Fido; think about rice, or chicken, grilled steak, Elvis, cats, wow I have got to pee!_

"Rin has made a large quantity of noodles in honor of the New Year and she was quite eager to have you present for dinner, however, that time has long since past. I believe Rin and Jaken are outside now building a large bonfire in eager anticipation of dawn."

"Oh my God! Today is New Years! Rin will be terribly disappointed of I don't join them." I stood quickly, and he mirrored my action, offering my robe to me.

I took it self-consciously and waited for him to depart, but he continued to wait mutely. _Oh brother do I have to actually ask him to leave?_ "If I am going to join the others in awaiting the sunrise, Sesshomaru-sama, I will need to dress." _Get the hint, God, get the hint, and please, if you've previously seen me naked just leave and take the knowledge to your grave. I really have to pee._ I thought fervently. The awkward silence dragged as he gave me a brooding look.

"Indeed, you will find everyone in the courtyard when you are prepared," his reply was halting, but the words finally made their ponderous journey past his vocal cords. The silence and his serous air had begun to grate on my nerves, but the moment he finished speaking he strode from the room. Despite the Ice Prince's departure, the whole place felt colder and less bright for the absence.

I cautiously counted to four hundred before I felt comfortable enough to use the chamber pot. After, I dressed quickly in the obi and kimono he had given me so many moths ago. I brushed my hair out carefully and took one last conceited look into the mirror before I donned my douchuugi, cloak and made my way to the shiro's main entrance. Just outside the gate burned an enormous bonfire.

I could see the four shadowy figures of my companions outlined by its crimson glow. _They even let Ah-Un out of the stables._ I smiled warmly at the thoughtfulness. Despite the barbs, complaints and abuses they really were a very close-knit group, _and I am still an outsider, unable to go home and not quite able to find an easy harmony with this new family of min. Rin loves me as much as I love her, Ah-Un is easy to understand and even Jaken has grown to respect me a little… Sesshomaru. Hot and cold in the blink of an eye, what do I have to do to make my peace with you?_

My bruises made my movement stiff and ginger as I walked to meet them, lost in my musings. Rin's cheerful voice cried out in greeting, and it pulled me back into the real world. I looked up expecting her to leap into my arms and I braced to catch her, but Sesshomaru laid a restraining hand on the girls shoulder before she could launch herself at me. Jaken gave me a silent nod, but tears shown in his eyes and I appreciated his uncharacteristic silence as I patted Ah and Un's heads in greeting. The silly beast gave me happy bunts in welcome as Rin tugged on my cloak to get my attention.

"Donella-sama! Rin is so, very, very glad you are all right! Rin made noodles to make you healthy for the New Year!" The girl enthusiastically offered me the brimming bowl of cold noodles. Despite their temperature, I devoured the food uncomplainingly as we all idly watched the horizon and the blazing fire.

Setting my bowl aside I smiled and said, "The noodles were delicious, Rin, and this blaze is truly enormous, who built it?"

"I did, Donella-sama, I hope it will be enough to keep Rin and yourself from becoming ill in this cold." I laughed merrily at Jaken's worried tone; the blaze was actually becoming uncomfortably hot. I removed my unnecessary outer garments and placed them carefully next to the discarded bowl, with a condescending look at his bewildered and vexed expression.

Favoring Jaken with a broad grin I said, "I swear, Jaken, the way you talk, I expect Rin and I to be so fragile the next strong wind will shatter us." I rested an affectionate hand on his shoulder, and continued to beam down at the cross look he bore, "I promise you, my friend, we are far tougher than we look." His angry scowl deepened into a low pout.

"I know that well, Donella-sama, it just…" The toad stumbled over his thought until he frowned crabbily and abruptly blurted, "Damn it, woman, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Stop incessant complaining at once or I will set you ablaze with my Nintoujo." I gave the cross little yokai another friendly squeeze before murmuring softly "**Yes, Jaken-sama," He harrumphed is reply but his shoulders relaxed under my hand.**

**Looking towards the slowly brightening east I said wistfully, "I wish just one of the watchtowers was still standing, we'd be able to get a truly spectacular view of the sunrise from the top of one."**

**"Silly, woman, why not just stand on top of the Shiro. It's taller than the watchtowers anyway." I returned Jaken's scoffing tone with my biggest smile I could manage.**

**"If I could figure out how to get up there, and stay up there, without breaking my neck on those icy tiles…" I gave him an emphatic nod, "You'd better believe I'd be curled right up next to the chimney."**

**"You led be to believe you were uncomfortable at great altitudes, ningen." Sesshomaru's unexpected remark made me look in his direction shrewdly.**

** "I adore heights, Sesshomaru-sama. What I objected to so adamantly was being thrown around a tree like a monkey's** plaything." I'm not_ Jane in a trashy Tarzan novel you over grown schipperke,_ I thought uncharitably as I pointedly turned from him to face the false dawn once more. **My indignant rejoinder must have struck a nerve. The next thing I knew, I was lifted roughly by the back of my obi, flung over a fur padded shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and launched into the early morning air. A yip of surprise escaped me as his shoulder pressed into my solar plexus. Second later we halted at the aforementioned pinnacle of the shiro's frozen roof and I was rudely **liberated from his shoulder to wobble precariously on the icy tiles. He watched me with an amused look in his eyes, as with my heart pounding, I finally managed to sit. Hugging my legs close, I looked down towards the east field and the blazing bonfire with its three tiny attendants.

The wind at that altitude was biting, causing my eyes to water and my body quiver uncontrollably. However, the view was even more stunning in the predawn light than I had anticipated. For a second I thought about my outer garments back at the fire, but only hugged my legs tighter and said through chattering teeth, "Arigato, Sesshomaru-sama," though my stuttering words made his name sound like a snake like jumble of S's. He gave a small chuckle as he lowered himself to my position. _If I ask him to take me back down to get my cloak, he probably won't want to bring me back up here._ I sighed and he took pity on me. That wonderful swatch of fur wrapped around my shoulders and around my body, swathing me in its fuzzy warmth. I was suddenly exceedingly grateful for his company.

Moments later my trembling subsided and the first rosy glow of dawn lightened the distance. "Arigato, Sesshomaru-sama, that is truly the most beautiful New Year's sunrise I have ever seen." I murmured softly. My heart nearly stopped and I went immediately rigid as the fur mantle constricted around me at my words, and pulled me into his side. He didn't look down as I felt his arm extend around me, and his clawed hand came to rest on my hipbone. The first coherent thoughts that made their way through the panicked, fluttering gibberish of my mind was, _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!! He's not wearing his armor, he's so warm; this is nice, I should stop this. _

Yet, before I could act on that last impulse my mamo was screaming in my mind, _Amadan girl! Let him be, enjoy this, or so help me I'ma disownin' ye, an' lettin' Uacteran waste every last breath of power we have yellin' at ye an muchadh is ba ort!_ Her words and uncharacteristic venom reached me. With a great deal of effort I forced my body to relax into his side and thought at her, _Fine I'll leave it be, but what dose he want now?_ I only received a barbed silence in response.

The suns rays were starting to light up the valley and I heard Rin laugh heartily as she and Jaken led Ah-Un back to the stables. Jaken's cross voice reverberated off the building, but, though his tone was harsh, his words were indiscernible to me as he addressed the girl briefly. Their conversation was soon muffled by their passage into the stables.

"My stratagem the other morning did not transpire the way I expected it too, Donella-san. I did not intend for you to be injured…" He paused and my heart again took up its prior fearful tattoo. I suddenly felt guilty for the uncharitable comments I had made in my room; _He's trying to apologize?_

The I kept my eyes carefully trained on the snow driven field before us, but bewilderment spurred me into speech, "Sesshomaru-sama, I must express my regret for outburst this morning. The truth is I have been shamefully remiss of my sword practice. The beings that reside in my bracelet warned me that if I did not learn the self-discipline of swordsmanship correctly, I could not hope to wield the power they wish to bestow upon me. The incident yesterday only goes to prove that point. I suffered injury due to my own clumsiness and irresponsible behavior and it was justly deserved for my negligence. I am, nevertheless, deeply sorry for any harm I may have caused you as well." I heaved a sigh as I finished my speech, hoping he would not continue the uncomfortable topic. Though, an apology was warranted, the very idea of his doing so distressed me unreasonably.

I felt his claws dig a little into my hip as his hand reflexively clenched against some deep agitation. I looked up to face his dour countenance, "Baka, ningen, I goaded you into a conflict you professed you did not desire, it was my intention to draw your power out and force you to use it against me to assuage my curiosity. The fault of your injury lies entirely with me." This is completely ridiculous! _Why do I feel guilty for making him feel guilty?_ We stared at each other for several moments as I contemplated his golden orbs with rapt fascination and a perverse sense of remorse.

_So that's what they mean when the poets talk about 'eyes you can get lost in', _I wanted to kiss him again and swallowed hard against the suicidal thought,_ I am doomed._ I turned away first, hooking my left arm around his back and giving his waist a gentle squeeze instead. I was surprised he allowed the contact, but remembering my mamo's threats I let it be. Closing my eyes against the dazzling brightness of the sun's rays on the pristine snow I said pragmatically, "Well then, Sesshomaru-sama, friends must often agree to disagree. I take comfort knowing that the event is in the past and need not be discussed again." I felt his hand relax against my hip and heard an inaudible sigh escape his lungs. _If I weren't right up next to him I never would have recognized that. Who knew he could do something so human as to sigh? _

_Does that mean he's relieved, happy, content perhaps?_ It was my turn to exhale, but my sigh was heavy and full of exasperation and self-recrimination. I didn't need my peanut gallery to curse me with drowning and smothering, I ordered myself to stop over thinking. "Do you wish to go back?" Sesshomaru's voice broke into my thoughts and I lazily turned to face his profile. _No, never, I want to stay up on this frozen roof cuddled up to you for eternity. God, I am a fool!_

I gave him a shrewd look before responding, "I have been considering the possibility, Sesshomaru-sama but I am hesitant to do so if I cannot manage to abandon this perch in a more dignified manner than I arrived."

"Hmm, that is indeed a substantial dilemma, Donella-san." He remarked smoothly.

I turned away and tried again, "Perhaps, if it would not over burden you, Sesshomaru-sama, you could aid me in that endeavor?"

"I require a few moments to consider it." He replied tersely but his fuzzy shroud wrapped more firmly around me, and while he studiously continued to watch the landscape, I saw a corner of his mouth twitch upward briefly.

_Is he teasing me? _The idea seemed ridiculous in my own mind and yet, I could not shake the distinct impression that I was being mocked. "As you wish, Sesshomaru-sama, but please be advised, I find this posture quite comfortable. If I remain in this position for much longer I may fall asleep again."

"You would not." He replied placidly, and this time when I turned to him with my eyebrow raised inquiringly, he met my gaze.

"Would I not? Please, enlighten me, Sesshomaru-sama, what is the basis for your conjecture?" My tone was light, but my eyes searched his for clues into his psyche. For just a moment, I thought I saw them cloud almost regretfully.

"You would not place yourself so completely at my mercy, nin… Donella-san." His stumbling, but matter of fact statement caused me to give him a considering look.

"Hmm, your opinion is," I gave him a small, taunting smile and mimicked his thoughtful pause, "interesting, Sesshomaru-sama."

He gave me a sharp look, "You deny it, ningen?" _Oh, back to name calling, I've struck a nerve._ I thought to no one in particular, but my unwanted audience remained pointedly silent and I felt a little reckless without their censure. _Well, the worst that could happen is he'll push me off the roof, let us poke the big, bag doggy a little bit more._ I smirked impishly.

"I merely said that I found your assertion to be intriguing. Though honestly, I find it does not warrant denial, nor agreement."

"Explain yourself." He commanded testily and his sharp diktat cautioned me to proceed with care.

"The instances I have been completely at your mercy since I came to this time are innumerable. So to say that I would not willingly place myself in that position is a fallacy. After all, I have slept soundly it hostile circumstances with you as my only protection before. If I do not say, 'here is my life, Sesshomaru-sama, I place it in your hands,' or swear my person to you and your cause, it is only because I wish to rely on my own strength and intelligence first. Not because I doubt your guardianship or munificence towards me." The familiarity of this topic vexed me, _The same conversation, over and over again what does he expect me to say? I have told him I trust him and his judgment, I have told him I do not feel threatened by his person and I know he will not intentionally injure me. What more could he possibly want me to say?_ I clenched my fists in aggravation and I knew my Mamo and Uacteran were both annoyed with me, but I could not fathom why, and they remained infuriatingly silent. _Damn his suspicious nature and damn you both for your smug, recriminating silence. If you have something to say, then say it and me done!_ I railed, but the silence persisted.

"I see." He replied, his voice once more as smooth and impenetrable as onyx glass.

My ill contained indignation transferred itself into restive energy, "Sesshomaru-sama, please may we return to the courtyard? I wish to practice my sword." I could not keep my agitation from lacing my comment with an acidic taint and I winced at my own boorish mien, but he ignored it.

"Donella-san, sing that song for me and then we shall go," My childishness melted a little into bemused frustration as I gave him a measuring, perplexed look. _How incredibly random! I've only sung a trillion songs in his company 'that song' could be any of them._

"Which song do you mean?" I replied uncertainly, again he graced me with that miniscule smirk that caused my internal organs to engage in autonomous acrobatics and all annoyance was fulminated from my system by the force of it.

"The song with the questionable lyrics, Donella-san," that startled me a little and I gave him and inquiring look, which he returned with blank impassiveness and dancing eyes. I gave him a slow, quizzical nod, but sang, 'Beautiful Disaster' anyway. When I had finished he wordlessly stood with his arm still around me, dragging me to my feet as he silently pulled me to him. With one graceful leap, I found myself gently transported to the earth once more.

Pressed against his body, with his arm still securely wrapped around my waist and looking up into his enigmatic face, it was easy to pretend the jump was what made my heart pound so frantically and the cold that made me tremble. _God, I really do want to kiss him!_ I thought idiotically.

_Best do it quick, lass, 'afore ye lose yer nerves, _I was startled by Donella's eager words of encouragement, but I was saved from any impulsive actions by his arm withdrawing and him taking swift step back. The disappointment of the lost opportunity annoyed and frustrated me groundlessly, even more so that I knew that mine was not the only displeasure I felt and my great grandparents made there own disapproval felt. _You know there are plenty of families that would discourage me from shamefully throwing myself into the arms of a foreign dog demon at the first available opportunity._ I thought crossly.

Before I could address Sesshomaru, however, I heard Rin's pounding feet and giggling approach, "Sesshomaru-sama! Donella-sama! Rin thought you would stay up there forever!" The child exuberance and obvious vexation made me smile conspiratorially at Sesshomaru before I turned to the scurrying child.

"What a fantastic idea, Rin-chan, I will just move to the rooftop and forgo such annoying tasks as telling stories to pesky little girls." My facetious words stopped her dead in her tracks. I watched her eyes widened in alarm and she dramatically threw both her hands over the O of surprise her mouth had developed. A small chuckle was emanated from the yokai at my back and her face took on a calculating look.

"Would Sesshomaru-sama take me to visit you on the roof?" She asked fixing her eyes on a point above my own face and to the right of my shoulder. I turned to see Sesshomaru give her a condescending glower.

"Absolutely not," He replied coolly and Rin gave a gasp of horror.

"Please, Donella-sama, don't do it! You promised you would never leave Rin again and I would cry so very much!" She threw herself at my side and wrapped her arms around me in a fierce hug. Looking down at her earnest features I gave a hearty bark of laughter.

"Alas, Hotaru, that roof is far too drafty to live on, so you are well and truly stuck with me." The girl giggled merrily and jumped awkwardly up at my face making a loud kissing noise before landing and racing to the Shiro steps.

"Donella-sama! Please come and play with me and my dolls! They are going to kill ogres!" She exclaimed deviously as she rubbed her hands together in eager anticipation of the mock battle, causing me to laugh again.

"Blood thirsty imp! You spend too much time with Jaken listening to trumped up war stories, I'll play…" I was not allowed to finish my stipulated assent as Sesshomaru's sharp voice cut through the conversation.

"Rin, you will have to play with Donella-san another day, she must accompany me on a short journey." Instead of becoming upset by his words the little girl broke down into helpless hilarity as Sesshomaru and I watched in silent confusion.

When her laughter finally ceased to reverberate from the surrounding walls Sesshomaru stepped towards the merry adolescent and demanded coolly, "Rin, what do you find so humorous?"

She gave him a serious look that belied her childish mien and tender years, "Nothing very much Sesshomaru-sama, but you called her, Donella-san!" She covered her mouth again and gave a short giggle, eye dancing. His face was hidden it shadow but I heard a slow exhalation of air escape Sesshomaru as if he were fighting to contain some deep emotion.

"Go pack that satchel of yours for a journey, ningen, I warn you, do not bring more than you must. Rin, go fetch Jaken." I gave him a rebellious look as the girl scampered off, and opened my mouth to voice my objection, but he interrupted again, "You say you are not suffering from a head injury, therefore you do not need to rest. You also made it quite clear you are not content to be left here and I will not have you departing in my absence. Also your control over that bauble is uncertain and you bear careful watch. I will brook no contest on this, ningen. Unless you wish to leave this place with only the cloths on your back, I suggest you do not waste your time arguing and busy yourself gathering your things." I gave him one last murderous glare and huffed into the shiro.

_What about Rin and Jaken, who will look after them if we are both gone? _I worried as I shoved a random kimono into my pack and proceeded to gather my medical supplies. _What if that witch and her mercenaries come, back, what if Masuyo tells his master we are here and comes hunting Sesshomaru again?_ I fretted and agonized all through my chore and finally Donella's clear voice cut into my chaotic fears, _Gah! Child, I am an old woman have some respect an' let me sleep! The frog and the lass will be fine without ye ta mollycoddle them, they did it before ye arrived an' they'll do fine anon. Now pack! Yer stocach's_ _waitin' and he's nay a patient hound._

_He's not my stocach!_ I growled as I continued to bang about my task, violently burning off my frustration on the draws and cupboards of my room before placing my wakizashi securely in my obi and retrieving my douchuugi and cloak from were Jaken had placed them. Still muttering dire threats against all yokai kind, I threw the garments on haphazardly as I stomped down the hall and back out into the noon sun and with my backpack.

He was still standing where I had left him, unmoving as the grave while Jaken busily scrambled about his person securing the ties to his armor. Even though he had made it clear I was to back quickly my prompted return seen to insight him to anger. He directed it at the kappa, "Jaken," his voice carried an avalanche's cold inescapable death, "Do you not understand the speed intimated in the word quickly, or are you just incapable of producing it?" The poor toad squeaked fearfully and increased his frantic pace while trying to babble apologize and excuses. I winced for him, but remained studiously silent as he finished his task and scampered to a groveling position at his lord's feet, still muttering his obsequious apologies.

I can only say that it was prolonged exposure to the toad, because though he now treated me with a measure of deference, his real nature had not change over much in the near two years since our meeting. However, when Sesshomaru gave him a forceful kick I could not keep my heart from going out to the pathetic little kappa, nor the furious glare I directed at his master as I clenched my fists at my side.

Still, when I spoke my voice lacked the recrimination in my glower. In fact, it was as cold and dead as Sesshomaru's, "You led me to believe you were in a hurry to depart and yet now you are wasting time with this unwarranted persecution of Jaken. Please make up your mind soon, the passage of time may mean nothing to you, but it is quite precious to one such as I." I admit I was being obnoxious in order to draw his attention away from the poor, cowering toad under his foot. Nevertheless, even bullies like Jaken deserve a break, and I was fairly sure Sesshomaru wasn't going to kick me.

Instead the silent fiend carefully lifted his boot from Jaken's head, turned in the most pompous manner possible, and marched towards the open gate with an imperial air. _Well la de da! _I thought irreverently. Feeling like a naughty schoolgirl, I rolled my eyes at his back and helped the whimpering mass of sycophantic kappa goop from the ground. "Woman, I do not need you're help! Baka! You should hurry to catch up to Sesshomaru-dono. Don't you dare keep him waiting! Why he wants such a meddlesome pest as yourself to accompany him instead of me…" I tuned out his idiotic ranting as I gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze and murmured, "Take care of Rin and yourself, Jaken, I'm sure whatever this is it won't take long," before I followed the asocial yokai lord out the gate. _God, please make this a very short trip._

_**Author's Notes:**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reads with or without reviews you all rock! I hope this chapter, though a bit rushed stands up to my previous work!**_

_**And to the reviewers, who remind me not to stop no matter what:**_

_Tootsipop254:** The awesomeness continues have fun feeding everybody Seymour!**_

_Tsubasa Kya:_ **_Thank you for the well wishes and I am glad I could surprise you!_**

_Mmoirai: **Wow 15 reviews in one day on two sites!!! I feel so loved. Thanks so much!!!**_

_Arvael, The Painted Lady_, _Suki dah Turdle, Phoenix Nephthys, Heavenly Tempest,_ _Moonprincess, Sueariel, InuDstories, firefarire93, FulleLover, Inusbabe, JamminChick93613:_ **_Thanks so much for the Mad Love! I will most definitely give you all better responses this weekend when I reply to my reviews but I wanted to rush 15 out while I had time!_**


	16. A Tail for You

**Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. All of them are used here without permission… if you made it through all the other chapters then you know who, what belongs to, if you just popped onto this chapter randomly, read backwards. **

**The Botanist and the Beast**

Chapter 16: A Tail for You

_Dear Alice,_

_I shall explain it one last time: Five nights are five times warmer than one night and they are also five times as cold, by the same rule. Just as I'm five times as rich as you are, AND five times as clever! It is a poor sort of memory that only works backwards._

_-The Queen of Hearts_

The first day was awkward as initially all my inquires about our destination and itinerary were met with stoic silence. So I gave up and our time traveling that day was therefore spent without another word between us. We stopped for the night in a cave, and he left me for several minutes as I prepared a fire and a small meal of herbed rice and dried mushrooms. When he returned he said nothing, merely laid a dead rabbit he place near the fire.

"What are you going to do with that?" I asked, looking from the rabbit to him speculatively.

"Baka, ningen, it is for you to eat." He replied exasperatedly.

"Uh, Thank you, I think, the meat is appreciated but my rice is adequate. There was no need for you to inconvenience yourself for my sake." I mumbled, avoiding his eyes to mask my confusion.

"You will need the nourishment meat provides to continue on this journey, ningen, the cold will sap your energy quickly. I will not have you become a burden by consuming only rice." I considered asking him to explain, but his refusal to discuss the journey thus far halted me. I only nodded as I focused on preparing my meal and I felt him move away to watch me from a corner of the cave. Hesitantly I took the gift and began to prepare it for cooking.

The oppressive silence continued as I ate, cleaned, repacked and settled down next to the fire to sleep. The cold quickly seeped through the layers of cloths, douchuugi, cloak and blanket making it hard to find sleep. Exhaustion and preoccupation with my own discomfort distracted me so thoroughly that I did not notice Sesshomaru had moved until I felt the familiar furry mantle wrap around my body and I was enveloped in warmth.

I turned to his crouched form to thank him, but the inscrutable look wore stopped me, "What's wrong, Sesshomaru-sama?" I asked instead, scrambling quickly to a sitting position.

"Baka, ningen it is nothing, sleep or you will be useless tomorrow." His rude retort annoyed me, but not wanting to lose the warmth of the fur I only frowned before settling back down to rest.

The next two days followed the same pattern of silent trudging through the snow, dinner of rice and meat followed by fur shrouded sleep. I had offered a story or a song the second evening, but it was rebuked, "Leave me in peace, ningen, and go to sleep." By day four it was obvious his attitude was deteriorating even more and though he was even less communicative than ever, his every gesture and stance radiated a dangerous aura of annoyance and short tempered wrath.

**Travel had become arduous due to the ever deepening snow and freezing winds we encountered in the ever increasing altitudes. Several times I wanted to ask Sesshomaru why we were walking, but prudence kept me mute. Instead I endured in silence and prayed that my numb limbs would continue moving sluggishly forward. I also hoped that it was the weather conditions and not some disrespect of mine that had darkened Sesshomaru's mood. If it was my attitude, there would be no one to carry me when I collapsed.**

That night when he returned with a small rabbit I confronted Sesshomaru on his behavior as I arranged my meal. "If we are to continue traveling like this for much longer Sesshomaru-sama, would you please, grant me the courtesy to know what it is I have done to put you in such a foul mood?"

"Baka, ningen, you have done nothing wrong." He growled dismissively.

I sighed, _Time to face the lion in its den_, I moved to his side and placed my hand on his, the action caused him to glare at me. "Then please, tell my why you are so cross." I begged gently.

_Obviously it's because he hasna slept a wink in five days lass._ Sitting only inches away from his face it was evident from the rings under his eyes and his slumping posture Uacteran was more observant than me, he was clearly exhausted.

"It is none of your concern, ningen. This Sesshomaru does not need you…" But I interrupted his vexed diatribe.

I tightened my grip on his hand, "Sesshomaru-sama, just tell me why you have not been sleeping and I swear I will never broach the subject again." I pleaded.

"Yokai do not require the constant amount of rest you weak Jinrui do." He scoffed.

His off handed manner annoyed me, "I understand that, Sesshomaru-sama, but it is obvious you need at least some sleep, and I wish to know why you have allowed yourself to come to such a disgraceful state." With an angry roar he raised his arm forcefully flinging me back against a nearby wall as he stood.

"I told you it is none of your concern, ningen; do not presume to meddle in my affairs." He growled as he towered over my prone form and my heart tried to retreat from my trembling chest in an effort to save itself.

Yet, while I attribute with many good virtues to myself, restraint is not one of them, and his behavior had made me angry. My voice dripped contempt and an icy indifference I didn't feel, "Honestly, this is getting old I would rather jump naked into the nearest lake that meddle in your affairs. But when you drag me out into the middle of the frozen wilderness and then endanger my life by being an egocentric dumb-ass, you really leave me with no other choice! Now, are you going to tell me or am I going to have to find that lake, because I am more likely to survive hypothermia than your brainless antics."

I had made it to my knees during the rebuke and my fear was subsiding as I rocked back onto my feet; standing, I defiantly glaring into his irate, red-rimmed eyes. After several tense minutes his hand went to rest on his furry stole, "My**bibu is a part of me, I cannot sleep without it." **

**_Bibu… Bibu…_ The word eluded me for a moment; my eyes widened in shock when the meaning finally came, _Jesus H. Christ, all this time I've been cuddling up to an Inu-Daiyoukai's tail!_ The revelation was startling, a bit disconcerting and drained the last of my aggravation. "Oh" I answered slowly unable to find a reasonable retort to his bewildering admission; I let my eyes drop. Slowly I moved back to the fire and resumed my work on the rabbit nervously.**

**Sesshomaru eventually returned to his seat and the silence dragged as I ate my meal and cleaned up. Thoughtfully I repacked by dinner things and pulled my blanket from the pack. He watched intently as I banked the fire and settled in on his left side. His expression was unreadable, but I did my best to ignore it and the pounding of my own heart as I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to claim me. "Ningen, this is not an appropriate position for you to rest in." I heaved a heavy sigh and opened my eyes to glare up at him.**

**"First and for mostly, it is painfully obvious that it is too cold for me to sleep directly on the earth, otherwise you would not have allowed me the use of your…" I hesitated with the word still finding it hard to come to grips with the idea I had been cuddling an actual physical part of his person this whole time a blush crept un bitted into my cheeks as I pressed on, "…bibu in the first place. Secondly I have told you before, I find this position quite comfortable, and thirdly I do not wish to relive my brief occupation as your nursemaid. To that end I would appreciate it if you held off on objecting to this arrangement until the morning when you have had some rest and appear less like death warmed over." Looking into his haggard, displeased gaze I hesitated for a moment before adding beseechingly, "Please, Sesshomaru-sama." He turned from me with a wordless grunt, but I felt the familiar weight of fur as I was enveloped and pulled towards him. Warm and safe, I fell asleep content that I had won, for the moment. **

**The next morning I woke with the pattern of his armor imprinted on my face and a stiff neck from sleeping on the unyielding surface. _That's what I get for arguing with him, _I thought contritely as I my companion stirred next to me. I quickly pulled away from the intimate pose, but my downy covering was slow to release me as his stunning yellow eyes opened and gazed down at me with considering scrutiny.**

**"Your rest has not improved you appearance, Donella-san." His remark was rude but it was the first time he had used my name in six days and the sudden effect banished my aches.**

**"Funny I was just going to comment on the vast improvement sleep had made on your own appearance, but since the enhancement has not extended to your boorish mien the compliment seems unjustified in retrospect." I know my words were only a mask to cover my discomfort, but the combination of my name from his lips and his physical closeness were causing me to reconsider kissing him again and I was desperate to derail that hazard bound train. **

**My peanut gallery wasn't helping either, _Aye lass tell him ye'd wake up pretty as ye please if'n he'd sleep without the armor, _A barking chuckle followed and I realized where Uacteran was going a second be fore he said it,_ or the cloths fer that matter._ **

**I pushed roughly away from Sesshomaru and stood as I grumbled back at Uacteran, "I need neither sarcastic repartee nor vulgar suggestions this early in the morning, **seanathair, I would thank you to be silent." It was Sesshomaru who answered, however, as I realized I had uttered my rebuke aloud.

**"I believe speaking to yourself is considered abnormal behavior even by **Jinrui standards, ningen."

Leaning down to retrieve my blanket I paused in picking it up and allowed my eyes to meet his. "So it is, but so too is traveling back in time through a whole in the ground, befriending hostile yokai and having the souls of your dead relatives inhabit your jewelry. Therefore, by human standards I am already damned; muttering to myself is inconsequential by comparison." I was careful to avoid touching his fur as I picked my blanket up and began to fold and repack it neatly. For some reason the revelation that the furry mass was a part of him made me even more sensitive to the idea that touching it was a trespass on his person.

"You need to bathe, ningen." Like most of his bald statements, this one did not have the air of an insult, just a clinical statement of fact, but it cut me.

"I apologize if my trekking through the snow for five days without a change of cloths or a chance to bathe has finally offended your delicate nose! It's a shame that I find the smell of wet dog so enticing, otherwise I would understand your suffering." I remarked drolly, sarcasm dripping from my voice. I pulled a small jar of nuts from my pack and strapped the satchel securely to my back.

"That is indeed a blessing for you, ningen." He remarked coolly as he left the cave to begin our day's hike. _Great, he's pissed; this is going to be a very long day._ I thought as I hurriedly doused the fire and followed him into the white expanse while munching on my meager breakfast. He set a steady and difficult pace for me. The snow had become deeper in the night and the wind was a brutal and fierce adversary, threatening to blow me from the stark landscape. The fight against the two elements and my struggle to maintain his pace was exhausting. My day passed in a fog of anesthetized, dogged movement.

It was nearing sunset when, panicking I realized the white blur of Sesshomaru's immaculate cloths against the matching snow was no longer in front of me. Relief flooded my frozen brain when I heard his voice call out from behind. "Ningen, where are you going? There is a storm approaching and you have passed the shelter." I turned on numb feet to find him standing, rather impatiently, back the way I had come. I was too numb to be irritated, or mount an argument, I just sluggishly moved back towards the sound of his voice.

Moments later I was at his side as he preceded me into the cave. Warm, steaming air hit me and the sudden change in climate was a shock to my frozen system. I collapsed in a dizzy slump within only a few feet of the entrance. I labored weekly with irresponsive fingers and resistant vinyl to take my backpack off, but quickly gave up and just sat there, eyes closed, soaking up the warmth and praying I'd never have to move again.

A derisive snort alerted me to Sesshomaru's presence and I slowly opened my heavy lids to look to him. He was still only a few feet ahead of me and I realized he must have turned when I collapsed and had seen my comical tussle with my pack. "I suppose you find this amusing." I tried to sound sarcastic, but the sore, rasping, whisper that escaped my throat was almost unrecognizable to me.

He turned back and knelt at my side. Face to face I could see that he was obviously still annoyed, _Geeze, crack one wet dog joke and suffer for the rest of your life!_ He reached for my pack and after several failed attempts he managed to open the clasps that shortened the arm straps and relieve me of most of my burden and I reached for the buckle at my hip. When the bag finally fell onto the packed, earthen floor with a soggy thud he said, "This will not do, ningen."

I looked up from my now free waist to his disapproving glare, "I suppose you want me to apologize?" My voice was getting stronger, but the damp heat was giving me a serious case of the sniffles and I couldn't muster the indignant air I was hoping for.

"I do not understand you, ningen, most Jinrui I have encountered are obsessed with their own needs and comfort and yet you insistently cause yourself discomfort, injure and put your life in peril when I am not available to aid you. How am I to keep my word to Rin to safeguard when you seem determined to destroy yourself?"

I was too tired to start a fight with him and not waiting for a reply, he started tugging at the laces of my boots. Fearing for the livelihood of the fragile bonds against his sharp claws I batted at him as I dove forward with trembling hands to release the knots myself. Yet the thick gloves I wore encumbered my progress, "Here let me get those, if you ruin my laced I won't have anything to wear on my feet," but, while I numbly tugged at my gloves he went for the ties again.

"I am quite accustomed to this sort of fastening, I assure you I can manage a few strings," Using the tips of his claws to loosen them enough to fit his fingers through the laces, he efficiently pull the knots lose without running the razor edges of his claws against the fraying cords. I was surprised at how delicately he handled the knots, especially since he was so obviously annoyed. My fascination at the gentle work was soon interrupted however, when with a rough jerk, he pulled the first boot free using enough force to knock me backward onto my discarded pack and invoke a yelp of protest.

"Sesshomaru-sama, please, I am not an invalid or a doll, as soon as I warm up a bit more I will be perfectly capable of removing my own shoes. This abuse is uncalled for." He ignored me, opting to strike at the remaining shoe in silence as I mounted protests to the undignified behavior and toiled, unsuccessfully, to convince my frozen limbs to evade him.

My remonstrations were cut short when he removed the first, damp, half-frozen sock from my foot and the blue appendage was struck full force with the heated air of the cave. I cried out in pain as my foot seemed to catch fire and the muscles cramped painfully. Not waiting for me to recover, he brutally ripped the other sock free. Helpless tears of pain and stifled whimpers escaped me as he began to vigorously chafe the damaged limbs with his long fingers.

After several, excruciating minutes my torturer released me, "It does not appear that you have caused any permanent damage to your feet, ningen, show me your hands." Still numb from pain and shock I obediently held them out for inspection. He took each in turn and scrutinized them intently before giving a short nod and standing. "The storm will be upon us soon, I shall attempt to find you sustenance and fuel before then. While I am away you will bathe and change out of those soggy garments."

His haughty command irritated me, "Now see here mister high and mighty Inu-…" I started, but he had already vanished and I was left yelling at aloof, echoing stone.

Looking around the cave I realized that Sesshomaru's lithe figure had been hiding an underground hot spring from view. To my left, dryer air entered the chamber from another low tunnel. _This must be a series of caves; I wonder how far back they go._

Slowly venturing forward in my bare feet, I realized the stones beneath me were also warm. _This cave must be above a lava tube._ I mused, searching my memory for the name and location of Japan's active volcanoes before I realized that my information was four hundred years away from being useful. _I suppose several volcanoes on the main island have gone dormant since the Sengoku period. I wonder if Sesshomaru knows anything about cartography, do they even have maps yet? I wish I could find a way to figure out where I am. _ I continued to speculate for a while longer, but my knowledge of Japanese history and development was miniscule and could not provide me with any usable answers so I abandoned the endeavor.

Deciding there was no help for it, and wanting a bath more than I wanted to defy the pompous yokai, I quickly stripped and lowered myself into the steaming water. The warmth after so many days of being cold and dirty was intoxicating. _Modesty be damned I never wanted to leave this blessed pool ever again_! I went through the motions of scrubbing, washing, and rinsing the last five days from my body while arguing with my incorporeal family members, who were apparently alerted to my good humor and felt the need to crush it.

_Ack, gal, ye should thank that pup of yers fer letin' ye get close ta him last night smellin' the way ye do! The whelp is either in love or his nose is completely useless._

"The pup isn't mine and he's not in love." I groused as I scrubbed my arm more vigorously.

_Then why'd he let yer stinkin' carcass curl up next ta him last night? _Uacteran asked smugly.

"Because he was exhausted and I was pushy." I replied gruffly focusing my vigorous ministrations to my grimy hair.

_Believe what ye like, lass, my mate has the right o' it an' denyin' the truth is only hard on ye._ Donella chimed in.

"You two are really putting a damper on the only nice event of this miserable, Japanese mountain tour. He despises most humans and it's taken almost two years for us to establish even a rocky friendship. There is no possible way that, even in the vaguest stretch of the imagination, this could ever be more than that." I sighed as I dove bellow the tepid water to rinse.

_Ye wanna make it morn' than that, lass, and all we want is fer ye to be happy, _my mamo mollified.

_Well, an' fer ya ta finish absorbin' our energy so we can finally move on ta Tir-na-n-Og. T'aint no picnic fer us sittin' in this make-believe field an' watchin' the outside world got ta hell while ye muddle on through it._ Uacteran griped as I surfaced and took a deep gasp of the humid air.

"And, exactly what do you want me to do to speed that along?" I asked piqued by his accusing tone, but again the mollifying voice of my mamo answered.

_We only want ye ta practice while ye have this break, garinion._

I sighed heavily as I propped myself on the edge of the pool and let the soothing water melt the tension form my muscles, "Mamo, tonight? I'm exhausted." I protested wearily but already giving in to their demands.

_Nay lass, tomorrow will do. That storm outside is gonna be a fierce one and ye'll be stuck in these caves fer the next three days at the least._

_Plenty 'O time fer yer leisciuil thoin ta practice, me gal,_ Uacteran added rudely.

"My Lazy ass has been pretty busy getting beaten up by annoying yokai and hiking through snow covered mountain ranges in January, you jackass." I groused as I angrily pulled myself from the water and toweled off. "Not that you have been any help, pushing people around with my mind, seeing into the past, erecting barriers and blowing things up are all pretty nice tricks, but I wish one of them could keep me a little warmer out there." I pulled my spare kimono from my pack and began to dress hurriedly, "I would really like to know why we are mountain-goating around here in the first place; it doesn't really make a lot off sense."

"If I use any other mode of travel, ningen, then my quarry would be alerted to my presence and know that I yet live." Sesshomaru's icy voice made me jump as I fumbled with my obi. _Damn it! How long has he been back? Why didn't I feel his aura, how the hell did he sneak up on me?_

_He's been there a wee bit lass, long enough ta see ye change fer sure. An' ye dinna seriously believe he canna control his anam do ye? He'd be a poor madra indeed if'n he couldna cover himself enough ta hunt._ The awkward thought of him watching me dress, and my mamo's condescending tone made me blush as I turned to face the devious Inu-Daiyoukai.

"We are out here looking for Byakuya then?" I asked, frantically straitening my kimono in order to buy time as I calmed my nerves. _What the hell! Creepy, peeping stalker! Yokai or human, all men really are the same!_ I thought irately.

"Byakuya is an inconsequential distraction. I am, as always, pursuing Naraku's heart." I was grateful that his tone was as cool and distant as ever, I found the normalcy of it soothing. _If he can act normal so can I. Geeze what is the yokai protocol on nudity anyway?_

_Now there's an interstin' thought lass. Strip down an' find out! _Uacteran urged with an evil snicker.

_Go back to sleep!_ I thought at him, furiously as I turned my attention once more to the peeping yokai. He was holding an armload of fire wood and wore a distracted speculative look. His disquiet air set me on edge, "What is it now?" I demanded peevishly.

"Bring your possessions this way, ningen." He remarked as he moved towards the adjacent tunnel without answering the question. With a frustrated noise, I grabbed my discarded gear and rushed to follow.

The tunnel led to a cooler, less expansive grotto. A serious of large, earthen jars occupied one corner and a small underground stream dominated much of the remaining space. Sesshomaru laid his burden near the water's edge before wordlessly moving to the only uncluttered corner of the small confinement and sitting. Taking this as my cue to start a fire and prepare a meal, I set my gear near him and moved towards the brook.

For the next several minutes the only sound that could be heard was that of digging scrapping and the breaking of kindling as I settled into the familiar routine of and reveled in the peace. Not for the first time I found myself thinking about how, in such a short time, I had become so accustomed to the aloof yokai's presence to the point that I found his stoic silence soothing, familiar and incongruously comforting. _When he's around I feel…_I struggled distractedly to break particularly tough branch as I tried to pin the feeling down in my mind._ Protected, warm, satisfied, happy…_The branch finally snapped and I muttered audibly, "safe."

"What is safe, ningen?" I blinked at him dumbly for a moment, and realized I must have spoken the last part of my thought out loud; a slow blush crept into my cheeks.

"I apologize, Sesshomaru-sama, it is nothing; a stray thought spoken aloud and of no consequence." I muttered sheepishly as I went to my pack and removed the flint and steel.

"Indeed." He commented shortly and lapsed back into silence, but as I returned to my work my mamo interjected.

_Darlin', forgive yer old mamo fer lyin' ta ya but I wanna ye ta try somethin' instead O' yer flint._

The excitement in her tone made me pause, _What do you want me to do?_ I asked apprehensively expecting it to be another lewd and outrageous suggestion involving my companion, but I was wrong.

_I want ye ta start yer fire like ye blew up the mock-up th'other day._ Thinking about that incident sent a small shiver down my spine and deposit a nervous flutter in the pit of my stomach.

_Mamo, I'm too tired for that today and I'd rather not try something like that in this closed space, a_nd more to myself than her I added, _I don't want to hurt anyone._

A soothing, comforting warmth flooded through me, _Hush, dear heart, ye won't use near that kinda power this time. Just close yer eyes an' hold out yer hand ta the fire. _I felt my body comply, my eyes drooped shut automatically and her presences in my mind became stronger. _Now, think o' yer tine lass, think o' your kindlin' an' a small spark startin' in its heart. Think o' that tiny spark getting' hotter, an' hotter; burnin' hot an' hungry ta devour the wood ye gave it._ As she spoke her hypnotic voice carried me through the disconcerting feeling of heat spreading through my outstretched hand and pooling in my palm. As she finished talking the vivid image that had formed in my mind burst and my eyes flew open to greet the warmth of the now crackling fire before me. _Well done, garinion, remember that all o' the things yer learnin' ta do are just a way ta control the elements: tine, uisce, speir, talamh, an' anam. If'n ye remember that an' let the power flow in ta what ye want; even ye canna foul it up._

"An impressive trick, ningen." Sesshomaru's voice pulled me roughly from Donella's trance. I experienced a short period of disorientation as a wave of dizziness passed over me causing me to grab the cave wall for support. Gratefully it passed quickly and I managed a week reply.

"A bit wasteful considering that my flint and steel would have done the job without making me tired." He remained thoughtfully silent. I gave him a wan smile as I returned to my pack and exchanged my unused flint and steel for my pot and some rice.

I gave the stream a considering look and he answered my unvoiced question, "The water is safe for you to drink, ningen."

"Thank you." I replied with a sheepish smile before filling my pan and returning to my meal preparations. Sesshomaru continued to eye me strangely as I stirred the rice and some herbs into the boiling water. I, in turn, desperately tried not to speculate why the devious yokai had felt the need to sneak up on me while I was bathing. The certain knowledge of the many vulgar suggestions my unwelcome family members would have on the subject helped a great deal in quickly derailing that train of thought, but the trepidation remained.

When I'd settled in to eat my meager repast Sesshomaru finally stood and began to fumble with the ties of his armor. Bewildered by this strange new turn of events, I felt a blush creep into my cheeks as I simultaneously tried to avoid gawk at the undressing yokai and find my meal mesmerizing. Unfortunately rice and rabbit stew has very little fascination value when compared to toned, ethereal magnificence. I had to physically turn my body, until he was no longer in my direct line of sight, in order to keep the food I was mindlessly shoveling from falling out of my gaping mouth. _God help me this is so unfair!_

I finished my meal about the time I heard stylized metal and leather contraption clatter to the floor. The noise made me jump and scramble to face him, "What the hell!" I grumbled as I moved, but I by the time I'd faced him, he was gone.

Unsure as to what his aberrant behavior signaled, I desperately tried to find more productive thoughts than those of the bizarre yokai and his inscrutable behavior, his mind numbing physical presence or my growing inability get my hormones under control. I forcefully set about washing my dishes and removing the last five days of travel from my kimono with a mania born of frustration. _Why does he have to be so damned… interesting, pretty, intriguing…_I thought of a few more adjectives to stave off the provocative mental images that flooded my mind as I viscously beat my kimono into a soapy mess on the riverbank before thrashing it violently into the water.

My taciturn companion had still not returned by the time I had finished, so I settled in by the fire to update my journal. I gave into exhaustion with less than a page written and sometime later I woke to find the fire nothing but embers and someone physically attempting to lift me. Incongruously, the antagonist didn't cause any sirens to go off in my foggy mind. I sleepily struggled against the looming form and strong arm that grasped me. I quickly came to my senses enough to identify the season turning smell I associate with late autumn mingled with the equally familiar aroma of crushed pine needles.

Recognition of his familiar scent, and his nearness caused me rush, panicked and wide-eyed into full consciousness. "Sesshomaru, what's wrong?" The alarm was evident in my voice as I sat bolt up right in his grasp and tried to focus on the dimly illuminated outline of his face. My gaze was immediately drawn to his golden eyes, which seemed to reflect the fire's dying light and give my racing heart yet one more reason to maintain its frenzied tempo. _Anytime I find myself forgetting he isn't human, those eyes will remind me._

His arm fell away from where it supported my back his trifling withdrawal caused a few strands of his hair to brush my exposed arm. _His hair is damp, but he's too warm to have been outside,_ I mused as I arranged myself in a more conversational position. _Ach, lass the boy took yer barb this mornin' hard and ran off ta bathe._ Uacteran provided wearily.

_Hush you, I figured that out on my own._

He chuckled, _Aye well now ye canna make those daydreams o' yer's more interestin'. After all, the lad was only in the hot spring yonder naked an'…_He was saved my scathing response as Sesshomaru's icy, angry voice interrupted the nonverbal dialogue.

"Do not address me so casually, ningen." His rebuke and my unconscious blushing over Uacteran's words angered me, _The freaking nerve of this guy! First he wakes me up and then he's pissy because I dropped the honorific from his name and now I can't stop trying to picture him naked! Why couldn't they let me sleep through this? _I gave him and virulent glare before turning to the fire and slowly beginning the task of reviving it.

"I apologize, Sesshomaru-_sama_, but your bizarre conduct made me concerned that there was some danger, I spoke without thinking." My tone was spiteful and I stressed the honorific vindictively, but I was in no mood to be diplomatic.

"Again your voice betrays the insincerity of your words, ningen." He countered reproachfully. I continued to ignore him as I fed the rekindled flame and prayed he would accept my silence. My karma wasn't that good. He allowed a few, peace-filled moments to pass before he grasped my chin firmly and viciously forced me to face him. "I have been very tolerant of your mistakes and impertinence in the past, ningen, but you will apologize for your disrespect." His still damp hair reflected the orange glow of the fire as it threw dancing shadows across his face in a macabre and incongruously malevolent pattern.

I suppose, one of these days I will learn to back down when facing a tremendously superior force, but that day has not yet arrived, "Would you have me shed tears for your injured pride? Morn the damage caused to your conceit? Tell me Oh Great Sesshomaru-sama, what penance should I pay for assaulting your precious vanity?" I let the sarcasm and contempt drip from my voice like acid rain as I met his fiery glare with an unwavering intensity born in the heat of my own injured pride and hurt feelings. _God damn it all! I thought we'd made more progress! It's been_ t_wo year! Two years and we always circle back to our original roles, him being the lord of the castle and I nothing more than a cockroach scuttling along his clean floor._

An eerie silence filled the cave in the wake of my angry words. I could hear the frightened hitch of my own inhalation as his grip on my chin tightened and he pulled my face ruthlessly forward. Warm breath caressed my ear as he leaned towards me and whispered, "I would have you beg my forgiveness, ningen," He sniffed and I had to fight hard to suppress the giddy shiver that threatened to break free as that liquid baritone continued to rumble in my ear, "However, that may be expecting to much from such an uncouth creature. I suppose I should content myself with the knowledge that you can at least follow a simple directive. Your odor is reasonably tolerable now."

I snorted derisively and his fingers loosened on my chin. Using the moment I wrenched my head until we were again eye to eye and a cynical smile spread across my lips, "You once told me false modesty and respect would win me no favors with you, and yet you often take me to task over my disingenuous civility. I'll tell you now, if you wish me to say, 'please, Sesshomaru-sama, I have transgressed. I beg you to forgive this unworthy ningen,' then I will say the words, but it would take more than two of your lifetimes to make me say them and be earnest in my plea. Frankly, I cannot turn around without scraping that enormously inflated ego you have; so if I let a little air out now and again then it may become that much easier to tiptoe around you! Furthermore, I am not your minion to be ordered about. I bathe when the opportunity presents itself so that **_I_** am comfortable, not because it offends your delicate nose." His reaction to my verbal battery was startling. His hand instantly relaxed its hold on my face, a small smile curved his lips and a roguish glint lit his eyes.

My words, my indignation, my very thought process died as my stomach flipped and I was caught in the glory of his countenance like a deer in the headlights of a hunter's truck. _Wow;_ the only word that filled the echoing void of my dumbstruck mind as a chill trembled up my spine. "You must truly be exhausted, Donella-san, if that is all the venom you can muster against me."

I laughed at this sudden change in our old game, _So maybe not an insect and maybe not his castle. However, I doubt I'm Cinderella, and though he is a handsome prince, he is less than charming. _I returned his miniscule smile with a genuine and broad grin. "I doubt a toxin I could produce in any quantity would be in the least bit effective against you, Sesshomaru-sama. I am convinced that, unlike many others who have fallen to my vituperative wit, you are immune."

"Indeed, Donella-san, yet your feeble attempts to scold are often amusing and your expression when you are angry is," I frowned at his pause and the gentle way his fingers slid from my face as he consulted his mental lexicon, "intriguing." Suddenly the look in his eyes, the smile on his lips; his very proximity to me was more than I could handle. Abruptly I stood and went in search of my blanket. The fire projected a fascinating silhouette of his impassive form onto the cave wall before me. As I rummaged I addressed that dancing shadow.

. "Geeze, you can be seriously bizarre some times. One second you're a supercilious, pretentious jackass and the next you can be more charming than Don Juan Demarco! For the most part, there is just no way for me to gage when you're being serious and when you are just playing with me." I gave a short laugh in an effort to lighten the intensity of the moment and alleviate some of the pressure caused by my pounding heart and raging hormones, "Your moods are too haphazard it's no wonder Jaken is such a wreck." I didn't look at him as I moved to the only unoccupied corner of the cave and settled down to sleep. _At least this place is warm enough that I won't need to cuddle him to stay warm._ The thought should have been heartening, but it left me feeling a bit melancholy as curled up and closed my eyes. For several minutes after I'd uttered my sarcastic rebuke Sesshomaru remain silent and unmoving.

I was almost asleep when I heard the rustle of his cloths as he came towards me. Warily I cracked my eyes open as he claimed a spot against the wall to my right. I moved left to give him some space, but as I did so his tail wrapped around me, impeding my movement and pulling me back the way I had come. I made a frustrated noise and opened my mouth to remonstrate the manhandling, but he beat me to the punch.

The sub-zero, perturbation in his voice was something I had heard many times before, directed at Rin and Jaken during one of their protracted squabbles. Yet, this was the first time it was leveled at me, "Donella-san, save you arguments against this arrangement for a time when you have had more rest. There is no other place for me to recline," The truth to that statement was obvious, but when his arm wrapped around my waist and I found myself pressed into his side.

Again, I began to mount an objection, but the incongruously pained look that met my affronted scowl stopped me. It lasted only a moment before his icy mask slid back into place, but it was enough to completely dissipate my hostility. In all honesty, the effect that momentary glimpse of despondency had on my physiology was so profound, that I could not bring myself to voice even an unreasonable complaint. Instead I only nodded mutely and let my head rest on his silk clad chest.

Once in that position; my body pressed against his side, the silk of his shirt on my face, the warmth of his tail wrapped around me and his steady breathing in my ear, I never wanted to move again. Yet, feeling I could not let him win so easily, I twisted in his grip, leaned up and gently whispered, "Arigato, Sesshomaru-sama, but your scent never resembled a wet dog, **Ashikarazu,**" into his ear.

He gave me an inscrutable sidelong look and I felt his hand tighten on my hip, "Spiteful creature. Go to sleep." I smiled a happily as I wiggled back into a comfortable position. It took me a long time to fall asleep like that, but as my over worked brain and frantic hormones finally allowed me to drift off, I think one word echoed contentedly in my mind, _Safe._

**A/N: I swear I'll write you all back as soon as I can!**

**Some vocabulary:**

**_Japanese_**

**_Bibu _isn't the correct word for Sesshomaru's tail, though it means the caudal end of an animal. The correct word is Shippo which means "animal's tail" and also "silver" but I thought that might be confusing to Inuyasha fans…**

**_Arigato_**: Thank you

**_Ashikarazu_: _Formal_ "I am sorry"**

**_Jinrui:_** humans as a species

**_Baka:_** Idiot

_**Irish Gaelic**_

**_Tir-na-n-Og_**: The summer lands, the after life, heaven

**_Garinion: _** Granddaughter

**_Mamo:_** _Informal_ Grandmother

**_leisciuil thoin: _**Lazy Ass

**_Anam_**: Spirit, soul, aura

_**Madra:** _Specifically hound, as apposed to just dog. A canine prized for its hunting abilities.

**_Tine:_** Fire

**_Uisce:_** water

**_Spear:_** sky/air

**_Talamh: _**earth

**_Anam_**: Spirit, soul, aura

_**Fin.**_

**_Ok to everyone: Ta bron orm, I'm very sorry, but my life hit a real shitty 4 months and unfortunately I had no time to do anything until I figured out how to: stay in my apartment, stay warm and eat. I hope everything is more stable now but thanks for hanging in there with me!_**

**Tottsiepop: **_Had ta get ya in here girl, thanks for sending me green things to make my sad life brighter!_

**D-Chan3: **_I think a longer life can be a safe bet at this point, but for anything cosmetic, I'm not sure. Donella is not gonna get strong enough to kill Naraku on her own or change her shape. However, she is gonna definitely be able to protect Rin, beat up Jaken and help Sessh kick some serious ass anyway._

**Feathergriffin: **The Fiddler on the Roof, hahaha well, unfortunately for some fans Donella and Sessh aren't going to start rabidly ripping each other's cloths off. I Sessh has to get Donella to trust him first, and he's kind of a self involved jerk so that's gonna take some work on her part. But at least she's realized she'd like to rip his cloths off!

**Closet Oddity: **_Thanks for the review, if you like dry humor you should read my short oneshot "Fan Girl". I hear it's funny and it's about Sessh_

**Ritual Noise/** Jenna Thompsom_Thanks so much! Reviews are like crack as is evident that, though my life fell in the toilet these last 4 months I am back righting soon after I can afford to have internet, coffee and my dog in the same place! Thanks so much please keep reading!_

**Ladii Tempest: **_As always, thank you for being such a loyal fan and laughing in all the right places. It makes me think I don't stink thanks again._

**Phoenix Nephthys: Always **_a loyal year thank so much your criticism means a lot._

**Mmoirai: **_Well she realizes she want to boink him, but then she's had a 2 year dry spell, may be that monk is going to start looking good too. I kid. ;)_

**Tsubasa Kya: **_Does Sessh ever do anything randomly? Alas we should enjoy these warm moments he's gonna piss her off again soon…_

**Watterlilykitty:** _Thanks for your care, concern and support it was rough but I'm back, at least for a little while._

**Arvael: **_I'm sorry I lost your email!_

**Wandering Hitokiri, Sueariel, InuDstories, firefarire93, Inusbabe, Suki dah Turdle, Miss L. Anyus, dark eyed demon girl , JamminChick93613entropy9, HikoCassidy, FulleLover, any anyone I may have missed or reads without reviewing**: _Thanks so much for your patience and your love! They keep me going in the hard times!!_


	17. No Way Home

_**A/N Wow, hello everyone! Been a long time, but I am finally back to working on this story and committed to finishing it. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to do so and still love the story after all this time. I hope that this, though short chapter, is enough to help make amends. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. Peter Pan and all it's characters is property of the heirs of J. M. Barrie. I don't own anything but Donella, her relatives and Adrian... And lately I think they own me and want me to finish their damn story...**_

The Botanist and The Beast

No Way Home

_Dear Jabberwocky,_

_I am truly enjoying my looking-glass room. There is no one here to scold me away from the fire; so it is much warmer than the other room. And what fun it is when they see me through the glass in here, and can't get at me!_

_-Alice_

My bed moved. Drowsily, I curled against the motion, attempting to keep it still and hold on to the wonderful dream I'd been having. Yet the bed fought back, pulling the warm, fuzzy blankets from me. I made an inarticulate noise of annoyed protest as I clumsily grabbed for the furry deserter and pulled it back to its place over my shoulder and under my chin, but the second I let go it reenacted its original withdrawal. This latest attempt at abandonment forcing me to snatch it back, clutch it close and burrow my way further down into the warm, silken sheets with an unintelligible mutter, that should have been, "I don't want to wake up," but sounded more like, "Don't wata waoop."

None of these strange occurrences signaled my treacherously fuzzy brain to remind me of where I had fallen asleep, or in whose embrace. Nor why I was incongruously encased in warm silk and cozy fur or why my mattress was breathing; until a hand slowly glided from my waist to my shoulder. Thus, when the electric current generated by that motion jolted through my skin, it turned my internal organs to jello, caused my heart to race, my body to jerk back and my eyes to fly open as that previously withheld knowledge slammed into the forefront of my mind.

The first thing to come into focus where laughing, liquid gold eyes; then an aristocratic nose and a pair of full lips curving slightly at the left corner in a teasing smirk. It was a good thing there was so much adrenalin pumping through my veins, because that look threatened to be my undoing. Instead I managed to deflect the breath hitching, mind blowing, knee weakening force of it with annoyance. "Is encouraging me to sleep and then aggravating me into wakefulness some sort of yokai torture technique, or is this another one of your fiendish maneuvers to allow me no serenity?"

His smile became broader, "Your rest has lasted much longer than your usual span, ningen, and watching you slumber bores me."

"Well since you have now completely ruined my phenomenally good dream about Legolas Greenleaf, I'd say that makes us about even." I announced indignantly as I disentangled myself from his far too comfortable embrace. "I am beginning to suspect that this spitefulness of yours is not race or species related, but originating entirely from your own mischievous soul. Surely **Urufu**-yokai or even other Inu-yokai would not subject their companions to such protracted and sporadic torment."

The look he gave me was one of acrimonious disdain, but he had regained his stoic composure and didn't take the bait. Instead, he remained silent as I went through the familiar morning routine of rousing the coals into a fire and starting breakfast in blessed solitude.

There was a time, not long ago, when his glacial quiet would not have bothered me. Yet as the day wore on, through my meal, clean up, and the mental and physical exercises my incorporeal ancestors mandated upon me, he remained uncommunicative and attentive to my every move. Hours went by and the only proof that he wasn't carved from the same rock wall that supported him was the constant movement of his golden eyes as they shifted incessantly to keep me and my every action in view. It was a steadfast, creepy, nerve wracking distraction. The whole mess was compounded with my frustrated mind replaying the awkward events of those first early morning moments in my head and a terrifying certainty engulfed me. _If he insists on the same sleeping arrangement tonight, I am most definitely going to wake up doing something I'll regret, and be killed for it._

Uacteran chuckled wickedly, and a sharp, excited thrill rose from my mamo, yet neither commented on my internal damnation. Instead Uacteran ranted, _Quit yer __blath_ _gatherin' whelp, an' go through that again, an' this time pay yer own bill, I'll nay help ye this time!_

I let out my zillionth heavy sigh of the day and went through the kata again; all the while trying to focus my energy into cutting a nearby boulder in half and ignore my immovable audience of one, simultaneously. I expected to hear the blade nicking sound of by sword bounding off of the rock again as I continued to destroy it's edge.

I took a deep, practiced breath and called the power. Sliding like an electric eel through my feet, it rose effortlessly into my body, spreading a dazzling warmth as it approached my arms, flowing down through my hands and into the blade. I focused my inner eye and saw the rock clearly in my mind sliced neatly in two with less effort than cutting soft butter. My body finished the kata. Seconds later and I heard the stone halves rattle to the cave floor. The echoing noise was deafening, but it was the sound of victory! My half lidded eyes flew completely open and I let out a triumphant laugh. I whirled happily to face my companion, intent on sharing my success, only to meet an impassive gaze and an ironically quirked eyebrow.

My joy dissipated into sheepish embarrassment. _Of coarse, my cutting a stupid rock in half with a crappy sword isn't cool to a guy who can do the same thing with his bare hands._ I sighed heavily and my shoulders slumped a little at the blow to my ego.

_Ye did a great job lass! An' ye should be right proud o' yerself. _Uacteran praised.

_Aye, child ye're finally comin' inta yer own, an' we're right pleased wi' ye. Donna give him no mind, he canna understand how hard it is fer one not born ta such power to learn ta wield it. _

_I'm done for to day._ I thought back at them as I sheathed my blade and turned from Sesshomaru. Sweat ran down my back and my muscles twitched from the day's exertion. This far from the cave's mouth there was no way to accurately gauge the passage of time, but my stomach and sore body convinced me that I had missed lunch by several hours. Feeling dirty and smelly I gathered my bath items and yukata before wordlessly heading towards the hot spring without a glance to my companion. _Lunch can wait, _I thought tiredly as I sat my burden by the water's edge and began to loosen by obi.

"I shall return shorty." Sesshomaru's crisp words made me jump, but by the time I had turned towards them, he was gone. To tired to even be annoyed at his supercilious manner I finished undressing and lowered myself into the relaxing embrace of the hot spring and sighed heavily. Even though the heat made my aching body want nothing more than for me to soak a nice long time, I hurried through my bath, very cognizant that at any moment Sesshomaru could return and find me in a compromising state of undress.

The contrast between the caves cool air and the hot spring covered me in goose flesh as I rushed to towel off. "I wonder where he went." I thought out loud, and a spoken answer from the cave entrance caused me to jump and drop my towel.

"Like a good doggy he is following the trail of Naraku's scent I laid for him. By now he is quite some distance from here and unable to interrupt us." Byakuya said with a small giggle as he eyed me, languidly dragging the paper lotus in his fingers back and forth along his jaw as he spoke. Stalling, and trying hard not to let my fear and surprise show, I reached for my yukata and began to dress.

"What exactly is it that you want from me Byakuya?" I fought to keep my voice calm; my mind racing for a way to get to my weapon in the other cavern and damning Sesshomaru for an impulsive fool. Even my peanut gallery was silent and unhelpful.

"What do _**I**_ want my dear?," he asked with a smirk and a wink, as he thoughtfully tapped the lotus against his chin. "I was rather enjoying the view of your unclothed form, alas, my master's desire is the one I have here to serve. Give me the bracelet, hime-sama, and I shall be on my way." His reasonable tone and lecherous expression helped my anger over come my fear. This man had nothing on Sesshomaru when it came to instilling terror in his prey, and Byakuya didn't have a thirty foot yokai to back him up this time.

_He canna take it from ya unless ye give it to him, lass. _My grandmother's voice was reassuring in my frantically spinning brain. _Where have you been, how do I get out of this?_ I thought at her agitatedly. _We are to week ta help ye, we exhausted ourselves teaching ye today. _Her tone did sound weak and worn, and I momentarily wondered how much energy they had expended so that I could hear her at all. Shaking my head and acknowledging that, at least for the moment, I as on my own. I tried to stall.

I extended my hand and hoped my grandmother was right. "It's right here, Byakuya, come and get it." Suddenly an ugly worm-like yokai was on my arm, it's teeth intent on the band around my wrist. When it's mouth connected, the creature's entire body jolted and fell lifelessly to the ground. Byakuya laughed.

"As Naraku suspected, the enchantment cannot be forced, but do not worry, hime-sama, I have a solution." I hastily erected a barrier wall in front of me, but when he threw his lotus, instead of becoming a projectile it burst into a fine, shimmering powder that filled the cavern and drifted around my partition. As it settled, I felt my body become weak, a little girl with long white hair and flower barrettes appeared at my side and shoved me roughly into the spring behind me. The last thought I had before my mind faded to black was, F_unny, you couldn't see your refection in the water before. When did it become so smooth?_

I woke up to my alarm screeching that it was seven-thirty and shuffling noises coming from my bathroom. I rubbed my face in confusion, attempting to dispel the fog in my head. "Hurry up sleepy head, you have a meeting at nine and I need you to drop me off at the mechanics so I can get my car before then." Adrian's voice rang out over the sound of the faucet. Trying to shake myself from the strange dream I'd had, something to do with elves, little green men, kids and feudal Japan. I found my slippers and shuffled to bathroom door. Adrian was at the sink brushing his teeth, black hair roguishly disheveled, blue eyes dancing at me in the mirror. I couldn't help smiling impishly back at him.

"Let's forget meetings and errands and stay in bed all day!" I announced, stepping forward and molding myself to his back as I wrapped my arms around him in an inverted hug. Resting my head on his shoulder blades I breathed him in. He smelled like mint soap, herbal shampoo and his aftershave. _God I miss this smell_. I thought, and then frowned trying to remember why I would miss something that was currently in my arms.

My confusion was banished by Adrian laughing, a sharp, carefree sound, "Wish I could babe, but there's a million things to do before dinner tonight, and I won't be the reason we catch hell from your sister for being late." I stepped back as he turned in my arms and kissed me. Even though time was ticking by and we had a million things to do, is was a slow, sensual affair. Adrian was never one to rush the little joys in life. I giggle as he stepped back and playfully nipped my nose. "Now get in the shower dirty girl, I'll make some coffee." He was at the door and I had my night gown off before he asked, "You aren't wearing that thing into the shower are you?" Confused I looked down and realized I was wearing my grandmother's ruby bracelet. Touching the stone thoughtfully I felt loath to remove it.

"Meh, it's gold, it's not like it will rust," and I laughed giving him a flirtatious wink, "it makes me feel beautiful." A disquieting look crossed his face for a second before it was washed away with a rueful grin.

"Babe, you look beautiful all on your own," he teased and giving the bracelet one last look, he left the room.

Time is a strange thing. It seemed like a week went by, but all I could remember about it was the feeling of time passing and a few key moments, as if I was only getting the highlight reel of my life. I remember teaching students, faculty meetings, working in my lab, dinners with my siblings and long, passionate nights in Adrian's arms, but no details. The one reoccurring theme was the bracelet. He wasn't forceful about it, or annoying, but Adrian was continuous in asking after the bauble and wanting me to take it off and wear another piece of jewelry.

Then things began to get even more confusing as, little girls with black hair would make me feel as if I'd lost something important and randomly cause me to weep. I started collecting anything in my day to day life with frogs or white dogs on them, and then Adrian and I had a major fight. It began with one of my crying fits as I saw children playing outside our condo. Adrian rushed from his chair and pulled me into his arms protectively. "Shush, hon, don't cry, love." he murmured around kisses into my hair. I struggled to get a hold of myself as I hugged him, desperately clinging to his person until the pain in my heart eased and the sense of loss faded. When I was nothing but sniffles he lifted my face to his and wiped my tears away. I gave him a weak smile, which he returned with an accepting grin. "There now, lovely one. I've got something that will cheer you right up!" He said pleasantly.

He went to the bedroom and returned with a small oblong box. "I think that we need to do something about all these tears." he stated conspiratorially as he handed me the box. Inside was a beautiful silver bracelet and several unattached charms in the shapes of little boys and girl with hollow bodies.

"What is this?" I asked him in confusion. He smiled and lead me to the couch before replying. He took the box from me and sat it in my lap; claiming my hands with his, he looking into my eyes earnestly.

"I think that all these tears are a sign, a biological response to our lack of a family." I frowned and made to pull my hands away, but he clutched them tighter and interrupted the angry retort I had opened my mouth to make. "'Ella, listen to me, babe, please." The appeal is his voice mollified me a little, but I continued to frown and my body was tensing for an argument. "I want this, I want a family with you and children to call our own. We have a good life, and I know we can make it better. I was offered a job with a litigation firm yesterday and I want to take it. I can still do pro bono advocacy on the side, but I want the better world we build to include our own family, our children and I think it's time we start that project." He gave me a hopeful smile and my heart leaped into my throat and I threw my arms around him, headless of the box in my lap.

"Of course!" I laughed, and cried as I kissed him in sheer joy. Our life, a family, I could hardly believe it. I so desperately wanted a little girl of my own. I couldn't stop smiling.

Adrian gave me a devilish grin, "No time like the present to start." I laughed as he lifted me from the couch and carried me into the bedroom, showering me with hot kisses the entire way.

Several wonderful hours later, I was dozing happily when he brought me the forgotten gift from the living room floor. Showing me the charms he explained, "it's a birthstone bracelet, you put the stone of the baby in the little figurine and attach it the the bracelet like so," he said using a little girl charm to demonstrate how they affix to the chain. "I may have gone over-bored on buying charms, but I'd love us to have a big family. Here try it on," he encouraged holding it out to my right hand, looking down at my grandmother's ruby band, I offered my left wrist instead and Adrian lost his temper.

"Really! Are you never going to take that thing off?" He exploded. My left hand automatically covered the torq defensively and my anger took hold.

"Why is it such a big deal? Jesus H. Christ, Adrian! You act like it's some kind of personal insult to you!" I exploded jumping from the bed to tower over his sitting form. Quickly coming to his knees on the mattress he snatched my left wrist before I could distance myself.

"It's not an insult, you've just been wearing the ugly thing for weeks, and it's a bit crazy!" he declared trying to pull me towards him and back onto the bed. I resisted.

"Crazy! UGLY! This bracelet has been in my family for generation! It's the last gift my grandmother gave me before she died and if I want to wear it until kingdom come I'll do just that you dimwitted muic!" Adrian's face became pleading and it was obvious he was about to change his tactic when we were suddenly no longer alone.

"Unhand her." A voice like a snow drift washed over the room. In the doorway stood an immaculate man with flowing white hair, in traditional Japanese cloths, hand on sword and death in his eyes. His name fell from my lips unbidden and suddenly I remembered everything.

"Sesshomaru." It was almost a breath, but he heard it and his red eyes turned to me. Like a gallon of ice water had been dumped over my head, I gasped ,and became fully aware of the scene before the enraged daiyoukai. Adrian and I, both naked, him kneeling on the bed clutching the charm bracelet in one hand and my wrist in the other. Rumpled blankets, askew pillows, forgotten charms and box scattered in the mess. It was painfully obvious what activity we had been engaged in before the argument and a furious blush crept into my cheeks as I snatched my hand roughly from Adrian's grasp.

Infuriated, I rounded on the imposter in the bed, modesty momentarily forgotten, "Who the fuck are you and what it going on here?" Pain filled his blue eyes and he looked from Sesshomaru to me before answering.

"'Ella, love, it's me, Adrian, babe, you know who I am. Who is this guy and what the hell is he doing here?" The look of confusion and heartbreak on his face was almost unbearable, but I backed away from him as if he were a snake and without looking away I made my way, slowly to Sesshomaru's side.

"No, Adrian has been dead for years, and you are some machination of Byakuya's to get me to give my torq to him for Naraku." The apparition hung his head and suddenly the world changed.

"The term invasive species refers to a subset of introduced species or non-indigenous species that are rapidly expanding outside of their native range. Invasive species can alter ecological relationships..." I trailed off looking around the classroom full of college students in confusion. Trying to remember how I got here or why I knew in my soul it wasn't real. With conviction I announced, "This isn't real either! Stop playing games, creature!" and then Sesshomaru and Adrian were there and the rooms was empty of all others. Instead of the dress skirt and button down shirt I had on moments earlier, I was wearing my white yukata and my feet were bare.

Sesshomaru was trapped in some sort of glass enclosure, furiously bouncing his body off of the wall nearest me and striking at it with his sword. No sound of his struggle reached my ears, but his fury was clear. The fake Adrian walked towards me, a heart-wrenching look on his face. "We had a perfect thing going, my pet." He said wearily, "We were going start a family, have a good life, you were happy, I know you were. We can still have that, 'Ella, please, let me give you the life you dream of." He had reached the podium I stood at while he was speaking, and his sorrowful blue eyes met mine. His words were mesmerizing, convincing in their sincerity and my own heartsick desire to believe them. The ache of loss I felt for the life I could have had with Adrian was like a wound in my soul, bleeding me dry and weakening my resolve.

A small voice inside of me whispered; urging me to look at Sesshomaru, but those emotive blue eyes drew me in like a whirlpool. I took a hesitant step towards Adrian, tears pricking my eyes, "But you're dead, you have been dead for years." A suppressed sob made be swallow hard and my voice trembled as I continued in a soft whisper, "I cannot live a lie."

"'Ella, you can't honestly say you'd choose him over me. Babe, I love you, heart and soul! I came back from the grave for you! That is the power of our love, our bond, don't throw away our second chance, I'm begging you." The look of grief contorting his face was too much to bear. I turned my head away, and met Sesshomaru's gaze.

He had stopped fighting. He stood calm and regal, as if awaiting my judgment, cold as ice and immovable as the mountains in his glass cage. A picture of indomitable strength. "I gave my word, Adrian, I am needed somewhere else, this isn't my place anymore." The words came out softly, but I heard my conviction in them. Rin, Jaken, Sesshomaru... Home. I turned to meet Adrian's gaze once more, now distorted with shock and rage.

"You would choose that animal! That inhuman monster with the blood of countless innocents on his hand, over me and our love, our life?" he sputtered incredulously.

"I am needed somewhere else," I repeated with more conviction, urging him to understand, "The life we would have here is false, and would only serve my selfish whim. That's not who I am, nor is it who I want to be. The life I lead with Sesshomaru, Rin and Jaken is not a grand life, nor is it a romantic one, but there is love, and purpose there. I may not be a powerful help, but I will do what I can as long as I can until, with my very last breath, I cannot go on, and I will know it was well worth the sacrifice. Even this, even you, my love." Tears were in my eyes, but they refused to fall. The look of rage that clouded Adrian's features contorted his handsome face into a cruel, evil parody of himself.

"Love?" he scoffed, "That beast cannot love you! It is incapable of such a soft emotion, though it is obvious you have fooled yourself into having feelings for it!" The violence and poisonous tone in Adrian's voice bordered on madness, a man beyond hope. _This is the true monster, _I thought, _ this mockery of the man I loved._

"You have revealed your true nature, imitator," my voice was now calm, malicious, but my resolve was set. "Adrian would have urged me to continue with my cause, deemed it worthy and encouraged me forward, not back. He would not have spoken of love in such jealous words, nor been so eager for me to give up my life to join him. You play well to my guilt, and my sorrow for letting him go, for caring for another and giving them a place in my heart. You read my rejection and pain easily, my hopeless feelings, but you truly don't know anything of the man you pretend to be. End this illusion and begone creature, I would return to the world with Sesshomaru and be done with these games. Go back to your master and tell him you have failed."

"I will not fail!" The apparition bellowed and charged. Reaching blindly, I found an object on the lectern I had been teaching from and holding it forward, drove it upwards into is stomach, under his ribs, and into his heart. Adrian stepped back, a metal pointer buried in his chest, blood oozing from his mouth shock and terror in his eyes. "'Ella," he gurgled as he fell to the floor in an ever widening pool of blood.

My surroundings faded away again, and this time I was at the bottom of a pool hot water, lungs begging for air and confused as to which way was up. Panicking to save myself, I paddled my arms and kicked my legs, but there was no light to guide me and no natural direction in those depths to orient to. My limbs began to weaken and my lungs burned, any moment my mouth would gasp open and I would inhale water, dizziness assailed me. Then, a strong arm circled my waist, and I was pulled against a tall, lean body as he propelled us forward with strong, sure kicks. I gasped and coughed as my head broke the surface of the hot spring, unable to do anything, but sputter, pant and hang limply from Sesshomaru's arm as he hauled me from the water.

He pulled us out onto a pile of limp paper cranes, blearily I noticed there was a path of them leading from the cave mouth to the pool, and many more still magically suspended in the air on either side of the swath. It was a puzzle for later cognition, my brain was far to muddled just then from lack of oxygen and fear. The cranes meant only one thing to me then, we still were not safe. I weakly made it to my hands and knees as Sesshomaru stood. So focused was I on getting to my dry cloths that I only vaguely noticed the other cranes move towards us. However, Sesshomaru dispatched them

so quickly with his whip they didn't even seem to pose a threat.

Having reached my kimono I began to change, discarding my modesty for expedience, though in truth, the soaked yukata was almost as revealing. "We are not safe here, we have to leave." I said needlessly as I finally stood and donned my kimono. Sesshomaru, obviously keen to the danger, had inspected both caverns and gathered my pack as I dressed. He now stood agitatedly at the cave mouth scenting the air and searching the darkness, still dripping water from head to foot.

Not bothering to ring it out, I squeezed my sodden yukata into an outer pocket of my pack, put on my douchuugi and shouldered my bag. I stepped towards Sesshomaru, intending to inform him of my readiness, yet by the time I had opened my mouth I was already pressed into his body and we were flying from the cave, back towards the shiro. What had taken us five days to hike from only took him moments in flight; we were landing before I even noticed how damp he was, or that his mokomoko did in fact smell slightly of wet dog.

_**A/N a little note on language. Though Donella speaks English and it is magically translated into something the uni world inhabitants can comprehend, everyone else speaks their native language and hence the use of Japanese words and inflections in some of the speech. Since, though we can translate hime-sama into princess, it's connotation is a bit different that just that and the flavor of the word is just fun to have. Please read and review, and thanks again for your patience. My life has been pretty rough these last few years and the encouragement and love from all my fans helps me carry on. Special Thanks to **Tootsiepop254, **who read failed chapters and has always been there to give me a smile and an encouraging word.**_


	18. Snow, Sleds, and Echoing Silence

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. All of them are used here without permission… if you made it through all the other chapters then you know who, what belongs to, if you just popped onto this chapter randomly, read backwards.

The Botanist and the Beast

Chapter 18: Snow, Sleds, and Echoing Silence

_Dear Alice,_

_The results of the most recent Caucus-race have been posted, inexplicably, all have won. Be ready to present prizes Wednesday next._

_- The Dodo_

Seven weeks passed without incident. Though Sesshomaru stayed close to the castle, I didn't see him. The constant presence of his aura began to annoy me. Even though I knew it would be pointless, I still felt I needed to talk to him about what had occurred with Byakuya's illusion. My mamo informed me that if I had not been so thoroughly lost in the deception I would have noticed Sesshomaru enter the trap only moments after I was forced in. He had witness practically everything that had occurred and been unable to interfere until I had managed to weakened the fantasy with my anger. My thoughts and emotions on that score were in a jumble and I refused to scrutinize them to closely.

I had nightmares almost every night of stabbing Adrian to death and his blood pooling on the floor of that lecture hall. It was as if I'd lost him all over again. When the cancer took him I was helpless as he slowly faded away from me, guilt over my impuissance had tortured me for years. This time I was the reason he died. Instead of self-reproach, however, I felt nothing but rage towards Naraku and Byakuya.

I described the girl who had pushed me to Jaken at the first opportunity, pretending Sesshomaru and I had only encountered her, and give him no details of the actual events. For him, it was enough that Sesshomaru and I had beaten Byakuya and the child back, Jaken's hero worship filled in my gaps. The little girl was named was Kanna, and her specialty was stealing souls and trapping them in her mirror. It didn't take much deduction for me to decide Kanna had used her mirror to help trap my body and soul in Byakuya's illusion, it also explained the completeness of the deception. I felt like a fool.

The days had fallen into a routine of: storytelling, singing, knitting, katas, reading, writing, cooking, play and laundry. In many ways a stationary life was harder on us than the road. Extra chores such as airing futons, cleaning sheets, keeping dirt up off the floor and hauling firewood indoors stole hours from the day. Much of the housekeeping fell to me, both Jaken and Rin being too small to use most of the equipment in the laundry, to lift the mattresses or cut wood. It was fulfilling employment, however, and kept my mind off of my troubles.

The shiro was drafty, and despite the constant fires and layers of extra cloths Jaken's amphibian body never seemed to be warm enough. The discomfort made him even more unpleasant to be around, and in the orbit of the few rooms we kept heated, he often made the confinement unbearable. I developed the bad habit of throwing him out of the nearest door or window and into the snow when it became to much for my temper to bear. It relieved the stress a great deal, temporarily gentled the kappa's tongue, and made Rin giggle for hours.

Overall it was a pleasure to be back with Rin and Jaken. Despite what I considered to be Byakuya's desecration of Adrian's memory, and the horror of what I had done to the man I had loved so deeply, I almost had to thank Kanna and Byakuya. The hollow, incomplete feeling which had plagued me in the illusionary world was gone, entirely obliterated by the love and joy my little adopted family provided me. If I ignored the confusing jumble of thoughts and feelings where Sesshomaru was concerned and my conflicting anxieties over his interpretation of what took place in the illusion, I was positive that I was right were I belonged.

The snow had started to melt by the end of February and the air and earth were promising an unseasonably early spring by the time he confronted me. Predictably he crept in as I was practicing my sword. Since our return I had gradually gained command of the gifts my ancestors had bestowed upon me. I now felt confident that, precluding a severe emotional outburst, I could perform the new abilities at will.

I whirled gracefully, moving my sword with my body's momentum in a fluid strike to my left, feeling the flow of energy hum through my body and into the blade; exhilarated by knowing I had performed the kata with deadly perfection. Until I realized my sword was moving, not to the empty space I had intended, but the solid belly of Sesshomaru's breastplate. I managed to pull my strike seconds before impact, and let out a choked half sob in relief when I realize I hadn't touched him.

"Your control impresses this Sesshomaru, ningen." he announced impassively.

The comfort I had felt only seconds earlier dissolved into ire at this recurrence his old game and the shock of seeing him for the first time in over a month. All the words I wanted to say to him, all of my carefully planned explanations and apologies were wiped blank from my mind. I was reduced to stare into his eyes numbly as a trillion emotions constricted my voice into uselessness. "Is it your intention to challenge me?" he asked coolly, drawing my gaze from his to my sword, still posed to eviscerate him.

I threw the sword across the room in disgusted and turned from Sesshomaru. Shoulders slumped, head hung low, I was intent only on leaving his presence before I burst into tears in front of him. _All this time, and the first thing I do when I see him is breakdown. Pathetic. _I thought dejectedly as I fled. Predictably, he did not even allow me to reach the door before he was before me again. I stopped just short of smacking my head into that annoying breastplate and looked up into his expressionless face once more. Annoyance began to dissipate my self-loathing and overcome my illogically tempestuous cognition, quietly I asked, "What do you want, Sesshomaru-sama?"

His hand gently grasped my chin and guided my stare from the tassels on his breastplate to meet his eyes. I could not describe the look on his countenance as he spoke, so foreign was it to his appearance. On anyone else I might have called it regret, "This Sesshomaru disregarded his vow and allowed you to come to harm at the hands of his enemies." This declaration was not what I had expected. "You have not left, despite such a violation. This Sesshomaru is appreciative that, even though he disgracefully abandoned his obligation, you have not seen fit to do the same."

I felt my eyes widen with the shock of his words. I wanted to tell him that he didn't disregard anything, he was tricked, that the danger I was in was all my fault and that is was impossible for me to blame him. Yet, I knew he wouldn't appreciate those abnegations, true as they may be. The fact that he had slandered himself and denounced his own actions was not something I could reverse with denial. Tears pricked my eyes. This was so far from the castigation and disapproval I had expected from him for being weak and allowing myself to be so easily used by Byakuya. So I said it for him.

"I was naive and weak. You speak of disgrace, Sesshomaru-sama, the disgrace is mine for allowing Byakuya to use me in such and transparent and shameful fashion." My words faltered and felt a tear escape my left eye and run down to my chin. "I do not know how you can even tolerate looking at me." I whispered haltingly as I attempted to move my head and avert my face, but his grip denied me.

"Baka," He replied softly, "you cannot deceive this Sesshomaru. You broke free from the combined might of two of Naraku's incarnations, there was no weakness there. That soul-snare was designed to destroy the both of us, the power used to produce such was formidable. From the moment you entered, your spirit and life-force were being drained. Still you withheld, endured and eventually prevailed. You destroyed the trap entirely even while this Sesshomaru's own yokai was being used to fuel it." He shook his head in wonderment, his tone sounded suspiciously like admiration.

The relief that flooded through me threatened to be my undoing. He_ doesn't despise me! _ I thought in astonishment. A derisive snort from Uacteran was the only comment from my peanut gallery. I vaguely wondered if my mamo had possibly found a way to force him into silence or if that was all the energy he could muster after my practice. I smiled in delight; my heart rejoiced and I might have confessed my affections towards him right there, if Rin's voice from behind Sesshomaru hadn't saved me from such an ludicrous declaration.

"Donella-sama!" She announced as she burst through the doorway. Sesshomaru's hand instantly released my chin and I quickly scrubbed the tears from my face with the corner of my sleeve as she declared joyously, "Sesshomaru-sama!" and attached herself to his left leg in glee. She began prattling about how much she had missed him, everything we had been doing for the past several weeks and complaints about Jake's attitude. Helpless giggle consumed her as she described me throwing Jaken repeatedly out into the weather.

"Damatte inasai, Rin." Sesshomaru's softly spoken words had an immediate effect on the young girl. Jumping backwards Rin comically covered her mouth with both hands and nodded several times. Already exultant that Sesshomaru was again back among us and did not despise me, I let out a merry laugh at her antics. Giddiness made me shaky. Sesshomaru spared me a quick glance before returning his full attention to the child, "Return to Jaken and inform him Donella-san requires a hot bath straightaway and then he is to prepare sustenance promptly after that task has been accomplished." Upon receiving her orders Rin emphatically nodded several times, hands still covering her mouth, cheeks puffing against the strain not to speak, before rushing headlong towards the shiro's main house. Exuberant laughter escaping her as she ran.

I smiled happily as I said, "Thank you Sesshomaru-sama, your consideration is most appreciated." I gave a short chuckle, "though I am uncertain how edible any fair Jaken can prepare will be." I made my way to the house, more than a little surprised to find Sesshomaru moving with me.

"Is Jaken lacking in the ability to procure appropriate nourishment?" I laughed again.

"No, For a kappa who thinks marsh bugs are a treat, he has learned to be a fair chef. Rather, let us say that it is not in any yokai's nature to prepare pleasing meals for humans. Our diets are far too dissimilar, and Jaken is struggling to learn the fine art of seasonings and spices." I paused as we entered the shiro to take my shoes off at the vestibule. "Though, to his credit he is diligently gleaning what he can by watching me cook, and he has a very acute sense of taste. However I believe his sense of smell is not very keen." I frowned thinking of that, "I suppose being an anura that would make sense. I presume each classification of yokai have divergent physiognomy. Canines having sharp hearing, and faculties for smells, for instance. Where I'd imagine arachnida would perhaps have a dense exoskeleton or chelicerae appendages. I wonder if jyorogumo are overly tactile in their human forms." I mused entering the home, until I reached the bath, I was unaware that at some point in my contemplation Sesshomaru had left me. Shrugging off his absence, and hoping it wouldn't be for another seven weeks, I undressed and sank into the hot water with a grateful sigh.

Sesshomaru was waiting with the others in the kitchen when I arrived. He seemed very out of place in that setting; regally perched on one of the red cushions we had brought in from the dining hall, lording over the servant's battered chabudai. I suddenly wished we had made it a habit to eat in any other room. Though the feebleness of the table was the least of the hiccups Sesshomaru's presence created in our normally genial routine.

Jaken for one, was nervous and babbling, attempting to both create the best meal he had ever produced and find ways to make Sesshomaru more comfortable. This caused the little toad to mostly run between the chabudai and the stove in agitated, unproductive circles. Rin was enticing this behavior by cycling through suggestions of all the things that Jaken could be forgetting, and evoking other dishes that were probably better than the one he was preparing. I stopped the overwrought kappa in mid scurry; pushing him back to the stove and gave Rin a warning look saying, "Jaken, just stir the broth, those vegetables will be done soon and they look great." My words and glare calmed the pandemonium for a moment, allowing me to take a breath.

The next issue arose once the food was finally served, with Sesshomaru present there were not enough pillows for everyone to sit on. A short scuffle arose between Rin and Jaken over the last cushions. Neither one wanting to run to the other end of the house to retrieve another, nor would hear of my doing so. I solved this by hitting Jaken upside the head with my own before lowering myself to the bare stone floor. "Jaken, sit, eat." I ordered coolly, knowing he would start to protest without a directive. I didn't spare him a glance, as I focused on serving myself from the nabemono.

I had been endeavoring to teach Jaken how to prepare this particular dish for several weeks and I approached this attempt with some trepidation. Biting into a piece of kabocha I was delighted to find out that it smelled and tasted delicious, especially since the kappa seemed obsessed with cooking the squash into the consistency of snot. "Jaken! Well done this is truly delightful!" I exclaimed digging into the houtou-nabe with zeal. "Thank you for the food." Rin nodded emphatically and made happy noises of agreement around her mouth fulls of noodles and vegetables. Jaken inflated with the praise to almost twice his size, and magnanimously exalting my supremacy as an instructor.

The meal went more smoothly after that. Jaken dutifully informed me of the status of the food stores in the larder and the root cellar. Rin tattled on him for eating an entire jar of gari by himself and I managed to silence the bickering by threatening to revoke story time. Sesshomaru sat through it all, and the subsequent communal clean up, with the stoic impassivity of a pet rock.

After, we retired to what I had come to call the living room. I was delighted to see someone had lit the irori sometime before dinner and I added more charcoal to the small heater as we crowded around the horigotatsu. Sesshomaru did not snuggle under the oki with the rest of us, preferring to sit on a tatami closer to the fire. From his vantage point he could observe the entire room perfectly, but none of us could see him directly without turning our heads to him and making it obvious.

Strangely, even with his long absence it was clear I was the only one who wished to keep him in sight. Everyone else was intent on me, and the next scheduled evening event: story time and all eyes were eagerly on me. "so where did I stop last night?" I asked mischievously pretending to be confused.

"In the pool of tears! With the mouse and all the other animals!" Rin exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Alice had insulted the mouse." Was Jake's helpful, and almost simultaneous reply.

"Oh right." I drawled. Leaning forward in a conspiratorial manner I began, "The entire party swam to shore. Once on the bank Alice, the mouse, the duck, dodo, lory, eaglet, and miscellaneous other curious creatures were quite a sad, cross, uncomfortable group. Feathers, fur and clothing dripping; the first question was, of course, how to get dry..." I spoke for about an hour, recounting Alice's re-acquaintance with the White Rabbit, the destruction of his house, the fate of poor Bill, and the puppy. I had just gotten to the part she would meet Caterpillar, when Rin started to loose the battle against her drooping eyelids. "Bedtime, Hotaru." I announced standing as I did so, intent on accompany her, and tuck her in, but as I gained my feet, Sesshomaru spoke.

"Donella-san, I wish to speak to you." I had been avoiding looking his way all evening, but I did so now. His chill voice washing over me after the weeks of absence, welcome and confusing all at once. I tried to glean some idea of what he was thinking from his impassive face, yet as usual, there was no clue to be found there.

"Of course, Sesshomaru-sama, allow me to see Rin to bed and then my time is yours." I replied cautiously.

"That's all right, Donella-sama!" Rin proclaimed, cheerfully hugging me, "Rin will tuck herself in tonight, if I can have my kiss now, please." I leaned down and pecked her solemnly on the forehead and she kissed my cheek.

"Sweet dreams." I smiled warmly at the girl, smoothing down her hair; she nodded and with a reverent bow to Sesshomaru, left the room. Overall, remarkably more well behaved and accommodating than most evenings.

I watched the door slide shut and listened to her receding footsteps for a moment before I turned to the longanimous inu-daiyokai. "If this is going to be a lengthy conversation, Sesshomaru-sama, might I be permitted to obtain myself some tea before we begin?" I sighed inwardly, dreading what he might have to say to me, but also relieved that the other shoe was dropping. Soon, all the reproach I had anticipated over what he had observed would be addressed.

"You may." he answered, I gave him a nod of thanks and removed myself to the kitchen to prepare the tea, and myself for what was to come. I was a nervous wreck by the time I had the tea tray prepared, and knots in my stomach when I finally returned with a pot of tea and two cups.

He had moved to the table while I was gone and ,surprisingly, had added more coal to the cooling irori. "Thank you for adding fuel to the irori, Sesshomaru-sama." I said with a cautious smile. He only inclined his head and continued to patiently watching me putter about. I took my time placing the tray on the horigotatsu and getting seated again, "Tea?" I asked cordially, offering to pour in order to delay longer. When he shook his head, I filled a cup for myself and took a sip before wrapping my hands around it.

_ Out of stalling tactics,_ I thought forbiddingly, h_ere we go._ Squaring my shoulders I finally met his gaze, "Thank you for your patience."

"With you, ningen, I often find it stretched to the limits. However, in this instance, you are welcome."

Maybe it was not seeing him for so long, or maybe it was the anticipation of worse things to come, but this barb didn't make me angry. I found a wry smile trace my lips as I thought of the evenings most recent events,"With the constant squabbling between Rin and Jaken, I think it's humorous that you find me so trying."

His eyes narrowed slightly and the light implication of a threat entered his voice, "Jaken and Rin I can ignore, you often openly court my ire."

I let my eyes fall to contemplate the contents of my cup, "I am sorry I so frequently vex you, Sesshomaru-sama, I do not wish to intentionally cause you aggravation." I mentally kicked myself, _Two seconds in and I'm already picking a fight._

"Hmm," I replied thoughtfully, I continued to stare at my cup and let the silence drag, waiting for him to say more. The hush went on for so long I was itching to look up from my cup, to see his face, but fear kept my gaze locked on the dark liquid, the porcelain and my hands. Eventually, the eternity past and he spoke. "Your world is considerably different from this one, this Sesshomaru, observed life there in a great deal easier for you." This was not what I expected, I finally looked up at him again and waited for him to say more.

Another minute of that uncomfortable silence passed, but with the intense scrutiny of his gaze undeniably focused on me, I cracked first, "In many ways it is a much less complicated place to be, I was born to it though, to it's conveniences and dangers. It is very different." I finished lamely taking a nervous drink from my cup.

"It is this lack of complication then that you long for. The known dangers and conveniences which make you desire to return your world." Shock hit me and I shook my head in vehement denial. It sounded like he was stating facts already in evidence, but since he had it all wrong, I treated it like a question.

"I have no longing to return to my former world, Sesshomaru-sama. I meant what I said with all my heart, I have found everything I need for my happiness right here. I yearn to be no where else." My voice carried all my conviction and heartfelt emotion, but his eyes narrowed and his hand clenched in barely suppressed rage.

"You cannot deceive this Sesshomaru, ningen. If you did not long for it, Byakuya and Kanna would not have summoned that place, those images and those," he paused momentary before spitting, "renchuu." He said the word for a group of people, but I suspected, (or a little voice whispered in my subconscious,) that he meant a specific person.

I sighed and rubbed my face in exhaustion, wearily I replied, "Byakuya and Kanna found a memory, of a man; a place in my soul filled with pain, regret, joy and love. They played upon that to manipulate me, I never longed to go back to that place. I desired, almost more than anything, to fix what went wrong when I was there before." On impulse I covered his hand with mine and searching his eyes for any forgiveness, as I continued earnestly, "There is no fixing the past, Sesshomaru-sama, I know that better than anyone, but I did want to, for a very long time. That, I freely admit and have never concealed. What I wish for you to know now, to understand so that there is no misconception between us, from this day forward is this: I am exactly were I want to be. Here now with Jaken and Rin." I paused to take a shaking breath and felt my grip on his hand tighten in my own agitation, "At your side for as long as you would allow it," I hung my head, looking into his eyes threatened to be my undoing, "and even if you don't, my heart would compel me to do so anyway."

He looked down at my hand on his and I sheepishly retracted the appendage, completely unable to meet his eyes now that my words were spent. Time passed, but neither of us made a move to leave. I shakily drank more tea to occupy myself and waited for him to speak or dismiss me. Three cups later I was down to the dregs of the pot, contemplating the flotsam of stems and leaves. I was too tired to even be nervous, when he finally spoke. Being the emperor of non sequitur, it was again not what I anticipated.

"The child in your tale, is foolish, weak and unreasonable. Why would you tell a story where the heroine is so ill adapted to survival?" He asked crossly. I looked to him in befuddlement, but answered the question the best way I could. _What are you getting at now,_ I wondered.

I felt my brow knit in thought as I answered slowly, thinking through my response, "The story is about a little girl who, unable to reconcile herself to her role in the world, enters one of her own imagining. Through her interactions with the illogical inhabitants of that world she gains a better respect for her own. Though in some ways the tale is more about the comedy and fancy of the characters themselves and Alice's adventures in the land. Much like Peter Pan, the moral is often forgotten in the motion of the story."

"Wendy was a fool." Sesshomaru snorted derisively. The incongruity of his emotive response made me chuckle and lightened the mood tremendously.

"I quite agree, Sesshomaru-sama, if i were her I would have ruled Neverland and never left it." I smiled ruefully.

"Many of your tales involve young girls haphazardly finding themselves in worlds fantastically different from their own, ningen. Do you tell them due to some feeling of correlation to your own predicament?" His question caught me off guard as I thought of the stories I had told Rin over the year. Peter Pan, The Little Mermaid, Twelve Dancing Princesses, Wizard of Oz and now Alice in Wonderland. Even the stories I told of Ireland, selkies came to live as strangers on dry land and Donella de Daoine O'Conghaile far removed from their birthplaces. I sighed.

"Perhaps a bit," I replied honestly, "Though most tales involve the hero over coming circumstances outside their normal purview and an easy way for that to occurs is to place them in a foreign setting. We admire and wish to emulate others who, despite being average, have persevered and toppled foes far more powerful and sinister than themselves."

His response was ponderous, "And, if this were one of your stories, ningen. What role would this Sesshomaru play if you are to be the heroine? The pet, the prince, soldier, juvenile delinquent, or perhaps something like a witch or Captain Hook?" I laughed, remembering his admiration he helped for the one handed villain. _More like the queen of hearts, _I thought ruefully, but I had not yet gotten to the role she played in Alice's tale.

"No, Sesshomaru-sama, you are far too fantastic a creature to be a bit player in any story, nor are you so depraved to be a villain. I would say you are the hero of your own adventure, and it is the rest of us who are the superfluous bit players." A_nd I am not Dorothy, more like a Cowardly Lion._

He reached forward and took my right hand from my mug, turning it palm up ,he grasped my fingertips and ran his thumb along the calluses I had gained from my sword hilt. "Do you not consider yourself as a fighter? Someone who would, despite being average, persevere and topple foes far more powerful and sinister than yourself?"

The feeling of his thumb rubbing along my palm was wreaking havoc with my mental functions, making it hard to focus on his words or compose a reply. Even my circulation and lungs were affected by this cognitive interrupt, causing my heart and breathing to labor. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath trying to ignore the tingling in my hand or the distress his gentle touch was wreaking upon my senses and focus on the words he had tossed back at me, "The fundamental difference between myself and the hero of a tale, Sesshomaru-sama, is in our goals. I do not wish power, glory, escape from my circumstances, wealth or a powerful mate. My only goal was to find a place for myself where I could abide and perhaps thrive. I have never sought out any of the villains or circumstances that have plagued me since my arrival." I smiled looking down at my hand in his, "Though, I will admit that the rewards I have reaped from those events were well worth the inconvenience to my security and ataraxia and I would fight to protect them."

"What would those be, ningen, what in this foreign land would you risk yourself to protect?" He asked softly, almost expectantly and though his thumb stopped it maddening oscillation, neither of us moved our hands away.

Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, the relief of seeing him after so long, or maybe I was out of my mind, but I answered him frankly, "Rin, you, Ah-Un my gorgeous kimono, even Jaken. I wouldn't just fight to protect those things, Sesshomaru-sama, I would fight to the death to keep them with me always." Some where I found the courage to meet his eyes and smile, "You see, Sesshomaru-sama, I am too petty to be a true hero; without any of those things, I feel my life would be a waste and I would not want to live it."

A pregnant pause followed my effusion. My face was flushed with embarrassment and I mentally berated myself for a fool. In the past hour I had all but declared the secret of my unrequited feelings towards the stoic beast. All I wanted to do at that moment was remove my hand from his, and flee his company, but I did not posses the strength. So I examined his claws as they framed my tiny hand and waited for him to castigate me for being so obsequious.

"Your kimono, ningen?" He asked, and the delectation in his voice once more drew my eyes to his face. The amused upturn to his lips could have been called a smirk, if I dared believe he would allow someone to see such a look and live to label it such.

I grinned ruefully and felt my entire face go from a blush to an unattractive beat color, using my free hand I absently petted the silky fabric along my arm, "It is the most beautiful and amazing thing I have ever possessed, I would not relinquish such a treasure easily, even I have my vanity." His laughter startled me and I felt my grin become broader and a chuckle escaped my own lips, easy the tension that I had built up.

It was truly a night of astonishing events and surprising revelations. As our mirth subsided I realized the look he was giving me was the same affectionate gaze he reserved for Rin when he thought everyone's attention was away from him or sleeping. "The evening passes, Donella-sama, you have given this Sesshomaru much to consider, you may go to your rest now." The tone of dismissal was gentle, but firm. Not wishing to open my mouth and ruin the fragile camaraderie we had shared, I reluctantly withdrew my hand from his and nodded.

The lateness of the hour made itself known to me as I stood. The strangeness of the encounter had held it at bay, but as my mind turned to thoughts of sleep, exhaustion weighed at my limbs. By the time I had changed and slipped beneath the chill blankets of my bed I could barely keep my eyes open. My peanut gallery had been silent since I stopped my lessons that night, but as I drifted off to sleep my grandmother said, "Well done, lass! An oath is an oath, and the balance knows that there be moren' one kinda family," I didn't have the mental capacity to puzzle out her meaning, bit the feeling of approval she emanated followed me into oblivion.

The next morning I woke to Rin bouncing on my bed. "Donella-sama! It snowed more last night! Rin wants to play in it!" The giggling ball of evil declared, ignoring my obvious grogginess.

"So go play in it." I grumbled as I pulled the blanket back over my head, earning a huff from my tormentor. Moving on her knees Rin worked her way to my head and pulled back the blanket.

"Rin wants to play with Donella-sama in the new snow!" her exasperated tone managed to suggest I had missed that obvious point.

"But I'm warm." I complained halfheartedly glaring at the imp through the messy veil of my hair. That's when the monster went for the jugular.

With puppy eyes and pouty lip quivering she pleaded, "Please Donella-sama, you always know the best snow games." The nose sniffle was over done, but still adorable.

"Bah! You are the worst yokai on them all! Fine, get me some tea and some porridge and I will dress myself, you win imp!" I roared, but I was smiling as I sat up and tickled her briefly before she escaped; scampering away to fetch my breakfast.

Rin returned as I was making my bed, "Just because we frequently sleep on the ground does not mean we should live like animals." She parroted, I had told her that months before when she asked me why I always insisted she make her bed. If I was going to be the child's pseudo mother figure I'd decided a few chores and boundaries wouldn't kill her.

"Exactly right Rin,"I laughed at her as I tucked the last blanket in. Sitting at the small table I thanked her for the food and dug in appreciatively. Dressing and making one's bed is hungry work after all. "Today I think we shall go sledding!" I announced cheerily.

"Oh!" Rin exclaimed clapping her hands in delight, "What sort of game is sledding?" She queried excitedly.

I looked up from my meal in astonishment, "You don't know what sledding is?" I asked incredulously and received a shake of the head in reply. "Well that's what you get for spending your childhood with two crabby yokai, for goodness sakes!" I declared exasperatedly dropping my spoon. Food forgotten, I ushered Rin to the front entrance in an irritated rush. A few weeks previously I had found some thick woven tatami mats in one of the storage buildings and added rope to the fronts, making passable slider sleds. I was very eager to fix this hole in her education. Putting shoes, douchuugi and cloaks on took only moments. The child read my agitated determination and hurried to keep up with me, her excitement and curiosity mounting. Grabbing my little innovations from the closet I'd hidden them in, I ushered the little girl out into the winter morning and marched to the gate.

Jaken came running after us, cloak and scarf flying, screaming for our duo to slow down and wait for him, which I chose to ignore. Honestly, I believe his only inborn yokai abilities were to sense when someone was having fun without him and his nails-on-chalkboard screeching. Though, that may not be fair, the little kappa was incredibly resilient and certainly knew how to take a blow to the head without permanent damage.

An unexpected obstacle to my exuberance presented itself just past the gate in the form of a crotchety canine. "Ningen, where do you believe you are going?" I too a wide birth around his armless left side and kept walking. Predictably I only made it a few more feet before he was blocking my path once again. I indignantly pointed to the tall hill about a hundred yards south of us.

"The top of that hill, excuse us, please," I replied peevishly and sidestepped him again. Surprisingly this time he let us pass, even more astonishing, he fell into step behind me as my little train continue it's progress. Once to the top of the mound I dramatically flopped my sleds side by side into the snow. The entire company looked on curiously.

"Okay, for the first run, just so you see how in works, Rin, you and I will go together on one sled and I'll steer. The mechanics are pretty simple, just pull tho cord and lean gently in the direction you wish the sled to go," I chuckled merrily, "though that isn't always as easy as it looks, sometimes the snow or hidden objects under it can change your trajectory. Willing to give it a go?" I asked her with a mischievous grin.

"Sure thing, boss! Just tell Rin what to do!" She announced excitedly.

Taking a seat onto the nearest sled and taking the 'reigns' I gave her a conspiratorial wink, "Climb into my lap, this first run, I'll hold you." Taking her seat I used my left foot to push us forward in the snow until the hill's natural gradient could continue our movement, and off we went. The squeal of pure delight that emanated from Rin, and my own gleeful laughter were well worth the work making the contraptions and the inevitable fall sideways into the snow we took.

Sensing the oncoming spill I abandoned the rope, laughing I curled myself around Rin and rolled off the hopelessly out of control sled. Gratefully we didn't slide to far and the snow was light and fluffy. Coming out of the fall, I had taken the brunt of the whitewashing on my right side and was still spitting some snow as Rin leaped to her feet a with a shout of joyful triumph, "Can we do that again?"

Still kneeling in the snow, I let out a full belly laugh at her dancing eyes, "Of course, Hotaru! Go get the sled." She bounded away and quickly retrieved the toy, Jaken's voice rang out as we ascended the hill together.

"Donella-sama, that is a terrible mode of transportation, you quickly loose speed when you reach even ground." I laughed loudly, but didn't answer him until we had gained the top of the hill again.

Flicking his silly hat I replied, "This particular type of sled is not meant for transport, but for the fun of it." As I spoke I noticed Rin had placed herself at the slide mark from our previous run and was trying to inch herself forward with her foot as I had done, "Hotaru, wait! I'll race you!" I declared and hurriedly positioned the other sled, "Jaken, please give Rin a push to get her started." I said, but instead of Jaken, it was Sesshomaru who stepped forward and gave the child her start. His action stunned me so much I had forgotten to propel my own sled until Rin's laughter broke the stupor. Using my foot again, I was soon laughingly flying down the hill once more. Though, due to the head start and her lighter weight, Rin won by a long shot, and was already bounding up the hill declaring, "Rin is the winner!" before I had even stopped.

Upon regaining the summit, yet again, I gave my sled to Jaken, "Why don't you try it Jaken, I bet you'll make it further than I did."  
"Of course I will woman!" He declared, marching forward.

"Donella-sama would you give Rin a push?" The puppy dog eyes were in full force again.

"I'll give you both a push and you can race!" I announced with a wink, in seconds they were off and I was suddenly alone on the hill with the enigmatic daiyoukai. Even though I was curious about his attendance at this little outing, I was not willing to break the silence and possibly risk upsetting the jovial mood of the company. So, I pretended the quiet was a companionable one. Completely ignoring Uacteran's inappropriate suggestion that, _the lad would be willin ta give ye a slide down his bank, iffin' ye stopped bein' more frigid than te weather,_ and just stood next to him as we watched Jaken and Rin's progress. For once, it seemed my mamo was on my side as she remained silent, and Uacteran said no more.

Rin handily beat Jaken, who, still learning how to handle his sled, ended up rolling most of the way down the hill without it. They were headed back to us, when Sesshomaru asked, "Is this sort of entertainment common in your homeland, ningen?"

I turned my attention from the now bickering pair to his oddly intense visage, "It is far to temperate in California, where I lived for snow to last more than an hour. However, much further north and east in the place where I was born and raised in was quite common. There are even special permanent structures built to make sledding easier and devices to create temporary snow in case nature doesn't provide it speedily enough."_I wonder how toboggan would translate. After seeing some of my world, I wonder if he interprets machinery as magic, or human inventiveness._

"Hmm," He replied ponderously, "And what is this place called, where they have ways to create snow on command, ningen?"

I smiled sadly, "Michigan, Sesshomaru-sama, I was born in a small town called Marquette, in Michigan."

"What is the distance between where we stand to this, Mee shee gen, ningen?" his use of the word ningen was beginning to get on my nerves, but the way he pronounced Michigan alleviated my ire quickly, it was just too funny.

I thought about it moment before replying, glancing down the hill, marking that Rin and Jaken were about halfway up the hid and approaching steadily, _How to put this in terms he'll grasp.._ "Not knowing exactly where we stand on the island that is Japan, this country, I'd estimate that it's about fourteen thousand kilometers. You would have to circle the coastline of this land mass, approximately four times to make the distance, and then travel about five hundred years into the future."

He let out another thoughtful, "Hmm," and remained still until Rin and Jaken again skittered off down the hill, intent on their rematch. The tall people momentarily forgotten in the heat of their rivalry. "You will spar with this Sesshomaru, before the evening meal. To not tire yourself over much before then." The mandate caught me off guard, but when I turned from watching the hill to him, he was gone. _Hateful, homicidal, haranguing hound! _I thought vexedly, but there was nothing for it and so I turned my attention back to my remaining companions, trying to loose myself in their fun.

_**A/N **__**  
**_

_I am completely overwhelmed by the responses I have gotten. Thank you all very much! They are most well received and I feel utterly unworthy of such an outpouring of love and praise. I shall endeavor to make my humble efforts worth such extolments. The next chapters will be a bit tricky. Things are snowballing (as it were) between Sesshou and Donella quite quickly, but rocky times are still ahead. I have to again tweak Takahashi-sama's world once more to fit the way Inuyasha ends (which I feel was a bit rushed) to fit the circumstances. Especially since I removed Kohaku from the party some time after Rin is brought back to life the second time, but before Donella joined them and he is important for the fight between Sesshou and Shishinki as well all that follows. It will be worth it though, once Donella sees Seshou with two whole arms and he triumphantly destroys Magatsuhi how can she possibly keep resisting him?And of course Byakuya is going to have to die differently than Takahashi-sama wrote it, but I promise, not much differently. I'd hate to rewrite cannon so greatly, the idea is to make Donella fit, not make the world change to accommodate. _

_**Vocabulary:  
**_

_****__**D**_amatte inasai: Japanese,Keep/remain silent.

_**Anura:** Latin entomological name for the frog family._

_**Arachnida: ** Latin entomological name for the spider family._

_**Jyorogumo: **A yokai spider that can change its appearance of that of a seductive woman. Jyorogumo's name literally mean whore spider in Japanese folklore._

_**Chabudai: **A short-legged table used in traditional Japanese homes._

_**Nabemono: **Term referring to all varieties of Japanese hot pot dishes._

_**Kabocha:** Winter squash much like pumpkin introduced to Japan by Portuguese sailors in 1541 (mid Sengoku period), who brought it with them from Cambodia._

_**Houtou-nabe:** Specifically a nabemono made with kabocha originating from the Yamanashi Prefecture in Japan._

_**Gari: **Pickled ginger._

_**Irori:** Type of traditional sunken hearth common in Japan, in the winter a horigotatsu or kotatsu would be placed over it. Today they have been replaced by space heaters built into the katatsu._

_**Horigotatsu:** predecessor to the modern kotatsu: a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits, underneath is a heat source, often built into the table itself._

_**Oki:** the blanket or futon covering a horigotatsu or kotatsu._

_**Renchuu:** large, generalized group of people._

_**Tatami**: a type of mat used as a flooring material in traditional Japanese- style rooms, can also be used to refer to cushions used instead of chairs. _


	19. It's a Trap!

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. If I did own them though, Sesshou would rule the world by now... The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. The Story Beauty and the Beast was written by Marie Le Prince de Beaumont in 1765 I don't think they had copyrights back then so the disclaimor is moot. If it's not obvious that I'm making no money off of this, feel free to check my refrigerator, I have pickles and some rice of unknown age in there, not steak and caviar.**The Botanist and the Beast**

Chapter 19: It's a Trap!

_Dear Alice,_

_ I remember it now! The moral of that is—"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!" Do be a dear and keep that in mind it makes the game go rather better._

_ -The Duchess_

_This dojo is just too damn small!_ I though, not for the first item that evening, as Sesshomaru again drove me into a wall. I managed to reverse my slide before I slammed into the surface and charged forward into battle once more. _Lass, stop tiptoein' around the lad and use what ye have been taught, or take yer cloths off if'n yer gonna just keep dancin' fer 'im. Yer waistin' the pup's time otherwise,_ Uacteran's goaded for the millionth time in the past half hour. Our swords locked and Sesshomaru and I circled each other, equal forces holding us in stasis. Sweat trickled down my back distractingly and with a frustrated growl I shoved forward and used his own resistance to propel myself backwards and away from him. He advanced, intent on filling the space I had put between us, but I yelled, "Stop!" Surprisingly he complied, immediately lowering Tenseiga, though he remained posses to deflect any attack I may mount, he stilled and gave me a questioning glance.

Swallowing around my parched throat I said, "I realize you are concerned you will injure me, Sesshomaru-sama, but I will learn nothing if you continue to restrain yourself so much. Most opponents I will face will posses superior strength to my own. I must learn to counter that, you have told me this yourself."

He gave me a considering look, "What do you suggest, ningen?"

I met his eyes and felt a wicked little grin form on my lips, "I suggest you stop pulling your punches and I start showing you what I can really do." The bark of laughter he let out startled me. It was not only unexpected, the jovial rumble of it did disturbing things to my internal mechanics, causing my stomach to flip flop, my heart to beat faster and my brain to go blank.

A brief moment of sadness washed over me when he stopped, but I didn't have much time analyze it as he leveled a challenging smirk at me saying, "Finally," with an eager tone and charged.

My mamo and Uacteran had been guiding me on how to use my powers in various ways during my sword practices, but this was the first time I had an opponent to actually test their usefulness. _Holy shit! He's fast!_ Was all I had time to think before he was on me. Amazingly I felt my power rise with unconscious ease, raising my sword in a defensive posture I erected a barrier directly in front of me as he struck. The impact of his blow was intense, far more powerful than I remembered Byakuya's fireball being, it made my teeth rattle and my skin crawl. But it held, _Now comes the hard part, _I thought determinedly.

My barrier had pushed him back momentarily. Immediately dropping it, I brought my sword forward to strike at his abdomen, he deflected it easily, and I quickly brought the barrier back up as he countered, saving me from another crushing blow. _How's that for dancing, dog breath! _ I thought triumphantly at Uacteran as I pulled out another of my new tricks. I feigned to Sesshomaru's left and created a small barrier just above his ankle, as he tripped I struck at his sword arm focusing on infusing my blade with the attributes of fire and channeling more energy there. The results were dramatic. Sesshomaru fell forward, gracefully corrected and turned in time for a small explosion to ignite on his bicep, the resulting force shoved him into the floor.

Fear gripped me, whether for his well being or retaliation I'm not entirely certain, but I dropped my blade and sputtered, "Oh shit! Sesshomaru..." Which is all I got out before he grabbed my ankle and threw me to the ground. The impact momentarily stunned me and he had me pinned before I regained my composure. His nose was inches from my own when he spoke.

"First blood Donella-san, well done, but never drop your blade unless you know your adversary has truly been defeated."

I swallowed and licked my dry lips trying to calm myself before sputtering, "I didn't actually believe I would injure you, Sesshomaru-sama," I took a deep, calming breath before continuing, but calm was impossible with him pressed against me, "I'm very sorry." Instead of the rebuke and threat I expected he laughed, and all my faculties went haywire as it pleasantly rumbled through his chest and into my own.

"Baka, It is a scratch, you are not listening, ningen, this Sesshomaru is pleased with your performance." his words were a little lost in my fried brain, the only thing that really registered was his incredible laugh and the smile on his face making all thought impossible. What happened next was entirely my fault, though accidental, I think. I was attempting to crane my neck to see his shoulder, but the awkward movement with my body pinned and his hand holding my wrists above my head caused our lips to meet instead.

I am certain what happened after that was not my fault, or possibly a figment of my over stimulated brain. I gasped in shock, my eyes widening with panic, contrarily, his eyes narrowed. He leaned forward and deepened my little peck into a full blown, reality spinning, forth of July firework finally kiss.

I'd like to say I was shocked into immobility, to stunned to resist the insanity that was occurring, but who lies to their own journal? Our lips touched and from that small spark an inferno was born. I melted, and nothing else existed for me beyond the press of our bodies and the intoxication of his mouth. A small, needy sound escaped me, and a low rumble from him answered the primal call. My eyelids drooped languidly, but did not close, I was captivated my his golden gaze and equally lost look. Then suddenly we were standing and the unexpected change made me dizzy. "Jaken." He said abruptly and I had no time for my lust addled mind to process that word before he was stepping away from me and the door slid open to reveal the little toad, in mid screech. "-ella-sama! Donella-sama you must look to Rin! She is making the most unbearable snorting and coughing noises! I also believe her temperature is higher than it should be. Seshomaru-dono, I did not know you would be here. Someone must see to Rin, the troublesome creature seems ill."

His fulmination eventually reached me and I was in motion and halfway to the shiro entrance before I remember thinking to do so. _Rin, _I thought urgently as I entered, "Where is she?" I asked not even looking to see if the kappa had followed.

Impatiently, Sesshomaru pushed past me in the direction of her room as Jaken answered, "Her bed, my lady." I had not even slowed my step, however, trusting the daiyoukai to lead me to his ward and soon I was at her bedside.

"Sesshomaru-sama, Donella-sama!" Rin greeted us cheerfully as I lowered myself to the futon and her lord positioned himself in the nearby corner.

"How are you feeling, Haturo?" I asked as my hand rested on her forehead and I gazed down into her eyes.

"A little tired," she admitted. "Jaken-sama fed me some broth though and that made my tummy feel much better." The kappa made a small, self-satisfied noise behind me.

"Well it looks like you have a tiny fever and are a little congested. We probably just played in the snow too much today. I bet you, if you get a little sleep, you will feel much better tomorrow." _Ah, Jaken, every sniffle is influenza and every cut is septic. _I thought with a rueful smile as I tucked the girl into bed and ushered the yokai audience into the hall.

"Well done with the broth Jaken." I said reassuringly. He began a self-congratulatory diatribe, but I cut him off. The continued presence of Sesshomaru was making me self-conscious of what had occurred in the dojo, and of my still sweat stained cloths and messy hair. "Jaken, I think I will bathe before dinner. Why don't you put together some chicken, udon and vegetables; I'll make a soup when I'm done." _Coward!_ Uacteran growled. Without another word to my companions, or the troupe in my head, I retrieved clean cloths from my room and went to bathe.

Dinner went smoothly, and I, for once, was relieved at Sesshomaru's absence. Jaken was uncharacteristically quiet as I cooked. Needing a distraction from my churning emotions and distinctly unhealthy thoughts I asked him to tell me the story of the meidou zangetsuha and how Sesshomaru's mother brought Rin back to life. The tale was a long one, and though I had heard it before, his fawning, ubiquitous chatter was almost as good as a radio for drowning out my unwanted cerebration. His tale lasted through dinner and the clean up. After, I tried to coax him into the common room, but the imp declined, saying he wanted to check on AhUn. I should have know it was a trap.

In desperate need to order my thoughts, I entered the makeshift living room with the intent to grab my journal and retiring to my bed. He must have been in the corner near the door. By the time I had my diary in hand and turned to leave, Sesshomaru had neatly cut me off from the exit. My heart leaped into my throat, and my stomach flipped. The predatory glint in his eye did nothing to put me at ease. _The lad would never hurt ya, _My grandmother soothed, but it did little to reassure me as I stuttered out, "S-S-Sesshomaru-s-sama."

"Do you fear me, ningen?" My mind fought against my emotions. The sound of his voice was the same detached tone he always used, but it immediately brought back the memory of his hungry mouth on mine. My palms began to sweat and I panicked, _God, I can't do this now! I need time to think, this is a big mistake, he can't really want me. Where is his armor?_

_ Foolish girl, how much longer ye gonna make the man wait! _This time it was Uacteran who spoke, but I felt both my antecedents' disapproval.

"N-no, Sesshomaru-sama, but I really should check on Rin." I replied, unsuccessfully trying to calm my heart and slow my breathing, but my emotions were running too high and he was just too near. I could smell him, and again, it caused memories of his body pressed against mine to flood my treacherous brain.

He inclined his head thoughtfully, listening to something I could not hear, "Rin is fine, she slumbers peacefully."

"Oh," I managed lamely, taking a hesitant step back in hopes putting distance between us could help calm my jangled nerves and allow me to think coherently. I felt the edge of the horigotatsu against the back of my calves and stopped. He quickly filled the space between us until he was only a breath away and I had to crane my neck to see his face.

"You seem fearful, Donella-san," his eyes narrowed, "This Sesshomaru knows of nothing that threatens you and yet," he inhaled deeply, "You smell like prey. Tell me what causes you to be apprehensive if not, this Sesshomaru?" His voice rumbled through me and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath against the sensation.

My shaky answer came out so breathy I almost didn't recognize my own voice, "I am frightened of myself."

Hmm." He rumbled, and I felt my knees threatening to give, my eyes drifted shut on their own accord. _Don't look at him, you'll do something crazy if you look at him._ I thought to myself and my studio audience continued to send waves of disapproval towards me. I hugged my journal tightly. "A creature with as much temerity as you continually show, Donella-san, does not seem the type who fear themselves." His hand came up and wrapped around the bottom of my jaw. I visibly trembled and lost my capacity to speak. When his thumb graze my bottom lip, it felt like an electric current had been run through my body, and my eyes flew open to meet Sesshomaru's hooded gaze. I gasped and my wobbly knees could no longer hold me. The sound of my journal falling to the floor was drowned out by the rushing of blood in my ears. His arm wrapped around my waste and vaguely I felt my body caught and lowered by his mokomoko, but his lips were on mine and demanded the fullness of my attention.

Time passed, how much I do not know, I was lost in the moment. Drowning in his touch, the feel of his body under my hands, the fire his kisses ignited and the small noises which spoke of need and want we both emitted. When his hand left me and reached for my obi I came to myself enough to capture it with my own and pull away from him. Sesshomaru graced me with a frustrated look, and I searched his eyes as I asked, "Why?"

His brow furrowed at my inquiry, but he answered, "You are worthy." I jolted at that, the confusion and anxiety putting my adore at bay.

"How can you say that after all you have seen, after all that I have done? Sesshomaru-sama, how could you possibly believe such a thing after what Byakuya showed you? I almost got us both killed." I felt my grip on his tighten in my anxiety and I searched his eyes for some sort of sign that my words had reached him.

"Baka, the vermin only removed the rival from the path of this Sesshomaru." He he raised his hand, bringing mine to his lips, "I was counseled to be patient with you, Donella-san, but you push so hard you make the task impractical." I felt my resistance waning with his words and ministrations to my appendage and I relaxed into his embrace once more. _The lad's wantin' ye, should be enough, lass. He cares fer ye and is willin' ta accept ya as is, what more could ye ask from any man?_ The gentle voice of my grandmother pulled me back out of my lassitude once more.

_I'm willing to relent, but not like this. _I thought back at them, grinding my teeth against the desire to give into him, and my own passions, I pulled my hand away and pushed on his chest with the other, "Sesshomaru-sama," I looked into his narrowed eyes, realizing my reluctance was trying his patience and bordering on rejection, "I do not wish to refuse you, and I do not deny my desires are the same as yours in this matter." I took a calming breath as he tried to close the gap between us and I rebuffed him again. He let loose a low growl of warning, "If you wish to have me, I am yours, but I cannot go any further until I am done with my training. Until my mind is entirely my own, and not shared with spirits of the past." I pulled my hand from his and placed it gently on his cheek, "I am sure you are well aware I am no blushing maid, but if we do this now, there will be too many onlookers. I want to have that moment, and all the rest, between you and I alone." Heart in my throat I searched his eyes for understanding.

His lids drifted shut. I felt his slow intake of breath, his arm snaked around my waist and he exhaled just as slowly. "Your words are reasonable, Donella-san." He murmured, his voice thick with meaning, he pulled me close and buried his face in the crook of my neck. Mirroring his pose I wrapped my own arms around Sesshomaru and lowered my head to his shoulder. I was content to hold him and be held as we both struggled with the overwhelming force between us. For once, my mind was quiet and the only emotions I felt were my own. Idly I stroked his head letting my fingers run through his silky hair and the contented sounds he made encouraged me to continue.

We remained in that pose for so long I began to drift off to sleep, his soothing breath and warm presence relaxing me despite the tension I had felt earlier. When my hand stilled Sesshomaru spoke, his low voice against my skin quickly bringing me back into reality, "You should sleep."

"Mm, I believe I am already asleep, Sesshomaru-sama, surely this is a dream." I murmured.

"Wagakokoro, if you dream, so does this One." He shifted to look at me and I lifted my head from his shoulder, "It is a reverie this Sesshomaru has had many times of late, and is always reluctant to wake from." His mokomoko shifted around us as he brought his hand up to touch my face and favor me with a gentle look, "This Sesshomaru has come to enjoy your nearness, and rues past instances he squandered such." Words escaped me at his sudden verbosity and uncharacteristic emotive revelation. Instead, I smiled and kissed him softly. Comically, I yawned mid-kiss. Taking my left hand into his I felt the mokomoko shifted again, helping us both to our feet. "Come, Donella-san."

Silently he lead me down the hall to my room, and preceded me in. I don't think I can adequately describe the intense look in his eyes as he untied my obi and divested me of my outer kimono, leaving me my short, linen kosode. The serious expression and the obvious restraint in his movements are hard to explain, the word that comes to mind, even now is, reverence. With the air of ritual he folded the blankets on my futon back and took my hand. Wordlessly I settled onto the bed and allowed him to pull the covers over me, afraid to say a word lest I interrupt the spell we were under.

He gracefully brushed his lips to mine before turning to go. Realizing he was leaving I snatched his empty right sleep and tugged. He gave my renegade hand a disapproving look, but I left him no time for reproach, "Please," I begged, "Stay, at least until I fall asleep, Sesshomaru-sama." I let my hand drop with my words, but my plea had been heard. He folded himself on top of the blankets near me and allowed me to snuggle close to him. "Arigato," I whispered, "Sleep." He replied and I did. The last thing I remember was the razor sharp claws of the daiyokai, ever so softly running through my hair.

Morning brought a disorienting sense of loss and confusion as to if my hyperactive imagination had invented the entire rendezvous with the yokai lord. The only indication I had to the contrary was my attire, I was still in my kosode instead of the yukata I normally slept in, but that was circumstantial evidence at best. _Twasn't a dream lass, tread carefully, the man has given ye his heart and doubtin' it would insult that. _I groaned against the tone of my grandmother's voice. _I'm not doubting him, just my own sanity, alright? Christ on a crutch, it's not like any of this really makes any sense to me yet._ I thought crossly back, squeezing my eyes shut irritably.

_If'n ye didn't ignored yer betters so much ye'd have ta right of it months ago, ya boggy git. _Uacteran growled. I sighed heavily. "Great, everyone has an opinion." I muttered, huffily as I began to dress. "I really wish some days that my life wasn't reality television for ghosts. Are you going to vote me off the island?" I asked crossly. _No need ta take that tone, dear, we care fer ya is all and jus wantcha happy, _My grandmother soothed, _And ta question the lad's devotion now is most certainly not the way ta ensure a happy future. _I let a frustrated snarl be my answer as I grumpily made my way to the kitchen to find tea and breakfast.

The day went in a fairly routine fashion. Rin was well recovered from her evening sniffles and so Jaken, she, and I spent the day deciding what foods from the storehouse we could take with us, doing laundry and perusing the travel provisions we had available. I had a sensed that our time at the shiro was limited to days. There was a feeling of expectant restlessness in the atmosphere that denied us sedentary life. My feeling was confirmed when I saw Sesshomaru that evening.

He again appeared in the dojo while I was practicing. Between one kata and the next, my blade encountered another and we were suddenly sparing. Knowing that he would not thank me for worrying about the wound I had caused the previous day I did not hold back. The rhythm of strike, shield, fireball, shield, strike combined with the smooth flow of the sword patterns he had taught me made it less like a battle and more like a dance. I knew his moves, the subtle flexing of muscle that told me what his next attack would be, things an unknown opponent would be incapable of seeing. I found it surprising that even though he was using his full strength and I was fighting with deadly force I had no fear either of us would become seriously injured. Yesterday's incident not with standing, it did not take him long to adapt to the new additions to my familiar tactics. In this we each knew the other so well it was fluid and unstrained. The exercise continued for quite some time, wreaking havoc on the room that contained us; however, a victor was inevitably determined.

Sweaty, with muscles twitching from exhaustion, I stumbled and he pressed the advantage. Falling to my knees, unable to raise a shield his sword struck unerringly toward my chest, it would have been an impaling blow if Tensaiga could kill and Sesshomaru had not checked his motion in time. The sword point stopped mere centimeters from my breastbone. Weakly I looked up from the blade to the daiyokai towering over me and I grinned. "Akirameru, Sesshomaru-sama!" I huffed breathlessly as I let my sword rest on the floor and removed my hand from it, smiling up at him all the while.

"You are not injured." He said matter-of-factly as he performed his chiburi and noto symbolically flicking blood from his blade and smoothly returning it to it's sheath gracefully, even with just one arm, before extending his hand to me.

"I am not harmed." I confirmed as I grasped it and he pulled me to my feet. "Though I will likely be very sore tomorrow, and this dojo looks like it was fire bombed." I laughed with a rueful look around the now destroyed workspace and the smoldering holes where my fire balls had missed my opponent and collided with walls, floor and practice dummies instead. Dropping my hand, Sesshomaru retrieved my sword and held it out to me, waiting for me to go through the motions of sheathing it before he spoke.

"It has served it's purpose, Donella-san, and we shall be leaving this place at dawn to continue our search." His nonplus statement didn't surprise me considering the feelings of restlessness our little band seemed to be sharing.

"I thought as much, Sesshomaru-sama. Everything is prepared for our departure, we will be able to set forth quickly tomorrow." He raised an eyebrow as we exited the dojo and made our way across the courtyard and I laughed, "It should not surprise you that those who follow you would be sensitive to the moods of our lord after such a long time. You are eager to discover the truth behind the meidou, master it, and defeat Naraku. Even Jaken can see that the weather is warming and the shiro would not be safe in your absence, being a beacon for looters or worse, and not easily defensible by just he and myself." I had reached the shiro entrance before I realized that, at some point in my speech, he had stopped walking. I turned back to him in confusion, "Is something wrong, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"Do you truly claim This Sesshomaru as your lord?" The question was asked calmly, with no emotive inflection to betray his mood, but his eyes were intense and expectant. Obviously the answer was important to him, but again I was at a loss to know what he wished me to say, I sighed heavily as I closed the short gap between us, never taking my eyes from his intense face.

"Ever since I fell through that hole and found myself in this place, you have provided me with aid, even when you did not wish to. After Byakuya's first attach you have protected me, provided for me, trained me and have allowed me to remain at your side even though to do so impedes your cause. If I have ever owed anyone my loyalty and devotion it is you," I took a deep breath, rallying my courage. I held his gaze as I boldly invaded his space, placing one hand tentatively on his hip and the other on his forearm. My daring was rewarded when he put his hand on my waist, giving me the spirit to continue, "And even if last night was a dream, I can not find it in me to continue hiding how I care for you and the joy I feel every moment you allow me to be near you. In my heart you are my lord, but if you do not wish me to say such things I won't, Sesshomaru-sama." My voice was trembling with suppressed emotion as I finished and it was becoming hard to meet his cryptic stare and not turn away.

His answer was not long in coming though, in the space of one shuddering exhale and the intake of a shaky breath he had pulled me close and captured my lips with his. I smiled when he finally let me up for air, "Oh, I'm totally interpreting that as approval, My Lord."

"Impertinent as always." He replied and my respondent laugh was interrupted by another passionate kiss, which was intern discontinued by the inarticulate, malcontent screech of a flabbergasted kappa. I felt Sesshomaru smirk briefly against my mouth at the sound before he raised his head and addressed Jaken with signature stoic mask in place, "Jaken, have you prepared a bath for Donella-san?"

The flustered imp made a few tongue-tied noises before he finally squeaked out, "Y-yes, My Lord."

"Then you will busy yourself with preparing an evening meal, Donella-san has had an exhausting afternoon and needs time to recover before she tells her tales." Jaken seemed to be suffering from hysteria induced aphonia, after a few squeaks and squawks he managed to nod and scamper way from the scene his mind was not ready to interpret. I waited until the door closed before I laughed.

"Poor Jaken, you are going to be the death of him."

"Hm," he replied before he gave my hip a gentle squeeze and released me, "Go bathe," the command was almost teasing and I gave him a flirty grin and a wink before I left him.

**A/N: **_Wow, it took a while to get this chapter out, I console myself that it wasn't five years in the wait, but still, thank you for your continued patience, amazing reviews, helpful comments and encouragement! Poor Sesshomaru, now that the damn has burst he is loosing patience fast, he's not a man who is happy to tread water when the shore is so close at hand... It was hard to write the fluff and not go OC, as always damn tight lipped dog fights me for ever sentence, thinking actions are better than words, but he's learning not to scare the girl. Mean while there are things that he would delight in hearing, if he wasn't so enigmatic about his insecurities... And Donella! Geez what an obstinate wretch! __**:-D**_

**Vocabulary:**

**Horigotatsu**: Predecessor to the modern kotatsu: a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits, underneath is a heat source, often built into the table itself.

**Baka**: Fool, idiot, dumb ass

**Akirameru**: I give up; I resign myself: I surrender.

**Chiburi**: The ritualistic motion of flicking blood from one's blade before putting it the sheath.

**Noto**: The precise, almost ritualistic motion of returning a blade to it's sheath after chiburi.

**Wagakokoro: My heart (romantic not referring to the organ which is shinzou.)**


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